“Yujin-ahhhh!” Youngi screamed out loud while the producer and staff behind the camera’s laughed. Yujin jumped in surprise laughing.

“Yujin keeps losing today!” Mimi pointed and laughed.

Yujin was at Thailand for the week, filming the variety show “Earth Arcade” with her fellow cast members the comedian Eunji, the idol Mimi from Oh My Girl, and the rapper Youngi. Youngi and her were a team against the other two and the kept losing the whole day due to her not being able to focus on the games.

Yujin fell to her knees dramatically asking for forgiveness from Youngi.

“Am sorry unnie!” She exclaimed.

Youngji just laughed and pulled the younger up.

The producer played the game one more time with them and as expected Yujin and Youngji lost the game, being the most competitive person in the room Yujin couldn’t help a sad sigh leave as she clapped for the winning team, Youngji patted Yujin’s shoulder in trying to console her.

The shoot wrapped soon after and the cast went to their room after bidding the staff goodnight, With Yujin and Youngji sharing a room together. Yujin walked straight to the bed then plopped down,

“Am going to shower first!” Youngi said taking her towel and clothes heading to the bathroom.

“Sure.” Yujin answered not sure if the older heard her.

Taking out her phone Yujin opened her Kakaotalk seeing some unread messages, Lesseo sending her a pic of a puppy tied with rope walking excitedly with his owner,

“Unnie look! I saw this puppy today and I thought of you!” Her text read, Yujin smiled big sending a puppy emoji as a response, the maknae was so cute. She saw another text sent from Rei saying,

“Unnie, I hope you are doing well in Thailand >.< I know the schedule was rough before going there so take care of yourself and make sure to drink lots of water I heard it’s very hot there.” The text made her smile again, Yujin always holds thoughtful texts like this one dear to her heart.

Before she could send anytihng back Yujin eyes grew heavy, so she threw her phone on the bedside table and laid down, today was a long shoot. She’s exhausted, to say the least. It’s been intense since she first got here especially that they’ve been betting on games with the PD just to eat food.

After a while Youngi walked off the shower all fresh ready for bedtime.

“You awake Yujin?” She asked happily.

At least one of them was having fun, it’s not like Yujin didn’t need a breath of fresh air, God knows how much she needed this, it’s just that being constantly on for the camera and laughing was draining her. As well as being away from the members was a first since debuting, she always though it would be good for her to detach a bit but it seems that she’s grown fond of them to some degree, she misses them and a certain brown eyes suddenly appear in her mind, with a beautiful smile-

“Yujin?”

She snaps out of it,

“Yeah.” She answered sleepily.

God, why did her mind always go back to her, why can’t she escape her? She thousands of miles aways from her, and she just can’t help wonder if the younger ate? Slept? Why didn’t she text me anything since I arrived? Doesn't she miss me even a little bit? Maybe she’s busy? 

“You’re definitely sleepy, you keep getting out of it.” Youngi said closing the lights and laying in her bed.

“I did not mean to unnie.” Yujin smiled hearing the older, thinking that she is all the way in another country might as well try not think of anything back at her home country and try to enjoy the rest of the week. 

“You should go to sleep if you’re sleep,” Youngi turned to side looking at Yujin “You did your best today, let’s have more fun tomorrow, goodnight.” She smiled. 

“Goodnight.” Yujin said softly, wondering how the older does it, she’s always putting everyone in the room in good mood. Plus, she always works hard, you’d never catch her slacking off. Her goofiness is so infectious and to some degree, Youngji started to rub off on her, and maybe that’s for the good, Yujin began to let loose and her older self that she thought was gone started to resurface again. She so thankful for this opportunity, even though it's hard at times, the good outweighs the bad.

Yujin doesn’t know for how long she kept tossing and turning, she couldn’t sleep and to her surprise the older spoke.

“You can’t sleep?” Youngji asked.

“No.” She sigh.

“What’s on your mind?”

What on her mind? She couldn’t even begin to answer that question. Let’s see, Yujin thought. Deep dark brown eyes, silky long black hair, and a warm beautiful smile that’s only for her. Gosh she missed her so much. It’s been a while since they last spoke, and not for cameras like real talk, and it’s been eating at her heart. They’ve never not spoken for that long and the member’s most likely noticed, the cold shoulder the younger gives her, the avoidance they did when they are in the same room, the tension that surrounds them whenever they have to stand close. It’s been hard on Yujin, and she doesn’t know what exactly to do with the younger and her relationship, maybe it’s for the best, she thought. Them having distance will help her process what’s going on with herself and feelings and hopefully move on from whatever this was, this conflicting feeling was all she ever thought about these days.

Wonyoung was like fire, she wanted to get close to her to feel the warmth but the moment she gets close it burns.

“Your so lost in your thoughts.” Youngi observed the younger.

Yujin snaps out of it looking at Youngi or what she thinks is her figure laying down on bed in the dark.

“Yeah, my bad.” Yujin said softly.

“What is it?”

“I just…” Yujin hardly opens up to people no matter how close they get, especially new people. Though she quickly felt as though Youngji was a trustful person. The problem was that it was tough for her once she got to say it audibly.

“It’s okay, you can say it. Everything we say in Thailand stays in it.” Youngji reassured her.

Yujin smiled slightly then her back staring at the ceiling.

“I just miss someone.” She vaguely started.

“I have that kind of person too.” Youngji says back.

“You do?”

“Yeah, but why don’t you tell me about your person?”

Youngji just assumed that it was her person and Yujin couldn’t say anything back to that because it was true, Wonyoung was her person. She went to deep thinking, what was the younger like?

“Umm..she’s a deep thinker who always worry about the smallest things but doesn’t show it.” Yujin paused knowing she just said her gender causally but thankfully like she thought she was, Youngji was open-minded.

“Keep going.” She heard Youngji say in the dark room.

“Always choosing her heart over her mind even if at times it’s dumb.” Yujin starts to smile now.

“Sounds like she has integrity.”

Yujin nods her head not knowing if Youngji can see her in the dark.

“Whining when I don’t give her much attention and acting cutely to get what she wants from me.”

“That’s cute.” Youngji laughed and Yujin couldn’t help but laugh with her.

“She has the most beautiful smile, and her eyes always lights up when she looks at me.” Yujin tried to remember all the little things about the younger. “She used to run at me happily whenever she saw me, and she always made fun of me, and I couldn’t say anything back to her.”

“You sound like a puppy in love.” Youngji said with smile.

Yujin pause.

No. That can’t be it, what she feels whenever she sees Wonyoung was adoration, the younger was just so lovable in her eyes, what lo-? That can’t be it. All the denying and countless sleepless nights abruptly came back, all the jealousy she felt when she saw the younger with someone other than her. Even so- it can’t be that. Yujin shoved her feelings deep down and suppressed it for so long. This can’t be the way for her to realize her feelings, the one time she opens up she gets told she’s in lo-

“YUJIN!!” Youngji screams and Yujin realize the older was over on her bed now with her hands gripping her shoulders tightly shaking her, trying to get her attention.

“A-am o-okay.” She choked out.

“Omg you scared me! Breath! breath!” yougji tried to sooth her. She noticed how she was out of breath, hyperventilating. Youngji got up to get her a glass of water.

Yujin sits up in her bed feeling sweat on her forehead, she did not just have am anxiety attack. Brushing her hair back she took the glass of water offered by Youngji and drank it.

Youngji sits on her side of the bed observing her worriedly. “I did not mean for that to happen, sorry.” Extending her hand, she squeezed Yujin free hand.

Feeling air moving in her lungs again, she said “I did not mean for this to happen too, sorry.” giving Youngji a tired smile. “But- I think I just started to overthink everything and panicked.” Looking in the distance her smile dropped. “Unnie what do I do now?” she asked wearily.

Youngji caressed her on the back comforting her. “I don’t the situation between you two, but it seems serious enough for you to hyperventilate like that.”

Yujin pulled her legs to her chest hugging them “It is complicated.” She said weakly.

“Why don’t you tell me?” Youngji asked softly, Yujin turned her head looking in the older's eyes. She doesn’t know why it just felt safe to be vulnerable with youngji, so that night she decided to tell Youngji about Wonyoung.

The conversation carries out with Yujin telling her about Wonyoung and although Yujin kept a lot of secrets, she talked about Wonyoung for the first time freely and it already made her feel lighter. She never knew how much space Wonyoung occupied in her heart till she spoke about her.

Yujin told her about the recent outburst in the restaurant. When Youngji suddenly sat up and yelled,

“Well just apologize!” Youngji exclaimed with arms waving around as if it was the most obvious thing to do.

Yujin brushes her hair back agian, “It’s not that simple.”

“What do you mean?” Youngji enquired.

“I don’t think she wants me to apologize.”

“Huh?”

scorning she said, “Trust me, I knew her for too long.”

“Then what do you think she wants?”

“Confrontation.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Yujin gulped.

“Then why don’t you do that?”

“A-am too much of a cowered for that.” She gulped nervously feeling the breeze from the slightly jarred window seeps in.

“Why do you say that?” Youngji asked gently.

“Am afraid that…” she hesitated for a bit “everything I’ve been holding in will just spill out.” Yujin felt her jaw become tense. “Worst case would be that I might just hurt her, then how am I supposed to live with myself if I lose her for good this time?” Her worries pouring out before she coudl even realize.

“Yujin, I might have only gotten to know you for a short time,” Youngji started  “but I don’t think your can live with yourself anymore if you keep not talking to her. You already said that you miss her, imagine if it goes on for longer, can you handle the long separation like that?” She added.

Yujin face grew pale. No, she can’t imagine Wonyoung and her not talking anymore, its already killing her and if this goes on for any longer, she doesn’t know what would happen to her.

“Plus, don’t you care about what she’s feeling? What if she’s suffering from this even more than you?” Youngji added.

Yujin stilled for a second, she did not really think about this point, has she been too self-centred to notice the younger girl feeling to this situation, Gaeul did tell her that the younger went to her for advice prior to their fight.

“You’re right.” She said unknowingly to herself.

Youngji laughed for the first time in a while. “You’re welcome.” She said playfully.