fourteen;

 

 

Chorong caught the last petal she needed and held it tight in her tiny palm. We grinned at each other before closing our eyes. After several seconds, we opened both our eyes and our palm, letting the cherry blossoms petals being blown away by the gentle wind.

 

“What did you wish for?” I asked immediately as we resumed our pace.

 

“It’s a secret,” she gave me a cheeky smirk. “Besides if I tell you, it won’t come true,”

 

I nodded in defeat, but deep inside I never stopped wondering.

 

 

 

“Woohyun?”

 

Hoya’s voice pulled me back from the past to the present time. I blinked at him confusedly, still startled. “Yes?”

 

“It’s starting,”

 

I glanced at the racetrack and saw the other racers already filling in their own spot while doing the last minute stretching-ups. Coach Han was motioning for us to get prepared as well. I rose from my seat. “Thanks,” I mumbled, and we both headed to the starting line.

 

“You’ve got a lot of supporters there,” Hoya pointed out.

 

I followed his eyes and saw my parents on one side of the field, barely visible amongst the crowd. They flashed me a supportive smile each the soon they saw me looking. Myungsoo and Chorong were together with them, also with wide grins on their faces. Next to them, stood Chorong’s father, as well as Myungsoo’s mother. Everyone made time for me.

 

“Yeah,” I exhaled. “One big family,”

 

I remembered the first ever race I entered. Even after a lot of trainings, I was still too nervous during the race. In the end, I tripped over my foot and fell to the ground. Thinking of how much everyone would be disappointed in me, I kept my stare on the grass. I was already close to tears when I heard a familiar voice calling me name.

 

“Woohyun ah!”

 

I looked up and glanced at spectators, scanning them to find the owner of the voice.

 

“Woohyun ah!”

 

At last I saw her. In the midst of the crowd, she stood out. Her face was anxious, and her hair was messy. It made me wonder who was actually participating in the race.

 

“Run!” Chorong shouted again. “Finish the race!”

 

Our eyes met for a second, and I nodded, understanding. I reverted my gaze to the finishing line, and with a renewed determination, I set off once again, heading to my own goal.

 

I did not win the race that day, but I knew I won something much more important than the trophy.

 

 

 

When I returned to the field later after celebrating my triumph with my team, only Myungsoo was there. He stood at the starting point where I began the race, staring straight ahead at something only he knew what. I approached him. His face immediately broke into a big smile when he caught the sight of me.

 

“Congratulations on your win,” he exclaimed.

 

“Thanks,” I smiled back. “Where are the others?”

 

“All gathered at your house, I think, to toast you,”

 

“And you? Why didn’t you go back yet?”

 

“I was waiting for you,”

 

“You didn’t have to,”

 

“It’s okay. I wanted to,”

 

I nodded and shifted my gaze away. Two figures caught my eyes as they casually walked side by side towards the gate, leaving the school which was nearly empty by then. I looked at their happy faces and smiled. At least, I did one thing right.

 

“Hyung,” Myungsoo murmured, snapping me out of my thoughts. His eyes were fixed on the ground while he kicked the dirt with his right foot. “Can I ask you for a favour?”

 

“Sure,”

 

He finally looked up and met my gaze. A smile appeared on his face. “Let’s have a match, man to man,” he proposed nonchalantly.

 

“What kind of match?”

 

“Race,”

 

I frowned. “Myungsoo yah―”

 

“I’m serious,” he cut me off.

 

“No,” I shook my head firmly.

 

“Hyung―”

 

“I said no!” I snapped, shooting him a glare.

 

His eyes softened, as if he was pleading for me to agree with them, and his smile never left his face. He looked away. “Hyung, you know that classic question? If two people fell into the sea, who would you save first?”

 

I nodded, but realizing he was looking somewhere else, I mumbled a yes.

 

“I asked her that ― long ago ―who she’d save first, you or me. She said she’d rescue me,” he went on. “I was happy to hear that. Then I asked her why she chose me.” He turned to face me. “You know what she answered?”

 

Without bothering to guess, I shook my head no.

 

“She said, she knew you can save yourself,” he explained. “In other words, she knew that I’d need help to stay alive. That I can’t survive on my own,”

 

“What is your point here, Myungsoo?”

 

He choked out a laugh that sounded bitter. “You know what, hyung? The two of you sacrificed too much for this ungrateful me. You even put my happiness ahead of your own,”

 

“Myungsoo yah―”

 

“Hyung,” he cut me off again and shifted his gaze back at me, his face serious. “Do me a favour and race me. I’m a guy too. I need to know how far I can go.” When I didn’t reply, he added, “Please.”

 

I stared at the far end of the track, pondering. Clenching my jaw, I finally gave him an answer. “Just this once,” I warned.

 

His face broke into a smile. “Thanks, hyung,” he said.

 

I casted aside my bag as we readied ourselves. Myungsoo did a little warm up, stretching his body and doing a small jog. Then, we took our stance.

 

Just before we started, he glanced at me. “Hyung,” he called. “Don’t go easy on me,”

 

I grinned in returned, genuinely this time. “You’ll regret it,” I cautioned, and he chuckled.

 

We focused our attention to the invisible goals of ours at the end of the racetrack. In my eyes, I saw the image of the three of us as little kids, laughing away at the tiniest things. I was surprised to see that instead of the usual one which had always taunted me. Even so, I smiled.

 

“In the count of three,” I began. “3… 2… 1!”

 

He set off a second earlier. Even in that fleeting moment, I could see the determination in his face. He ran like there was tomorrow. As if he would die if he wasn’t fast enough. His speed shocked me. Seeing that, I picked up my pace and accelerated more. I ran much faster than I ever did in races. I gave my all to outrun him, which I managed to at last.

 

Maybe it was predictable, but I was the first to arrive at the finishing line. I took several seconds to catch up with my breaths before finally glancing back.

 

My heart sank.

 

Ten feet from where I stood, Myungsoo was lying motionlessly on the ground. Immediately, I rushed back to him and fell to my knees next to him. I shook him hard. I shouted his name. When he did not respond, I shook harder and shouted louder. His face was pale, his lips were dry, and his forehead was covered with sweats. I could feel my eyes b with tears and fear overpowering me.

 

Everything seemed to black out to me. I could not even remember how and when did the ambulance arrive and drove us away. But I remembered inhaling the antiseptics scent which I always hated. I remembered resenting myself for being unable to say no to his request. I remembered hearing his mother’s cries of agony as she grabbed my collars violently, asking for her only son back and calling me a murderer.

 

Most of all, I remembered that look on Chorong’s face despite my vision being blurred by my tears, as she seethed those words.

 

“I hate you,” she said.

 

I remembered sprinting back home, trashing my newly attained trophy along the way, and running into my mother’s safe embrace. “Umma,” I sobbed. “Let’s move. I’ve never asked for anything, but now I’m begging you. Please, let’s go away.”