Jungso/Leeteuk-

I opened my eyes and realized what I had just happened.

I felt Sungye kiss me back and her arms were around my neck. I couldn't move. Her lips on mine made me remember the past. We used to kiss like this all the time.

Used to.

Aish! Jungso! Pull yourself together! What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I kiss her?

I quickly pulled away from her and took a few steps back. Both of us were staring at each other for a moment and were in a daze. It was me that broke the tension off. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, hoping that i could forget everything that had just happened. I opened them again to find Sungye with tears falling from her eyes.

Damn!

I cleared my throat.

"M-Mi-Mian-Mianhe. I shouldn't have done that. I.... I was just... Nevermind... J-Just forget everything." I told her.

Without even finishing my sentence or waiting for her to say anything I bolted out the door and went into my room. As soon as the door was closed I leaned on the door. I placed my hand near my heart. As soon as I felt my heartbeat, I began to hate what I just did.

The beating of my heart just proved how wrong I was.

Because of this heart...

I lost the most important person in my life.

When my mother mentioned coming back to the Jungs I should have said no.

Everyone knew what happened years ago.

Still, they allowed me and my mother to stay with them.

Keeping who I really am from Sungye is a wrong choice.

But it's a choice that I made years ago...

I made a deal with the devil and now I have to pay for it.

Since the day I made that deal... I no longer carried the name Leeteuk.

That name doesn't suit me anymore.

I sat down and buried my face in my hands.

For the first time since that day when I lost everything... I allowed myself to let go.

Kissing Sungye like that just a while ago just proved how weak I am. I still loved her after all these years.
When I saw her that day in school after all these years made me think that things could start over between us. So when she aske me to be her pretend boyfriend, I said yes. I made the money as an excuse...

But the truth was...

I wanted to spend evey moment I could with her.

Then umma and I moved into their house. I thought... this could work.... I could start over with her... I could really do it...

But then... Siwon and his friends... they reminded me that I was thinking nonsense.

I made a mistake once and that was enough.

With that mistake, I lost everything that I've worked hard for.

My old life...

My family...

My career...

My hopes and dreams...

But most of all, Sungye.

I looked up, dried my tears and took off the necklace from my neck. The last thing that Sungye gave me before everything changed. The necklace was a locket and inside it was something very precious to me and Sungye.

It was something that would bring everything back.

That's why, Sungye must never have this.

I walked over to my desk and unlocked the desk drawer. I placed the necklace inside and closed it.

I slipped. I let my emotions get the best of me. Kissing Sungye was a mistake and I would have to do something to take it back.

Sungye cannot fall for me and I can't fall for her.

Not until this heart is beating.