Daisy

“Oh! They’re here.” Baekhyun says.
I’d rather not look. He clearly mentioned that Jongin is coming, I don’t want to see him. Well I do, but I’m scared and terrified of what is ahead of me. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much, I mean I can just enjoy the moment. He’s not going to eat me. I can hardly breathe when his cologne is filling the air, I recognize it from that night. I can’t believe that I can smell him now! That’s a new thing..

“Hey guys, I want you to meet Sunny and Daisy. I’ve run into them earlier and asked them to have lunch with us.” Baekhyun introduces us as he chewed on his meat, loudly.
Both Sunny and I turn around to face the boys. I feel him around me, what an aura! When our eyes meet, I feel shivers down my spine. It’s like he is able to electrify me through his gaze which is weird because he doesn’t know me.

“Oh, I know you!” He says while he points at me.
Wait-what? He recognizes me.

“Oh, I don’t think we have met before.” I deny it. Stupid!
Why! Whyyyyy? Why am I like this?

“Yes we have. Five days ago, at night. We even took ten pictures together, remember?” His excitement slowly dies as he keeps on trying to make me remember.

“I think you’re mistaken!”
I want to leave, and probably cry. There was no apparent reason for me to lie, but I'm lying through my teeth because it feels like it would prevent my heartache. He was bright and cheerful until I denied meeting him, now he's looking down.

“Well I was there, and I have to admit, whoever that girl was, she looked exactly like you.” Chanyeol says.

'you shhhhhhhhuuuuuushhhhhhhh' I want to say...

“That’s because that’s her! But she is a shy person in nature so please take it into consideration. She usually gets nervous and scared when she is under the scope like she is now.” Sunny exposes me.

“Sunny!!!” I groan.

“What? You’ll thank me later.” She shudders her shoulders.

“I like living in South Korea, it’s pretty amusing and, well, cheerful for me at least.”she switches the topic which is something I am thankful for, but for most of the time, they do the talking and I do the listening.  
What is it that makes me so afraid of him? Is it deceit? Or perhaps the truth? I tried to keep myself from drowning into my thoughts by looking at them once in a while, but it seems that my eyes are set on him, and his on mine.

“Daisy, you’ve been awfully quiet! Is there something on your mind?” Chanyeol said.

“uhm...No-"
"yes," Sunny interrupts me, "Daisy is worried about so many things. She has a lot on her plate, and she is under so much stress." She says. "But this person here," she points at me, "is not Daisy, it's her evil twin sister Dana. She keeps on trying to ruin Daisy's life, and I WILL KILL HER IF SHE RUINS THIS FOR US!" She yells the last part at me, and I immediately break into laughter. 

"This is Daisy, the stressed one, who happened to not have any sisters." She explains her joke to the confused men.

"So Daisy, what are you worried about?" Suho asks.

your friend.

"I-uhm, I'm... can I write this down first? I will probably say something so stupid that I will regret for the rest of my life." I say.

"But despite my worries, I am usually this shy when I first meet people. I'm sure it will be different the next time I see you." I add.
It takes me a few minutes to excuse myself to catch a breath. I feel overwhelmed, more like suffocated. I love him again, and I hate it. He has so much power over me, it’s so unfair.

“This is my second time meeting you, yet you’re still the same. You said that you’d change the second time you meet someone!” Jongin’s voice and scent fill the air.

“I’m not sure what you’re expecting me to say.” I say.
I’m still hurt. I still cry when I think of you! I still feel the pain when I see your pictures with her! I hate you, and I thought that I don’t love you anymore, but here I am right in front of you, pushed to an edge, still in love with you. You are you, and I am me, whether it is a dream or reality. 

“Nothing at all.” He says. “I’ll head back in.” He adds. 
“Yeah, let us go back in.” I say.
I followed his steps reluctantly. I mean he doesn’t know me. I’m just a stranger to him, she… she is not. I still see people shipping them together, saying that they are the hottest couple. It hurts, it hurts because I love him still. I tried building up a wall to separate my love for him and his love for her so that I wouldn’t be hurt anymore, but here he is triggering all my feelings and scars. I’m right behind him. I can see his back from up close and for a strange reason, I can feel his warmth. I want to touch him, feel him, but it’s just impossible. We are not meant to be. A sigh escapes me before I even allow it to, that’s when he looks back at me. He studies my face, my eyes in particular, so I can't really hide anywhere anymore, he corners me.
“Have I done anything wrong? You seem like a fan, you’re cheerful and bright with the other members, why are you sad around me?” He asks. “You’re frowning and sighing and running all the time. Why are you sad?”

I look down, trying my best to escape his eyes. But he doesn't leave me any chance to run. He brings his face down to meet my level of height.

"Tell me, Daisy, what have I done that could have caused you this much pain? Cause I know you like me." He asks.

That's it. That's as far as I could hold in. I burst into tears right in front of him.

"Don't cry. Oh God, what have I done!" He freaks out.

"Why are you crying?" He cups my face with his large hands and lifts my face to meet his. "Huh, why are you crying?"

“Because they’re all back to me! My feelings for you! I thought I moved on. I thought I was fine, but seeing you awakened all of my buried emotions, those I tried so hard to move on from. You’re here wondering why I’m sad, it’s interesting. You don’t know me, that’s why I’m sad." I sob. 
He won't understand, after all, I'm just temporary in his life.

"You don’t know how much I love you. You don’t know and you won’t know. You won’t know. That's why I'm sad. So instead of letting my heart break, I thought I should attempt to protect it. Maybe