"Was I always this vulnerable?

Was you my only strength?

Sharing with you my desires,

Telling you about my misery,

Like you are the best medicine,

...

Does it have a side effect?

Or did I overdose?

The season has changed...

Why I'm still here?"

Kyungsoo breathed heavily while leaning on a desk in his office room at home. All the books were scattered under the shelves. Ripped pages next to them. The abandoned guitar's unfortunate place under the wall on the right side of the room was telling stories about the hysteria from a not long time ago. There was this unbearable lament bouncing off the walls...

In silence...

 

 

It was a sunny morning, past 6 a.m. This airport was living its own life like it was Saturday afternoon in the city center. Many flights landed. The light brown color of the floor tiles reflected the sunlight, jumping inside the building by the glass walls from the exit side. Kyungsoo was sitting on one of the bench seats inside. 

He wore a light brown jacket and black trousers. While holding a mobile phone in his hand he smiled gently. It was YiSeul messaging about having fun the next couple of days without her.

"It's a work trip, how can it be fun?" He thought, and the phone started ringing. 

- Chanyeol-ah! - Kyungsoo answered while looking around.

- Kyungsoo-yah!- laughed while imitating his friend - I'll be there in a second, just going to the toilet and grabbing a coffee, you're ok? You can wait near the entrance, I'll find you - 

- Ok, hurry up - said Kyungsoo, and hung up. He then grabbed a grey backpack, wore it on his arms, and bucked his waistbelt. After that grabbed a large, black suitcase on wheels and casually proceeded to the exit. 

 

Outside were small (compared to inside) crowds of arrived travelers. This was a street where many cars were parked to collect those travelers, and opposite the exit, a little further down, was a small park with trees and benches. He looked up in the sky. Even the noise around couldn't disturb his peaceful mind. "..ah...it's only one week...I hope she won't be bored alone....". These thoughts were swirling around his head, how great is to have her by his side...

Suddenly, he jumped to the side, barely staying on his feet, and raised his head to see who just pushed him so hard.... realizing he unconsciously caught this person, so she didn't fall on the ground...

It was a young woman. He thought: "Maybe 25, maybe 28, it's difficult to predict as girls these days are using many amazing cosmetics and ..."

She jumped back from his hands, waking him up from his internal analysis. Panicked, brushed her long dark brown hair with her fingers, shouted "Apologise!", grabbed her large, black suitcase, and ran away leaving him speechless. It was a long few seconds when he was watching her disappear. 

- Kyungsoo! - Chanyeol jumped on him, scaring him slightly, so he swung clenched fist at his friend's stomach, but just touched to scare Chanyeol back in revenge.  

- You done? - asked

- Yeah, let's go. Your coffee - Chanyeol handed the warm drink to KyungSoo and they headed to the nearest taxi. 

 

The hotel where KyungSoo and Chanyeol were staying was in a classic 1970s style. Although the windows were modern, and looked a little bit out of context, in general, the view was pleasant, and looking at the interest in this place, none of the guests probably minded the mix of styles. 

They checked-in in reception and hurried to their booked rooms to change clothes and prepare for a meeting. 

 

Kyungsoo entered his room which was studio apartment size. From the small anteroom, he could enter all the rest of rooms which was: the toilet on the left, the kitchen opposite, and the bedroom on the right. Funny how the bedroom was connected to the kitchen from the inside. "This could have been just one room, what is the point in those walls separating the anteroom?" He smirked, after creating a reconstruction plan in his head. His mind is always absorbed by analyzing new experiences and places like it would change anything. But he can't fight with this part of his personality.  

He went to the bedroom first and placed his backpack on the small brown bedside cabinet under the white wall. All the walls were white, and the carpet covered the floor on every inch, excluding the toilet where the white tiles were placed. 

Then he put his suitcase on the bed and opened it to take some stuff important for the meeting...

"What is that...?" He stiffened and all the waters in his body started to boil from shock, out of fright, or all kinds of panic emotions you can feel at this kind of moment. His mind went blank. He tried to remember what happened before he arrived at the hotel..." That girl..." he whispered with a pale face. Hopefully, his laptop was in the backpack together with all the documents. He tried to calm down, took a deep breath a few times, sat on the bed and after long seconds of consideration he created a plan for a meeting. That was the most important now. 

Then he looked into her suitcase and found a name tag, similar to the one that parents are sewing or just hang on their kid's clothes or bags when they go to primary school. 

The message on the tag was as follows:

If found alone

Call Rose

01937xxxx

He was gazing at this tag for a long time in silence. It wasn't certain to him if his messed up state of mind was caused by this situation in general, the fact she swapped the suitcases by mistake or...that she was keeping this tag in her suitcase because it's probably the last thing that adult would think of before going on a trip alone...

He called the number. 

The signal was on but no answer. Then tried again, 4 times to be precise. 

After looking at the time on the phone, he hurried up and started preparing for a meeting. 

 

 

The meeting place was a boardroom in one of the JJ ENTERTAINMENTS buildings. This spacious room had only the most important furniture which was a long, polished wood table and 11 stylish spinning chairs for all board members. The walls were in magnolia color, the floor was covered by navy, fluffy carpet. Doors were at the top of the left side, and the wall on the right was made from stone mosaic wall tiles in a light gray color, with the exception in the center where there was a place for a 90" size TV. Also, at the bottom of the wall, under the TV was a small chiller for drinks, filled with only water and a few cans of Coca-Cola, probably ordered by the members beforehand. 

It was 9 a.m. when 11 attendees started gardening, including Manager Kim. Each one of them was in an expensive suit, mostly grey and black. Besides men, 5 women came, also in suits of the same colors. Then Kyungsoo was wearing the same clothes as before, which were a light brown jacket, and Chayeol in a retro-styled hooded jacket. They both sat just at the beginning of the table under the TV. 

The man in his probably 60s sat just at the end of the table and patiently waited till everyone was settled down. He was the CEO of JJ Entertainment.

At some point, he said:

- Good morning, I hope everyone had a comfortable journey. We are here today to discuss the anniversary concert next 3 or 4 weeks. The date still hasn't been settled up, but we will get there eventually....- and waited for any reaction from other members. His facial expression reminded the one of the governor in prison. He smiled like an angel, but his gaze was a thread. He didn't have to say a word, his stare was creating a law that everyone had to obey without discussion. 

- Let's begin, shall we? - and the angelic smile just appeared, bringing insecurity even to prepared for these meeting members....except two friends at the end. Kyungsoo was typing lyrics on his mobile and sending them to his email address while Chanyeol was absorbed by staring at the least favorite board members and laughing quietly at their frightened behavior. 

 

The meeting was going smoothly. Each one of the employers was sharing their theories or presentations. Kim was sitting quietly until his time came. 

- Woo Shik, what have you prepared for Creams? - the silence appeared in the room. Woo Shik was a young man, age max 30. Black curly hair cut short in the back, but fluffy bangs were almost covering his eyes. Long face, small eyes, and slightly damaged lips from biting. 

-...um...- he started, but had difficulties to construct the sentences - they will be performing 5 songs...so I was thinking, we can choose the most popular 5 ...- he paused for a moment to look at their reactions, which were none so he continued- and...um...we can make the "candy" appearance, fans loves it....- he paused again. This time it looks like he ran out of ideas, so the pause was like a begging for someone else to speak up. Kim slowly looked at Kyungsoo who was still working on his phone hidden under the table. 

- Doh, anything you wish to add? - ...silence. Kyungsoo raised his head and needed a few seconds to understand the situation. Then he leaned on his chair comfortably and said:

- I would use 4 of the most popular songs, 2 from the debut and two from the second album. Then I would give them 5 minutes to interact with the audience announce a new single, and sing the highlight from it. It would build excitement amongst fans. Also...- he looked at Woo Shik - I don't think the "CANDY" theme is the best. First of all, they are not newbies anymore, and together with the last scandals about them dating seems not in place. I would choose FAITH as the 4th song to emphasize that they are no longer children. That would help to make the audience understand that they are also human beings and will calm down the media a little... - he finished. 

The silence in the room was shouting about admiration. Then suddenly, the silent applause could be heard. That was the CEO who was entertained with KyungSoo's speech. 

- Manager Kim, what's your decision? - Kim needed a long second to answer: 

- I'll go with KyungSoo's idea...- it seems his plan to embarrass Kyungsoo has failed. Was it this plan? Or maybe there was a different reason? 

 

The meeting was carried out as planned till the end, and no one realized that KyungSoo's presentation was mostly created on a mobile phone while going by taxi and during the meeting itself. 

 

Later in another room, there was a presentation again, this time led by one person for the audience consisting of employees. Large area, fully in white colors, hundreds of chairs, and a scene with a mini cinema screen behind. The presentation was about the stadium where the concert will take place and all the important details in this matter. 

Kyungsoo was sitting with Chanyeol somewhere in the middle of the right side of the audience. 

- How's our naughty YiSeul? - Chanyeol joked after looking at Kyungsoo scrolling the phone. 

- Alright, I think. Stop talking like she's your girlfriend too - 

- I always wanted to ask you this, because sometimes when speaking, she has this weird accent, where is she from? - 

....

KyungSoo's eyes widened in a second.

Time has stopped, why is his mind blank suddenly? Where is she from? He was replaying all his memories in his head like an opened family photobook, like an archive in the basement or the attic. He was in every corner of his memory...where is she from? 

- Oi! - Chanyeol woke him up from his trance - Don't tell me you don't know! - covered his laughing face to not make any loud sound - KyungSoo-yah, that's not good? Ask her, and let me know ok? - 

Kyungsoo was barely hearing his friend as his mind just created another investigation in his head. What does he know about her past? They meet one year ago, he was always telling stories from his life, he complained to her about his dilemmas, she was supportive...was she? She was always there, right? But was he supportive? Has she ever told him about her difficulties? 

This year passed so fast that he wasn't paying attention to many significant points. What does he know about her? 

 

After another important presentation, the working day was finally over. 

Kyungsoo came back to his room, looked at the phone, and threw it on the bed, then went to take a shower. 

*buzz buzz*

The phone was ringing. 

When he came back from the shower, while drying his hair with a towel, he grabbed the phone and stiffened.... 4 missed calls and one text message. He rushed to open it:

- Do you have my suitcase?! -

He breathed a sigh of relief and started typing:

- Yes, can we meet tomorrow morning? I need the equipment from inside ASAP -

Two seconds passed:

- OK then, tomorrow at 6 am at the airport, same place as today. See you! - 

He opened his round eyes widely but smirked with satisfaction that everything was sorted. Now, only time for a dream after this long day. 

YiSeul hasn't texted him, she's probably busy. "Good night" he typed with a heart emoticon at the end. 

Good night, KyungSoo-yah...

 

The next day, same time as yesterday, Kyungsoo arrived at the airport. He was waiting at the entrance for women who swapped their identical suitcases. He still couldn't believe this story, but he accepted that, and told himself that many unexpected stories can happen, like his and YiSeul's example. He waited. "I think I came too early," he thought, but after looking at the phone, it was exactly 6 a.m., as agreed. He wore the same jacket, so she would recognize him. All of a sudden, he felt shivers, sometimes you feel this when someone is watching you, so he raised his head to look for the source of this unpleasant feeling. 

Just opposite him was standing a short girl, with dark brown long hair lying on her arms. Her pale skin color and dark, upturned eyes together had something unique, fascinating, Kyungsoo couldn't explain it in words. Maybe it's that red lipstick? She was wearing a blue sweater and a long, white dress, almost hiding her feet. 

Slowly, she came nearer to him while not losing an eye contact. 

- Is that you? Do you have my suitcase? -

KyungSoo's chest flattened as the uncertainty was forcing him to be prepared for any defense if it wasn't her, if he just had long eye contact with a random person who would approach him without any reason. He smirked and said:

- I have no idea how we swapped our suitcases, but hopefully, you had this name tag. Are you always keeping it inside?- he couldn't wait to ask that question which had intrigued him since yesterday. She then grabbed her suitcase and left his next to him. Then she smiled gently, raised her head, and explained:

- I get what you mean, that's unbelievable, right? I can't believe it myself, but what happened is I was late for my meeting, hopefully, I had all the documents on my phone so just printed them off on site. I was running and looking at my phone, so it's my bad, apologies for running into you - the way she spoke made Kyungsoo surprised as she answered all his questions in one go, and for some reason, he was not even bothered anymore. What happened, happened. Hopefully, everything will be back to normal from now on. 

- What's your name? - she was looking at her phone while asking. Kyungsoo, amazed by this question said:

- Doh Kyungsoo, but why are you asking? -

- No reason, I'm Rose. Nice to meet you. Apologies, but I need to check in, my flight is soon - then she moved to the entrance, raised her hand, and waved - See you, maybe someday! - 

- Remove! my num..m..ber...- The last word he whispered slowly as she was gone already. 

For some reason, this situation was fascinating for him and he smiled while turning around and headed to the first taxi. 

 

He spoke with YiSeul later. She was in the hospital with her mom. Her health was not getting any better, and that made Kyungsoo upset but he needed to focus because today he had another busy day...and all week was the same. He was waking up and going to the JJ ENMT building, planning, writing, arranging, listening, recording, and planning again. He spoke with YiSeul every evening, In the daytime she was absorbed by work and her mom's condition. 

 

He then arrived in Yeonhui.

"Finally at home," he thought. It was evening, so the skies were covered in dark ink, and because of a rainy time, the clouds were covering all the stars. 

His fence and grass were in the same condition as he left. "She took care of this place". Then he opened the door, not even thinking about taking off his shoes, he just wanted to see her first. 

She was in the kitchen wearing an apron, a little dirty after cooking but that didn't matter. Nothing matters, as far as she's here. Her hair was tied in a top knot. The only makeup on her face was probably mascara. She lifted her soiled in sweet cake icing finger and it while raising her eyes to look at him. 

- Hey! - he ran to her and hugged her like he just found his long-lost treasure. 

- How's the flight? - she asked while hugging him back and patting his arm. 

- Easy, it's a short flight so I didn't even realize when we landed. How are things? All ok? How's mom? Sorry, that is the most important, is she feeling better? 

YiSeul looked into his eyes, it seemed she was constructing the best sentence to describe the situation. 

- She's back at home, it seems she just overworked, and her back is not standing this kind of pressure anymore -

Kyungsoo was speechless for a second. 

- So it's not life-threatening? -

- No, she fell down the stairs while doing housework. It's OK now - 

He asked himself, what was the reason for him to create the life-threatening sickness, was it something she said? Or he just added this part by himself, which is hard to accept, but now he can't remember what exactly she said about her mother's condition. Mom - hospital - bad well-being - this generated a story in his mind? Sounds like an absurd. Maybe he is just too sensitive, maybe he was asking for a situation where he can support YiSeul, the same as she was supporting him up until now? If that's the case, that is very selfish of him.But he still couldn't accept this possibily....

- I'm happy everything is fine now, was worried about your mom - 

YiSeul smiled slightly, took his hand, and led him to the set table, filled with tasty dishes and a big cake in turquoise color. 

- Wait! - he gave an order and ran straight to the shelf just above the sink, grabbed a red wine, and came back to the table with two wine glasses.

- Addition to the delicious food you have prepared - he hasn't tried it yet, obviously, but he missed her, and whatever she prepared he will appreciate. Then he gave her a kiss...going deeper as his deep feeling of longing. She put her hand on his back for a second, then suddenly she cut this precious moment with words: " Let's eat first, shall we? - smiled and sat down. 

"What's that? " he thought while standing still and watching her. "What is this feeling?" 

 

Why do her lips seems so unfamiliar today?