(Nafla Feat. Hoody - Love me) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJNQNE0AHWg

With her eyes on the ground, ShinAe began to walk to her apartment entrance. She held her breath and could feel herself panic from the sitaution. *You can do it ShinAe. Don't let your emotions take over. * Jaehyun noticed movement on the side of his vision and twisted his head to see. As his eyes settle and focus on the figure, he felt his heart leap in excitement. Unfortunately, the excitement did not last long. Jaehyun felt himself almost buckle to the ground when he could evidentally see ShinAe avoid eye contact with him. It has been hard enough speculating and being hit with the reality of it at the restaurant, but seeing it so close was heart wrenching.

Jaehyun gulped and quickly straightened up. Spinning his heel, he turned to face her.

"S-ShinAe", Jaehyun called her name, expecting her to stop before him.

ShinAe turned her head in the opposite direction of him and drawled. "G-go home, Jaehyun" ShinAe ambled past him with heavy steps. It was like all the energy has been drained from her. She wanted to move past him fast but she could not harbour the energy to do it.

Jaehyun's body reacted on his own and his arm shot out to hold onto ShinAe's arm. He was precise yet gentle with her. Jaehyun handled her like she could break in his hand. "ShinAe." Seeing her this way, Jaehyun felt the air in his lungs get cut off. ShinAe tried to pull her arm away from his grip. Her skin was burning from the contact. Damn she missed his warmth so much. ShinAe hasn't even gotten close with him for long, but she has been so accustomed to his presence. *God, I'm so weak.*

He caught onto her arm softly and took a step foward - wanting to be close to her. "ShinAe... why are you avoiding me?" His forehead creased and he was genuinely confused. *Please don't avoid me. What am I going to do without you?* His heart was yelling at him to go on his knees. Jaehyun was so helplessly in love with her.

Pulling her arm away from his grip, she mumbled. "Please don't do this ,Jaehyun. Go home. It's late. " ShinAe supplicated. She moved away from him like he was a plague.

Jaehyun wasn't going to let her go like that.

He couldn't.

Catching up to her, he stood in her path. Jaehyun stared down at her confused - failing to grasp the situation that was unfolding. "D-did I do something wrong? Please tel-"

"We need to stop this." ShinAe interrupted and raised her head to look him in the eye. Her lower lip trembled and she had to bite on it. She couldn't show him that she was on the verge of caving in.

"S-stop w-what?" His words stammered along with his heart.

"Us. Whatever that was starting. W-We need to stop." ShinAe's words were strong but her voice was timid and soft. She loathed that her voice was giving herself away. The eye contact with him didn't last long. She could not do it. She could not maintain eye contact with him. She could see the way his eyes glimmered, but in a beautifully sad way. It glimmered from the presence of tears, slowly pooling to the surface of his orbs. Her eyes immediately dropped to the ground. ShinAe knew that she would not rid herself of his somber expression. It would haunt her forever.

Bringing a shaky hand up, Jaehyun pushed his hair back. "W-What do you mean? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me." His voice started to crack and he swore he could feel his heart do so as well.

Leaning her head back, ShinAe tried to keep her tears in. *Even though we weren't together, why does this feel like a break up?* ShinAe wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm..I'm not ready for this, Jaehyun. I don't think, I can do it again yet. " She placed a hand on her neck and rubbed it anxiously. "I've tried to convince myself that it was strictly platonic between us and dismissed all the signs. I told myself countless time, I was just being delusional and you could not possibly be interested in me, but I was wrong. Am I right, Jaehyun?"

Jaehyun inched a bit closer. "Y-yes." He whispered, afraid to confess any louder. It almost felt like a sin to admit his feelings for her.

ShinAe was about to raise her head to stare at him and say something but nothing came out. Biting her lip, she tried again. "The other night...when I came out of the restroom..I saw you and Yoojung. " ShinAe's eyes dropped to her feet and her voice loss its volume. She couldn't look at him in the eyes.

Realising what she meant, Jaehyun tried to lower his head to met her eyes. "It's not what you think. " He reassured her.

There was a pause between ShinAe and Jaehyun, before Jaehyun reached out and placed a hold on her chin. He lifted her face slowly. Although he did this, ShinAe didn't look up. "ShinAe, I would never do that to you." Jaehyun said with so much vindication. He allowed his eyes to run around her face and take in her features. He would never get tired of looking at her.

ShinAe was magnificent.

Hearing how Jaehyun sounded, ShinAe dared to meet his eyes. As soon as she did, she cursed at herself for doing so. "I just...don't want to get hurt again. I can't go through it again." ShinAe's lip started to quiver. She was on the verge of bursting into tears. She inhaled a sharp breath to stop herself from crying.

"I'm not going to do that." Jaehyun confidently uttered, his thumb running softly over her chin.

"The moment I saw Yoojung with you, it brought back all the painful memories. I like you, Jaehyun. Much more than I expected, but the thought that even the slight possibility of the past repeating itself - terrified me. I don't know how I'm going to cope and continue on. "

"I'm just scared less when I think about it. I've been trying my best to be better. Through the years where I stopped seeing them, I really thought I progressed. I thought I picked myself up. In reality, I haven't. When I see Kai, I still freeze up and panic. When I see her, it feels like I'm suffocating. I act like I'm strong but really, I'm not even close. It's so hard, Jaehyun. I just end up beating myself over letting them in and trusting them."

Jaehyun froze when he heard her explanation. He really didn't know what she was going through. Sure, he saw the small glimpse of her pain but it did not compare with what she was dealing with on her own. His heart started to ache immensely. He inhaled a shaky breath hoping that it would ease it. She was suffering the whole time and he was unaware. Jaehyun was suddenly hit with a thought that turned quickly into self-loathe, *, I was so selfish.* He despised that he was ready to beg for her to stick around when it would potentially hurt her.

Meeting his eyes, ShinAe's eyes started to tremor. " Being ready for relationship meant that I was ready for the risk of it not going to work. It meant that I was able to wear my heart on my sleeve and be vulnerable.  The past few months showed me that I was not ready. " ShinAe gazed at Jaehyun with furrowed eyebrows, "It's really not you. I'm the one who is the problem and I couldn't do that to you, Jaehyun. I couldn't pull you along. You have so much for you. I would be holding you back "

"No, no, no, you would never hold me back. ShinAe, you mean so much to me. " Jaehyun instantly answered.

ShinAe didn't refute and only gaze at him with so much sadness in her eyes. Forcing out a small yet wistful smile, ShinAe unknowingly started to reach out to touch his face. Catching herself do so, she paused and withdrew her hands away from his face. She was about to bring it back to her side when all of a sudden Jaehyun caught it. Jaehyun couldn't say a single word but his eyes were pleading her. He adored her so much. He did not want to beg for her to stay, even though he wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Jaehyun." ShinAe had to fight it hard within herself to not give in and burst into tears in front of him. Yes, she was also hurting but it would hurt a lot less than what it would be if she continued.

Pulling her hand away from his, ShinAe whispered, "Goodbye Jaehyun."

ShinAe took a step back, before walking past him.

Jaehyun stood there, unable to move from his spot. Her footsteps started to fade into the distance and he was only left with the deafening silence of her absence. He intently stared at the floor, as if in a daze. As he continued to blink, he felt his face dampen. Reaching up, he touched his cheek. Each time he wiped his cheek, the tears kept dripping. For the first time in his life, Jaehyun experienced heartbreak; he didn't know how to ease the pain. He had his fair shares of injuries, but no pain could compare to what he was feeling at that moment.

- - - -

ShinAe shut the door behind her - her legs immediately gave in. She collapsed onto the floor and whimpered tearily. Everything that just transpired downstairs felt so surreal. Shaking her head and pushing her grief aside, she began to carry on with her night. With much effort, ShinAe forced herself to shower and prepare for bed. After dressing herself into clean clothes, ShinAe made her way back to her room. ShinAe lifted her blanket and slid under the covers. Her blanket wasn't heavy but ShinAe struggled to lift it. Everything felt heavy; her hands, her body and most of all, what remains of her heart

Reaching for her phone on the bedside table, she brought the screen close to her. Unlocking the phone, she pressed on her conversation with Eunhee.

ShinAe: Eunhee, I don't know how I'm going to continue on after what I did.

ShinAe's thumb floated over the send button, deciding whether to send the messge.  She didn't want to bother Eunhee. Instead, she tossed her phone onto the other side of her bed. Just as her phone came into contact with the bed, it started to ring. Turning the screen to face her, Eunhee's name flashed on the screen. Pressing on the answer button, ShinAe placed the phone against her ear.

"ShinAe, is everything alright? I got your message." Eunhee asked worriedly.

ShinAe didn't even want to think about how the message manage to go through, but