To wake up at the sight of your girlfriend turning her back on you, currently cooking your breakfast while humming a happy song she doesn't recognize, brings a lot of unimaginable feelings inside her heart.

Her girlfriend. Seungwan is officially her girlfriend. Joohyun is still not used to that title, even when they have been dating for seven months.

It has been such a wonderful seven months for Joohyun to experience in her life. And Seungwan turns out to be such a sweetheart after she applies the new title for the scientist to use in her life. 

She always treated her like Joohyun is the most wonderful woman in the entire world. Even though they still converse to one another like usual—teasing and making fun of each other like they used to—things also changed into something Joohyun had never expected to happen.

Seungwan will always keep her close by her side whenever they walk together. 

Sometimes she will hold her hand tightly or circling her arm around her shoulders, as long as their body brushes against each other. Sometimes she will suddenly lean down to steal a quick kiss on her lips, and she will just grin innocently while giggling softly when her face turns red because of the sudden contact. Sometimes she will land a soft kiss on her forehead just out of a moment. 

And when Joohyun is being the one who did that by tiptoeing on her feet to kiss her cheek, Seungwan will smile so widely like her face is about to split into two until her eyes turn to crescent.

Furthermore, she also stays a lot in her apartment to spend the day together with the smart scientist. 

Just like right now.

Joohyun silently sneaks her way on her behind before circling her arms around her waist in a back hug. She buried her face inside her clothed shoulder and took in her natural scent she adores as she gives it a kiss to greet her. "Good morning."

"Good morning, princess," greeted Seungwan, and she could hear the happy smile she currently had on her face. Joohyun tried to hold back her own stupid grin because the older woman was calling her with a pet name that always made her feel special. She turned her head to let her girlfriend kiss her on the lips before she focused back with the breakfast she currently makes. "I make pancakes. Do you want some?"

She nods against her shoulder, before giving her neck a kiss exactly on the spot where she just planted a red mark on top of her fair skin last night. Joohyun laughs when she feels Seungwan straighten her back because of the contact, and unlatches herself from her body to let the scientist finish making their breakfast without Joohyun being a disturbance.

Now that they have become girlfriends and Joohyun often stays at Seungwan’s place, there has been a discussion whether it will be better for her to move in so they can live together.

Both of them like the idea, but Joohyun has her doubts. Moving in with Seungwan means that she will leave Seulgi to live alone in their shared apartment. She knows she just can help Seulgi find a new roommate for her to live together, knowing that Seulgi will be open with the idea. But after years of living together with the microbiologist, Joohyun learned that it might not be a great idea to leave Seulgi with strangers, considering how the girl has her own quirks that might not be acceptable by others.

“You don’t need to decide now,” Seungwan breaks the silence when Joohyun was busy with her thoughts about Seulgi in the middle of their discussion over the prospect of living together. “Just take your time, Joohyun.”

Her head drops on the table as Joohyun groans. “But I want to live together with you.”

“And I also want to live together with you,” chuckled Seungwan as she ran her fingers through the long strands of her hair. Joohyun liked it when Seungwan did that. It feels intimate, like a secret only shared by the two of them. “But it hasn’t been that long ever since we became a couple. Let’s just take it slow and easy. No need to rush on things.”

She pouted, knowing that Seungwan is right like usual. Joohyun can’t blame herself for wanting to rush on things in their relationship, including living together with Seungwan. She has waited for Seungwan for ten years. Joohyun is ing tired of waiting.

“How about this?” proposed Seungwan and successfully had Joohyun’s attention back on her. “You can spend your weekend with me, while you spend your weekday with your roommate. After all, it’s closer to reach your workplace from your apartment instead of mine.”

Seungwan’s explanation got her thinking. Right, she can do that instead of constantly worrying over what Seulgi will do if she lives alone because Joohyun moved in with Seungwan. She grabs her girlfriend’s collar and tugs her forward to kiss her, much to Seungwan’s surprise. But it seems like the older woman was already used to it, because she was chuckling against her lips before kissing her back. 

And the moment just escalates from there.

The younger woman decided to watch her cook by sitting on the island, waiting patiently until she was done in making them breakfast. Her mind decided to wander back to her birthday, when everything changed for the two of them. Their first real kiss after Joohyun waits for her for more than a decade (she will not count that nightmare of a kiss when she was still sixteen and Seungwan didn't hold back in rejecting her confession), and the declaration of what they feel for each other. 

Officially put a title in their newly established relationship as girlfriends.

Joohyun also didn't forget to corner Seulgi a week after she was officially dating Seungwan, finally having the time to talk about this matter with her best friend. She squinted her eyes in suspicion towards her aloof and expressionless roommate who was ignoring her because she was currently watching Supergirl, trying to catch up with the rest of the episodes after such a busy week of researching for a new medicine.

"All this time, you know Seungwan likes me, don't you?"

"As clear as the day," answered Seulgi in a deadpan, still having her eyes fixed on the bright screen in front of her while munching a fresh instant popcorn she just made with the help of a microwave.

She let out a scoff, thick in disbelief. Turns out her presumption was right. "You know that and yet you never bother to tell me. Why?"

"I wanted to tell you when you were dumping all of your emotional distress on me. When I asked what kind of opinion or feedback do you want me to give you," snorted Seulgi, being way too relaxed for someone who was currently being interrogated. She still has not even given Joohyun a quick glance because right now, the TV show has reached an exciting part. "But you answered me with—as I quote—'The kind that doesn't raise my hopes up.' That's why I didn't tell you."

Her eyes still looked at her in suspicion, even though deep down inside her heart, she knew she had become the defeated party in this matter. "Really? Or are you just saying that to play with me?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

Okay, that one question silences Joohyun for questioning her further. She let out an annoyed scoff, being a sore loser because Seulgi once again defeated her in their debate. The sales rep sulkily slumped on the couch as she watched the show with a huge pout.

"Stop being pathetic and sad like that. You just got the only person you ever love with all your heart as your girlfriend," scoffed Seulgi, this time being the one who is in disbelief. "The audacity."

She lets out a laugh before she scoots closer to the spot where Seulgi usually sits. Joohyun pulled her into a side hug and kissed her cheek, leaning her head into her shoulder as they watched the superhero TV show together. The sign of silent thank you from Joohyun to her roommate because she was the one who helps her in sorting out her feelings for Seungwan.

Seulgi reciprocates the gratitude by kissing the top of her head and moving away her bowl of popcorn so Joohyun will not be able to steal her snack. 

Her girlfriend brought a plate filled with a stack of pancakes after she was done cooking their breakfast. Seungwan joined her on the island as she drizzled a generous amount of maple syrup on top of the pancake because she knows how much of a sweet tooth Joohyun is. "Sometimes, I'm thinking about the idea of cutting your daily sugar amount just to keep you healthy."

"Says someone who had tons of snacks inside her cabinet," Joohyun rolled her eyes, but still opened when Seungwan fed her with a pancake. 

Seungwan lets out a chuckle from her comeback before taking a bite of the pancake she just made. Her girlfriend shamelessly checked out Joohyun who was sitting at the island in front of her, wearing her oversized t-shirt that barely covered her exposed milky thighs. She ran her eyes from her head down to her exposed toes. "Have I ever told you that you look so good when you wear my outfit?"

"You said that everytime I wear one of your shirts," giggled Joohyun, pulling Seungwan closer by circling her arms around her neck and her slender legs around her waist. She leans forward to line up her syrup-stained lips against her ear. "By the way, I only wear your t-shirt right now, unnie."

The older woman raised her eyebrow in an amused manner as soon as she leaned back to see what kind of expression she was wearing. But Joohyun caught how her eyes darkened in a familiar way that she easily recognized. It's so easy to tease Seungwan, especially after she finds out she has an unnie kink on one steamy night. 

She laughed when she felt her palm grazing her calf, slowly moving up until it slipped underneath her shirt and rested on top of her waist. "Pancake doesn't taste good when it's cold and soggy because of the maple syrup."

"I'm willing to take the risk, unnie," shrugged Joohyun while forming a grin. Her fingers busied themselves by ing the collar of her shirt, exposing the top part of her chest as Joohyun finds out that Seungwan isn't wearing a bra right now. Her grin became wider as she by running her finger on the plane of her smooth skin. "Are you?"

Seungwan didn't say anything to reply to her verbally nor make an effort for it, but she suddenly picked her up and surprised Joohyun from the sudden action. Thank God she was quick enough to prevent herself from falling by clinging on her strong body. She can only laugh from being successful in riling her up ually as Seungwan brought her back to her bedroom to continue the wild and hot activity they did last night.

---

Her girlfriend's first meeting with her roommate might be one of the most interesting moments ever in their relationship.

The scientist brought up the topic when she silently watched Joohyun who was currently texting Seulgi that she will not come home tonight. Her eyes reading the contact name Seulgi wrote on her phone that Joohyun still doesn't bother to change after years. "You know, I never met 'best roommate ever'."

Joohyun blinks from the new fact she just realized after all this time. Seulgi might know who Seungwan is, but they never met face to face at least once. It's also the same situation with Seungwan. She knows Joohyun lives together with her best friend, but Seungwan never met the said best friend even when she often visits her in her shared apartment with Seulgi just to pick her up or lingers for a little while.

She doesn't even know the name of the said best friend slash roommate.

"The name is Seulgi," snorted Joohyun playfully, finding it funny how Seungwan just said the whole contact name Seulgi set for herself inside her phone with such confidence. But then again, she never mentioned her name whenever she talked about Seulgi in front of her. "And yeah, she doesn't particularly like to meet someone new."

Seungwan lets out a hum. She lightly placed her palm on top of her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze to gain her attention. "Do you ever think about the idea to make the two of us meet? Now that I'm being your girlfriend and all?"

With that simple question, it brings them here to this moment.

There is an obvious tension between the two smart scientists that Joohyun couldn't decipher to find out the reason why. She looked at Seulgi to find a sharp gaze on her eyes as she kept staring at Seungwan, pretending to look all scary and protective. While the latter only raised her eyebrow in a questioning and amusing manner as she replied back the gaze in a much calmer tone.

What the hell is happening?

"Say, Seungwan," started Seulgi, being the one who was breaking the ice. Joohyun didn't miss the way she emphasized 'Seungwan' when she said it. "What do you think of the latest Spider-Man movie?"

Is she really being serious right now?

"I like it. I think it's fun," shrugged Seungwan lightly, ignoring Joohyun who was trying to inform her by the look of her eyes that Seulgi is one hundred percent serious with the question she just asked her. Her girlfriend really needed to answer this like she was taking a hard exam in the finals week. "I like how they add a nostalgic spice in the storyline."

"Really?" hums Seulgi, but she squints her eyes more. "Who's your favorite villain in that movie?"

"Dr. Otto Octavius, of course," snorted Seungwan, like it wasn't such an obvious answer already. "It's cool of him to build that machine and control it using your brain. Doesn't it make you think how cool it will be if we have that kind of stuff in real life?"

Seulgi didn't answer for a while, only staring at the older woman—still with the same intensity as earlier—before she broke it down with a light shrug. "You got yourself a good girlfriend, Joohyun."

The mentioned woman can only stare at the two of them back-to-back. There is already a proud grin on Seungwan's face, probably because she passed the impromptu test Seulgi just made for her. While her roommate is back into her expressionless face, busying herself with the dinner Seungwan bought for the three of them to eat.

Joohyun let out a scoff and shook her head in disbelief as she went to the refrigerator to take out a cold beer. "Both of you are weird."

"May I remind you that you are currently dating a theoretical physicist, princess," Seungwan let out a soft chuckle, pulling her by the waist after she came back to her side and bringing along a bottle of beer for her girlfriend. She kisses Joohyun’s ribs to show her adoration towards her beautiful girlfriend. "It's already weird."

"Well, feel free to tell that to the sixteen years old me," snorted Joohyun, turning her chuckle into a laugh because of it. "Maybe it will prevent my naive self from falling in love with you."

Her girlfriend is still laughing from her deadpan response, but she does rise up from the high stool she is currently sitting at just to kiss her lips in an adoring way. As much as Joohyun was annoyed, she still kissed her back and prolonged the kiss that was supposed to be quick. And the kiss brings out an unamused reaction from Seulgi.

"Stop each other's face like that," scoffed Seulgi, taking a sip of her milk that was her beverage for almost every time when she was having her scheduled eating. She only drinks alcohol occasionally. "It's just rubbing salt on my lonely ."

"Go find yourself a girlfriend, then," Joohyun rolled her eyes from her snarky comment, and didn't like how her kiss got cut just because it got a protest from the sole audience. Seungwan only chuckles at their friendly banter that always happens everyday. "Stop watching your beloved TV shows and go out to meet and interact with people. Maybe you can find yourself someone who will accompany your lonely if you do that."

Seulgi lightly snorted from her comeback, choosing to focus on her dinner again. "I'm just watching TV shows back then and you still slept with me."

Joohyun—who was about to pass Seungwan a bottle of cold water—never turned around her head that quick before, she swore she could hear the sound of her bone cracking by how fast she did that. Her eyes look at Seulgi in disbelief while the culprit calmly eats her dinner. "Seulgi!"

Her eyes warily move to look at Seungwan, being fearful over her reaction about the information she intended to never tell her girlfriend because there is no way that thing will happen again. Instead of a jealous or angry emotion, her face was masked by her infamous perplexed expression. Seungwan blinks her eyes repetitively before her face breaks into a suspicious smile, Joohyun can't help but to be alerted by it. "Really? The two of you used to sleep with each other? Interesting."

There is a confused frown formed on Seulgi's forehead. "You didn't tell her that we used to sleep together?"

"Because it was just a one time thing and we both know it won't happen again," hissed Joohyun between her gritted teeth, feeling annoyed because her roommate just opened a Pandora Box. "And stop making it sound like we slept together more than once!"

"Okay, now I'm intrigued with your friendship," smirked Seungwan, actually having fun with this situation. "Tell me more. Tell me how that happened."

The said roommates shared a warning sharp look at each other. There is a thick frown on their face.

"We just wanted to know if we can be more than just roommates."

"It was just a drunken mistake."

They shared a collective gasp as soon as they finished saying it at the same time. The two roommates only stare at each other in disbelief, and don't expect the other one to say it like that. Both of them ignoring Seungwan who was in the middle of this ruckus, seemingly having too much fun with their fights and debates by how there is a wide grin on her face.

"I'm only a mistake to you?" gasped Seulgi in pain, as if she got betrayed.

"Oh, shut up. We decided to do all of that when we were too drunk because of the varsity party and we were both lonely at that time," barked Joohyun in retaliation, still remembering what happened behind the scenes before they both woke up in the morning just to find each other underneath the blanket. She still can’t believe how they were acting shocked and all when they found out until their brains reminded them about their deal. "And we agree it was just a one time thing because the two of us know we are better as friends and roommates."

"Mhm, I heard you," replied Seungwan, knowing clearly that the last sentence was targeted to her instead of the microbiologist. Her eyes glanced at the two women currently standing awkwardly in front of her. Well, it was Joohyun who was purely awkward. Seulgi is still too butthurt that Joohyun only thinks that their night together was just a drunken mistake. "You know, it was harsh of you to say it as a drunken mistake."

"Not you too," whined Joohyun tiredly. She begs Seungwan with her eyes to take back her words but the older woman only flashes her a wide smile. God, she is sure enjoying her time in tormenting her. "Fine. I'm sorry I'm saying it as a drunken mistake."

Seulgi only snorts, but Joohyun knows she accepted her apology because she caught her meekly nodding from her words. She flashed her an apologetic smile before coming to Seulgi to give her bunched up cheek that is full with food a kiss. Seulgi grumbles from the contact, and Joohyun still knows she accepted her kiss because her eyes sparkle a little bit.

It is so easy to read the enigma that is Kang Seulgi.

"Aww, look at you two adorable roommates. Easily making up," cooed Seungwan in a teasing way, and quick enough to escape Joohyun in trying to pinch her waist after the teasing. "Now I need to know something, honey. Who is a better kisser between the two of us? Seulgi or your girlfriend?"

Joohyun paused when she was about to take another bite of her dinner from the sudden question Seungwan threw at her. She can feel her face slowly become warm as her brain turned into a storm instantly just from one question.

Because Seulgi's kissing skill actually topped all of her exes.

The microbiologist might not appear like she will do good in ual and physical stuff, because she never puts her interest in doing so and never shows her interest in it to the people around her, including Joohyun. 

It’s the reason why she was honestly taken aback when she found out that Seulgi is actually a really great kisser, even though they were drunk that time and she needs a long time to remember everything that happens that night. The skill that helps her easily puts Seulgi at the top of the pyramid of the kissing skill hierarchy in Joohyun's life because none of her exes' skills is close to the skill her roommate got.

That is, until Seungwan kissed her, and the pyramid went extinct inside her mind. She is probably being biased right now but who cares.

"Well," Joohyun cleared to gain her composure, and to erase the blush that was slowly filling up her face. "Seulgi's kiss never made my legs really weak and turned into jelly, so you got your answer there."

She ignored the cynical loud scoff coming from Seulgi and a prideful grin of Seungwan as Joohyun turned her back to reach the refrigerator and pull out another bottle of beer. After knowing where the topic has gone in a certain direction for tonight, she needs more than just one bottle of cheap alcohol to help her get through the night.

"Alright," Seungwan nods, still smirking like she won a lottery. "Last one. Who's better in bed? Seulgi or your first love?"

"Seungwan!" screamed Joohyun in embarrassment, already exhausted with this kind of talk and she hates how her body is betraying her once again as she can feel her face becoming much warmer now. She let out a grumble under her breath, knowing how it's too late for her to escape from this conversation. "Seulgi didn't make me yell that loud on the bed, so there you have it."

Sound of loud laughter erupts from her girlfriend’s throat after such a pleasing answer. She ignored her boisterous reaction, and the grumble that came from Seulgi who decided to step away from them in a grumpy manner to go to the couch. “What a good way to destroy my self-confidence.”

“Really, Joohyun? I’m your number one just like that?” asked Seungwan with a mirth in her tone. Another laugh escaped from because Joohyun only threw her a deadpan from the question, refusing to answer it by taking a loud gulp on her beer. She is this close to ditch the cheap alcohol and just drink the whole last bottle of wine she got in her compartment. “If it makes you feel better, you are my number one too.”

“Oh, shut up,” grumbled Joohyun, leaving Seungwan alone on the counter as she goes towards the couch to join Seulgi. She knows the older woman didn’t miss how the tip of her ears turned red because of her words. Joohyun can hear it just from her chuckle alone.

It feels really good to know that you are the number one in the life of someone you love for the whole time. She will never admit that in front of Seungwan, though.

That night, the two of them choose to stay inside her shared apartment with Seulgi. And both of them decided to give nightmares to the latter as they both got greeted in the morning with her murdering glare for disturbing her sleep last night with lewd noises. Thank God the french toast Seungwan made for their breakfast was able to help them escape from the wrath of the Aquarius woman.

Seulgi is one hell of a scary woman when she wakes up, after all.

---

So far, blissful moments are the only things that filled their relationship with good memories she knows they will cherish in the future. But like most relationships too, there are moments when things just went the wrong way.

There is a sound of gentle knock coming from the door. Joohyun—who was in the midst of reading the information about the medicines she will sell this week to a bunch of doctors—let out a deep sigh, knowing that this moment is inevitable to happen soon. “This is your bedroom, Seungwan. Of course you can come in.”

“Hey,” greeted Seungwan softly after she opened the door slightly. She peeked her head nervously to check on her first before entering the bedroom. “I just—can we talk?”

Joohyun looked at her long before she gave her a nod, knowing that it’s the right time for them to have the talk. She scoots over to allow Seungwan to sit beside her on the bed. Joohyun is also pushing away all the materials she needs to learn to put all her focus on her girlfriend.

The bed dips slightly due to the additional weight when Seungwan sits beside her on the edge of the mattress. Seungwan looked conflicted while she was staring at her palm, wanting to hold it but at the same time she didn't know if it was a good idea. Joohyun chooses to help her decide by turning her palm open and shifting it closer to her. Seungwan caught the signal perfectly and immediately held it tight like she didn't want to let her go.

“I know I just did something wrong to you, and I’m sorry for that,” muttered Seungwan in a low voice, almost sounding like a whisper. Joohyun knows she wouldn't have caught it if their surroundings were not as silent as it is right now. “But I need to know what I did wrong.”

She bit her bottom lip, remembering the talk she just did with Seulgi prior to this. “It’s nothing to worry about, Seungwan. I’m okay. I’m just—acting a bit out of it.”

There is a frown formed on Seungwan’s face, clearly disagreeing with the words she just said. The grip on her hand tightened, and she can see determination coming from her hot chocolate orbs. She wanted to end this conversation by knowing what she did wrong. “It’s something to worry about. I need to know what went wrong so I could fix it. Please talk to me about it."

Her eyes tilted down slightly, wanting to avoid her own. Seungwan looks conflicted, currently fighting with herself if she should just say it or not. Joohyun knows the words are already there at the tip of her tongue, but Seungwan was currently contemplating if it would be right to say it. 

And she decided to say it. "I-I don’t want the same reason behind my divorce getting repeated again with you.”

Seungwan told her once about the reason behind her divorce with her ex-partner on a shared lunch when they were still friends back then, before the grand confession happened during her birthday dinner. She told Joohyun how there is this one problem in the middle of their relationship that they ignored until it grew much bigger for them to handle. And the roots originated from the severed communication between the two of them.

That’s why Seungwan always tries so hard to tell her about the things that she likes and the things that she dislikes with Joohyun after they officially become a pair of couples. It’s to prevent the same mistake from being repeated, and to not let Seungwan beat herself up because of it.

Since the divorce took such a huge toll on her emotionally, and she needs such a long time to open her heart for someone new. She doesn’t even know what was the mistake that caused her ex-partner and her to finally agree to put an end to their marriage. Her ex-partner refused to tell her the reason why, and Seungwan is too numb over the pain from her broken heart to ask more.

“Look, it’s not your fault,” admitted Joohyun, silently telling Seungwan to stop blaming herself. “It’s my problem and I just think too much about it.”

“Then tell me so I can help you,” begged Seungwan softly, shifting herself closer to Joohyun as if they weren’t close enough. She held her hand with both of her palms this time, wanting to reassure her that it’s really okay to open up about her problem with Seungwan. “I don’t like to see you like this, to see you juggling with your own problems. Let me help you.”

“But it’s really stupid,” chuckled Joohyun hollowly. Even the words Seulgi gave her earlier doesn’t really help in this matter. “I just think that—maybe I’m not smart enough for you.”

Seungwan blinked several times, trying to process the words she just said to her. Joohyun thought she would laugh, or reacted with something other than a thick frown that screams dislike along with annoyance and she noticed how her gaze hardened. “What are you saying? Who told you that you are not smart enough for me? The scientists back at the get-together? The rich donors?”

“What? No!” exclaimed Joohyun quickly to stop Seungwan in making more false assumptions. “It’s just me, alright? I feel that way when I see you talking with others, and I certainly understand nothing from your conversations.” 

Earlier that day, they were attending a get-together organized by the president of the university with wealthy donors to gather more funds for the university’s program. Seungwan was allowed to bring a date on the get-together, that’s why she asked Joohyun to come along and she said yes. She doesn’t really expect the worst could happen in a gathering that will mostly be filled with overly smart scientists.

Until they started talking with each other.

Either they talk about the research they are currently doing or try to discuss a theory the other scientists just came up with and how it adds a new perspective in physics. The sort of topic Joohyun would never understand and couldn’t join the conversation because of that. And the conversation between the scientists started to make her feel like she doesn’t belong here, standing beside her brilliant girlfriend who is quick to catch up with things like that.

Started to feel like she wasn’t smart enough to be Seungwan’s girlfriend.

“It was just all in your head. You were just thinking too much,” that’s what Seulgi said when she called her an hour ago to tell her roommate about her distress. “It’s just a spur of the moment, Joohyun. You just think like that because you were just there, listening to their conversation without saying anything. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve Seungwan. You're smart in your own way. Seungwan chose you, remember?”

She started to think that maybe Seulgi was right. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment. But she was still unconvinced about it, no matter how hard Seulgi tried to reassure her from the phone.

Because she is not an equal to Seungwan, and she knew that clearly.

“Hey, you are smart too. And I’m saying that not just because I’m used to being your tutor, but because I still see it until now,” reasoned Seungwan, trying to look her in the eyes but Joohyun refused to look back at her. She let out a sigh. “You used to tackle math and win it an hour after I taught you a new equation. And still remembering it and did so well for the test a few months later.”

“Seungwan, that was like—what—twelve years ago,” exasperated Joohyun in weariness. “It’s different now.”

“No, it’s not,” Seungwan shook her head strongly, disagreeing with what she just said. She pointed her head to the discarded material she needs to learn for next week’s sale. “You just got the material you need to remember last night, and now you are already halfway in memorizing it all. The difficult drugs name, what kind of disease it's for, and the side effects. It was all hard, you know? But you did it because you are smart.”

Joohyun slowly raised her eyes to meet her gaze. The gesture immediately got welcomed with a reassuring smile from Seungwan as she picked her hand up and kissed her palm for such a long time. Bursting her heart in the way Joohyun has never felt before, but it wasn’t unwelcomed. 

“For someone who used to whine before learning Biology, you are rather impressive in memorizing all of these,” added Seungwan after she was done kissing her palm and knuckles, fishing a laugh to bubble out from Joohyun. “I understand how it feels to be insecure, to think like we weren’t enough. I have had my shares for thinking like that too. Believe me, living your whole life surrounded by smart and brilliant people sometimes makes you feel like that,” her words made Joohyun chuckle, and it brought a small smile to bloom on Seungwan’s face as she continued. “I know I can’t help you from erasing that kind of thought from your mind permanently, but I will help you when you need someone to tell you that you did good enough.”

One of her hands released the hold they got on her own hand as she felt her thumb brushing the spot near the corner of her eye. Joohyun doesn’t even realize a tear slipped out from her eyelid when the scientist said that. Seungwan tucked a lock of her hair curtaining her face behind her ear to see her girlfriend clearly without anything shielding it.

“You did great, Joohyun,” muttered Seungwan, cupping her face dearly. “Thank you for accompanying me to the get-together today.”

She breaks into a chuckle and lets Seungwan pull her closer as they meet in the middle to share a kiss. The kiss that feels like comfort and hug. The kiss that feels like being wrapped in her favorite blanket while she drinks hot chocolate in the middle of winter. The kiss that feels like being welcomed home after such a long and tiring day.

“Thank you,” whispered Joohyun after they broke the kiss and connected their foreheads. She grabbed her hand that was still there on her cheek. “That means a lot to me.”

“Anytime,” Seungwan smiled lovingly, tilting her head up to kiss her forehead to reassure her that everything will be fine. She is back to grabbing her palm with both of her hands, the soft skin on her knuckles gently. “I just cooked dumpling soup for our dinner tonight. Do you want to eat now?”

Joohyun laughed, and couldn't believe what she just asked. Only Seungwan who is able to swiftly change the topic from serious to if she wants to eat dinner now after saying the things that have been troubling her. But Joohyun gave her a nod, and she let Seungwan pull her out from the bed and walk hand-in-hand as they left her bedroom to eat their dinner together. The heartfelt dinner that warms their stomach and heart for the rest of the night.

Helping Joohyun to be able to forget her problem that has been gnawing at her for the day. Because what truly matters right now is Seungwan and her comforting smile. Nothing else is important.

The fair share of up and down moments inside a relationship is still something she needs to get used to no matter how experienced she is in the world of dating, and it is not unwelcomed. You get to know the new side of your partner along the way, and become closer with her through these things. That is what Joohyun feels when she thinks she knows Seungwan well enough, and the older woman just keeps surprising her in their relationship.

It's already Christmas Eve again. The time when everything turned into a weirder turn last year because of Seungwan, but Joohyun has held the fruit of the result now when she found out the reason behind all of the questionable fiasco is because the scientist likes her back.

Seulgi decided to go home again for this year's Christmas and New Year after her mother yelled at her from the phone, forcing her to come back home since she didn't see her daughter at all for the whole year. The reason behind that is because Seulgi is busy from the research she has been doing. Not a whole lie, Joohyun needs to admit. But her mother totally didn't believe her reason to be just that.

Her phone call with her mother turned into something funny when Mrs. Kang stopped yelling at her daughter just to congratulate her on her new relationship with Seungwan. Joohyun responded with a laugh, ignoring the sour face of Seulgi as she talked with her mother for a little while.

And somehow the phone call reminds her of the time when Joohyun finally introduced Seungwan to her own mother. Not as her former tutor, but as her girlfriend. Seeing how happy her mother is, and how she told Joohyun immediately to come home while bringing Seungwan along with her is enough to let her know that her parents totally approve of their relationship.

Then again, her mother always treated Seungwan like her own daughter more than Joohyun. When they were welcomed with a feast, Joohyun was not surprised to the least.

"My mom treated you as her original daughter more than she treated me," snorted Seulgi in disbelief after she ended the phone call, fishing out another laugh from Joohyun because Mrs. Kang has always favored her out of her own daughter ever since they met each other for the first time back then in the university. Now she knows what it feels like to be Seungwan. "Will you stay here again for Christmas? I know you have Seungwan and all right now, but it is still a welcome if you want to come with me to my home to celebrate Christmas. Mom will be ecstatic to see you."

Joohyun giggles, and didn't miss how Seulgi pointed out 'ecstatic' as if it was written in italic and bold. "I will be here like last year. My parents will go to Bali again and Seungwan already made a plan for us to do this Christmas."

“What? Keeping each other warm in winter by being shirtless?” scorned Seulgi in her usual deadpan. Joohyun can only answer her with a laugh because that thing certainly will happen. “Stop making me disgusted with all your plans. But then again, I should have seen that coming.”

“Yes, you should,” giggled Joohyun, who didn't forget to kiss her roommate’s cheek. “Come on, I will help you pack as an apology.”

Seulgi only grumbles, but she does follow her from behind to start packing her stuff for going back to her home for Christmas. Even Seungwan is the one who drives her to the bus station alongside Joohyun who sits by her side on the shotgun, making Seulgi feel like she was their unofficial child who is finally leaving alone without the accompaniment of her parents for the first time. 

“Aw, look at our daughter, Seungwan,” teased Joohyun while hugging Seungwan’s arm, pretending to be crying on her shoulder. Turns out, Joohyun was listening to Seulgi’s silent grumble on the back seat. Seungwan only laughs from her Oscars-worthy act. “I can’t believe she will leave us today.”

“Shut up,” scowled Seulgi, annoyed with the tease but Joohyun didn’t miss how the tip of her ears turned red because of it. It’s always fun to tease Seulgi. “Don’t you have a dinner appointment to catch?”

“That is for tomorrow night, sweetheart,” Seungwan decided to jump in with the tease. “It’s not yet Christmas Eve, remember?”

This time, Joohyun spotted a small speck of red on her cheeks. The sight that makes her laugh erupts more from her chest, finding this situation funny and entertaining. Turns out, the two of them work so well in tandem if it’s about teasing Seulgi endlessly. “Just go back to your place, damn it! And do not ruin my bedroom with all the shenanigans you plan to do!”

“But sweetie, you just gave us an idea to do that?” Joohyun pokes fun at her, smirking wider when Seulgi slowly realizes her mistake. “Thank you for that.”

She knows how Seulgi is this close to just yelling in frustration in the middle of a bustling bus station. But she holds herself back pretty well, Joohyun needs to give her kudos for that because usually the microbiologist will just throw a tantrum at her. Her roommate only let out an annoyed scoff and turned around to leave the two of them as she entered the bus station to check-in. She ignored the goodbye Joohyun screamed at her because of the act she pulled on her earlier.

“Do you think we too much tonight?” asked Seungwan after Seulgi was gone from their sight.

“You are thinking too much, honey,” dismissed Joohyun lightly, patting her back to signal her that it’s already time for them to leave the bus station. “Nothing bad will happen to us.”

“I told you I don’t believe in any of that,” snorted Seungwan, following Joohyun at the back.

How she was wrong for that.

If Joohyun knew that the cost of teasing Seulgi endless before she went back to her hometown would be this big, then she might be thinking twice before she decided to pull that on her roommate.

The restaurant Seungwan has reserved for them to have their special dinner on Christmas Eve turns out to be one of their busiest times this year. There are a lot of people currently standing in front of them to form a waiting line outside of the restaurant, impatiently waiting for their names to get called while trying to ignore how cold tonight is.

Joohyun is one of those impatient people.

“Do we really need to eat here tonight?” asked Joohyun in a whine, trying to fight back the urge to clatter her teeth because it’s really freezing out here. She already pulled her thick coat closer to prevent any heat from escaping her body. “Let’s just find another place.”

“Come on, let’s just stay for a little while,” Seungwan tried to bargain with her cute pout, the expression that proved to always be a success every time she asked Joohyun to do something she didn’t like. She can never resist that kind of face, and Seungwan used it for her own advantage. “It’s really hard to book a reservation in this restaurant. We are lucky to put our name on the waiting list on Christmas Eve.”

“Fine,” grumbled Joohyun, always being the defeated party. She hugs herself tightly when there is a blow of cold wind passing by them. “But it’s freezing out here.”

“Well, come here, then.”

She turned around to find Seungwan had already opened her long coat, the kind of gesture that looks like she wanted to get a big warm hug from Joohyun. The younger woman let out a sigh. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to keep you warm,” answered Seungwan lightly, still opening her coat wide.

Okay, Joohyun needs to admit, it looks really inviting to hug Seungwan’s perfect figure and receive her body heat to help her fight the raging cold outside. Especially when she always loves it whenever the taller woman hugs her and keeps her close. But doing that means they will show a public display of affection to everyone and Joohyun doesn’t know if she feels comfortable with that. She bit her bottom lip, seriously contemplating this.

Thank God Seungwan made it easy for her to decide when she let out a groan. “Quick, Joohyun. I’m starting to turn into a block of ice just to wait for you.”

Joohyun took a hesitant step forward, before she let herself be engulfed inside Seungwan’s arms. She notices how quickly her girlfriend wraps her arms around her smaller figure as soon as their body touches, and uses her long coat to cover them from the cold temperature. She buried her face inside her shoulder, too shy to raise her head up in case people could see her.

“It’s not like you to feel shy,” whispered Seungwan right beside her ear, knowing that she was currently embarrassed to show her face. She could feel her warm breath caressing her cold skin and it made her shiver from the sensation.

“I’m just not used to this,” muttered Joohyun against her shoulder, still refusing to pull away from her comforting body.

“But it does make you warm, no?” grinned Seungwan against the skin of her temple, totally feeling prideful in the middle of this. Joohyun only laughs at her question, burying herself further inside the crook of her neck to inhale her scent and the perfume she sprayed on her body. She felt Seungwan give a kiss on the side of her head. “Come on. Look at me, please?”

She tilted her head up slowly, finally wanting to reveal her face. Seungwan didn’t waste her time and immediately leaned down to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. The kiss that makes Joohyun laugh first but she is quick to reciprocate it.

Her sweet lips felt warm against her icy pair, caressing it like she doesn’t want her to feel cold. It just feels relieving to receive such a tender kiss from someone she loves. She can feel her face slowly warming up from the affection she gets. She can feel her nerves relaxing inside her hold, and all her apprehensiveness starting to go away.

“Hi,” whispered Seungwan softly after they pulled back. Her warm breath gently hits her lips and a small smile blooms on her face.

“You smell nice tonight,” commented Joohyun, tightening her hug around Seungwan’s waist. Trying to erase all the gaps that might exist when they were already that close. “What’s the occasion?”

“I’m just trying to impress someone special,” answered Seungwan, scrunching her nose in the process. Joohyun couldn’t hold back the urge to tiptoes and kiss the cute wrinkle, fishing for a laugh out of her girlfriend. “Does it make an impression?”

Joohyun formed a thinking expression and prolonged the silence to give her answer, causing Seungwan to become impatient. She showered her face with placing small kisses everywhere, tickling Joohyun and resulting in her serious expression faltering. Both of them no longer care if people currently watch the two of them doing silly things in the middle of public. “It's ticklish, stop it! It does make an impression, okay?”

The culprit only flashes her a wide grin but she ends her charade by planting a long kiss on her forehead. Seungwan pulled her into a tight hug afterwards as she squealed just right beside her ear. “Oh my God, you are so cute!”

“I know, honey, but I couldn’t breathe,” gasped Joohyun playfully, tapping her back to make her stop squeezing the life out of her body.

Seungwan pulls back with a guiltless grin on her face, totally enjoying crushing her small body with such a tight and strong hug by the help of her arms. They only stared at each other’s eyes, allowing the silence to infiltrate their moment. There is only the sound of cars passing by, small commotion coming from the people around them who shared small talks, but it’s still quiet enough for them to only focus on each other.

“You know? Now I understand why people love to do PDAs,” mused Joohyun lightly, who doesn't mind her neck starting to feel pain because she keeps craning her head up just to look at the slightly taller Seungwan. “It does feel nice.”

“Well, you should be liking it. Especially when I keep you warm,” reasoned Seungwan while pointing at their current position. “If you don’t, I might throw a little tantrum.”

Another laugh escaped from , and Joohyun was about to kiss Seungwan again when someone called them.

“Reservation under the name Dr. Son Seungwan?”

“Seriously?” snorted Joohyun in disbelief, untangling herself from Seungwan’s warm body while her girlfriend only laughed at her question. “Dr. Son Seungwan? You reserved our table with a doctorate title on your name?”

“Hey, I worked hard to get that doctorate. Of course I need to flaunt it publicly,” scoffed Seungwan with a hint of smugness inside her voice. Her girlfriend ignored her lighthearted chuckle by holding her hand and led her to go inside the restaurant where a table had waited for their presence.

Ready to serve them with a heartwarming dinner on chilly Christmas Eve.

---

The bedroom is dark and smells like . There are scattered clothes on top of the carpeted floor, getting ignored as soon as they enter Seungwan’s chamber of privacy with the only thing in their mind is to get and get their limbs tangled on her queen size bed.

They are currently lying side by side, facing each other with their bodies only covered by the help of the blanket. There are huge smiles prominent on both of their faces, even though the afterglow of pleasure has passed several minutes ago. No one bothers to break the silence right now, nor closing the gap of their proximities with each other.

It feels nice, staying apart without their skin kissing each other, but still got their eyes on one another.

Joohyun is the one who breaks the calm ambience currently caging them in a sweet moment. Her hand reached out just to tuck a loose strand of Seungwan’s short hair behind her ear, to keep the momentum in having nothing covering her girlfriend’s gorgeous face. The face that she’s willing to fall in love over and over again until her heart aches in a shape only Son Seungwan could heal.

“Sometimes, I still can’t believe this,” muttered Joohyun after pulling her hand back to its original position. Seungwan’s eyebrow raised in a questioning manner, and Joohyun longs to touch it with her thumb. Feeling her slightly bushy hair against her fingertips. “You and I, as us. Seeing you laying down on the other side of the bed. Being woken up with your kisses or your cute face when you were still sleeping. Staring at your back when you were cooking us food. It just feels—unbelievable for me.”

“But I’m here now,” Seungwan murmured back, her eyes still looking into her orbs. “And it’s very real.”

She let out a chuckle, and understood why Seungwan didn’t get this. A frown bloomed on her face because of her laugh. Joohyun immediately reached out again to smooth the wrinkled skin using her thumb. “I have loved you for more than ten years, Seungwan, and the feeling never faltered even once. There are times when I thought it’s impossible to have someone like you liking me back. Especially after the rejection.”

Seungwan didn’t say anything, but she grabbed her hand for her to hold. She places it right before her face and if Seungwan tries to lean forward for an inch, she knows her lips certainly will brush against her skin.

“I don’t even try to make you like me when we meet each other again,” chuckled Joohyun, still remembering how devastated she was when Seungwan told her she still doesn’t want to have a new relationship with someone else after her divorce. “Back then, I just wanted to talk with you again. To have a connection with you as a friend now that you aren't tutoring me anymore.”

A small smile formed on her face, possibly also reminiscing the time in the past where she used to teach her things while Joohyun being her bratty self because she doesn’t ask for a tutor. It was what her mother wanted.

“And then, you started to make me confused with all the advances you did to me,” mused Joohyun, her brain decided to put her in a train of nostalgia for all the frustrating times when she couldn’t read Seungwan at all. The questionable gestures that never fail to make her spiral into dizziness while she tries to sleep at night. “You really make it hard for me to not hope for something more than just being friends. To not fall in love with you more when I was already down bad for you. I am even willing to ditch everything I'm currently doing just because you need me to do something stupid with you.”

She still didn’t say anything, but her thumb started gently caressing her knuckles. Seungwan still keeps her full attention on her, as if she is the most interesting thing in her bedroom.

“That day will probably be my best birthday ever. Well, if we ignore my embarrassing outburst,” Joohyun giggled softly, feeling shy over how she acted in front of her ultimate crush back then. “Kisses never felt like that before. When you kissed me for the first time, I felt like the fireworks we watched at the festival back then suddenly had their second show inside my heart. It was so wonderful, I don’t think I will ever forget it.”

Joohyun softly tugs her hand away from her hold to put it on her cheek, giggling when Seungwan leaned to her touch and kissed her inner palm.

“Thank you, for liking me back. For making me feel like I’m the most wonderful woman in the world,” confessed Joohyun, showing her barest feeling for Seungwan to see. “You have no idea how you are making me so happy just from the thought that you are my girlfriend now. Someone that I can show to the world how you are the best person ever to exist, and I’m crazily lucky to have a place in your heart.”

There is a pull of tug on the string of her heart when Seungwan takes her hand back and interlaces their fingers together. She did that while still looking at her in the eyes, making her chest thump faster. “Thank you for your beautiful words. And thank you for loving me that long. I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for you to wait for me.”

“It’s okay. It was all worth it in the end,” Joohyun shakily chuckles. The intense eyes coming from Seungwan doesn’t help her condition at all. “You finally see that I’m the one who understands you, finally here beside me. It’s more than enough.”

“Stop selling yourself so cheap,” snorted Seungwan jokingly, erupting a laugh from her chest. “You did so many things, including being patient with me when I tried to sort out my feelings for you.” 

“Oh, Seungwan, that was nothing compared to the ten years of loving you in silence and not knowing where you are,” Joohyun whispered softly, shifting closer to the scientist because right now, the gap between them feels too far. “Sometimes I feel like I need to say thank you to Seulgi for making us meet each other again. If it wasn’t for her canceling our weekly outing, we wouldn’t bump into each other that day.”

“And I wouldn’t injure your knee that day,” Seungwan chuckled, her warm breath gently hitting her face in the process. “Thank you too, for wanting to talk with me again. It must be hard for you, considering our last meeting before that was when I rejected you.”

“Yeah, it like a ,” she sighed, only for Seungwan to laugh. “But look at where it took us.”

Seungwan looked at her long, and there was a gentle smile prominent on her face. She slowly leaned forward to kiss her on the lips. Joohyun welcomes her in a warm embrace and the same intensity of their lip-locking. It wasn’t too desperate, it wasn’t too lingering either. It was perfect in its own way, and it made her heart swell into another love for someone who already positioned herself above her.

“Thank you for loving me. For making me feel like I’m worthy enough of love, and for embracing my flaws when I know I am far from perfect but you always make me feel like one,” confessed Seungwan after she broke their kiss, only looking at Joohyun. “I love you, Bae Joohyun.”

Her breath hitched on , like there was a lump blocking them from coming out. She can see how her view slowly becomes blurry because the tears suddenly fill her eyes.

All of that happened just from Seungwan saying ‘I love you’ to her for the first time. Joohyun doesn’t know it feels like this. It feels like there is a whole party filled with the euphoria of love. Butterflies flutter everywhere inside her. Tons of new flowers that look like purple tulips bloomed and made a new garden inside her heart. Just because of the three simple words that sound so wonderful in her ears.

“Say it again,” demanded Joohyun desperately, half whispering. She wants to know this isn’t just a mere dream of hers. This isn’t just her self-made imagination to make her happy. She touched her bottom lip with her thumb. "Please, say it again. I want to hear it."

She smiles widely, there is a slight twitch on her eyebrow from the demand. “I love you.”

As soon as the three words escaped her lips for the second time, Joohyun immediately pulled her into a kiss of relief. The kiss that pays everything off. All the emotional distress, all the confusion about her own feelings and how she needs to be slapped verbally by Seulgi to realize that she only loves Seungwan all this time. 

It’s all worth it.

“I love you too,” murmured Joohyun right on her lips. “Damn, Seungwan, I love you too.”

Seungwan laughed, sounding so beautiful in her ears. They share another kiss until it feels hurt. Until their lungs burn in desperation for air. Both of them locked eyes with each other to count the stars laid rest inside their orbs. Interlacing their fingers until it pains them to let go.

“Another round?” asked Seungwan, her eyes twinkling with hope.

It was Joohyun who laughed this time, but still kissed her first to answer her question with an implied yes. She lets Seungwan love her in her own way, Joohyun will always enjoy it no matter what. As long as their hearts are connected with each other, as long as they belong with each other, nothing else matters.

In the world they both have, it’s enough to never let go.

---

and it's a wrap for this story! finally i completed a story! (lets try to ignore how this fic actually converted from my itzy fics)

by the way, i just want to say that this fic means a lot to me. when i wrote this in like—two years ago i think?—this fic helps me to bring back the joy of writing fics and sharing this piece to everyone. i fell in love with writing again, and to share it to you guys in the form of wenrene and seeing how lots of you also liking this fic means so much more to me. i read all of your comments, all of your reactions, and best believe all of them successfully made my day.

that's why, it will be super great if you guys leave a comment and let me know what you think about this story! if you want to interact with me, you can find me on twitter (just follow, i will accept)! feel free to also buy me a coffee!

i think that's all from me. thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy and like this work, and see you in the next story!