Taecyeon sat at his desk, focusing – trying to focus – on reviewing a contract for one of the company mergers. He tried, but inevitably failed, sighing to himself as he threw his pen halfway across the desk and sat back in his chair. Why was he like this?

   He knew, of course he knew.

   His mind being a blur of emotions was Junho’s doing.

   It was frustrating, but he wasn’t angry, he couldn’t be angry. It was also heart aching. How much he wanted to see the younger man, how he wanted to caress the smooth cheek and kiss those soft lips. It had been all of eleven hours since he last saw the man and already his mind was going crazy from how much he missed the other’s company.

   Maybe it was kismet that knocked on his door, but Taecyeon looked up just in time to see the door opening.

   Junho’s face peeked through the door and then he smiled, tiredly, and stepped into the office. “Good morning~” Junho’s voice was weak, like he was trying to hide a sore throat.

   Concern shot through the older male. “Are you okay, Junnie?” Taec stood up and closed the distance between them. “You didn’t look too good last night.” He wrapped his arms around the smaller man and hugged him gently, carefully. With nothing but love.

   “Yah, I brought you something.” Junho smiled as he pulled out of the hug, holding up the small pink bakery box Taecyeon hadn’t noticed. “I know it’s not much, but . . . I felt bad about having to leave last night.”

   Taec grinned and took the box, excitedly looking inside. His eyes widened at the beautiful mini-cake that was inside. “Omo, it looks delicious!” He hugged his Junho again. “Thank you, Junho.” He was honestly surprised, since they had never given each other gifts before, even if it was only food. Taecyeon felt his heart race with happiness. “Junho,” He took a deep breath and smiled with all of his heart. “I have to tell you something.”

   Junho raised an eyebrow at the seriousness. “What is it?”

   “Junho . . . I–”

   The office door swung open and CEO Park stepped into the room, followed by Nichkhun.

   God freaking damn it, NOW?! Taec put on his best smile and turned to his seonsaengnim. “Mr. Park, what a pleasure.”

   “Have you thought about that offer, Taecyeon?” CEO Park crossed his arms and stared the Taecyeon down.

   “Actually, I have.” Taec couldn’t help but notice the look of confusion on Junho’s face. “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to respectfully decline.” He bowed.

   “Are you kidding me?” Mr. Park said. “Taecyeon, do you know how much money you’re turning down?”

   “More money than I could ever justifiably spend, but the answer is the same.” Taec smiled.

   With a sigh, Mr. Park looked away and then back at him. “Why do you refuse? Is it not enough money for you?”

   Taecyeon smirked at the older man’s assumption. “On the contrary . . . it has nothing to do with money,” Taec’s eyes flashed to Junho and then he smiled more. “I simply have a few things keeping me here in Seoul. I have no intention whatsoever on giving them up.”

   “So you’re willing to let your company lose one of their biggest deals?” The ahjussi tried to persuade him.

   “No, I have a suggestion,” He smiled when Mr. Park nodded, waiting to hear it. “Give the job to Nichkhun.” Everyone’s eyes went wide except for Junho, who had no idea what anyone was talking about.

   “M-Me?!” Nichkhun spoke for the first time, raising his eyes questionably at Taecyeon.

   Taec nodded. “Mr. Horvejkul is more than capable of doing the job, and in many ways his skills are more refined than mine . . . he’s even more fluent in Japanese.”

   The CEO turned to Nichkhun. “Do you want this job?”

   Khun blinked for a moment and then looked at Taecyeon, smiling as he bowed to their CEO. “Yes sir, I would be honored to accept this job.”

   “Wonderful!” Mr. Park said, there was no amusement in his tone. The older man turned to Junho and nudged his shoulder. “You, go get me a coffee from Starbucks. Black.” Junho smiled and bowed, mumbling a ‘yes sir’ before running out of the office.

   Taecyeon watched the boy disappear and then sighed, as his attempt to confess was completely shot to hell.

Junho sighed as he stood in front of his bathroom mirror, pulling his suit off. Taecyeon had offered to drive him home, but he declined. He needed the alone time, but he hated being alone. He reached into the drawer next to the sink and rummaged around until he found what he was looking for, pulling one of the round pads with makeup remover soaked into them out of the package and gently wiping his cheek.

   The deep purple bruise on his mid-cheek had taken three layers of cover up to hide, but he hid it. He sighed, throwing the soiled pad in the trash bin.

   Junho undid his tie and hung it on the hanger, ing the first few buttons of his shirt and stopping at the first sight of the mark along his collarbone. He closed his eyes as he finished taking his clothes off and got in the shower. The water was only slightly soothing as it ran down his back and he dipped his head down, letting the warmth soak away the pain. Everything.

   He tilted his head, opening his mouth and filling it with water and then spitting it out before rinsing his hair thoroughly, grabbing his shampoo.

   When he was done, he wrapped a towel around himself and stepped out of the bathroom, freezing once he got to the bedroom.

   He was there, sitting on the edge of the bed. Junho swallowed thickly and tightened the towel around himself, a steady fear spreading through him as his eyes roamed the form on the bed. Chansung looked up at him, focusing on the smaller man’s chest, and then the bruise on his cheek. The wounds of his forced love that he himself put there.

   Junho turned away, walking right back into the bathroom and slamming the door, locking it.

   The door rattled as Chansung pounded his fist on it, pleading through the barrier. “Junho, open the door.” Junho closed his eyes, determined not to cry. “Jun, open the ing door!!” He flinched when the other raised his voice and shook his head, rummaging around through the dirty clothes hamper and pulling on the sweats and t-shirt he wore to bed last night . . . he tried to wear to bed last night. “Jun . . . please, Jun . . . open the door. I won’t hurt you– I won’t hurt you anymore . . . I’m sorry.” Junho stilled after he pulled his shirt down, looking at the closed door and feeling his heart hurt. He walked up to the door and rested his forehead against it.

   “You told me that, a long time ago . . . remember?” He mumbled, but was sure the other heard it because then there was silence. Painful, killing silence.

   “Jun . . . I know I’ve done bad things, but you’re not leaving me– you can’t leave me.” Chansung spoke through the door. Junho felt like they would probably touch foreheads if the door wasn’t there. “I’m an . . . but you are too.” That made Junho’s eyes open. “The only difference is that I’m not stupid, Junho. Do you really think I didn’t see you with that guy?” Oh no. “I watched you two holding hands all the way to his car.”

   He didn’t know what compelled him, but he pulled away from the door and unlocked it, staring at the handle for a long time before reaching to turn the doorknob, opening it.

   The taller man stood close to the threshold of the door, looking at the smaller. “Is he ing you?”

   Junho didn’t answer, not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t. His voice wouldn’t work.

   “I said are you letting him you, Junho?”

   He nodded. Chansung didn’t look angry, he looked . . . disappointed. “I . . .” Junho sighed and looked down. He knew it was over, but it didn’t hurt like he thought it would. After a few minutes of silence, Junho stepped past the other, only to be grabbed tightly by his arm.

   “Where are you going?” Chansung demanded.

   “I have to go– I have to leave.” Junho pulled his arm free and was shocked that he wasn’t met with resistance.

   “You don’t have to go,” The taller growled. “You really don’t want to . . . Think about this, Junho. Think about us. Once it’s over, it’s over . . . And it’ll be you who destroyed it. Do you really want to let us fail?”

   “What us are you talking about, Chan?! There is no us!” Junho yelled back. “It’s just me . . . me alone . . . me alone thinking of you, wishing things were different while we go around ing other people. I’m sick of this!!” Junho screamed through his forming tears, forcing them back the best he could.

   “Why do you say things like that?! Why are you like this now?!”

   “You know exactly why, Chansung . . . Do I really have to explain it?”

   Chansung looked away and sighed heavily. “I’m sorry . . . but I love him, Channie. I used to love you, but you didn’t want me . . . And now, I’m finally ready to leave, so let me.” It felt amazing to say the words, to mean them. He felt empowered and he felt free. “You can have the apartment, you can have the car, you can have everything . . . I hope you find someone you actually love.” He stepped into the bedroom and pulled a small duffle from the closet, filling it with clothes and the few things he couldn’t bear to part with. The deep voice stopped him.

   “I’m not letting you leave, Jun.” Junho looked up at Chansung as he stood in the doorway, eyes burning. “So just put your clothes away, and we’ll work this out.”

Taecyeon left work late, feeling like . He still mulled over the fact that he almost confessed to Junho. He had seen his lover and he walked up to the smaller man as he stood in the office lunch room, making coffee. When he slid his arms around Junho’s slender waist and kissed his neck, Junho gasped and pushed him away before running out of the room. Junho avoided him for the rest of the day.  

   Now, Taecyeon sat in his car, parked in the driveway.

   He didn’t move, from lack of motivation.

   After nearly an hour, he finally got out of the car and made his way inside the villa that seemed exceptionally deserted today. The single thought clouded his mind, leaving an overcast shadow of despair and emptiness. Why had Junho pushed him away?

   The many possibilities scared him.

   What if Junho was already getting tired of him?

   Maybe he had changed his mind about their pact and no longer wanted to be friends.

   The pain was unbearable. Taecyeon scanned his fridge, looking for comfort food. The only thing in there was the cake Junho had given him that morning, but he refused to eat it. He knew that it would only taste like sadness. He was too distressed to go grocery shopping, so he searched his cabinets and settled on a pack of ramen for his dinner. It was neither comforting, nor the best tasting. But it was―

   The doorbell rang and Taec nearly ran to answer it.

   He smiled at the figure that he knew oh too well standing at his doorstep, until he saw the bruise on Junho’s cheek and he frowned. “Yah~ What happened to you?!” He pulled Junho inside the house and hugged him close, realizing that there was a duffle bag attached hooked on the smaller one’s shoulder and he simply looked upset.

   “Taecyeon . . . can I stay here tonight?” Junho asked softly.

   Taecyeon looked down at the man and questioned the tattered sleep clothes he was wearing, then he noticed how ruffled Junho’s hair was, like he’d just washed it and not styled it. Which was unlike the younger man.

   The look in Junho’s pleading eyes told him that something had happened. “Of course, Junnie. You can stay here as long as you want.”

   With relief, Junho dropped his bag to the floor and hugged him. Taecyeon embraced the young one and looked down, filled with questions that he wanted answers to. And he wanted them now. “Junho . . . be honest with me, please.” He said, pulling Junho’s chin up so the other was forced to see him, to see how serious he was and that he needed to know what happened.

   Junho frowned and closed his eyes. “Taec, I . . . I want to tell you . . . but I need some time. Just a little time and I swear I’ll be completely honest. I just . . . I need you to hold me tonight.” The small eyes filled with those bitter, salty tears and Taecyeon cupped Junho’s cheek, mindful of the bruise.

   How could he force Junho to talk about something that obviously hurt him? He couldn’t. He never would. Taec leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Junho’s, lightly the younger’s cheek. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to . . . Just tell me when you can, okay?”

   Junho’s tense form relaxed and he clung into him more. “I’m so happy I have you.”

   Taecyeon smiled, it wasn’t big, and it wasn’t eye crushing. It was just a smile. A movement that defined his heart and all of his senses in that exact moment, when he heard the sweet words from the voice that he loved. Junho was happy. And so was he. There was nothing better than that simple thing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5cmVNKpuzc

To be continued