Did I ever forgive him? You asked?

     Of course, I did. It’s been 1,440 years since those things happened. I think it’s time to give my forgiveness to him. Also, if you tried reading the Bible, God taught us how to forgive the people around us.

     Well, about reincarnation? It’s been hundreds of years since the converted angels knew that one of the factors in order for us to be reincarnated is to forgive someone. Strange right? Because I haven’t been reincarnated yet by Him. Sinner I’m not lying about forgiving my father. It’s just that I haven’t forgiven this person yet.

     Myself.

     After knowing that I took my own life, my heart is full of anger to myself. I don’t know how I concluded that it’s my own fault for taking my life, not my father. When I was holding the rope what I was thinking? Why did I let myself lose the cold, quiet war? Why didn't I think of pulling myself together and look at the brighter side? When I wrap that rope around my neck, it wasn’t Ben’s fault anymore, it’s mine. I can’t blame anyone but me. Because hanging on the ceiling? It was my own choice.

     Anger, it’s not only the emotion inside me. Regrets, they are here too. Since I came back from that mission, I keep daydreaming about the things I can do if I’m still alive. Having friends to hang out in the middle of the night, just laughing and letting my body flow on what’s happening. Ben s