Lon frowned. “Um… what?”

You swallowed to try and relieve your dry throat. It didn’t help much. “I think we should just pack up and go to Mom. She needs us. I want to be there for her.”

While you didn’t expect your brother to start jumping up and down and filling up his suitcase, you hadn’t been prepared for his harsh reply.

“(y/n), we already discussed this,” he huffed. “We’re staying here. If you want to go visit Mom, that’s fine. I’ll ask Kris for a few days off, but we’re not dropping everything here.”

“No. We didn’t discuss it,” you argued. “You decided on this place. You decided to come here. Just like you always do. I’ve never had a say. I’ve only ever followed you because I trust you. But, please, listen to me this one time. Let’s leave and go to Mom.”

“Why do you want to leave so badly?” Lon questioned. “I mean, yeah, that idiot attacked me, but Kris has my back. I’ve got a good job here. We can stay here as long as we need to. And do you really want to be stuck around Markus forever?”

Of course you didn’t. But considering the fact that you just told your mate that there was no chance of you ever accepting him, you needed to get away. You needed to get out. You needed to leave this place before you crawled back to him, begging for forgiveness. The way Chanyeol looked at you as he shouted for you to leave… That was what truly made you break down. The anger, the hurt… the betrayal….

If someone had asked you if Chanyeol was capable of any facial expression that wasn’t that lopsided grin or a pinched, cute look of confusion with pouting lips, you would have firmly said no. Even after all the times you’d lashed out and been mean to him, he still smiled through it all like an idiot. The thought of doing something to try and make that grin come back was sitting in the corner of your mind like a ghost. Or maybe more like an executioner silently sharpening his ax. If you gave in to the urge, you were a goner.

“Listen,” Lon sighed. “I can’t get tomorrow off, but I can see if Kris will give me a long weekend. We can drive up, stay with Mom for a few days, and come back. Deal?”

No. It wasn’t not what you wanted. It wasn’t the permanent resettlement that you’d hoped for.

But it would have to do for now. Maybe once he was back with Mom, Lon would change his mind. Maybe the idea of all of them being together again would be too hard to resist. There was always hope.

“Okay,” you agreed reluctantly. “I can live with that.”

Lon smiled at you. “Good. Now, what’s for dinner?”

Rolling your eyes, you shuffled into the kitchen to see what you could throw together.

**

There was one treat your mother always made for you when you were kids. It was your favorite thing in the world, even with how simply it may have seemed to everyone else. You could have even only that treat for the rest of your life and nothing else. No one could make them like your mom. Who else added the special ingredient of love into the mix?

Okay, so it was cheesy as hell, but when your mom told you that secret to her recipe and then gave you a wink, you couldn’t help but laugh, even as a teenager eating the frosting as you sat on the counter.

Even though the bakery you were currently headed to didn’t make their chocolate cake lollipops with Mom’s love, you still thought it might be a nice surprise for her when you showed up. Besides randomly showing up as an answer to her letter.

In many ways, Chanyeol was a lot like your mother.

Both of them preferred to look on the bright side of things, to keep a positive perspective even on hopeless situations. Your mother had constantly told you that your father would be all right, even when you knew the trial would have only one possible outcome. She’d still kept a smile on her face up until the end.

The bell above the door chimed as you entered the bakery. Heat filled the closed in space thanks to many ovens creating delicious smelling goods in the back. A girl around your age was manning the front counter. A small, shy smile pulled on the corners on her lips as she looked up from whatever she was sketching.

“Hi, how can I-” she stopped when she met your gaze. The smile was wiped from her face and after a few blinks, she tried again. “How can I help you?”

Confused and feeling awkward, you stuffed one of your hands into your jacket pocket as you pointed towards the display case. “Can I just get about half a dozen of those chocolate lollipops?”

She nodded. “Sure.”

Silently, she wrapped up the individual pops before gently placing them in a clear plastic bag.

“That’ll be twelve-fifty-eight.”

You handed over your card and waited for the transaction to be finished out. You weren’t sure as to why the girl was being extra awkward with you and you just wanted to high tail it out of there. But then you saw her scar.

It came up about halfway up her neck, curved and slightly raggedy. You knew exactly what it was.

“You’re one of them, aren’t you?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

Gasping, the girl’s hand flew up to cover the scar. But you didn’t move or leave or even apologize. You simply waited. Slowly, the girl removed her hand, nodding.

“Yes, I am.”

You nodded back, although it was more like a weird bob than a nod. “You must be happy, then.”

“I am,” she confirmed. “A lot happier than I was before.”

A snort escaped. “Yeah, those hormones will do that to you.”

“That’s not why I’m happier,” she snapped, actually making you jump back. “Maybe you should give Chanyeol a chance.”

Shaking your head, you scoffed, “Look, you don’t know my reasons–”

“No, I don’t,” she interrupted. “But I also had my reasons. In the beginning, I didn’t want anything to do with Kyungsoo. But he is the best thing that happened to me. Not because of destiny or whatever it is that draws us to our mates. But because he helped me see a better version of myself.” She looked up at you with a half-smile. “Chanyeol’s a good guy. One of the best in the pack. And the pull has a way of bring us to the person that we need most in the world.”

You cleared your throat uncomfortably. Because she was hitting a few cords with you. Some very sensitive cords. You knew Chanyeol really deserved a happy-go-lucky, giggly-type girl, but he got stuck with you instead. And yet, he still look at you like the very stars shined in your eyes.

“I’ll, um… I’ll keep that in mind.”

The girl tapped her pencil against the counter. “I’m sorry. They all told us not to get involved. And I planned on that, but….”

“It’s okay. I get it,” you reassured her. Then you held out your hand. “I’m (y/n), by the way.”

She took it, the smile growing in size. “Dana.”

“It was nice to meet you, Dana,” you said honestly. Holding up the bag, you joked, “If these are as good as my mom’s, you’ll be seeing me more often.”

Dana nodded. “I hope so.”

Waving goodbye, you walked out of the store, feeling the weight on your shoulders grow in size. You really needed to see your mom.

**

“Are you sure this was a good idea?” Baekhyun asked for the millionth time.

Chanyeol punched him in the shoulder as he rinsed his hair out under the faucet. He honestly probably should have let a professional do this. Oh, well. If it looks bad, he’ll just shave it and grow it out again. That was the great thing about hair. He could always start over.

“I think this is a sign he needs to seek professional help,” Tao mumbled.

Sehun snorted. “Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea. ‘Tell me, Chanyeol, what’s bothering you?’ ‘Well, you see, doctor, I’m a werewolf and my mate has basically rejected me so now I’m going through an identity crisis and have now dyed my hair.”

Tao scrunched up his face. “Ha ha ha.”

“Ha ha ha,” Sehun mocked.

“Both of you shut up,” Chanyeol grumbled. Turning off the faucet, he rung out most of the water from his hair and grabbed a towel to dry the rest. When he thought he’d gotten it mostly dry, he removed the towel and prepaid himself to look in the mirror.

“You know,” Baekhyun crunch on a mouthful of popcorn from the tiny bowl he was holding, “it’s not that bad, actually.”

“Yeah,” Tao agreed. “But why gray? Why not blonde or bright red?”

“I think it’s more silver, actually,” Sehun corrected.

Chanyeol turned towards the mirror, admiring the fresh, new color.

He wasn’t the first to dye his hair in the pack. Sehun kept his a steady blonde while both Baekhyun and Minseok had experimented with several different colors and shades. Even Junmyeon had played with a few interesting colors in his pre-professor days. Who could forget the pink hair he sported for a while during his junior year? The fact that he actually pulled it off and made it look somewhat cool was still mind boggling to this day.

But now it was Chanyeol’s turn. And, by a miracle, it actually worked out. Even unstyled, the silvery white color looked cool. It made him feel different, too. Not so much the goofball reputation that he was stamp with, but more tough. Someone who could stand next to you and look like he belonged.

No. That was not why he was doing this. He was doing this because he needed a change, a distraction. As far as you were concerned, he could die in a ditch. Which, considering you told him there was no way in hell you would ever accept being his mate, was pretty much the only outcome he could see. Might as well live life the fullest while he could, right?

“So, what’s next?” Sehun teased. “A tattoo?”

Chanyeol smirked. “Actually,” he checked the watch on his wrist, “I’ve got about an appointment in about two hours. I should change and head there soon.”

He only took two steps towards the door out of Junmyeon’s master bath before the pain hit. It was like someone was stabbing him in the chest with a white hot iron poker. And then twisting it around for good measure.

With a hard landing, Chanyeol fell to his knees, clutching his chest. Yells and hisses escaped from him in a pathetic attempt to scare away the pain.

“Junmyeon!” Baekhyun and Sehun cried.

At the same time, Tao yelled, “Kris!”

Both leaders came running into the bathroom at the same time. They both knelt down, holding onto Chanyeol and trying to figure out what was going on as they simultaneously asked, “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Tao whimpered.

“He just collapsed to the ground,” Baekhyun said in a panicked voice. “One second he was fine and then next….”

“It must be (y/n),” Kris concluded. “She’s still rejecting him.”

“That’s already painful enough,” Chanyeol coughed. “Why do they have to add this on top of it?”

“Cause life’s a ,” Kris replied. That actually made Chanyeol laugh through the pain.

Just as quickly as the aching sensation came, it subsided. Able to breathe normally again, Chanyeol pushed himself up to his feet.

“Chanyeol, are you alright?” Junmyeon asked. His face was pinched and wrinkled with worry. If he wasn’t careful, with everything going on at the moment, his face was going to freeze in that position permanently.

Plastering on a smile, Chanyeol nodded. “I’m fine. I’m going to go change now.”

He left the others behind in the bathroom and left Junmyeon’s room all together. But he didn’t head for his own room to change like he said. Knowing his brothers like the back of his hand, he hung around in the hallway, leaning against the wall, the fake smile now gone from his lips.

“He’s not really going to die, is he?” Baekhyun asked, none of his usual jokiness in his voice. “That’s just a myth, right?”

“It’s not a myth,” Kris confirmed. “If she truly rejects him, Chanyeol won’t last long.”

“Why do our lives have to be so connected to theirs?” Tao complained.

Chanyeol couldn’t really blame him. It did seem really unfair. If the mate rejected the wolf, the mate still got to go on and live their life while the wolf wallowed in agony until the pain became too much and they died.

Why couldn’t you see that he didn’t ask for this either?

Okay, so he did actually ask for it. He asked for it every time he saw his brothers with their own mates. He asked for it when he saw how happy they looked, how in love they were. But he didn’t ask for it to be you specifically. He would have been happy with anyone. The shy girl from his history class. Or the really pretty girl who always took his order at the diner where he often ate lunch.

In the end, though, it was you.

What could make you hate the idea of wolves and mates so much?

Sure, your brother was an omega, but Kris said he was never kicked out of a pack. He just simply chose not to. So where did all this hostility come from?

Well, two could play at that game. Whether or not death was coming for him, he could be just as unattached as you. See how you liked it then.

“It’s just the way it is,” Junmyeon replied to Tao solemnly.

“It’s complete , that’s what it is,” Kris growled.

“We can’t exactly force her to accept him, Kris,” Junmyeon sighed.

“I know. But it never should have been Chanyeol.”

“Then who should it have been?”

“Preferably none of us,” Kris snapped. “I would have preferred if the fates just left us all alone and let us make our own damn decisions.”

Chanyeol slid down to the floor. Kris was right. Life would have been much easier if the fates above could just leave them to their own devices. Chanyeol didn’t think his choice in mate would be that bad.

Stomps alerted him to someone approaching, but he didn’t have the energy to care or move.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Kris sighed above him.

Chanyeol looked up at his hyung.

“I don’t want to die,” he confessed.

“You won’t die,” Kris promised. “I won’t let that happen. We’ll get her to come around. I don’t care if we have to kidnap her to do it.”

An angry growl erupted from Junmyeon’s bathroom.

“I was kidding,” Kris called over his shoulder. He looked down at Chanyeol and mouthed, “No, I’m not.”

To his surprise, Chanyeol actually chuckled. No, he would never kidnap you or force you into anything, just like he knew Kris never would either. But he appreciated the joke.

Kris held out his hand. “Come on. We’ve got an appointment to get to.”

“We?” Chanyeol echoed as he took the hand and let the alpha pull him to his feet.

“I’ve been thinking about getting another one for a while.” With a soft laugh, Kris pulled up the left sleeve of his plaid shirt until his under arm was visible, showing off black script.

If you can’t live longer, live deeper

“So, it is possible,” Chanyeol grinned.

Letting his sleeve go, Kris laughed. “Yeah, it’s a tattoo. Why wouldn’t it be possible?”

“Sehun said it might not be possible since we heal so fast.”

Kris shook his head. “Not that fast. The needle does its work before your skin has time to heal up.” He clapped Chanyeol on the back. “Come on. Let’s get you changed and head out. Even if it’s for a few hours, let’s take your mind off of the dreary crap.”

Chanyeol scrambled to his room to quickly put on fresh clothes. If he’d been happy at the return of Kris and the others when they first arrived, now, he couldn’t be more elated to have a brother like Kris. When everyone else focused on the negative, Kris was about ignoring it for a while. Maybe after the appointment, they could go get a few drinks.