Who else spends Christmas Eve by being alone? No one, only Joohyun. And probably similar losers like herself.

There is only Joohyun inside her shared apartment with Seulgi because the latter needs to get back to her home since her mother is expecting her to show up at their front porch at least once in a year. The microbiologist was too busy with her work during the Lunar New Year and Thanksgiving in trying to make a new drug for the company—and Joohyun—to sell, that’s why her family demanded that she must come back home for Christmas and New Year. 

Seulgi actually asks her to come along, because she knows that Joohyun will spend Christmas alone in the apartment since her family decided to go to a tropical country to celebrate the holiday this year. But Joohyun rejects her offer, saying that it’s Seulgi’s family time and it doesn’t feel right if she was there when they are not family.

“Well, at least I’m offering,” shrugged Seulgi before she bid her goodbye to Joohyun, seeing her roommate for the last time this year. “Don’t forget to call me.”

Joohyun gave her a nod, waving at her as she saw Seulgi descending the stairs while bringing her luggage until she was gone from her view. She let out a sigh, starting to regret her choice in saying no over Seulgi’s invitation. Especially when her family has treated her like Joohyun is their own daughter, and she knows Seulgi’s mother will love it if she comes together with their daughter. 

But still, Christmas is family time. No matter how Joohyun is already being accepted, she’s still the outsider in the Kang family.

Her body lazily lying down on top of the couch. There is nothing fun for her to do on Christmas Eve. All the TV channels are playing the usual Christmas movies like Home Alone—such a jab to her current situation. People are outside, wandering around the pavements as they bought festive stuff that screams holiday. Couples are enjoying Christmas Eve together, doing public displays of affection with their partner without any embarrassment from being too much in front of the public.

And Joohyun is here inside her apartment, acting like a dead corpse.

She let out a loud sigh over her fate in this year’s Christmas. She could have accepted her parents’ request to come with them to Bali, but Joohyun is too lazy to travel somewhere far. That’s why she’s here in her apartment instead of being in the resort her aunt owned together with her family.

With little to no motivation that she has for the rest of the night, Joohyun pulled herself up and forced herself to go outside so she can at least buy takeouts for dinner instead of ordering delivery from her apartment. 

Joohyun takes her coat that she hangs on the hanger beside the door, to make sure that she is warm because it was already snowing outside before she left her apartment and locking the door for safety measures. Her head starts to think about what she should eat for tonight's dinner, trying to come up with something that doesn't come from Seulgi's scheduled takeouts. But she failed to do so, and ended up deciding to buy pizza because tonight is supposed to be their pizza night.

Her legs were just leaving the front complex of her apartment building when she found a certain familiar someone who was leaning their body against the car behind them while scrolling through the content of their phone.

"Seungwan?"

The called person looks up from the screen of her phone, flashing a blinding smile towards Joohyun who was hesitant in walking towards her. Deep inside, she hopes Seungwan doesn’t notice anything weird. "Hey. I was just about to call you to come downstairs."

She bit her bottom lip while the grasp she got on the strap of her purse tightened. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Christmas Eve," pointed out Seungwan, like it wasn't that obvious already. Especially when the pavement they are currently standing at is being decorated with tons of stuff that screams jolly and Christmas. "I was about to ask if you want to go out and have dinner together with me."

Joohyun tilted her head down, staring at the tip of her shoes as tons of questions swarming inside her head right now. All of them are certified negative. "I thought you wanted to have dinner with someone else."

"That was the plan," responded Seungwan without missing a beat. Joohyun can feel her heart suddenly dropping to the ground like it was nothing, like it was not that meaningful at all. She suddenly felt nauseous and was about to leave when Seungwan said something that made her stay rooted on her spot. "Right now, I'm waiting for the answer from that someone else if she wants to have dinner together with me."

Her eyes looked up, finding a small smile carved on Seungwan's beautiful face as she waited patiently for her answer. Joohyun noticed how her cheeks and the tip of her nose turned red due to the cold temperature because they were currently outside. Her brows furrowed in dissatisfaction when she realized how Seungwan barely kept herself warm by only wearing a thick coat, not even a scarf to cover her neck from the freezing weather. She let out a defeated sigh. "Fine. Let's go have dinner."

Seungwan beams widely at her as she opens the shotgun door for Joohyun to enter before she rounds the car to sit on the driver seat. The woman beside her let out a happy hum while starting the engine of her car, making Joohyun curious on why she looks so happy tonight.

Probably not because of her. Joohyun is certain of it.

"Do you have any idea on where you want to eat?" asked Seungwan, taking a slight peek at the woman sitting beside her before she focused her eyes back on the road. Her fingers rhythmically tapped the steering wheel, following the soft melody coming from the radio Joohyun had never heard before .

"I'm fine everywhere," shrugged Joohyun lightly, trying to not look at the gorgeous side of Son Seungwan who was sitting beside her by gazing at the scenery outside from her window. The woman beside her is sparkling with the help of the bright street lamps and colorful Christmas decorations hanging just right above the road, looking like a magical path made by the strands of stars. So bright and twinkling, Santa won't have such a hard time delivering presents to children’s homes.

"Really?" hummed Seungwan, the expression on her face already turned into her signature thinking version. The thrumming of her fingers against the steering wheel has stopped, that means she was currently thinking hard to decide where they were supposed to have their dinner. "I actually don't know either. What should we do in this situation?"

Joohyun actually knows that Seungwan is trying to make a joke with the question, but right now she is not in the mood to laugh nor to have a small and friendly conversation with her. 

Ever since she spotted Seungwan intimately hugging someone from afar, everything about their relationship changed instantly.

It is also the real reason why Joohyun refused to come with her parents to Indonesia. It’s because of this stupid jealousy she currently experienced, caused by none other than her first love. She will forever blame Seungwan for this if her parents are having so much fun spending their holidays in a foreign country.

On the day that feels like a doomsday for Joohyun, she promised Seungwan to meet her as soon as she was done with work at the same cafe where they shared conversation after a long and excruciating ten years for the first time. Joohyun was beyond excited to meet Seungwan that afternoon, she can't wait to tell her about everything that happens with her work. The fact that she was this close to reaching her target number of sales to ensure that she got promoted as soon as she can be, and having a pay raise.

She was about to turn around the last corner when she spotted Seungwan standing in front of a family restaurant. The older woman looked like she was talking with someone—probably her close friend due to how friendly she was being with her and how close their proximity is, even though it is one of her nature. Joohyun was about to call her name and greeted her from afar—maybe having the chance to walk side by side with Seungwan towards the cafe where they are going to spend their afternoon together—when something stopped her midway to do so.

There was Seungwan, being pulled into such a tight hug by another woman, and the angle made her look like she was sharing a kiss with that someone.

The sight made her guts stir in a sickening way, erasing the excitement masking her face with a pained one. Her arm—who was already hovering up in the air to send a signal to Seungwan—slowly moved down to be placed back just right by her body side because of the ache and hurt she is currently feeling. She can feel her heart slowly crumbling and turn into another lump of sand, trying so hard to not choke out her tears while slowly stepping away from the view.

From the sight of Seungwan sharing intimacy with someone else that is not her.

Suddenly, the dark memory from ten years ago comes rushing back into her mind, like a huge wave crashing the shore of a small island. All the permanent scar inside her heart that was made from that moment alone, beats alive by sending her thunders of unbearable sting that makes her senses turn numb. The scar that she thought has healed completely, turns out can bleed more just by a slight push of a dull blade. 

Her view started to become blurry the moment she received a new message coming from Seungwan, telling her that she was already waiting for her in the cafe and asking Joohyun if she wanted the older woman to order her a cup of hot chocolate and a slice of cheesecake. That way, she will not need to wait for her order to come when she arrives there.

Joohyun takes her time in preparing herself to open the chat and reply to Seungwan. She decided to lie to her that she was feeling sick and she feels bad enough to not be able to meet Seungwan this afternoon because of the sudden cancellation.

Even having the thought of meeting Seungwan easily made her want to puke.

She hopes Seungwan will leave her alone after her last chat, even though it was impossible. She knows Seungwan all too well. She knows the older woman will immediately ask her about things, if she is alright and if she wants her to come visit her. If Joohyun already had all the medicines she needs, and if she doesn't, Seungwan willingly would buy it for her.

All of the questions Seungwan sent to her, Joohyun answered it in a short and simple text. Hoping the scientist caught the signal that she doesn't want to talk with her, that she prefers to rest in an indirect way.

A worried 'get well soon' is the last bubble of text in their chatroom. It's been three weeks since the last time they talked with each other. Joohyun didn't bother to make an effort to have a conversation with Seungwan. The latter is not even doing anything to reach out to her, probably got herself busy with her research and that stranger who was hugging and kissing her with so much intimacy.

Until tonight happens. On the night when Joohyun wished for her Christmas Eve to be pretty bearable for her to handle.

But I’m in so deep

You know I’m such a fool for you

You’ve got me wrapped around your finger

Do you have to let it linger?

Why did the stupid radio decide to play this freaking song at this kind of time?

"Is there anything wrong?" asked Seungwan to break the silence after she stopped her car because of the red lights. Joohyun can feel the heavy stares coming from her side, and she tried so hard to ignore it. If Seungwan looks at her better, she will find her fingers clenching tightly on the arm rest. "Is this the wrong time? Are you still sick?"

"No," sighed Joohyun, currently having a debate with herself on what to tell Seungwan. There is no way she will tell her the truth. But it’s also hard for her to come up with a proper alibi in this situation. "I'm-"

Her words stop just like that when she feels a familiar palm suddenly being placed right on top of her forehead. The rough palm that feels warm and she can feel her warmth coursing down through her veins, the familiar warmth that makes her heart throb and beats erratically. Joohyun slowly turned her head to the side only for her to find Seungwan also doing the same thing with her own forehead. There is a thick frown in-between her eyebrows, her lips pursed in such focus.

Those damn lips that look so kissable Joohyun hated herself for even thinking like that.

"You are not sick," muttered Seungwan after she was done comparing their temperatures. The thick frown still exists there. Joohyun was afraid if they remain much longer, the crease will become permanent. "But your face is red."

"I'm alright, okay? It's just because of the stupid red light," grumbled Joohyun, trying to cover up her flustered self with a stupid statement. She hates how she was reacting this much over a little thing Seungwan did to her. It's just a simple one touch of her palm on your forehead, Joohyun. Nothing much, nothing interesting. 

"Alright," sighed Seungwan defeatedly, driving her car again after the light turned green. “If you say so.”

There is only silence for several minutes, none of them bother enough to share a talk. Even with the help of the radio softly playing in the background, it still doesn't help them to dissolve the sudden intensity that shows up between the two of them. She knows Seungwan was holding back in asking her about things now. And she knows Seungwan is currently dying to do it by how tight her grip was on the steering wheel. 

But of course, Joohyun knows it will be happening soon when they get caught in another red light, and Seungwan doesn't poke around the bush to ask the question she has been dying to ask. "Did I do something wrong to you?"

"No," answered Joohyun shortly, trying to appear convincing underneath the sharp glare of Seungwan but of course, she failed.

"You never text me back, Joohyun. The way you texted me the last time we talked sounds like you didn't want to talk with me at all when I was dead worried for you," rambled Seungwan in one breath, confirming Joohyun's suspicion that the older woman did realize she was trying to make a distance between them. "I want to text you but I don't want to get the same answer that lacks enthusiasm in talking with me. That's why I was waiting for you to do it first, but your text never came to me. I don't even know if you will be here for Christmas Eve, I was just trying my luck."

Joohyun bit her bottom lip after Seungwan was done spilling everything she felt for the past weeks. Seungwan only let out another sigh before she focused back on the road, just wandering around the city with no destination in mind because none of it was being made yet.

To be honest, Joohyun does feel bad in ignoring Seungwan and her kindness for reaching out when she felt 'sick' because of her tendency to take care of someone. And it's because of the stupid jealousy and unrequited feelings that just blew up like a volcano when she saw such a romantic scene right before her eyes—the sight of Seungwan hugging someone else that is not her. It's not even her right to feel jealous because she was nobody to Seungwan, and the latter also didn't deserve the cold treatment she gave her when she knew nothing about it.

When she knows nothing about how her ex-student is still deeply, maddeningly in love with her ex-tutor.

"I'm sorry," sighed Joohyun softly, almost like a whisper but she knew Seungwan heard it when her tensed body relaxed a little bit on her seat. "Everything has been hectic lately, especially work. I just got caught up with the world and how busy it is as it revolves around my life. That's why I didn't text you, Seungwan."

She knows the reason was lame. But then again, she was indeed busy for the past few weeks. To prepare for her awaited promotion, she needs to work hard in reaching her target number before the Christmas holiday. That's why she has no time to talk with people, not even Seulgi when they live at the same place. She can only talk with her best friend after everything is done, and the quirky girl immediately made her watch the new season of The Flash together with her in one sitting.

That's when Seulgi also asks if she wants to spend Christmas together with her family instead of being alone in their apartment. But, Joohyun being Joohyun, refused to give her the real reason when Seulgi was demanding it because she said no.

At least, everything is Seungwan's fault.

"Okay, then," sighed Seungwan heavily, with a slight hint of guilt. "I'm sorry that I'm demanding you to talk with me. I just didn't know you were that busy."

"It's okay, you didn't know," chuckled Joohyun, ignoring another bout of Seungwan's heavy stare on her by looking at her fingers placed on her lap. The gaze she is currently receiving from Seungwan right now is the type of gaze that makes her knees tremble and her heart quicken its beating because there are so many things that Joohyun didn't know behind that gaze. The gaze that Joohyun didn't know how to decipher because it held so many emotions and she felt too much to comprehend it like usual. "It's not really your fault."

"Alright, then. Let's just put this behind us now that we have cleared everything," beamed Seungwan, with her enthusiasm rushing back by how she was slapping the steering wheel quite hard earlier. Joohyun knows it stings bad, but she tried to hold back her laugh when Seungwan tried to cover the pain to save her dignity. "So, what should we eat for tonight's dinner?"

"Well, I was about to get pizza-"

"Pizza it is, then!" exclaimed Seungwan, immediately turning around the corner to the nearest pizzeria she knew. Joohyun only laughed at her silly antics, and decided to just put her jealousy and tons of questions at the back of her mind. Trying to enjoy this Christmas Eve she currently shares together with Seungwan.

After all, Seungwan chose to be with her on Christmas Eve.

"God, that was hectic," huffed Seungwan after she parked her car in a secluded park somewhere in the city. She asked how come she knows this place, only for Seungwan to joke that she once kidnapped and murdered her friend who is frustrating and threw them away here, much to her annoyance. The older woman laughs when Joohyun gives her shoulder a hard slap from the joke, before apologizing and telling her that one of her co-workers introduced this place to her. "Why would you want to eat pizza tonight?"

The pizzeria they visited to order a large size of pepperoni pizza was so crowded because tons of families decided to spend their Christmas Eve by eating pizza together. Seeing the lines of people waiting for their food makes Joohyun just want to leave and try to find something far less crowded than this. But Seungwan is a determined woman, and she is not that easy to back down over a huge crowd.

Thus why they finally get to eat their dinner almost two hours later, at an empty park inside Seungwan's car. Joohyun has warned her that her car will smell greasy if they are eating inside her convertible, with Seungwan dismissing her lightly and saying it’s okay.

"Would you rather eat your pizza while freezing to death if we eat outside?" argued Seungwan with her know-it-all voice and her annoying smirk.

She resorts to giving Seungwan a hard pinch on her thigh to teach her a lesson.

"I don't. I just don't know what to eat," shrugged Joohyun, easily opening the box that was filled with slices of large size pizza. She takes one slice of pie and bites a huge size on the sharp tip, almost letting out a moan from how good it was. 

"And pizza is your default?" scoffed Seungwan, also taking a slice of pizza.

"My roommate made a schedule out of this thing, okay? She listed all the things she needs to eat every week—that includes me too—and tonight is supposed to be our pizza night," defended Joohyun, slapping away Seungwan's sneaky hand from taking another slice when she's not even done with her first one yet. "Besides, why put this on me? You also don't know where to eat. And when I tell you to find something else because the restaurant was too crowded, you don't want to leave."

"Well, in my mind, there is only finding out a way of trying to make you come downstairs to enjoy Christmas Eve with me," shrugged Seungwan in the midst of chewing her precious pizza. "And I find the idea of eating pizza for tonight is interesting."

Joohyun let out a scoff, even though her heart beats faster once again because Seungwan just declared to her that she was keen on making Joohyun spend the night with her. For what reason she doesn't really want to know, but nevertheless she loves it. She loves it when she becomes Seungwan's priority like no one deserved enough to spend Christmas Eve with her.

At least, for tonight, let Joohyun feel what she wanted to feel.

"So," starts Seungwan after she is done finishing her first slice of pizza and immediately taking another. The older woman looked like she was really starving tonight and it brought the giggles out from Joohyun because she looks adorable with her puffed cheeks. "Why don't you spend Christmas with your family?"

"They decided to celebrate Christmas in Bali, and I don't feel like traveling that far this year. Although I would love to spend a good time at the beach," answered Joohyun lightly. She wants to also add how it was partially Seungwan's fault in making Joohyun decide to not go with them, but she held it back by biting her tongue. "What about you? Why not spend Christmas with your sister and your niece?"

"She visits her in-law with her husband, I can't just tag along," replied Seungwan who turns out to have the same reason as her in rejecting Seulgi's offer to celebrate Christmas with her family. "I would like to go back to my hometown and visit my parents’ grave but I don't want to drive that far."

Seungwan's parents have passed away ever since she was a high school student because of an accident. That's why she used to tutor high schoolers like Joohyun to help her sister in paying for her college tuition. Joohyun felt sorry when she asked why Seungwan decided to tutor students like her even though the older woman easily brushed it off by saying it was already a long time ago. And maybe that's also why her mother always tries to take care of Seungwan every time she visits their place to tutor Joohyun, by giving her lots of fresh fruits and beverages for her to enjoy.

Until now, her love for fruits and beverages never ends. Joohyun can't help but to find it so endearing when Seungwan's eyes light up everytime she spotted a pack of shine muscat and a bottle of unsweetened tea.

"Well," Joohyun paused for a while to raise her large cup of coke that they bought together with the pizza, "cheers to us. Two loners who decided to spend Christmas Eve together."

The scientist lets out a laugh, before raising her large cup and bumps it against her own cup.

Turns out, eating pizza inside the convertible together with Seungwan, along with the view of the city that sparkles at night because of Christmas, really is not a bad idea. 

There is only the two of them with a box of large pizza, soft melodies of Christmas song being played on the radio as their background, and friendly chatters that occasionally being said to just liven up the mood. Sometimes there's a laugh being thrown over a stupid joke Seungwan just said, or friendly teasing they usually do to each other like it was their habit to do so and it would be weird if they didn't do it at least once whenever they are spending time with each other.

Everything turns into normal. Everything turns into something that doesn't feel wrong if they can continue doing this. Everything turns into something special and Joohyun doesn't want it to change.

Joohyun wants this forever. She wants to be the one who will mostly sit in the shotgun seat of Seungwan's car. She wants to be the one who always makes Seungwan laugh until a dimple shows up on her cheek. She wants to be the one who can always tease Seungwan and the latter will back like it was what they were supposed to do.

She wants her so badly, her heart started to ache right in the hole that was shaped like Seungwan. Waiting to be occupied.

"Are you still in the mood for some fun?" asked Seungwan as they swiftly entered the busy part of the city once again after enjoying their Christmas dinner and leaving the empty park. 

They already finished their large pie of pepperoni pizza over two large cups of coke and bouts of laughter. Seungwan was about to just drive after they were done eating, and didn't really care over her greasy fingers if only Joohyun didn't stop her. Thank God she got a pack of wet tissue she brought along with her, patiently cleaning the dirty fingertips until the grease was gone.

"Your steering wheel will get oily if you drive with your hands dirty like this," sighed Joohyun as she wiped her fingers with her wet tissue thoroughly, the tone in her voice sounds like a mom scolding their child.

The younger woman totally didn't realize the way Seungwan currently looked at her as she just let Joohyun do her thing. "I ran out of napkins. What do you want me to do?"

"Ask me for some?" pointed out Joohyun, like it wasn't the most obvious thing ever. She gives her fingers another wipe before pushing it back towards Seungwan. "There. We are all done. Now you can drive without making your car dirty because you were reckless."

Joohyun looks up with a smile, only for her to stop midway when she locks her eyes with Seungwan. Her warm eyes speak volume, but Joohyun still couldn't read the meaning behind the heavy gaze she currently gave her. The same gaze that makes her breath hitched for being overwhelmed, and the butterflies inside her flutters like they were having such a wonderful field day. 

A cough she let out to break the tension that felt foreign for her to share it with Seungwan. A second late to realize she was still holding her wrist before letting it go abruptly in such a messy way. "L-let's just go."

Seungwan blinked once before she broke into a chuckle that sounded so attractive to her ears. Joohyun can feel her face heating up because of that, and feel how unfair it was because it’s only her who is going through things like this when Seungwan can be so casual after everything that just happened seconds ago as she starts her car and leaves the park to make it empty once again.

"Why? You wanted to go somewhere?" asked Joohyun, taking a glimpse of driving Seungwan beside her only for her to gulp the clot suddenly forming in because Seungwan looks sparkling and super gorgeous right now from the help of the street decoration.

"I was thinking if you want to spend your time with me tonight in an arcade," offered Seungwan, flashing her a smile before she focused back on the road. The smile that makes her heart skip a beat, and a soft blush adorning her cheeks. "It's still Christmas Eve. I'm not really in the mood to visit pubs, but I also don't want this night to end yet. What do you think?"

What does she think? Joohyun also doesn't want this night to end yet. Hell, she never wants this to end. "Sure, why not? Let's indulge you with stupid child game that you are very fond of."

"Playing in an arcade is not stupid," scoffed Seungwan, taking a turn to the right as she brought them towards this said arcade that she wants to show Joohyun and play with her. She flashed her a teasing smirk. "I bet you just lost too many times while playing this."

Joohyun rolled her eyes from the teasing, and didn't give the luxury of affirming it to Seungwan as she refused to answer. By the laugh Seungwan chortles out, she knows the scientist knows.

Playing in an arcade was never this fun before. 

Maybe it's because she got to play it when she was already an adult. All the accumulated stress coming from life, work, and her romance world got erased as soon as she was playing a game where she needed to beat a crocodile toy as much as she could. Even though she doesn't get lots of tickets from playing it to be exchanged with a gift, it's still such a lot of fun.

Or maybe it's because the arcade wasn't as crowded as she thought it would be. There's only the two of them, and several couples scattered across the game machine. Spending their time together with the people they love by having fun with each other in doing something that is so simple and meaningful.

To see Seungwan's determined face in trying to shoot the basketball straight to the basket, and Joohyun trying so hard to not stare on her flexed bicep and the way her sweat ily falling down from her forehead down to her jaw by following the line of her face. To see Seungwan moving across the dance machine, stepping the buttons in such a quick movement it looks like she was becoming one with the game. To hear Seungwan cheering for her when she tried to pass Luigi while driving her Mario Kart like a Formula One driver, and screams in unison when she finished first after the last lap.

It was so magnificent. There are no words that could explain how happy Joohyun currently is whenever she is with Seungwan.

"Oh, what a shame!" teased Seungwan when she failed to grab a teddy bear using the claw for the third time in a row. She ignored Joohyun when she flicked her annoyed eyes to her because of the mocking. "That was so close."

"Shut up, smartass," grumbled Joohyun in exasperation as she tried to pinch Seungwan's waist only for the latter to swiftly move to the side, evading her attack perfectly. Seungwan laughs more because of that, and it doesn't help with the frustration currently building inside her. "This game is so stupid. Let's just stop."

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down, princess. I haven't had my round yet," Seungwan giggles, swiftly taking the spot where Joohyun was standing before while the latter was trying so hard to not be affected by the pet name Seungwan just gave her out of spontaneity. She watches her getting ready in front of the claw machine. There is a clear determination masking her eyes and expression. “Okay, I’m ready. What do you want me to get?”

Joohyun tiptoes as she scans the stuff that were scattered inside the claw machine. She almost tells Seungwan to just get whatever stuffed toy she wanted to get when her eyes land on the cutest stuffed toy she has ever seen. “There. The round and purple one.”

“Alright. One order of stuffed toys ready to be delivered,” exclaimed Seungwan in the silliest way, like it was the most important thing a scientist could do for this world. Joohyun only let out a laugh from her ridiculous remarks, and watched the older woman do her thing as she moved the claw towards where the said stuffed toy she wanted is located. Seungwan—being the perfectionist that she is—is determined to make sure that the claw position is exactly right above the stuffed toy. She leaned forward to see if the position was already perfect for her to get the toy. “Ready?”

“Yup,” smirked Joohyun, knowing that it was almost impossible for Seungwan to get that toy just in one try.

The same smirk plastered on her face as Seungwan pushed the button to make the claw go down to grab the stuffed toy Joohyun wanted. Both of them didn’t let out any voice as they watched the claw do its thing. Their breath hitched when the claw finally reached the toy, and the smirk on Joohyun’s face grew bigger when it looked like the machine would fail to grab the stuffed toy she wanted.

Of course, the impossible happens. The claw probably failed in grabbing the whole body of the toy, but it successfully grabbed the leg part and easily brought it to the hole where they would receive the stuffed toy as theirs.

There’s only a sound of Seungwan’s overproud laughter and an expression of disbelief from Joohyun reflected in front of the transparent wall of the claw machine right now. Such a huge contrast of appearance over a simple stuffed toy they could easily buy from a stall rather than doing something as useless as this game. At least for Joohyun.

“See? I told you I could get it,” remarked Seungwan with her smug voice as they watched the claw drop the toy into the hole. 

“I played this game three times before it’s your turn,” scoffed Joohyun, finding it unbelievable how the damned claw machine just betrayed all of her effort in a flash. Seungwan ignored her butthurt tantrum by whistling a happy tune and bending her body forward to retrieve the prize she just got. “This machine is rigged.”

“It’s not rigged. You're just having bad luck,” reasoned Seungwan over the nonsense Joohyun just said. She laughed when she looked at the sore expression and the deep pout currently masking her expression. “Here, for you.”

Her sour face turned into a perplexed as Joohyun blinked repetitively when Seungwan gave her the stuffed toy she just won. “But, you won this.”

“Yeah, and you wanted me to get that toy,” Seungwan reasoned, along with a soft smile on her face. Erasing every smug that existed on her expression before. Joohyun frowned from what she just did, thinking that it wasn’t right if Seungwan gave something that she worked for just like that to her. She was about to give her rebuttal when the scientist shut her up by ruffling her hair gently, and tucking the loose strand framing her face behind her ear. “Keep it well for me, okay?”

Everything suddenly went into a pause at that moment. Her surroundings turned into a blur, there was only Seungwan in front of her. Son Seungwan stood in front of her with that attractive soft smile of hers, looking straight into her hazel to let her know that she meant it.

She meant everything that was being told from her gaze, and Joohyun is too starstruck to even decipher what it was. She was too caught up from the sudden gesture Seungwan just gave to her, the unexpected action that makes her heart burst like a firework in the night sky. That makes all kinds of flowers exist in this world bloomed inside her heart, and the butterflies flutter above the petals like they were having the most sentimental dance. Like a different color suddenly entered her world, and she embraced the feeling of being allowed to enter into Seungwan’s world.

Joohyun didn’t leave her car immediately as soon as they arrived in front of her apartment complex, and it seems like Seungwan doesn’t want her to leave yet. They didn’t say anything as the clock ticked, as the world kept moving in doing what they did. 

They only sit there, looking at each other’s eyes, saying tons of words with silent gaze and meaningful smiles plastered on their face.

“Thank you for tonight, and for the toy too,” started Joohyun after she found her senses back, realizing how she stopped breathing in the midst of the sweet intimacy shared by the two of them. Her lips can’t help but to smile wider when Seungwan did it first. “I really enjoyed it.”

“Me too,” replied Seungwan, her eyes still looking deep into her own pair. “Merry Christmas, Joohyun.”

“Merry Christmas, Seungwan,” muttered Joohyun softly as the sudden urge to hug Seungwan before she leaves shows up inside her heart. She tried to hold it back as much as she could, yet she failed to do so and resorted to giving her palm a tight grip before she left her car to go back to her place. 

She stood on the side pavement to give Seungwan one last wave of goodbye for the night before she left her apartment complex to go back to her own place. The smile was still carved on her face as Joohyun ascended the stairs. Not even three-stories worth of stairs could erase her smile from her lips. A loud squeal she let out as soon as she was inside the apartment she shares with Seulgi, can’t believe what just happened between Seungwan and her tonight.

That night, Joohyun slept soundly while cuddling the toy Seungwan just won from the claw machine close to her heart. The smile never left her face, as she dreamed of a life together with Seungwan that could last forever if she wished to never wake up.

---

“Can I really trust you in this?” asked Seungwan, heavy in suspicion.

“Of course,” snorted Joohyun as she unpack the stuff they just bought inside the grocery bag on top of Seungwan’s counter. All the ingredients she needs to make a perfect three stack of strawberry cream cake are already laid across the marble top. “I know I told you once that my cooking skill is basic. But my baking skill is not that bad.”

Earlier in the day, Seungwan told her that tonight the university will have a farewell party for their influential professor who decided to retire this week. All the researchers agreed to bring something other than a gift for the party, and she asked for her input on what she should bring together with her. And that’s when Joohyun came along with an idea to bake her own celebratory cake rather than buying it from the store. 

That's why it brings her here, inside Seungwan's apartment, ready to bake some cake for someone whom she doesn't really know the existence of.

"Is it really okay for you to take time off from your job just like that?" frowned Seungwan, being in disagreement with Joohyun's decision to just ditch her today's appointment with a doctor to promote her drugs for them to use and give to their patient because she was asking her help in baking a cake. When Joohyun is willing to ignore everything if Seungwan asks for her help. "I don't feel like it's a good idea."

"Unlike scientists, doctors are easy for me to sell drugs," answered Joohyun lightly as her smirk bloomed when her face grew sour from her remarks. "I can just show up at their office, wearing my y working attire, and I will be accepted back into their room."

Her face darkened because of the last sentence. "You have a y working attire for you to wear at work?"

"Seungwan, sales is about how well you promote and how well you seduce doctors in trying to make them foolish enough to buy the drugs you are selling," explained Joohyun in the midst of sorting the ingredient, separating the wet and the dry one to make it easier for her to operate. "If I need to make a point with that by using how attractive I appear in front of their eyes, let it be. It's not like I did it every time I was promoting what my company produces. I only did that in a dire time when I really needed to be one."

Seungwan squinted her eyes in distaste, but decided to ignore her last sentences by asking her another question. Joohyun never saw her being this distressed before over a gift. "Do you even know the recipe to bake cake? That professor is really someone with a lot of reputation in the university. I can't ruin his farewell party with something as simple as a failed self-bake cake."

"Seungwan, I have a lot of experience in baking. And there are a lot of cake recipes scattered on the internet. Trust me on this," Joohyun rolled her eyes as she tried to find the mixer and a clean bowl for her to put the mixture in to make a cake. Seungwan helped her by opening the cabinet door where she stores the stuff needed to bake a cake and placing it on top of her island. "My roommate always asks me to bake her a batch of cookies everytime she wants one. I know what I'm doing."

"Those were cookies. This is cake," scoffed the scientist, still being pessimistic. "Even the name is different."

"Rather than you being sour and all whiny like a baby, why don't you help me in measuring and weighing the dry ingredients?" deadpanned Joohyun, already tired with the negative energy exuding from Seungwan. The latter couldn't even say no when Joohyun started to push all the dry ingredients she needed to measure its weight towards her. Seungwan pouted deeply when she got tasked with a new duty, but still accepted the bowl Joohyun gave her to put all the dry ingredients inside after she was done measuring it. 

The negativity soon dissipated when Seungwan decided to focus on her task. Joohyun glanced away from her own task in breaking the eggs and separating the white and the yolk, watching Seungwan being so careful in measuring the flour because she doesn't want any grain to spill out and make her counter dirty. She let out a soft giggle from the cute sight of serious Seungwan, from the thick frown between her eyebrows and the deep pout she made with the help of her lips. Everything looks adorable in her eyes and Joohyun needs to pinch herself to stop watching the scientist doing her task.

She can't let any of the egg shells enter the wet mixture she is currently preparing, or Seungwan will immediately abort the plan of baking her own cake.

So this is what it feels like to cook together with someone you love, someone you put your actual feelings and emotion to. Joohyun actually wasn't a stranger with this one activity, considering how she did this often with her ex who was a cook in a nice restaurant she used to visit with Seulgi years ago. That's how she met her ex too, when Seulgi complained about how her soup tastes saltier than usual and she doesn't like the change in her food.

Joohyun still remembers how her ex didn't really like Seulgi that much, and how relieved Seulgi was when she learned that her roommate has broken up with the chef who can't even be consistent with her own cooking.

But when she did this together with Seungwan, somehow it felt different. 

It feels like something that sounds right and deserves to be done forever. It feels like they can make a new habit by doing something as mundane as cooking together, standing side by side in the small space between the island and the kitchen. It feels like they were born to do things as a pair, to do the domestic stuff that couples do by getting attached hip by hip.

And it's dangerous for Joohyun to feel more for something as simple as baking together with Seungwan, because she shouldn't allow herself to hope for more. To hope for something that sounds impossible to happen.

Yet nowadays, everything started to become confusing.

She is no stranger in the act of courtesy. Joohyun is often the recipient of romance, by having lots of people trying to hit on her and making her their girlfriend. 

There were also times when she was the one who fell first—the alive and real proof being Seungwan—but it happens so rarely that Joohyun started to pick up on the sign about people silently telling you that they like you more than just the connection they currently have with her.

Joohyun can see it from the way their touches started to stay a second longer just to remain in physical contact with her. 

When they say that eyes can speak volumes, Joohyun believes that because she can read what people think of her and what they want her to be in their life just from a simple gaze shooting out from their eyes. 

It’s how they become so painfully aware of everything she did, and try so hard in picking up the smallest thing to impress her on their way to win her heart. It’s from how they treated Joohyun like she was as fragile as a glass, they became acutely careful in the way they acted in front of her because they were afraid she would get hurt.

All those acts that could be written in a playbook titled 'How to Woo A Girl You Like for Dummies', and Joohyun believes she will be a national best-seller writer if she indeed writes that.

But everything Seungwan did to her so far, she can never read her gesture as clearly as she read the gesture of the rest of her past lovers.

She doesn't know when the changes in the way Seungwan treats her has started, when things started to become obvious but she can't ever understand any of them. She doesn't know when Seungwan suddenly becomes so dependent on her, they almost meet each other everyday if only there isn't life in-between them. They even spend Christmas and New Year together. She doesn't know when Seungwan values her opinion so much, it feels like it was Joohyun who made the life decision for her instead of herself. She doesn't know when Seungwan started to become physical with her by always giving a fleeting gesture towards Joohyun that never lasted for more than a few seconds but successfully made her heart thump at a light-speed pace. 

More importantly, she doesn't know when Seungwan started to look at her with so much meaning and untold words inside her gaze, yet Joohyun could never read it. She could never find out what was hidden behind those hot chocolate orbs of hers that made her soul tingle in longing for wanting to have Seungwan by her side permanently.

Everything starts to become confusing, and Joohyun doesn't know what to do. All she knows, whenever Seungwan asks for her presence, Joohyun will come to her side.

Everytime.

"Spicy rice cakes have arrived!" announced Seungwan from the front door after she retrieved the food the delivery guy just brought to them. Joohyun was just done putting all the batch of cake inside the oven when Seungwan arrived in the kitchen, putting a huge bowl of spicy rice cakes on top of the counter. "Let's have lunch."

Joohyun chuckles when she sees the childish excitement covering her face as she opens the spicy rice cakes she just ordered for them to enjoy. She washed her hands first to remove all the dirt from making a cake sticking on her fingers before she started to dig in the spicy rice cakes while Seungwan already did it several seconds ahead of her. "For someone whose job was just measuring the dry ingredients, you surely look tired."

Seungwan flicked her eyes to send a warning to Joohyun before she continued eating her fried shrimp, while the latter laughed after giving her a nice tease.

"Measuring is hard, okay? Especially something as troublesome as flour, baking powder, and everything that is powdery and is annoying," defended Seungwan, even though she knew Joohyun wouldn't listen to whatever reason she was coming up with to save her dignity in front of the younger girl. She knew Joohyun was only having fun with her misery. "You need to focus because measuring the weight of something like flour needs perfection. What could happen if I accidentally put one gram heavier in the flour I just measured?"

"I don't know, bigger cake?" shrugged Joohyun, like the thing they were currently doing right now is not important for the future of Seungwan's career as an established scientist in the university. "Calm down, Seungwan. People will love the cake, the retired professor too. I also made a batch for us to taste. You can judge my baking skill from that cake, how about that?"

She looks like she was contemplating so hard over the tempting offer, which is annoying because Seungwan can eat any free dessert given by anyone. She was just being like that because she wants to . "Fine, as long as it's free."

Joohyun rolled her eyes because of how childish Seungwan is currently acting right now. She never saw her being in this state of panic before. That means—whoever that professor is—must be such a well respected figure in the university that could make the great and smart Son Seungwan tremble on her own legs. And Seungwan has the tendency to impress others, to make people fall in love with her by trying so hard in sugar coating them to win their side for her own favor.

It was a sneaky way, and also having a dangerous side effect, because right now Joohyun is still stuck in being in love with Seungwan even though it's already been more than a decade since her feelings started to bloom.

"Why do I need to do this?" Seungwan lets out a grumble as she folds the short sleeve of her black t-shirt until it reaches her shoulder. Her eyes were blazing with fire of agitation, looking at the poor fresh cream inside the bowl, waiting to be whisked. "When I thought we will only wait for the cake to bake into perfection by doing nothing."

"Because you are annoying and you keep disturbing me in the midst of me baking your cake," Joohyun pointed out her behavior for the past hours, igniting an eye roll from Seungwan. She tried so hard to not drool on the y sight currently being presented in front of her. The sight of sweaty Son Seungwan with exposed biceps, currently trying so hard to make the liquid fresh cream thickens by whisking it with her hand. "And you deserve to do this labor."

"You are just cruel and evil," pouted Seungwan who was starting to whisk the fresh cream. Joohyun lets herself enjoy the hot and interesting view the older woman gave her for free before she checks on the cake inside the oven. "I have the mixer to do this."

"Yeah, and I want to save the planet by using bio-technology. And, you know what they say. Hand-whisked cream tasted much better than the one that uses a machine," Joohyun grins while she pats Seungwan's strong shoulder to give her the support she needed in whisking the cream. Her palm was dying to linger much longer above her shoulder blade, wanting to feel all the muscle forming the perfection that is Seungwan's wide back. But she needs to hold it back because right now, the cake needs her attention. "Just shut up and do your job."

"It was more fun when I said that to you in the midst of our tutoring," huffed Seungwan, already feeling tired when she barely began whisking the fresh cream for three minutes. The older woman is barely working out in her everyday life, after all. Yet, somehow, how she could gain all the y muscles in her arms and shoulders will remain such a big mystery for Joohyun to solve someday. "Now I know why you always get annoyed every time I say that."

"Revenge is a pain in the ," giggled Joohyun as she put the fresh batch of cake on top of the marbled counter Seungwan owns. She pokes the center of the cake using the chopstick to see if the batter has cooked through, and lets out a hum of satisfaction when she finds nothing sticking on the wooden stick. "Now we just need to let it cool down before we cover it in cream and strawberries."

Seungwan sent her a sharp glare when she realized that all Joohyun will do now is to just wait for her until she is done whisking the fresh cream she got tasked with. She let out a long string of low grumbles under her breath, getting annoyed by how relaxed Joohyun is, who chose to lean back against the counter beside Seungwan and watch her do her job. If only there was a bowl of popcorn currently being held inside her arm, it would be such a perfect setting for Joohyun. 

If baking with Seungwan means that she will get served with this kind of view everytime they do it together, then Joohyun will always volunteer to do so because she will not miss this even for once. 

The sight of Seungwan sweating while she was wearing comfortable clothes in her favorite color? The sight of Seungwan exposing her bicep and the way that strong wide shoulders tensed because of the work of labor she is currently doing? The thick frown on her forehead because she was too immersed with what she is currently doing? Even though sometimes she will let out a small noise of protest and grumble since it tiring her out?

She will never want to miss that. 

How come her ex-partner even had the audacity to think about divorcing thee Son Seungwan when she looked gorgeous like this?

"Look at you, my brilliant pupil," praised Joohyun as she checked the result of Seungwan's labor by testing the thickness of the fresh cream, turning over the bowl to see if they would spill and found none of them dirtying her counter. "What a perfect result."

Seungwan only let out a deep sigh, too tired to even reply back to the tease Joohyun just threw at her after minutes of non-stop whisking the cream using both of her arms. She lets out a laugh from the poor, sweaty sight of her love interest. Joohyun is already giving her a towel for her to wipe away all those sweats that covered her face and her arms as she gets a jar of sugar to be sprinkled on the thickened fresh cream to add the sweet taste. 

"Wow. You really did great at this," awed Joohyun, checking the consistency of the cream as she gave it a mix to combine with the added sugar.

"Thanks," answered Seungwan with a rough voice, without any hint of honest and real thank you behind it as she went towards the refrigerator to fetch a bottle of cold water she owns and chugging it all down in one gulp. She knows Seungwan is too tired to even think about a good comeback and seeing how well Joohyun is whisking the thickened cream annoys her because that younger woman can do it much faster than her. "I will never disturb you again in baking after this."

"You learned your lesson," smirked Joohyun, scooping some of the fresh cream from the bowl using the whisk Seungwan just used. She the cream that was sticking on the surface of the whisk by gathering some of them with her finger, before letting out a hum of honest surprise. "This cream tasted really good and sweet! Do you want to try it? I think you need to try this!"

Joohyun was too occupied in all the cream off from the whisk, making her not realize the way Seungwan looked at her fondly from the way she acts like an excited child right now. It’s from how there is a small smile on her face as she lets out a soft chuckle from the sight in front of her. She was about to ask Seungwan once again if she wanted to try it when the older woman beat her to it and made her freeze on her spot. 

Because Seungwan just wiped the cream that she didn't know existed at the corner of her lips using her thumb, and casually brought it into for her to taste.

"Yeah, it's really good and sweet," commented Seungwan, the pair of her hot chocolate eyes still fixated on her. "Just like what you said."

She was unable to breathe ever since Seungwan reached out to touch her with her thumb. Joohyun can only stand in front of her, all dumbstruck with her eyes open as wide as saucers. She can feel her heart picking up its beat in a steady way. She can feel the euphoric feeling coursing through her veins because the spark has just been ignited by a simple physical contact. Joohyun can feel the blush slowly crawling from the base of her neck up to her head and color her face with red like a ripe tomato.

Most of all, she can feel something behind the stare Seungwan gave her, and it's annoying how she still couldn't read at least a sentence out of the open book.

A cough she let out to clear and to help her get a grip of herself after being flustered because of what Seungwan just did to her. Her eyes looked everywhere to see if there is something she can work on while waiting for the cake to fully cool, also to avoid the intense gaze Seungwan still gives her since it makes her body tingles in want and something more and Joohyun didn't like that to one bit. She almost gave up when she remembered that there was still a box of strawberries that needed to be washed and cut into pieces. 

"I-I guess I need to take care of the strawberries now," stuttered Joohyun, cursing at herself for being so weak over an easy act like that. She can see from the corner of her eyes how Seungwan found it funny that she became this flustered version of her, with a chuckle decorating her smile. "Just go rest."

"You sure? I still can help," asked Seungwan, trying to make her sure with her decision while she helped Joohyun in opening the box of strawberries.

"It's really okay. You did much already," assured Joohyun, trying to flash her a convincing smile that she can do this alone. Seungwan didn't leave her alone immediately though, trying to make her falter with her own decision by keeping her heavy stares on her back as Joohyun already began washing the fresh strawberries. 

She heard her let out a sigh and a small okay, before leaving her alone to do her job in cutting the strawberries.

Joohyun is the one who let out a heavy sigh as soon as Seungwan left her alone in the kitchen. She tried so hard to not think too much about what just happened earlier. About why Seungwan thought it was a good idea to taste the cream from the one that exists at the corner of her lips. 

But Joohyun can't help thinking about it. She can't help to find it weird because she knows even though Seungwan is a person who cares a lot, something as intimate as wiping the stain off on someone's corner lips doesn't count as an act of care. She can feel her heart swell from an injection of hope Joohyun got from that action, yet she also doesn't want to fly much higher from the ground. 

Because she knows how hurt it is to free fall when no one is going to catch you. And she doesn't want to repeat that for the second time.

"So, what do you think?" Joohyun asked after she was done crafting the test cake. Her eyes patiently watch Seungwan cutting the perfectly assembled cake for her to try. She almost rolled her eyes when the older woman decided to be dramatic by cutting the cake using her fork at a much longer pace.

Seungwan didn't say anything as she tasted the cake that is now inside , but her expression screams volume. Joohyun raised her eyebrow in amusement when she noticed how Seungwan tried so hard in covering her real expression with her trademark deep frown plastered on her forehead when her eyes screamed differently. When her eyes spark and twinkle like a child excited to finally get their first ice cream of the day.

"It was nice," that's what left Seungwan's mouth, and Joohyun scoffed from the half-hearted comment.

"Oh, come on, stop lying," dismissed Joohyun, already knowing it was all an act from Seungwan, just to play with her. "I know you like it."

She looked at her long with that pretending blank stare of her. Seungwan slowly moved her jaw to make it more dramatic by suddenly being a whole food critic in tasting the cake Joohyun just made. Joohyun only needs another raise of her eyebrow to make a point, and to make Seungwan break out from her act. "Okay, fine. Who am I lying? This is really good."

"See? I told you I can bake a cake," grinned Joohyun smugly, tilting her head up and crossing her arms to force Seungwan to give the younger woman her deserved praise.

"Yeah, you are great at baking. As a scientist, I need to admit the truth after the evidence is being laid before me," joked Seungwan as she got another bite of her cake, seemingly can't stop eating it. Joohyun felt a surge of pride swelling her heart in a feeling that she can't hold back anymore. She feels so happy to know that Seungwan genuinely likes what she just made and is actually enjoying it. "It would be better if I can keep the whole cake to myself rather than bringing it with me to the farewell party."

"You can always ask me if you want me to bake you a cake," stated Joohyun lightly while taking a bottle of cold water from Seungwan's refrigerator and pouring it inside a mug for her to drink. And once again, she is being painfully unaware of the effects from the words she just said to Seungwan as she clenched the thirst in . "I will make you one."

Joohyun blinked in confusion when she found a perplexed expression masking her face after she turned to look at her. 

The eyes that are unrecognizable for her to decipher have come back to cloud her hot chocolate orbs, dying for Joohyun to read through it but she always failed to do so. She is also dying in wanting to know what Seungwan is currently thinking, what she does have in mind whenever she looks at Joohyun in that way. The way that kind of gaze always turned her legs into jelly by how heavy it was and making her heart thrums loudly underneath her ribcage.

"Thank you for today," muttered Seungwan to break the silence they shared for a minute, to break an unspeakable tension that exists between them. "I really appreciate it that you come here to help me prepare for something I should bring to the farewell party."

"You're welcome," Joohyun nodded, trying to not sound like she was trembling and the appreciation affecting her to no end. She broke the intense eye contact she had with Seungwan to take a peek at her wristwatch, letting out an inwardly groan that it's already time for her to go back to her shared apartment with Seulgi. "I guess I need to go home now. It's already five and I promised my roommate that we will have a marathon of Doctor Who tonight."

"I'm impressed how your roommate always makes you do the impossible I never thought you would," chuckled Seungwan while she let Joohyun pack her things back into her purse. She only rolled her eyes from the underlined comment. "I should drive you home."

"No need. I drove my company's car to come here," Joohyun replies, showing her the car key to make her point. "Thank you for today, Seungwan. I really appreciate it."

Seungwan only flashed her a smile as she followed her to the front door and let her take her time in wearing her heels in silence. Sometimes there's a chuckle here and there because Joohyun was a bit struggling to wear it and almost made herself an embarrassment in front of her first love, but thank God her body balance was quite good to prevent that. She is about to leave her place and bids her last goodbye when Seungwan grabs her wrist and almost erases all the gap that exists between them.

They are so close to the point Joohyun can still smell the faint scent of her white musk perfume that Seungwan sprays on her body today. They are so close to the point Joohyun can pick up a hint of strawberry cream cake smell coming off from , and how her lips were glossy from off the cream that was sticking there after she took her second bite. 

Both of them are so close with each other to the point Joohyun can only stare at her orbs rather than the enticing sight of her plump lips to prevent the urges to just kiss Seungwan right here and there.

"Be careful," whispered Seungwan affectionately, Joohyun can feel her hot breath caressing her lips by how close their proximity was.

Joohyun exhales tiny, shaky gaps from the intensity of the words Seungwan just said to her. And how their position is such a disadvantage for her because all her brain screams is to lean forward and erase the gap that exists between their lips. But Joohyun resolved herself through it by clearing and flashing her a small smile. She brought her palm up to let her hand go from the slightly tight grip Seungwan got on her wrist and gave her shoulder a weak pat. "I will."

The scientist gives her one last smile, watching Joohyun stepping inside the elevator until the sight of her body has gone from her view. And as soon as the steel door closes, Joohyun can't help but to slump herself against the wall of the elevator. Somehow she is feeling weak over what just happened.

She knows it will be so dangerous to be so close with Seungwan for the second time. She knows there will be consequences if she keeps this up while trying to mask her real feelings for Seungwan in front of the said love interest herself. 

But she doesn't know it would be this difficult. She doesn't expect herself to be stuck in a position where she can't help but to hope for more because of the way Seungwan has acted in front of her. Yet, at the same time, she doesn't want the same things that happened a decade ago to happen again. Joohyun doesn't want her heart to break apart again and there will only be her to pick up the remains because Seungwan wouldn't be there by her side. She doesn't want any of that anymore, but she doesn't know what to do.

Maybe this has finally reached the right time to talk with Seulgi about this matter.

---

the song that was playing on the radio: linger - the cranberries

anyway, please leave a comment and let me know what you think about this story! if you want to interact with me, you can find me on twitter (just follow, i will accept)! feel free to also buy me a coffee!

i think that's all from me. thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy and like this work, and see you in the next chapter!