As I watched Dara’s Range Rover disappear from view, my conversation with Taeyang last night played in my head. He talked to me after he accompanied Dara to her car.

”If you don’t say the right thing at the right moment, no matter how much fate was involved in the relationship, everything will be ruined. Even if you regret it, it’ll be too late,” Taeyang said as he fiddled with his earphones.

I looked at him and said, “She knows I love her so—“

Taeyang clicked his tongue and said, “I’m not talking about that. I know she knows you love her.”

“What should I tell her then?” I asked, getting a little angry.

“Apologize, Jiyong. You weren’t very nice today. She surprised you, and all she received from you was that scowl of yours.” I was immediately guilt-ridden after my best friend said that. “Besides, your sorry was long overdue. Think about that.”

Fans were already pooling at my direction and my manager had to drag me out of the parking lot to get me away from the crowd. He was telling me something but my mind blank. No, that’s not true. Because an image kept appearing before my eyes.

Cute Dara

Sweet Dara

Happy Dara

Smiling Dara

Come to think of it, I never saw her sad or angry. She has always a smile ready for me, even when she is tired. And me? I’m an .

My manager shoved me in the press conference room and once again, I’m blinded by the camera flashes. I blindly took my seat, and looked at the sea of people looking at us.

I saw Seungri stand up and gave something to the director and the room dimmed afterwards. At the corner, a video was shown and Seungri, wearing a preposterous wig, came into view.

“Annyeong! I’m the fifth member of 2NE1! I’m SeungDara!” Seungri then tried to imitate Dara’s most memorable moves and made aegyo.

Everyone in the room laughed, even my group members. I glanced at our maknae and saw that Seungri was definitely enjoying the moment. TOP’s voice was heard in the background and he said, “Dara-noona doesn’t do that, Seungri!”

Seungri pouted and rolled his eyes. “Whatever! And I’m not Seungri! I’m SeungDara!” He extended his arm and said, “And now let’s welcome the sixth member of Big Bang…G-Dara!”

Daesung shook my shoulders and said, “Ah, hyung! This is the best part!” I only nodded, and when Dara came into view, I was dumbstruck. Because she became me.

Her hair was swept on one side, held together by gel. And the way she stared reminded me of myself.

We looked like twins.

But how?

I finally remembered how that happened. Dara was in our dorm, and I was in my room, reading the feedback coming from fans.

I always thought GD-oppa could pull of any hairstyle, but this…is a letdown for me.

One word. Ugh.

What’s gotten into him? Oppa, cut your hair, please! It looks ridiculous!

I must have screamed so loud because Dara opened the door, looking worried. “What happened?” she asked. I showed her my laptop and she read the comments. Dara gave me a puzzled look after she finished so I said, “They hate my hair.”

“So?” Dara smiled. “I like it. It’s definitely you.”

I buried myself in my covers and Dara went beside me. I knew she was trying to comfort me as she said, “Come on. It’s not like you’re the only one whose hairstyles get hated. I get a lot of that too.”

I propped myself up and she smiled at me, saying, “I get a lot of hate comments too.” She typed her name on the search bar and searched for the comments about her.

Our comments were pretty the same, but what caught my attention was the last comment on her thread.

Her hair’s fine, because she can make it work. What disturb me are her clothes. I mean WTF! Who styles her anyway? Making her wear those fugly clothes?

Dara must have seen that too, because she readily closed the screen. But it was too late, I already saw that and it only made me feel low. Because it was me who made her wear those fugly clothes.

She stood up and said, “Stop sulking. It’s not the end of the world.”

Still angered by the comments, I vented my anger at her and said, “You don’t know how I’m feeling so shut it.” Dara looked shocked at what I said, and was about to say something but chose to get out of the room.

I returned my attention to the video and saw her and Seungri preparing to perform.

I’m still alive I’m still alive I’m still alive
Nan jugeoganeun deut boijiman jukji anha
Namdeurui siseoneul pihae gyeolko sumji anha

Our album’s intro was played and Dara, or should I say, G-Dara sang the song perfectly. Her voice complemented mine, and it was like the song was made for us.

And when Fantastic Baby was played, she danced like I did. Dara even sang the first lines, pretending that the ladle was her microphone.

yeogi buteora modu moyeora
WE GON’ PARTY LIKE
lilililalala
mameul yeoreora meoril biwora
bureul jipyeora lilililalala

My other group members joined her and they all danced like crazy, even TOP-hyung, who hated dancing. When they were finished, Daesung said, “Let’s also do ‘Bad Boy’!”

Everyone agreed except Dara. When asked for her reason, she said, “I don’t really like the song.”

“Why?!” Everyone exclaimed and Dara just shook her head.

“I can’t really tell you,” she finally answered. And that’s when I noticed tears forming on her eyes.

It’s because of me, isn’t it?

Because I’m a bad boy.

Seungri bugged her to death until she agreed and they performed it. But I can already see her trying not to cry.

And when my part in the chorus started, she sung her own lyrics.

Always coming to me saying, "Sorry, I'm a bad boy."
Can't be living like this when you knew I was a good girl
Or at least, you should've
Known but guess you didn't
So that is why it's best to move on

It hit me like a bullet. I just heard her sing those words, but I find myself having this wound.

Was I that terrible?

In the video, the other guys realized that Dara was already crying and they stopped. “What’s wrong, noona?” Taeyang asked.

She shook her head and said, “Nothing…it’s nothing.”

Seungri sighed and said, “She must have sprained her ankle. We practiced the choreography all night.” And the video was cut.

Everyone in the room laughed and clapped, except me.

I stood up, and headed to the door, and no one except Taeyang noticed that I was leaving. He gave me a thumbs up and I smiled at him.

I ran to my car, and drove away from the venue.

I’ll go to where the girl of my dreams is, and I’m going to say sorry.

I'm also going to ask one last chance to make it all right.

I'll do my best to make her happy.

And I'll make sure she'll be filled with happy memories throughout eternity.