Dara's POV

"Is that true? That I'm a liability?"

He swallows. "You're going to a place where I know you'll be safe. Then I'm going to go deal with this."

"You're dumping me somewhere?"

"I thought getting away from me was what you wanted."

"Really, you want to do this now?" I turn in my seat, all the better to face him. "Jiyong, you were never home. If it was your physical presence that pissed me off, all I had to do was stay right there. But it wasn't. Our relationship itself was complete and utter bull."

"In what way?" Now he sounds almost angry. This quite possibly the most honest emotion that I've had from him in forever. "Because I had to travel for work? To earn a living?"

"Because even when you were home, you were never really with me. Mentally and emotionally, you were elsewhere."

"That's absurd."

"To be fair, this whole discussion is pretty absurd."

The dirt road ends and we turn onto something resembling civilization. More houses. Occasional people and other cars. Signs of life, normal life. People going about their mornings without their whole world turned upside down and the threat of imminent death hanging over their heads.

"How was I not with you?" he asks, definitely getting testy. "Every time you wanted to about some idiot at work or talk about who Hwangbo was banging. I listened. Even when you were just repeating yourself, I was attentive and supportive."

"You know, I don't think you're as good at pretending to be interested in things as you think you are."

"I always let you pick what we watched on TV, let you decide what takeout we got."

"Is that all a relationship is to you?" I ask, any hint of a panic attack long forgotten. This insight into Jiyong's mind is fascinating. And somewhat disturbing.

"It wasn't all a lie, you know."

"Honestly?" I arched my eyebrows. "What part of it was real?"

"I wasn't lying when I said I love you."

I laughed. Maybe I shouldn't have, butI couldn't help it. "Well that's ironic. Because that was the one thing you said to me that I didn't believe."

"Why not?" He scowls. "There was intimacy. We had ."

At this, I scoff. I can't help it.

"What?'"

"Our life was not amazing."

It takes him a moment to respond. "The average cohabitating couple has approximately fifty-one times a year. When you deduct time spent away due to work, we met the average."

"We met the average? Huh," I say. "How I aspire to always meet the average. It's my life goal, really."

"Bring on the sarcasm. What a surprise."

"Oh, yeah? How's this for sarcastic, Jiyong? More often than not the -and not in the good way" So there. "I bought lingerie and read all of the stupid articles about tips for the bedroom. I tried to keep things interesting"

His fingers tighten around the steering wheel. "Most women don't manage to every time they have with their partners. I'm sorry, but I had to maintain the median...the illusion of us being a normal couple."

I just blink.

"It's a well-known fact. Studies show that-"

"Wait a minute," I say, my brain on fire. "Are you actually saying you researched the average relationship, worked out how often we should be having , and then only occasionally bothered to give me an when it suited your purposes?

"Not my purposes. Your purposes. I was trying to give you the relationship you wanted. Something safe. Normal."

"Give me your gun."I hold out my hand. "I'm going to shoot you."

"Dara,"

"Give me your gun."

"I'm not going to let you shoot me. Calm down."

"I don't want to calm down." So. Much. Rage. "Not only was the relationship fake, but you deliberately gave me bad ! You're a monster."

He gives me a side glance. "I was trying to keep things realistic, believable. I was trying to meet what I thought were your expectations."

"Oh, yeah? Well, expect to be smothered if you ever try to sleep next to me again." I straighten in the seat, staring out the windshield. "I can't even...there's a special level of hell for you, buddy."

"I gave you what you wanted. You said that's what you wanted."

"What?" I felt like my head was about to explode. "When? When did I ever say to you that I would prefer the worst possible?"

"Not to me. To Hwangbo. Before our first date. You said to her that you were sick of pining for Prince Charming. That something safe and good and comfortable would do."

"You were tapping my phone? Listening to my private conversations?"

"I needed to know you weren't going to be a security risk."

There are no words. I just glare at him.

"I tried to be a good boyfriend to you. A good fiancé."

"No, you didn't. You did the least amount of work possible to keep me pacified. Big difference, Jiyong. Big. Huge." I will not ery. I refuse to show weakness. At least I didn't expect the truth to actually fix anything. Yay me for being less naive. 

"Thank God."

"What?

"Thank God I raised my expectations high enough to realize I deserve better."

To this, he apparently again has nothing to say. Just as well.

"For so long, I thought it was me. That I wasn't pretty enough or smart enough or..just enough for you in general."

"Dara." His mouth opens, then closes again. "That's crazy."

Heart sore, I shake my head. "Just drive."

--

We drive north for hours. Jiyong is basically a machine. Like some killer robot sent from the future to up my love life. Clearly the world would have been doomed if I ed more than once a month, so the fate of humanity depended on this machine coming back and not getting the job done. Asshat.

His gaze is constantly moving between the road, the rearview mirror, me, and cars approaching on the driver's side. Guess he's watching to see if we're being followed. Also he may be slightly concerned I'm going to throw myself out of the moving vehicle in an attempt to get away from him. And I would; I'm angry enough. But it probably wouldn't end well for me personally. After being thrown about by yesterday's explosion, I hurt enough without adding further injuries. So instead, I ignore him with all the pent-up rage I have in me and mostly nap.

We drive until refilling the tank necessitates a stop that afternoon somewhere in northern. It's a small, desolate, off-the-highway gas station. Junk food, come to me. I haven't eaten in forever. We did stop about an hour back so I could pee behind a tree, since Jiyong's gone well beyond cautious and is sliding straight into outright paranoid territory when it comes to his concerns about people seeing us. Along with keeping up the constant vigilance, he swapped out the SIM card in his cell, crushing the old beneath his boot heel. 

Apparently his cell also has a program to check for trackers so he's sure the SUV is safe. And I know he's packing all sorts of weaponry beneath his clothes. 

"Thank God; I'm starving." I move to open my car door, but before I can, Jiyong grabs my arm. "What?"

"Please stay in the car. I''ll get you whatever you want."

"Why? There's no one else here but you, me, and the woman behind the counter. I highly doubt she's the least bit interested in us."

"Because even a dump like this is going to have security cameras that can be hacked and used to find us."

As much as I'd like to get out and stretch my legs, he's making sense again. Dammit. So I slump back against the seat. "Fine. Get me one of everything."

"Will do."

Jiyong grabs a baseball cap out of the back of the car and puts it on before stepping out. Head down, he avoids giving anyone or any camera a clear visual of his face. He skulks, yet makes it seem normal somehow. Just a man going about his business, nothing to see here. Inside, he fills up a basket before heading up to the counter to pay the bored-looking middle-aged lady at the register.

Even then, he moves with an easy everyday swagger, behaving in as uninteresting a fashion as possible. It's quite the performance. The slouch in his back reducing his height and the slump of his shoulders declaring him another harmless slacker passing through.

No wonder he had me fooled for so long. This man is a veritable wolf in sheep's clothing.

"You're a natural," I say as he climbs back in the car, handing over my bag of junk food.

"Hmm?"

"The way you move and behave and everything. So sneaky"

He turns on the engine, reaching over to grab the bag of Swedish Fish.

"Where did you learn it?"

His glances at me. "I'm not supposed to talk about that, Dara."

"Yeah, but I figure if you're right about us being stuck together for the foreseeable future-"

"Which, unless you'd prefer being dead, I am."

"Let me finish talking," I say. "Once we get through this, if we survive, I'm sure you can figure out a way to pacify your bosses while ensuring we spend as little time in each other's company as possible. You're a clever and cunning dude. It comes with the job territory, right? So we get your organization off our backs and live separate lives. See other people. Have our emotional and ual needs met elsewhere. "

"You're planning on cheating on me?"

I shrug. "Is it really cheating, though?"

The look he gives me is flat and unfriendly.

"Or," I continue, "you can start talking."

"Me talking is going to fix things?"

"Not even remotely." My laughter is completely without humor. "But here and now, we could maybe get along just enough to almost be friendly"

"Remind me: What's in this for me again?"

"Are you actually telling me you want to resurrect our relationship in some form?" I my head. "Seriously?"

The smallest of shrugs.

"That's honestly the best you can manage? And you wonder why I was leaving you, with such stellar communication skills as that. Wow."

"C'mon, Dara-"

"You know, you're the one who dragged me into this mess," I say, well and truly cranky now. "Basically, you talking would be a start toward attaining a little forgiveness and building some small level of trust between us..assuming you' re interested in that sort of thing."

Nothing from Jiyong. Perhaps he'll get sick of me and kill me himself.

After all, what do I know about this man really?

"Isn't it nice, having me all compliant and agreeable?" I ask.

"Isn't it nice, riding in comfort instead of being bound and gagged in the trunk of the car?"

What an utter and absolute douche-canoe. And this is about when I see it.

"Holy . A man is robbing the gas station."

"Is he?" Jiyong doesn't even turn to look. "Car's bulletproof. We're fine."

"Yes, but the woman behind the counter isn't. Oh my God, do something!"

He his head. "Dara, we're trying to stay under the radar. Crimes like this happen all the time. She's handing over the money. He's not going to shoot her."

"You can't know that for sure."

"What I do know is, if I go in there and spook him, odds are someone gets hurt."

Inside the station, the woman is pushing the cash and packets of cigarettes across the counter. She's crying and shaking. The robber stuffs all of the assorted loot into the pockets of his sweatpants and hoodie.

"Oh, this is horrible."

"See, he's leaving without a shot being fired."

"That poor woman. She might lose her job. I wonder if she even has medical insurance. You'd have to get post-traumatic stress disorder from something like this, right?"

The heaviest of sighs comes from the man in the driver's seat. "Put your seat belt on," he orders. "Now."

I do as told.

Jiyong swears under his breath. His eyes are locked on mine, but suddenly the SUV jumps forward, tires screeching as he suddenly slams on the brake.

We don't hit the robber. Or at least, I didn't think we did, but he is on the ground sereaming, so obviously something happened.

The driver's side door is flung open, hitting something with a dull thud. I think it was the gunman's head. Then Jiyong steps out, grabs the pistol out of the bad guy's hand, before settling himself back into the car.

"Is he dead?"

"No," says Jiyong. "I just ran over his foot and knocked him out. Couple of broken bones and a concussion. The lady at the counter is already calling the cops. She'll get the cash back, and he'll be fine. It'll be educational for him."

Huh.

With more squealing of wheels, we take off. Guess Jiyong wants as much distance between us and the gas station as possible.

"A couple of broken bones and a concussion?" My stomach turns queasily at the thought. "That's all?"

"Yes."

"Ouch," I say. "Still, thank you for not being a complete sociopath."

"You're welcome. But we can't save everyone, okay?"

"Okay."

In all honesty, I'm kind of stunned. He did a nice thing, sort of. Used his powers for good instead of evil. Maybe he's not too far removed from the basically kind and ethically moral person I thought he was. Only, there're still all the lies and bad to be considered. His willingness to waste my life on a fake relationship to keep his cover intact. So yeah, not very deep down, I kind of still hate his guts and want to shoot him.

"Like I told you, I came up in the foster system," he says, tossing a Swedish Fish into his mouth and chewing. "Spent most of my time running wild, getting into and out of trouble. Eventually they'd get sick of me and pass me on to the next foster home. No one really cared what I did."

I always figured this aspect of his background accounted for his being somewhat emotionally stunted. A loveless childhood is bound to leave its mark. And I hate thinking of him being alone. My family has its foibles, though there's affection there too. We care about each other. I tried to give this to Jiyong, but he proved remarkably resistant to any and all exchange of feelings. At least now I know why. Not only did his childhood , but he was probably trained to go without. I can only imagine that forging bonds, having actual feelings about people, makes it harder to disappear when the job is done. Had to make it harder to kill.

"Enlisted in the army first chance I got, turned out I was good at something after all. Kept myself out of trouble and worked hard," he continues. "Worked my way up to Ranger before I got tapped for this. Thought I was trying out for Delta, but it was not."

"You're not in the military anymore?"

"Nope. This is closer to what you'd call private-sector work. No government oversight. Private funding."

"What'd they do to you?"

"Put me through the damn wringer. Made the training I'd had up until then look like a joke."

I nod, turning all of the information over inside my head. "But you're the good guys, right? You're trying to make things better?"

"Yes, Dara. Trying."

"In what ways?"

Now he's really frowning. "All sorts of things. Stopping terrorists, dealing with hostage situations, trying to prevent genocides, tracing nukes, obstructing arms trades. Basically cutting the heads off snakes."

Sounds like he's fighting the good fight. But I still wish I could read him.

I used to think I could, but now I know I don't have a clue. In this current situation, he has all the power. I'm pretty much along for a ride that might wind up killing me. One that I have no foreseeable way of getting out of. Being so dependent on someone . But then, everything about this pretty much does. 

"And that's the truth...what you just told me?"

"Yes, that's the truth. We're not always successful, but we try."

The only thing I can do right now is wait and see. "Okay."

--

Chapter 4 is up!! 😙