“Donghae, where are you going? Dinner’s almost ready.”

He heaved out a long sigh as he finished stuffing his backpack with three more books. He knew his Heechul hyung was looking at him from his bedroom’s door. Donghae gave him an apologetic look, grabbing his navy blue coat on his bed.

“I’m sorry, hyung but I have to go. I just went home to grab my books. Class will start in five minutes and I don’t want to be late again.”

He truly felt sorry for his hyung. They haven’t been spending that much time together lately aside from when they were in school. Heechul’s night classes ended already as their next batches of exams wouldn’t be for another two months, while he started attending his advanced classes once again. He used to really hate them but he can’t infuriate the Chief Justice even more. He knew the old man would just tighten his reins on him if he continued disobeying him.

Just as he was to exit his room, Heechul stopped him by gently holding his shoulder back. Donghae hated seeing his hyung so distressed and it made him feel worse when he clearly knew he was the reason behind it. He refused to look at the older’s eyes and just settled his on the book he was holding.

“It’s almost 8, Hae. Can’t you at least eat for a bit? Your last meal was that kimbap roll you had for lunch.”

Donghae gulped, “I’ll just get something from the convenience store or you can just leave some for me. I’ll eat them when I go home later.”

Lies. Donghae was so close to master the art of lying. He knew he would be so tired and worn out when he comes home later. And he knew for sure he wouldn’t stop at a convenience store just to get something to eat.

Heechul sighed, trying his best to catch Donghae’s eyes with his own. When he succeeded, he didn’t hold himself back to ask the younger.

“Why don’t you answer Hyukjae’s texts and calls?”

Donghae averted his gaze. His heart was throbbing painfully against his chest.

Distractions. No more distractions. “You know I don’t turn on my phone when I’m in the study hall.”

“The guy was worried sick, Hae. It’s been three days since you basically avoided everyone.”

I can’t have distractions, hyung. Please understand. “I have a class to attend to, Heechul hyung. Can we talk about this some other time?”

However, to his dismay, Heechul had no plans of stopping. “I thought you’re getting better, Hae Hae. You were enjoying yourself. You were hanging out with us. You were living your life. What the hell happened, Lee Donghae?!”

This...this is my life, hyung. This prison is my life. The others were just distractions. Bittersweet disturbances I don’t want to experience anymore.

“Hae, you need to stop this. You need to stop torturing yourself just because your father told you so. It’s not healthy anymore. Can’t you see that it’s killing you already?”

Carefully, he unlatched the older’s hold on his shoulder that was keeping him back.

“This is who I am, Heechul hyung,” he bitterly smiled. “You know very well that this is who I am.”

His friendship with Heechul began with a huge argument between the older and another senior who was assigned to tour Donghae around the campus. They got into a heated argument after the other senior harshly insulted Heechul’s pretty face.

Donghae was a naïve freshman that time and immediately took Heechul’s side. The two of them ended up in detention with the senior student and since then, Heechul grew overprotective towards him. Heechul was a year older than him and attended the school a year before him, but due to personal reasons, he stopped for two semesters. His hiatus caused him to be on the same year level as his treasured little fish.

“Hyung, should I get you some instant coffee? I heard the vending machine was refilled.”

Donghae looked up from answering the assigned activity. He was met with the unearthly face of one his classmate in his advanced classes. But seriously, the kid’s face was beyond gorgeous.

He slowly shook his head, giving him a small smile. “I’m fine, Hyungwon-ah. You can go ahead.”

The younger nodded and Donghae went back to answering the activity. He ignored the impending headache and just convinced himself that everything will be okay in the end. It’s just a headache.

He glanced at his wristwatch and bit back a yawn as he saw 11:36. Their instructor for Skills and Reasoning gave them a fifteen-minute break and he just found himself alone inside their small room. He only had five other classmates in his advanced classes so their instructors can teach them more proficiently. All of their instructors were among the best of the best in the country and Donghae could only imagine how much his father had paid to enroll him under their consultations.  

He bit his lips as he caught sight of his cellphone inside his bag. After minutes (actually, only eight second) of contemplating, he gave in to the temptation and turned the device on. He was greeted by 16 missed calls; 1 from his Heechul hyung and the rest from the friend he had been avoiding for three days.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed avoiding Hyukjae; it was in fact, the opposite but he was aware that their friendship would just lead to nothing. They were just too different. Their memories? Don’t worry! Donghae had them hidden in the deepest part of his mind and heart.

Truth be told, he missed Hyukjae. He truly missed Hyukjae and his silly antics...and his stupidity...and his playful remarks...and his constant teasing...and his annoying nature...and his even more annoying voice...and his face. Oh God! Donghae terribly missed his face and his silly grin...and his cute pouts...and his y smirks...and he’s doomed, right?

He wasn’t also that shocked upon stumbling at least 40 messages from Hyukjae. He once again gave in to the temptation and opened the last message which was sent three minutes ago.

From: Lee jae a.k.a. Monkey

Will you stop avoiding my messages, idiot Hae? Heechul hyung won’t tell me the address to your advanced classes but you know me! I will find a way.

Donghae let out an exasperated smile. Hyukjae was truly one of a kind. He was the most stubborn Donghae had the pleasure to meet. Quite a shame that he wouldn’t get to experience fun things with the taller guy anymore.

Just as he was about to turn his phone off, another message was sent to him.

From: Lee jae a.k.a. Monkey

Are you still angry because I didn’t answer your call three days ago? I’m sorry, Fishy. Please talk to me again.

He turned his phone off after reading the message. Donghae was not angry. He was never angry. Well, not to Hyukjae at least. He was rather angry with himself. He knew better than to make attempts to share his burdens with others. He actually got quite lucky that Hyukjae didn’t answer his call. Donghae was overly desperate that time and he almost made a grave mistake of showing his desperation and weakness to others.

Classes resumed and Donghae just buried the lingering thoughts away.

“No plans to go home, Hyungwon-ah?”

He stood beside his younger classmate outside the building where their advanced classes were being held every night.

Hyungwon held