The thumping on the floor was loud, the sound of music made her head feel as if it was going to explode, heavily breathing from the dance they keep practicing repeatedly, the music suddenly stopped.

 

"Good job everyone! let's take a break." The dance instructor said smiling at them.

 

"Finally!" Leeseo squealed in delight.

 

"ughhh am so tired" Liz whined while laying down on the floor.

 

Gaeul lets out a laugh.

 

"It's been just an hour how are you so tired already." Rei said laughing, extending her hand to Liz, and trying to pull her up with no avail. 

 

Breaking the moment, Leeseo asks out loud, "I wonder when Wonyoung unnie is coming?" grabbing her water bottle off the ground and sipping some water.

 

"Speaking of Wonyoung. I just hope she's okay, she doesn't sleep much these days." Gaeul said sighing.

 

Everyone suddenly fell in silence thinking of one person. After a moment Liz looked towards Yujin.

 

"Unnie, did she tell you when her schedule ends?" Liz asks innocently.

 

Everyone is looking at Yujin now.

 

Yujin hated the feeling of everyone's eyes on her, she knows it's ironic since she's a celebrity. When she started off as a teen Idol, she used to enjoy the attention, the feeling of people looking at her but as she grew older it felt as though everyone was dissecting her every move, holding a microscope on top of her head waiting for a slight slip of any sort, she  became sacred to show emotions or how she's really feeling, that's why she always try to be on, it's as simple as that. Slowly the attention started eating at her, holding everything in just made everything worse; it made her days worse. She wonders if any of her team members started feeling that or that how if they would in the future. She knows to some degree, Wonyoung also feels the same way although she tries to conceal just as much as Yujin, if not more. Knowing this feeling all too well, she does not wish for it to happen to her worst enemy. Now, with everyone in the room aware that she had known Wonyoung for the longest time they just assumed- no. It's a given; she should have known about the younger's whereabouts. Moreover, she is the leader.

 

 

She avoids their eyes and just shrugs.

 

 

 

Gaeul gave Liz a disproving look, Liz widened her eyes in response, not understanding.

 

Wiping the sweat on her forehead Yujin walks to the practice room door, leaving.

 

"Unnie where are you going?" Leeseo asked.

 

"To get a drink." Yujin answered nonchalantly, not looking back.

 

Leaving the room, she walks to the vending machine at the end of the hallway. Stopping in front of the vending machine, she looked for her favorite  power drink, which took her two seconds to find, like it's a muscle memory. she shuffles in her pocket pulling two coins, inserting them in the machine, placing her hand back again in her pocket looking for one more. Of course, she's short on one coin, she let out a sigh. These days, just like her headaches, her luck is bad.

 

It was all too quick; she sees a hand moving in her side vision, inserting a coin in the machine. Clicking on the familiar number, her favorite power drink fell, she knew who it was, she would have known with her eyes closed, the all too familiar scent hits her. A blend of fragrant berries, white flowers, and musk engulfing her senses.

 

Wonyoung leans down and to get the drink from the vending machine before getting back up, she faced Yujin putting her hand out in front of her, waiting for Yujin to take it.

 

"Here." she said with a small, tired smile.

 

It was just like when they were trainees, Wonyoung would hand Yujin her favorite drink in breaks with a smile-it feels like a blurry memory now, like a worn-out leather, all old memories felt hazy or more like; woven into each other to Yujin. in spite, she has always tried to hold on to these small moments with Wonyoung.

 

Yujin just stood there with a blank expression, taking it in, how Wonyoung eyes looked at her with happiness yet now with dark circles underneath them. How thin she became. It's been a few hours since she last saw her, but it felt like an eternity to her.

 

"Unnie." Wonyoung let out a small giggle. That giggle made her headache go away, she hated how her brain could act so stupidly like that. One second, she's having the worst headache and the other second, hearing the younger light giggle, it vanishes just like that.

 

Yujin let out a small "thank you." While taking the drink. And just like that Yujin turned around ready to go back to the practice room. A hand moving swiftly held her wrist stops her in her tracks.

 

"Unnie." Wonyoung says in a small voice, that fragile voice just pained Yujin instantly. She turned around to see Wonyoung, the look on the younger face completely broke her heart.

 

"Unnie it's been a while since we last spoke." Yujin knew what Wonyoung meant by that, she spoke with so much uncertainty in her voice, as if she was afraid Yujin would just pull back and run away, and Yujin wonders if only the younger knew how much power she has over her, if she just said the words; Yujin would stay beside her the whole day-or for how long she demanded.

 

"I-Unnie I miss you." Wonyoung said just below a whisper.

 

Those words made Yujin's walls come crushing down, the walls she built brick by brick every day to protect herself from the world, shattered. It took a moment for Yujin to register those words, Wonyoung rarely shows this side of her so when she does, she really means it. In that moment Yujin just wanted to warp her arms around the younger and tell her how much she missed her too. But of course, with her bad luck-

 

"Unnieee!!" Leeseo came running down the hallway with her arms wide open. Wonyoung let go of Yujin wrist in split of a second, Yujin frowns. She didn't know why that action made her heart constrict in pain. Wonyoung smiled widely at leeseo but her smile didn't reach her eyes, They hugged each other with joy like they haven't seen each other in forever, Yujin knows, she knows that the younger didn't really mean that smile, she had seen how Wonyoung turn her expressions around and be on whenever she is with other people, she knows how the younger puts on a mask as soon as other people are near even when it's just Yujin around but during those years together, Yujin got to know Wonyoung and knows when her mask showed cracking, she knows all too well how the other was trying all the time. Even though Yujin is happy to see the maknae elated she doesn't want a moment of venerability shown by Wonyoung to be interrupted like that, she knows how rare they are.

 

"Wonyoung-ah" Rei called down the hallway happily beaming, one by one all the girls gathered in the hallway chatting and catching up with Wonyoung. Yujin just stood back looking at them.

 

"Unnie! Why don't we go out to eat dinner together after the dance practice!" Leeseo suddenly asks, turning to the leader gleefully.

 

"Yeah, it's been a while." Gaeul added.

 

All the girls looked at her pleadingly, Yujin locked eyes with Wonyoung, just to find out the other girl looking back at her with hopeful eyes too just like the rest of them, she is sure Wonyoung missed the girls too, being as busy as she was nowadays. Yujin let out a sigh with a small smile then nodded.

 

 

 

The girls let out a shriek.

 

 

 

The dance instructor suddenly called for them to continue the lesson from across the hallway.

 

"Okay, let's go to the practice room." Yujin spoke loudly, getting the girl's attention. They groaned but listened to their leader and walked back to the practice room.

 

The dance instructor looked at Wonyoung in the corner of the room taking off her coat. "Wonyong-ah, aren't you tired, are you sure you're able to take the dance lesson today?" she asked.

 

"Of course, I'll do my best teacher!" Wonyoung answered in a gleeful voice making the rest of the girl's cheer all throughout the room. Yujin stood in the back looking at the younger through the mirror worried that she was pushing herself, she knows Wonyoung is putting on a font in front of everyone.

 

"Okay! Let's start!" the instructor exclaimed.

 

 

_________________________________

 

 

They all sat at a round table in the restaurant, the manager booked the girls a private room to feel more comfortable. After choosing what to eat, the girls threw around questions, Yujin couldn't help letting out the most genuine smile she had in a long time looking around the table, sharing time with the girls she cares about.

 

"Liz told me she wants to dye her hair green this comeback!" Rei pointed at the said girl while talking, making everyone around the table laugh.

 

"What's wrong with green?!" Liz asked Rei opening her eyes exaggeratingly.

 

"I support your choices, Liz." Wonyoung beamed at her, Liz reached out to Wonyoung who's sitting beside her, leaning her head on her shoulder.

 

"Of course! I only have you, Wonyoung-ah!" Liz let a deep sigh then turned her head to Rei sticking out her tongue, the rest of the girls laughed, Yujin smiled picking up her glass of water putting it to her lips.

 

Over the rest of the time the girls dove into the food that was served, chatting and giggling, it's moments like these that Yujin wanted to engrave in her mind.

 

Someone phone on the table started to ring making everyone turn to look at the phone owner.

 

"Sorry." Wonyoung said pressing on the X but not before Liz curiously catching the name of person calling.

 

"Lee Chaemin?" Liz read out loud with a teasing glint in her eyes.

 

"OMG!" Leeseo exclaimed putting both of her hands on , the other girls giggled and joined in the teasing. Yujin felt a pinch in her heart hearing the name, looking down at the menu before anyone noticed the shift in her mood, acting nonchalantly about the conversion that's taking place.

 

"It's not like that-" Wonyoung says back with wide eyes looking around and laughing nervously.

 

"Why is he calling you?" Liz giggled nudging her. The rest of the girls looked at her curiously. Other than Yujin.

 

"I-it's probably about work, you really shouldn't worry about it." Wonyoung answered uncertainly.

 

"Is it really?" Liz faced her now.

 

"You told me he confessed to you?" She added.

 

Gasps were heard around the table, no one dared to speak for a moment. Wonyoung coughed and her face turned red instantly. Yujin closed her eyes now, feeling a headache kicking in. She really doesn't want to be here; she would rather be somewhere drinking or meeting some unknown women and let her take her to-

 

"A-am sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud." Yujin hears Liz say while giggling awkwardly.

 

Damn it.

 

"Is it true, unnie?" she hears Leeseo innocently asks now.

 

Enough.

 

"It's not what you think-" Wonyoung tries to answer, the sound of a chair being pushed on the hard wooden floor echoes in the little cabin.

 

"Excuse me for a second." Yujin says getting out of the small room, feeling the eyes of the girls burn on the back her head, probably wondering what gotten into her. Yujin couldn't bother explaining, she just needed to distract herself quickly before this feeling in her chest spread.

 

Yujin walks in the restaurant looking for anything that could help immediately. Spotting a small bar in the restaurant, she heads to it.

 

"One glass of wine please." She orders, sitting down.

 

She gets lost in her thoughts for a while, replaying every signal moment today. Why? Just why does her chest feel heavy? Why does it hurt? And why is her first solution to such problem is drowning in her sorrow, her drinks soon arrive as she's still in a negative place. The truth is- she kind of knew, that when a certain brown eyed girl is involved, her emotions would be all over the place. Putting the drink to her lips, she took a sip.

 

"There you are." A calm voice says. She held in her breath. Oh, she knew that voice for sure.

 

"Gaeul unni-"

 

"Don't worry, you little prick." The older takes a seat next to her "I won't tell them." Quietly she adds, Yujin wonders if the older is afraid that she would run away if she doesn't clarify. The truth is, she probably would. Yujin let out the breath she's been holding in. Gaeul calls the bartender and orders a light drink but not before Yujin chimes in and orders another glass of wine. Gaeul looked at her, she couldn't tell what the older was thinking but honestly she didn't even want to talk about anything at this point, trapping in her feelings, like she have always done. Yujin was in bad mood and the headache was killing her.

 

But Gaeul didn't say anything as time went by and it bothered Yujin the more they kept quiet.

 

"Unnie, aren't you going to ask why am here?" Yujin breaks the silence. looking at her now empty glass, when did she finish it?

 

"I don't think questions are what you want to hear right now." Gaeul answers calmly, she's always calm. Yujin envied that; how can someone be so calm in whatever situation.

 

"Plus, I just thought you'd want company instead." Gaeul adds, the bartender hands them the liquor, Gaeul picks it up sipping her drink. Yujin knows that the older only drink once in a blue moon. She scoffs, she scoffs at her pathetic self, her unnie must find her pitiful. Usually when Yujin needs company, she seeks it out with strangers in another way. It's a first for her, this type of companionship, it doesn't seem that bad to be honest. Yujin takes her second drink from the bartender and downs it quickly. She feels the older worried eyes on her.

 

"Let's go back unnie."

 

 

_________________________________

 

 

 

Yujin feels buzzed as she sits back on her chair, Gaeul follows her. Everyone grew silent and looked at them, probably wondering what the older girls were up to.

 

"Unnie's, where did you go?" Leeseo asks with innocent eyes, breaking the weird atmosphere. They've been away for almost 20 minutes of course, the girls would get worried, especially since Yujin just up and left them like that. Gaeul gave Yujin a little glance then smiled at leeseo.

 

"We had some adult talk," patting leeseo on the head "Once you're older you'll understand, you can join us then!."

 

"Unnie! Am all grown up too!" Leeseo whined, the rest of the girls laughed. Yujin could feel someone's eyes on her, she assumed it's non other than Wonyoung, she didn't want to look back at her, feeling bitter. She turns to Gaeul.

 

"Unnie, should we go back to the dorm now?"

 

"Yujin unnie!" Liz cried out, "It's been a while since we all got out to eat, let's stay here for a bit longer."

 

Gaeul looked at Yujin with apologetic eyes, nodding towards the girls.

 

"yayyyy" Leeseo said happily, clapping her hands.

 

Wonyoung's phone abruptly rings again.

 

"Wonyoung, Is it him again?" Rei asks.

 

Okay now it's just irritating to Yujin, this whole thing was.

 

"Answer the phone." Looking at Wonyoung in the eyes she said, it's easier with liquor settling in her system to spit out the words.

 

Wonyoung looked at her a bit taken aback, she was not used to seeing her unnie that straightforward, no one at the table was.

 

"It keeps ringing how long are you going to make him wait, huh?" Yujin spoke trying to hide her irritation, she could tell it was fooling no one, especially Wonyoung.

 

"Y-yujin-ah, what do you want for dessert?" Gaeul said trying to diffuse the situation.

 

"Unnie-" Wonyoung tried to say back.

 

"I guess you don't want to?" Yujin leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table "Stringing people along till you get board of them." Cackling harshly, Wounyoung looked at her with hurt in her eyes, but Yujin did not know how to stop herself, not when she had all this pent-up frustration, all this bitterness inside her.

 

 

 

You could hear a pin drop.

 

 

 

"U-unnie..." leeseo let out, worry filled in her voice, but Yujin did not hear anything at that moment, all she knows is Wonyoung is sitting across from her, looking her straight in the eye.

 

"Be honest, you enjoy this don't you? It's fun for you?"

 

Wonyoung stood up quickly, having enough.

 

Yujin leans back on chair, not breaking eye contact as if challenges her. Liz grabbed Wonyoung's wrist trying to pull her down again.

 

"Yujin unnie probably didn't mean that, Wonyoung-ah. Sit." Wonyoung removed Liz's hand from her.

 

"No, she made it loud and clear how she thinks about me." Wonyoung said with all the hurt of the world hanging in her voice.

 

Finally breaking eye contact Yujin sighs in weariness, exhausted. Grabbing her purse,

 

"Liz's right you stay, am leaving." She got up, she's probably going to regret it tomorrow. But for now, Yujin needed another type of distraction.