When they left,I sat on my bed and looked at all the photos. Photos of the 5 of us,Me,Hyae Sung,Hye Mi,Jiwoon and Khun. I just wished that I could turn back time and undo every mistake that I have done. I would take back my "yes" to his stupid agreement. I would try to stay away from their drama, and I would do anything to erase my feeling towards him. I should have know not to play with fire. YES..!! I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO REMOVE THIS HEARTACHE but I knew I can't. 

Before I knew it my tears starts falling again. I knew what's done is done. But I wanna let my tears fall,I wanna let it all out but unfortunately the pain didn't go away,the tears didn't stop flowing. What seems soo long felt like minutes to me. Everything around me just felt like a slowmotions. 

I want to stop crying,I really do but once I think I'm done crying,I remember him and started crying again. Look at me,I'm a big mess while Khun is out there with Eunjae having the time of his life with the love of his life. I'm still alive but I can barely breath. I keep praying to God, Ples God make this stop..!! Make my tears's stop. Make my heart stop hurting. Make me stop feeling a thing. I don't want this. I never wanted this. Just take it away from me. but nothing. I'm still crying,still hurting and still feeling. The pain and heartache is still with me.

What more is there to say? How can you breathe while they're having the time of their life? How can you exist while their new love is living as well? Everything is falling apart, and you just about lose all faith in anything and everything. Then you realize the shocking truth. When your heart is torn apart they take a piece with them. You're never whole again cos some pieces of you is still and will always be with him.I realize that faith and love are things that aren't dealt with lightly. You never get over the hurt that comes from a break up. You feel like crap and you have a hard time sleeping and you just want to die. Your entire life goes backwards over one person. It's an indescribable feeling and it can't be explained with mere words.

"Everything happen for a reason.",that phrase that I always cling on at my hardest time came back to me. So..? What's the reason..? To make me suffer..? Make me die..? What's the reason..? Tell me..!! No matter how meaningful the words is,it can't stop my heart from bleeding. No matter how wise you are,when you felt heartache those words meant nothing cos nothing seems to look good. In my eyes nothing is gonna change for the better.

I bet he's now walking with Eunjae,holding hands and being all lovey-dovey just the way he was with me before this. Now he's best day are becoming my worst moments. I can't help myself but think about how they gonna be the perfect couple in the college now and I'm just the ex. How can I be in his life and look him with Eunjae together like a couple..? Even when I just imagine it I cry,how can I hold back my tears when I'm watching it with both of my eyes. How..? 

Now he got Eunjae that gonna gave him everything he wants. She'll definitely make him happy more than I can do. She is the one for him. THE ONE. He found someone better than can show him more love,that is more to his level and perfect like him.

Why do I have to feel this..? Why do I have to suffer..? Why do I have to love him..? Why can't I forget this feelings..? He's the only one that I love to forgot and he's the only one that love not to forgive but I knew my love for him is greater than my hate and my pain. I knew I just have to endure evrything. Why do I have to be the one that cries in silent,hurt in silent and bleeding in silent..? I wanna let it out but I know that's it's too selfish of me. I can't make the others uncomfortable just bcos I'm in pain. Even through he breaks my heart,in my heart is still him. He just broke a heart that was filled with love just for him.

I tried to stop but I can't. My chest is already hurting me. I can't felt my hearbeat. I couldn't think straight,I couldn't eat well. I always don't have appetite and it's unlike me cos I'm always the one that eat a lot. Again just like that I fell asleep. I knew I can't be like this for days. There's just no way I can be like this but how am I supposed to go out of this depressions. How..? Now I keep asking myself the hows-whys. I just wish I'll woke up and realize everything is just a dream but I had to face the music. This is happpening for real and I had to overcome this anyway I can. Help me..??? Anyone..?

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I knew this is kinda depressing..

I even felt depress writing this.. I even cried.. I knew yeah.. Too much..

I kinda used some lyrics from a song..Well 3 song to be exact..

Tell me what you think... <3

Comment..alright..??

I just mention in the last chapter that I want 30 subscribers.. Well guess what..? I know have 30 subscribers..!!! 

YAY..!! Thanks for making this the day of my life... <3 Saranghae.. <3