PART 1:

 

The first time Taeyeon met Jessica is when the very young and dynamic girl attended the startup calling program, and Taeyeon was one of three “Shark” who listened to the presentation of Jessica.

 

A fashion plan without anything new, nor even the appeal of profit. 

 

Jessica's beauty was the most impressive thing for Taeyeon. As a result, Taeyeon was the only judge in the program to invest in the young’s fashion brand.

 

After having more contact with Jessica, Taeyeon seemed to be bewitched unconditionally by that young girl. Not only her appearance, but even Jessica's voice and personality made Taeyeon be fallen deeper.

 

It took a year for Jessica to open her first store in an expensive city like Seoul. Thanks to Taeyeon for wholehearted support not only in terms of capital, but also with the expensive opinions of experienced traders. 

 

She also realized that Taeyeon had feelings for her. But it made her hesitate for nearly half a year. She thought: *Taeyeon is rich, beautiful, and brave. Hum…, how can someone refuse a person owns those charming conditions?* And that one was exactly herself! 

 

At that time, she somehow cannot feel for Taeyeon.

 

It is said the distance of 5 years means aparting a generation. If so, Taeyeon is 3 and a half generations away from Jessica. "18 years old" - maybe too much, but maybe not. 

 

Taeyeon is just only “a few years younger” than Jessica's parents, and is a WOMAN after all. 

 

For that reason, Jessica felt that Taeyeon's concern for her was not really “love”, but simply "sisterhood", or even “motherhood”?! She cannot determine anything.

 

Jessica also had a idly thought about the scene if she agreed to date Taeyeon, then will marry her, after that her 'still-somewhere-ideal-prince' suddenly appears, whether she will be on the newspaper with the headline: "Family violence, fighting until being disabled due to the appearance of the third party", or not …

 

Therefore, even though Jessica knew that Taeyeon had intentionally shown her special feelings, she also unintentionally refused gently.

 

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After a few months, Jessica's family suddenly happened a serious problem when her father involved in an accident, a spinal injury that resulted hemiplegia. The doctor said if he wanted to treat thoroughly, her family needed to prepare a lot of money.

 

On behalf of Jessica, Taeyeon took care of everything for her father. So, it was the start of the dating between these two women. But deeply in Jessica’s heart, this was like a ‘give and take’ relationship for what Taeyeon did for her family, not really ‘love’.

 

Even though Taeyeon realized that Jessica had no feelings for her, she still accepted Jessica's proposal. Just hoping one day Jessica would no longer see Taeyeon as a benefactor, but simply as a girlfriend, who can do everything for her.

 

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In some situation when meeting Taeyeon’s friends:

 

"Are you really Taeyeon's fiancé?" - Some of the friends asked Jessica.

 

Jessica nodded.

 

"You look so young. How old are you?"

 

"I’m 24." - Jessica had to admit that Taeyeon is the "youngest" among these people. Looking back and forth, Jessica felt Taeyeon was a dozen years younger than them. Taeyeon have had maintain her beauty greatly.

 

"Really?! That young! Are you sure you're gay?!" - They exchanged glances with each other, not believing that Taeyeon could catch such a young lover.

 

"What's wrong, everyone? It is too much to be curious about others’ affair?!" - The person who just said is one of Taeyeon's best friends, Im Yoona.

 

Thanks to Yoona, those impolited people walked away, Jessica sighed. But she wouldn't say "Thank you" to that woman. 

 

The girl named "Yoona" is also a reason that Jessica felt insulted when dating Taeyeon. She always used her gaze to evaluate Jessica. She used to think whether Yoona had feelings for Taeyeon, but ironically, Yoona only saw Taeyeon as an older sister, she was worried that Jessica was ‘a gold digger’, dating Taeyeon just because of money. Jessica always felt uncomfortable for Yoona's presence.

 

Moreover, she was having a hard time now. She did not want to stay in the same space with those poker face human, who have the smell of money, act artificially as they really care and worry about each other. She just wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible. She wondered why she had to endure to this point.

 

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Dating just a few months, they had to consider living together. 

 

In this age, Taeyeon was no longer interested in dating anymore. She only aimed to marry because she has found the right person. 

 

The rumor that Jessica would only marry Taeyeon because of fame and money once being spreaded. Who would marry someone at the same age of their parents; plus it is a same- marriage? 

 

They underestimated Jessica, knowing that Taeyeon is interested in beautiful women and take advantages of the older woman.

 

Jessica only could ignore all. She only worried about the business of the store and her father's benefits.

 

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After living in the same house with Taeyeon, she discovered a weird thing in the older's soul, the woman like to have homemade meals. She felt unfortunate for Taeyeon because she is not a 'housewife'. Jessica is a modern woman, who is unsuitable for cooking. And loves to gathering.

 

"It's okay. You just need to do your own work. Let me solve the others." - Taeyeon smiled slightly.

 

Taeyeon said so and Jessica could only obey.

 

But Taeyeon is such an ideal mate. Almost made Jessica falling for her several times.

 

Taeyeon takes care of everything.

 

She arranged Sooyoung - her trusted bestfriend, to be a consultant for Jessica's brand. Since Sooyoung’s family has a tradition of costume design. Sooyoung, herself is a Fashion lecturer at a famous university in Seoul.

 

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Every night when coming home, Jessica always be greeted with the scent of the food that Taeyeon had prepared.

 

Once she came home late and forgot to call Taeyeon.

 

She could still see the food on the table, no sign of being touched.

 

Taeyeon came out from a room when hearing the door opened.

 

"Are you home? Have you eaten yet?"

 

"Already. I took my employees dinner tonight."

 

"Oh, really? Then I will reheat the food myself later. Are you tired? Take a shower and break, soon!"

 

"Later if you are busy, but afraid to call, just text me." - Taeyeon added.

 

"Sorry…." - What made Jessica uncomfortable the most is that Taeyeon did not blamed or said anything harsh to her.

 

After that, she also learned how to refuse gatherings after work and try to return home earlier.

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Her father is also dedicated to caring professionals. And Taeyeon always took time to visit her parents.

 

"I have a few friends who work in medical aspect, and I'm sure they said they have a new treatment for your father's case. Although I'm not sure he will be able to walk normally 100%, I can guarantee that he can sit."

 

"Thanks."

 

And the important thing is that Taeyeon has never touched her after marriage. Jessica felt lucky because Taeyeon truly respected her.

 

"I don't want your body, but your heart is still trying to escape. When you realize that your heart is beating for me, we will do 'that'."

 

"Thanks." - Jessica can only respond to Taeyeon's feelings with these two words.

 

"Please don't 'sorry' and 'thanks' all the time, seems so far away. When you want to say something like that, just replace it with the words: 'I love you', or: 'I love Taengoo so much', I immediately understand, hehe. " - The words seem simple but make the listener more heartbreaking. Taeyeon really doesn't want to receive those words from Jessica anymore.

 

Jessica still persisted that the two of them were not love, maybe just a misconception of gratitude because Taeyeon took care of herself.

 

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Until one day Taeyeon went missing for almost 2 weeks. Jessica only received a message from Taeyeon saying that she would be on a business trip a few days ago. But she didn't think 'few days' could last up to 14 days. 

 

14 days without the woman’s scent in this house. 14 days could have not taste the food she often makes. 14 days have not seen that face ....

 

Jessica wondered if it was because the woman could no longer stand for the girl's temper, wasn't it? She smiled sadly thinking that this is a chance to escape this 'one-sided marriage'. But why was it not as fun as she has ever thought, only her heart was felling as heavy as a thousand pounds of weight inside there. *Why do I feel awkward? Why is it even bitter like this?*

 

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"How long can I live?"

 

"You must be strong! And need to take the medicine regularly ...."

 

The doctor's words were cut off:

 

"I want to know how long I can last… Just let me know."

 

When Taeyeon received the health result from the doctor, she was completely blanked at first. But after a second, her mind was full of thoughts about Jessica's future. She needed to know exactly how long her life could last to take care of everything.

 

"Ms. Kim, if we cannot find any suitable liver as soon as possible, you only have half a year… Sorry...."

 

The doctor said so softly, but it seemed like a sentence that the judge gives an offender a death penalty.

 

"Half a year....?"

 

Taeyeon kept whispering those words as if she wanted to remind herself.

 

"If we add your name on the waiting list for organ donation from now, it may not be your turn in half a year. The fastest and best way that appealing your family and relatives ..."

 

The doctor advised Taeyeon.

 

"I have no relatives."

 

Taeyeon's parents are orphans. They have known each other since they were in the Child Welfare Association. After growing up, he started his own career and they got married, gave birth to Taeyeon. By the time Taeyeon was 35 years old, her father had a liver cancer and died. A year later, her mother also suffered a because she was too traumatic for her husband’s death. They had each other in almost all the time, so when they left, they still wanted to be together, nearly forgot this child.

 

"....." - Taeyeon's words stopped the doctor in a moment - "It's okay, your husband's family or children can donate organs .." - He continued.

 

"I have neither husband, nor children. I am single…. Thanks a lot for your advice. But, I want to be treated at home, so I would like to discharge from the hospital."

 

"But...."

 

The doctor wanted to stop her. With Taeyeon's condition right now it can be painful or faint at any time. He did not understand if there are no relatives to care for, why this woman still insisted on discharging?

 

"I have decided. Let me be back home."

 

Taeyeon's decision made the doctor sighed.

 

One afternoon while working at the office, Taeyeon suddenly vomited blood and fainted in pain, being taken to the hospital by Yoona. After a few tests, the doctor concluded Taeyeon had a cirrhosis. She knew she had a hepatitis which was hereditary from her father, and just ignore awhile, it has become more serious....

 

Taeyeon has 6 more months to arrange everything before the death finds her. She could not waste any minute. She hasn't been home for 2 weeks. Not sure whether Jessica has worry about her absence, but she has missed that girl very much.

 

"Taeyeon!" - Jessica was happy to see Taeyeon appear at the front door. She thought Taeyeon would not come back anymore.

 

"Sorry... This time was a very long trip… A ton of problems needed to be solved! Have you worried about me?" - Taeyeon still maintained a smile on her lips even though her body was very tired.

 

"I...."

 

Noticing Jessica's hesitation, Taeyeon said:

 

"It's okay. The most important thing is I miss you so muchhh!"

 

For the first time Taeyeon gained all her courage to kiss on the opposite lips, because she wanted to block some hurtful words that might be coming from the younger girl, and because she missed this person so crazy!

 

Jessica did not stop Taeyeon, nor did she counteract it. She even was enjoying it.

 

Taeyeon deliberately lasted the kiss by devouring those beautiful lips, it helped to impart strength to her despair. Suddenly one day knowing she is going to die, made Taeyeon become weaker than ever.

 

When her parents passed away, Taeyeon still had the ability to continue leading their small factory to become a joint stock enterprise like today. Taeyeon had put all the attention on work so that the loneliness could not annoy her daily activities.

 

When Taeyeon met Jessica. After a very long decade, all of a sudden, her cold heart be flurred and warm again. Although she knows she has an interest on women, but the feeling of wanting to possess someone is so weird. Taeyeon thought that was destiny. From there, Taeyeon's life purpose turned to the girl named ‘Jessica’.

 

However, knowing that Jessica just agreed to marry her because the girl needed help. Taeyeon always hoped that  someday Jessica could try to love her, try to worry about her the same way as Taeyeon’s love for the younger. But this disease made Taeyeon be scared of the future. Only the pain gnawing at her lonely heart.

 

"I ... really miss you." - *Until I die I will always miss you ...* - A part of Taeyeon's mind screamed after a soft confession to Jessica.

 

"I ..." - The girl wanted to reply that she also missed this woman during that time, but mental or heart’s choice? It was not easy to pick...

 

"I love you so so much, too." - *Until I die I will always love you ...* - After confessing, Taeyeon left for her bedroom, because she could feel her arms and legs trembling with the pain in her stomach.

 

Leaving behind an innocent Jessica with the unexpected confession from the familiar woman.

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END PART