A Glimpse of us by Joni - Song Lyrics 
 

'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes
And that's where I find a glimpse of us
And I try to fall for her touch
But I'm thinking of the way it was
Said I'm fine and said I moved on
I'm only here passing time in her arms
Hoping I'll find
A glimpse of us

_______________________________________________

“Hey babe, look that’s an ice cream truck. Let’s go get some. I’ve always wanted to try the coconut flavor.” Minseok pulled Jongdae by the hand.

“Coconut?” He screwed his face.

 

 

“Mmh? What do you think, Dae-ah?”

 

 

“Mmh not bad.” Jongdae leaned in and at Minseok’s lips.

 

“Hey.”

 

“You had something…right.. there.” He gently poked a finger at it and smiled mischievously. 

Getting a swat from Minseok alongside a big gummy smile.

 

 

—-

 

“Hey, hey Jongdae? You’re not listening. Why do you keep zoning out?”

Chanyeol waved his hand in front of him, not looking too happy with Jongdae.

 

“I’m sorry. I must be tired from work. Is it alright if we call it a night?”

 

“But we were going to get ice cream. Come on, I want to try a new flavor.” 

 

“Sorry, baby, but next time. Let’s go home for now.”

 

“Whatever.” He stomped to the car, leaving Jongdae behind. And refused to talk to him throughout the drive home. which wasn’t long but the silence just didn’t seem to end.

 

 

 

“When are you going to move on?” Asked Chanyeol as they sat at the dinner table.

 

“What… what do you mean?”

 

“Don’t think I’m stupid just because I don’t say anything. Your dumb ex, when are you going to finally let go and paid genuine attention to me? Whenever we go out it’s like I don’t exist. why are you even with me?” The clatter of utensils against the table startled both of them. Their gazes lingered on one another until Chanyeol got up , claiming he was no longer hungry.

 

 

The bedroom door shut closed and Jongdae lost his appetite. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and then threw it on the dish of food. 

 

He groaned and ran a hand over his face.

 

———

 

“Hey Babe, wait for me, why are you so quick?!” Minseok huffed, trying to catch up with Jongdae.

 

Jongdae ran backwards as he called out to Minseok. “Then hurry up, slow-poke. I can’t miss my chance of winning a free HongChul album. Do you know how much they cost.”

 

“Oh you’re gonna get it when I catch you.” Minseok shook a finger at him. 

 

Jongdae stuck at him, teasing him by running faster.

“Heyyy, come on!!”

 

“Slow poke!” Jongdae laughed.

 

 

“Ah man, movie tickets?” Jongdae sulked.

 

“Well,” Minseok patted his back. “At least you won something.”

 

“Ughh but the album.”

 

“And maybe that karma for leaving your boyfriend behind.” Minseok shook his head in fake pity. 

 

“Boyfriend, will you go to the movies with me?”

 

Minseok smiled, linking their arm’s together. “It’s a date, boyfriend.” He wiggled his shoulders and eyebrows.

Jongdae kissed his cheek.

 

 

 

On Saturday of their movie date, Jongdae pulled up to Minseok’s house on his green bicycle, with a seat. Minseok stood in front of his house’s gate, dressed in a green shirt and black pants. He looked so cute and yet absolutely gorgeous.

 

Jongdae got off the bike and hugged his boyfriend. “You look beautiful, Minseokie. Are you ready to go?”

 

“Always.” He held his hand.

 

 

The movie was a lighthearted romantic comedy of people in their twenties. The two spent their time giggling and trying to land popcorns in each other’s mouths. Kisses on the cheeks and whispers of nothingness. 

 

After the movie they rode through the streets of Incheon, enjoying the evening breeze. They ate street food and bout each other bracelets. 

A green one for Minseok and gray one for Jongdae. And under the street lights, Jongdae kissed Minseok intimately, pulled him by the waist and let him feel his love. 

And both were a blushing mess throughout the night.

 

———

Jongdae stood in front of the counter at the movie theater ordering popcorn and coke for him and Chanyeol who stood next to him, smiling happily. 

Jongdae had planned this as a way to make it to Chanyeol. He had not considered that it’d trigger memories of the past. But Chanyeol didn’t deserve such a moment and so he took a deep breath and took the popcorn and coke and led his boyfriend to the movie room. 

 

 Chanyeol loved action movies and Jongdae spent the time covering his face even over the slightest gory scene. 

“I’ll be right back, baby.” Chanyeol nodded.

 

He washed his face. The man looking back at him was different now. A more mature man. He preferred low cut hairstyles, simple clothings, and the simplest of life. He splashed more water on his face. He was no longer a little boy, he now had a job, a house and a nice car. He was doing well for himself, so why was his chest hurting and his mind always replaying the past?

When did he become such a mess?

Was life always going to a big disappointment?

 

He took another deep breath and returned to Chanyeol.

 

 

 

“Shall we break up, Jongdae?” Chanyeol asked as he was taking off his shoes, bent down, his fingers halting at the heel of the white sneakers Chanyeol got him for his birthday a year ago.

 

——

 

“I want us to break up.” Jongdae hadn’t even noticed that Minseok had stopped. 

He turned to him, his grin disappearing.

 

“Now is not the time for jokes, Minseokie. Come on.” He went to take hold of his hand, Minseok hid the had behind him.

 

“Jongdae-ah. I…”

 

“That’s not what you call me. Call me the proper way. The loving way. What’s with the jokes?”

 

“I don’t feel for you the way I used to. This isn’t what I wanted but…” he took a deep breath. “I want us to stop seeing each other.”

 

Jongdae couldn’t speak, it felt like he was falling in absy, he want to scream but the words were stuck, he couldn’t breathe.

 

“Stop lying to me!” He screamed. “You said you loved me, you said you want to spend the rest of your life with me! Stop lying!”

 

“I’m sorry.” Minseok went wrap his arms around him.

“Don’t.. don’t touch me. You traitor. You traitor. I hate you.” He wiped his eyes and walked to his bicycle. 

His tears fell endlessly. 

Later on he heard from a friend that Minseok had moved to another country. 

It all spiraled out of control from then and now it was happening again.

 

——-

“Jongdae….”

 

“…..Jongdae.”

 

“I don’t think you’re capable of loving me while carrying that heavy baggage with you. It’s ruining me, I’m starting to hate you and that's the last thing I want to do. But you barely notice me and in everything I do, you find a glimpse of him in it. It’s exhausting trying to get your love. It’s exhausting giving you my love and seeing you not handle it with care. Today finally solidified my decision. I can’t do this anymore.”

 

 

Where did everything go wrong? Wasn’t love long lasting? How did it ever turn out that Jongdae would ever spend the life he dreamed of alone?

 

The food no longer tastes the same. Going to work feels more of a boring chore and all he does is smile when they ask if he’s okay. 

Of course he is. 

Of course he is. 

 

 

 

 

*This is for anyone who was just someone someone else was passing time with.*

 

*As always, thank you for reading.