Two weeks before rescue… 

The sky above them was a heavy gray, and it being a heaviness came the rain that was expected to fall that day. Their feet made wet smacks against the sidewalk in a hurry to try to make it out of the rain on their way home. Taemin was grateful that Haneul’s preschool wasn’t too far from the house, or else they probably would have been even more drenched than they wanted to be. 

They turned the corner of the street where rows of homes lined either side. After passing a few of the homes, Taemin led Haneul through the small fence, up the yard to the front door of the house. Once the both of them had the door shut behind him, Taemin knelt down and began helping Haneul take his blue, polka dotted raincoat. 

“Uncle! I can do it myself!” Haneul protested to Taemin as he started to pull at the buttons of his coat. Taemin leaned back in amusement, watching his young nephew effortlessly take his coat off and kick off his wet rubber boots. Haneul looked back up at his uncle for approval, to which Taemin nodded his head and raised his eyebrows in surprise. 

“Wow! I guess you don’t need my help anymore, Haneul-ah!” Taemin laughed as he stood up and began to take off his own coat. The young child smiled with a nod and asked his uncle if he could go play, to which Taemin approved. The small padder of feet against the wood floor caught Taemin’s ears as he hung both of their coats away in the closet by the front door and lined their boots up neatly. 

This was the normal, daily routine of their household. Ever since Minho had been deployed in the army, Taemin had taken up more responsibility to help around the house and most importantly, help take care of Haneul since Sohee would often work late nights at the restaurant. Taemin was more than happy to help take care of his nephew, or else what kind of uncle would he be? 

These nights happened to be one of the nights that Sohee would be working late. On nights such as these, Taemin took the time to spend with Haneul. They would play hide and seek, Lego’s, maybe squeeze in some Mario Kart before Taemin made some dinner for the both of them, and eventually even give Haneul a bath. By the time Sohee would come home, Taemin had just put his nephew to sleep. 

“I’m so sorry for coming home late, Taemin-ah.” Sohee apologized profusely, feeling embarrassed and even ashamed that the one duty she was expected to fulfill, went undone.

“You don’t have to apologize, noona,” Taemin said in a tired, but friendly voice. If anything, he was mostly always expecting the leftovers Sohee would bring home from the restaurant that they would have otherwise have thrown away. To Sohee, it wasn’t an even exchange, but to Taemin, food was the ultimate exchange. 

Taemin sat at the island in the kitchen with Sohee standing across from him. They both picked at their food in the boxes she had brought home, and although at this time, Taemin wasn’t necessarily hungry, he wanted to at least keep Sohee company. 

Quietly and without looking up, Sohee asked, “Has he asked again?”

Taemin stuffed a good amount of noodles in his mouth before answering. “As he usually does.” He looked up at Sohee, who wasn’t eating and he could see that her eyes were welling with tears. 

Immediately Taemin felt bad. “Don’t worry, noona, once hyung comes back from his tour, things will be back to normal. Trust me.” 

Sohee looked up at Taemin and quickly wiped away at her tears. She nodded quietly in agreement and sighed out her sadness. Taemin hated when he saw her like this, it always pained him as well because as much as he also wanted to be sad and worried for his brother, he knew he couldn’t be, at least not in front of Sohee. He knew he had to be strong for her, and to be a positive light for her. He offered his hand to her, which he knew would make Sohee feel better when she gently grasped his hand to hold. 

“Thank you, Taemin-ah.” 

  *   *   * 

There was a deep and pounding ache that started at the crown of his head and traveled down between his eyes, to his collar bones, and fingertips. The ache was always in time with his heartbeat it seemed and as much as he would try to focus on his heartbeat instead, the pain always lingered more than he wanted. 

Minho sat in a dark cell by himself. He sat up against the wall in silence as his mind swam in his thoughts. He didn’t even know what day it was, let alone the time of day. There was no communication outside of this prison. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had eaten, but eating food wasn’t his biggest concern. The biggest thoughts that were on his mind were when would he be free and if he would even survive to see his family… to see Sohee, Haneul, his brother Taemin…

It was times like these where the actual peace and quiet that he, along with the other prisoners received, were the moments that they could collect themselves and rest. The torture they endured was unlike anything that Minho had ever witnessed or experienced. Just yesterday, three “lucky” prisoners were taken out of their cells, only to be beaten on with a lead pipe, to be strangled, had their heads dunked in the one toilet that was outside of their cells. Minho had been one of those lucky three. It came to no surprise that he would be chosen, since he was part of the South Korean army force. The rest of the prisoners were North Korean defectors that were in the army that had been caught trying to escape. 

Minho had been aware and had even read the tactics that the North Korean army would use against South Korean soldiers, but the degree of which they took it, was beyond what he could have comprehended. His whole body was beyond being sore or aching, he couldn’t place what he was feeling other than that any time that he moved felt painful. His toes were curled not only because of the cold floor, but also because he was weary of the rats that traveled between cells. Knowing that the vermin was nearby was ultimately hard to even sleep and even more so when other prisoners would cry out from being bitten by them or days later, getting sick from them. 

The last thing that Minho wanted was a painful death of being bitten by a rat. 

As he sat in the darkness, alone, cold, and quietly, he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the one picture that he did save. The moment that the North Korean government took him as a hostage, they immediately had stripped him down out of his army uniform. They took away his dog tags, his weapons of course, pretty much anything that would give some form of identity. The one thing that he made sure that wouldn’t be taken away from him was the picture of his little family. He didn’t need a light to see their faces, the picture was engraved in his mind, but it wouldn’t hurt if he could have just seen their faces in the small wallet sized photo one last time… 

Minho could feel the lump that had formed in his throat but he forbade himself to shed a tear. Not here, not in this place. He swallowed it down as much as it strained him to do so and he closed his eyes tightly to prevent any of the tears from falling. He knew that the South Korean government and army had to have been discussing negotiations or at least ways to get him back to South Korean soil, but when days turned into weeks, and when he had lost track of the weeks, he figured that perhaps he had become a lost cause. Or perhaps the North Koreans had made a lie about him and reported him dead. After all, they still carried his uniform and dog tags. 

In the corner of the room, he heard the heavy door open and the dim lights . It was “show time” as they called it here. 

Minho immediately stuffed the picture back into his pocket and waited. He had learned the hard way the first week that by fighting back only meant more torture. By fighting back meant more days without food and by fighting back meant more days that he would be locked up like some animal and never to see daylight again. 

There were heavy footsteps of steel toed boots of at least three or four other North Korean soldiers. With his head bowed down, he could see some flashlights were scattering around each cell and at least two circles of light shined into his. They unlocked his cell and immediately, two soldiers pulled him out from his cell. They dragged Minho to one area of the room where he stood before the rest of the prisoners. The other soldiers were yelling at the prisoners to get out of their cells, to hurry up and to stand in line. When everyone was accounted for, the one soldier spoke. 

“You, that serves for the South Korean army, you were once a brother of ours,” The soldier began to speak his nonsense that Minho had learned to just listen to instead of tune out. “But now you are in our midst. You don’t seem to understand the crime that you commit against us, as we are the true Koreans, who serve none other than our Great Leader! Who do you serve? American pigs?” 

Minho stood quietly and didn’t answer. 

The soldier took his baton and struck Minho in the stomach with it that caused him to fall on his knees and gasp for air. 

“Until you confess your allegiance to the Great Leader, only then will we allow you to be free,” The soldier began again. “Do you confess?” 

Minho raised his head to look at the soldiers and the rest of the prisoners who only had blank faces. Showing any type of emotion other than stoic was just another easy way for them to get rid of you, but Minho knew that when it came to him, their way of torture was their favorite tactic. 

“No,” Minho breathed. “I refuse to confess such a thing.” 

The soldier snickered and titled with his head to his comrades. The other two soldiers went to Minho on either side of him and lifted him up on his feet. Each soldier took one of his arms to restrain him as the prisoners were ordered to punch Minho in his face. There were at least fifteen prisoners held captive here, and if it took fifteen punches, then that’s what it was going to take. 

And just like an assembly line, each prisoner punched Minho as they were ordered to do. Some were even encouraged to take it up a notch by kicking him. When it was finally over, Minho was dragged back to his cell and tossed onto the cold floor. The door behind him locked with a click and Minho struggled just to turn on his back. His body felt as though he was on fire and he could still feel the impact of the punches and kicks from minutes before. 

He stared at the ceiling whilst trying to catch his breath and swallow the blood that kept pooling in the back of his throat. When the dim lights finally turned off and the North Korean soldiers left the building, Minho closed his swollen eyes to find some type of peace. 

  *   *   *

“It’s really good to have you back home, hyung.” Taemin said while beaming at his brother. 

It was the first night that Minho was finally back home from the army. Both Sohee and Taemin had put together quite the spread for dinner that night and it was almost hard for someone to not dig in and stuff themselves. 

Minho looked up at Taemin, almost giving him a very distant, stoic look. He blinked a couple of times before realizing that he was even being spoken to and he quietly nodded his head to him. 

“Appa,” Came Haneul’s tiny voice. “Can we go to the park tomorrow?” 

Minho perked up immediately and seemed to have snapped out from his trance when Haneul spoke. He was just about to answer when Sohee cut him off. 

“Haneul-ah, appa needs to rest. He just got back home.” Sohee said sternly while adding more food to Haneul’s plate. The poor child looked immediately defeated. Taemin noticed the look that both Minho and Sohee exchanged and felt a little uncomfortable before he quickly chimed in. 

“Taemin Samchon will take you to the park, Haneul-ah! We let appa and umma rest for the day and we’ll tell them our adventures, no?” Taemin said in an excited voice that brought back a smile to the little boy’s face. It seemed to be encouraging enough to the boy that he began to eat his dinner. 

Taemin looked back at his brother with a small smile, hoping for approval. Instead, Minho had the same stoic look on his face, however he seemed a bit bothered. To say that he was being treated like a child would have been an understatement, but it was really how he was starting to feel. From Sohee speaking for him, to her fixing his plate for him, and Taemin speaking about him like he wasn’t there, instantly rubbed off on Minho the wrong way. 

By the time dinner was over, Taemin offered to wash the plates while Sohee took Haneul upstairs for his bath. Out of habit, Minho found a kitchen rag and held out his hand to Taemin. The youngest looked at his brother almost in shock but it was comforting to see Minho had his “old self” still in him somewhere. 

Taemin handed him the dripping plate. “I’m sorry if I overstepped, hyung, if you don’t want me to take Haneul to the park tomorrow, I won’t.” He said with slight worry in his voice, as if maybe he had crossed some boundaries. 

“It’s fine,” Minho finally spoke even though he was lying. He dried the plate quickly and put it away as he waited for Taemin to pass him another plate. 

There was an unsettling silence among the two of them. To Taemin, his brother was a different person now, and it was very hard to accept. Before going into the army, Minho was almost never quiet. The both of them acted more like children than they did adults, but here they were, treating each other almost as if they were strangers. 

Minho, on the other hand, was battling the images and events that kept replaying in his mind. Even if it had only been a short amount of time from being rescued and discharged, it didn’t mean that it was easily forgettable. On the outside, Minho was cold, but the reality was that he was simply trying to focus on getting the plates dried and put away. 

“Hyung?” Taemin’s voice broke through Minho’s concentration and he could tell. Minho was almost startled when he looked up at him. It worried Taemin, but he didn’t want to entertain it. Instead he motioned at the plate Minho was still drying. 

“If you wipe it anymore you’ll make a hole through it.” Taemin said as he chuckled. 

Minho looked down at the plate and to his discovery, it was already dry. The corners of his full lips curved halfway to a smile, but Taemin could see through it. As Minho put the plate away and waited for the rest of the dishes, Taemin stopped to reach for the rag. Minho backed away suddenly.

“It’s okay, hyung, I can finish the rest of the dishes tonight.” Taemin said softly, but he was surprised at Minho’s reaction. He had moved in such a way that was protective, fast and out of reach of getting hurt. Minho was glaring at him now, a look that Taemin was unfamiliar with. 

“I’m sure you’re tired--”

“I’m fine, just let me dry the plates.” Minho said sternly as he cut Taemin off. 

It was a silent stand off between the two of them, or so it seemed. Minho had never spoken to Taemin like that and it visibly hurt him as much as it concerned him. He knew there would be no changing of Minho’s mind, that is if..

“Appa!” 

Both brothers perked up as Haneul ran into the kitchen, the jet black hair combed but stringy from his bath. He wore his blue and green dinosaur pajamas, his favorite children’s book in hand. The young boy came into full view between his father and uncle and practically started shoving the book into his father’s arms. 

“Appa! Read to me! Juseyoo?” Haneul whined. 

Minho looked down at Haneul and then back at Taemin, who gave a soft smile. It took Minho a moment to finally say “yes,” as he placed the rag onto the countertop, his eyes never breaking from Taemin’s. 

“Yay! Up! Up, Appa!” Haneul said excitedly, stretching his arms over his head. Minho finally broke his gaze away from Taemin to reach down and pick up Haneul. As they walked out of the kitchen, Sohee had appeared to watch them leave. Taemin was already back to washing the dishes but Sohee could notice that something was bothering the younger brother, especially with the way his hair was covering his eyes. 

“Don’t worry about the dishes, Taemin-ah, they can be done in the morning.” She said softly as she neared him. Taemin didn’t respond, instead he reached for more dishes to clean.

“Taemin, what happened?” Sohee asked, now concerned about whatever had taken place with just the both of them alone. Taemin finally stopped scrubbing to look at his sister-in-law. She could tell by his face that he was hurt and he sighed. 

“Minho-hyung… he’s just not the same as he was before.” He choked out and broke away from her gaze. 

“I know,” Sohee said, agreeing with Taemin with a nod of her head. “It’s going to take some time… for everyone.”