summary: mina lets the person she loves go and entrusts her to the person who she feels very indebted to

-here's another one i got from my dusty folder of stories. i still love confession stories haha

-but really, writing this was just me venting out what i was feeling at that moment (and the other moment lol) and im just really sad so i decided to finish this last night :))) hope everyone's feeling at least okay. if not, stay reaching out to people for help or anything. kbye!

 

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  nayeon and mina became friends through mina's cousin, sana. mina finds it difficult to be comfortable with people and make friends but with nayeon, it was easy. she is the only person that mina feels comfortable with aside from sana.

 

 

 

  the latter’s family, the minatozakis, adopted mina after her parents died when she was 15. now, she's 25 and has moved out from the minatozaki house. she's in love and in a relationship with jeongyeon. they've been together for three years now. everything felt perfect during those three years until some of the love that they built together and shared slowly fell into little pieces and only half of it stands now.

 

 

 

  lately, mina's been noticing that her girlfriend has been going out with her friends more and leaves for work earlier than usual. she said her schedule has been moved to an earlier shift but mina wonders why she goes home too late. sometimes she comes home even after midnight. jeongyeon used to immediately come home straight from work, unless one of them brought the other somewhere for a date or when they just want to eat outside.

 

 

 

  mina could feel she's not jeongyeon's priority anymore. she's not the person jeongyeon calls anymore when something good or bad happens at work or when her favorite volleyball team wins or loses. it used to be always mina first before anyone and anything else but now, mina is left wondering what went wrong.

 

 

 

  jeongyeon used to give her words of affirmation whenever she felt sad and insecure. mina thinks that she’s overly needy but jeongyeon always told her otherwise. she used to say that mina’s enough that she’s not useless, that she's worthy, that she deserves the world and that she would give it to mina if she could. she used to refer to mina as her favorite person, but she's not jeongyeon's favorite person anymore. jeongyeon doesn't leave sticky notes with cute messages on their vanity mirror anymore—saying that she loves her and that she's amazing and all sorts of encouragements and assurances… because jeongyeon doesn't love her anymore. all of this faded away like how the morning fog disappears—slow and gradual—and the one experiencing it wouldn’t notice it until the the sun has fully risen.

 

 

 

  it has been a few months and even without jeongyeon saying it, mina knows that jeongyeon doesn’t love her anymore. it's not hard to decipher but it makes mina feel stupid. stupid for staying but not doing anything about it. she’s too scared to lose her. she doesn't know what she would do if they broke up. she's too used to jeongyeon and the apartment they share where she has established a daily routine that she has become accustomed to. she's scared of the changes that will happen if she loses jeongyeon. but nayeon tells her it would not be much of a loss because jeongyeon has only been nothing but a roommate to her for months now. nothing but an existence in the same space she lives in. they don't even talk anymore. when jeongyeon arrives, mina's already sleeping. then mina wakes up to a half empty bed every morning.

 

 

 

  mina remembers vividly how her ethics professor back in her second year in college told his class that relationships usually only last for three to five years, unless both the people involved in the relationship make it work and don't let go no matter how hard or boring things get. it was just a simple conversation with the class but it stuck with mina. mina and jeongyeon’s relationship has been going for over three years and maybe their relationship has come to a dead end. it’s like something she learned from one of her psychology classes: the peter principle, which is promoting employees until they reach the level in the corporate ladder where they wouldn’t be competent and effective anymore. so it would be better to not go on further because it will only do bad than good. nayeon tells her this and mina thinks she might be right.

 

 

 

  for the first time, jeongyeon goes home and walks up to their bedroom with no one sleeping there. although she feels guilty for not sending mina a text to ask where she is, she's glad the other woman isn't home because finally, she can have the apartment all to herself. but she texts mina to let her know she's already home. she missed the feeling of
 
    being home
 
  without worrying about anything or a particular person. she has been craving this alone time at home for a long time.

 

 

 

  mina's at nayeon's place. they’re sitting on the floor with their backs at the edge of nayeon’s queen-sized bed. she was the first person mina thought of telling about what’s happening to her and jeongyeon’s relationship. nayeon’s shoulder was the first one mina cried on and her arms the first that comforted her after realizing that the person she loves doesn't care about her anymore; after crying every night, lonely and alone on her bed; and after bottling up all her feelings and thoughts to herself.

 

 

 

  “i need her. i don’t think i could find someone else who will understand me and tolerate my personal issues.”

 

 

 

  “there’s a lot of other people that are even better than her, mina. im sure you’ll find someone else who won’t allow you to be alone in this world.” nayeon says, feeling mina’s body shake because of crying. "i know it's difficult right now and it will be for a long time but you're gonna be okay." nayeon's words are sweet yet sharp to mina's heart. aside from jeongyeon, she's never had anyone to tell her things that made her feel good and safe.

 

 

 

  what mina does after jeongyeon would tell her sweet things is kiss her and allow her lips to do the conveying of her heart's contents to the other woman. and right now, mina feels so safe inside nayeon's warm arms—even safer than when she was with jeongyeon. it's a strange thing but mina doesn't think and only allows what she’s feeling at the moment to control her which is a rare thing for someone like her who tends to think over things first before doing anything. mina unwraps her arms from nayeon’s waste and pushes her hands on the bed to pull herself from the other woman’s shoulder—whose shirt is now soaked with mina’s tears. the latter wipes her tears with the back of her hands and nayeon takes some tissue to help her dry her face. mina pauses for a moment, just looking at her friend as she calms herself from crying. she then starts leaning in. her movement isn’t slowly but not too quick to miss nayeon responding by leaning in as well. they kiss. it started slow then the pace progresses. mina’s kisses are angry but nayeon’s are hungry, passionate. like she’s finally having the meal she’s been craving for–tasting so good, she moans. mina starts moving and straddling her. after a few minutes, nayeon feels mina's warm tears drip and roll on her face. so nayeon kisses her harder, opening wider to give way to her tongue to make its entrance into mina's mouth. mina meets nayeon's tongue with her own. mina closes her eyes tightly, frustrated for crying again. she's still not broken up with jeongyeon so she feels guilty for cheating on her like this but she’s too angry to ponder about that right now. she’s so angry that for once she doesn’t want to care about what jeongyeon would feel if she knew about this. but mina missed to consider the person she’s doing it with. instead, she kisses nayeon more.

 

 

 

  mina is trying hard to forget about the pain and nayeon does her best to help her.

 

 

 

  their makeout led them to nayeon’s bed, their clothes on the floor, and their bodies against each other.

 

 

 

  "break up with her. don't allow her to do it to you. you dont deserve it." nayeon tells her. their bodies now wrapped in white sheets.

 

 

 

  the next day, after spending the night with nayeon, mina goes home and breaks up with jeongyeon. she packed her things and left without looking back because that's what nayeon had told her the night before,
 
    "don't feel guilty, you're doing it for yourself. when you leave, don't look back. don’t give her any hope if she tries to stop you."
 

 

 

 

  jeongyeon got hurt when mina told her she’s breaking up with her—or maybe it was her pride that got hurt. and maybe it’s because of habituation that she wanted to stop mina from leaving but she allows her to go. she wanted freedom anyway but not like this. she didn’t want to be the one feeling left behind because she was supposed to be the one leaving. she was the one who wanted to leave first. 

 

 

 

  it has been weeks since the break up and mina has been entertaining the feelings she has been having for nayeon. being around her, mina feels safer and confident. just as she's starting to realize what her feelings meant, she learns that her cousin, sana, is in love with the same girl.

 

 

 

  They’re at the afterparty of a mutual friend’s wedding. mina’s outside looking for nayeon. she finds the girl behind a tree and is about to call out her name but stops herself when she sees her cousin standing in front of nayeon, back against the tree.

 

 

 

  mina doesn’t want to eavesdrop but she can’t not hear their voices as they have a serious conversation.

 

 

 

  “i’ve been in love with you and i want to ask you to give me a chance.” sana is hopeful as she hands nayeon a bouquet of flowers.

 

 

 

  mina feels a sting in her chest when she heard what sana said. she takes a few steps back. she wants to hear nayeon’s response but decides to go back to her car because what she’ll hear might just break her. she decides to leave at once.

 

 

 

  now she’s inside her car, she takes a glance at the spot where sana and nayeon are talking and sees through the window the two women hugging and nayeon holding the bouquet with her one hand.

 

 

 

  mina steps on the gas pedal and drives away as her heart sinks. she wanted to interrupt the two and tell nayeon that she loves her but she gave up without doing anything because how could she not when it’s for her cousin's happiness whose family is the one who raised her and provided for her for years before she moved out on her own. how could she not give away
 
    everything
 
  she wants when they gave her everything she needed. 

 

 

 

  the next few days has started to becomd colder as they enter the winter season and nayeon still hasn’t receive any texts from mina nor had her calls returned. she went to her apartment multiple times but mina wasn’t there anymore every time she goes. nayeon is a nurse and her shift is usually at night so that explains it.

 

 

 

 
    “mina, what happened? are you avoiding me?”
 
  she texts mina.

 

 

 

 
    “please talk to me. i’m going crazy over here. i have something important to tell you.”
 
  she texts mina again the next day, waiting outside the latter’s apartment one afternoon.

 

 

 

 
    “i’ll be at the capital restaurant. meet there. i’ll wait and not leave until you come.”
 
  nayeon waited until the restaurant closed but mina didn’t arrive.

 

 

 

  as soon as mina sees the notifications, she deletes the messages right away, trying not to read any word from the texts.

 

 

 

  a few more days later, nayeon sends her a message, the final one. if she still ignores her, she will sacrifice her sleep for a day and go to mina’s apartment once again, hoping she won’t miss her this time.

 

 

 

  “mina, are you avoiding me? im worried about you. please talk to me. i gotta tell you something.”

 

 

 

  and again, mina ignores her text.

 

 

 

  one morning, after her shift, she goes straight to mina’s apartment despite having to fight the sleepiness and tiredness in her body.

 

 

 

  she rings the doorbell but no one’s answering. a neighbor was passing by and told her that he saw mina leave a few minutes ago.

 

 

 

 
    “she’s still close.”
 
  nayeon thinks to herself and thanks the neighbor before dashing out.

 

 

 

  she’s crossing a street when she sees a familiar girl’s back. she’s wearing a thick coat like everyone else is but she’s seen that coat a lot before. “mina!” she calls out in foggy breath because of the cold air, and the girl turns her head around to see who’s calling her and if she is the one being called. “mina!” she hears again and then turns around after crossing the street.

 

 

 

  nayeon runs up to her. the one she misses the most is running towards her and although she wants to turn around and run away, her feet aren’t moving. even though the days of ignoring and avoiding her would go to waste if she didn’t leave now,
 
    she stayed
 
  , waiting for the other girl.

 

 

 

  “mina, why were you ignoring me?” nayeon says, crying and hugging her as soon as she reaches her. “you have no idea how much i missed you. i almost went crazy.”

 

 

 

  “i’m sorry, nayeon. i couldn’t face you after hearing sana confessing to you.” mina says. she also started crying as soon as she felt nayeon’s warmth.

 

 

 

  “you knew about that?”

 

 

 

  mina nods.

 

 

 

  “i was gonna tell you about it but you wouldn’t reply to my texts. you’re so mean.” 

 

 

 

  “i’m happy for you.” mina says, sniffing.

 

 

 

  “what? why would you be happy for me when you made me miserable for days.” nayeon says, still hugging her

 

 

 

  “i mean, im happy for you and sana.”

 

 

 

  “mina!” nayeon pulls away and holds her in the shoulders. “i told her i loved you so i rejected her.”

 

 

 

  “what?” mina asks softly. her eyes widened in surprise. both not noticing that snow flakes have started to fall..

 

 

 

  “i said i love you!” nayeon says a little too loud that the people around them gave them judging looks. “i said i love you.” nayeon repeats with a softer voice. “i love you.” she says again just in case the other girl missed it because she isn’t responding.

 

 

 

  “i thought you would take her.” mina finally says, a tear rolling down her cheek.

 

 

 

  “why would you think that when i made it so obvious to you that im in love with you” she takes a step closer to her. “i have been, for a long time.”

 

 

 

  “nayeon” mina says before hugging her again. “i love you too.”

 

 

 

  nayeon releases a deep breath of relief. she expected this response but it still surprised her and they’re very sweet to her ears. she pulls away a little from the hug, their bodies still close. she wipes mina’s tears and tucks some strands of hair behind the girl’s ear. then, she leans in to kiss her but mina avoids her lips. “why?”

 

 

 

  “there are so many people looking at us.” mina says, looking around shyly and nayeon follows doing the same.

 

 

 

  “okay.” she pulls away and takes mina’s hand in hers instead, intertwining their fingers. “we’ll save it for later.” she says, smiling at mina whose smile is beaming right back at her.

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thanks for reading

- @namyoim