Records 2
Three: What I am supposed to do.

The life of the party left a while ago. Jessica and Yuri visited me in the house earlier probably to check if I was alive because there ain’t no added chapters coming. I’ve been preoccupied with Taeyeon lately. 

It is as if I was in charge of babysitting the child of a monarch.  Most of the time she was just there, doing what she loves the most, writing. And well, taking care of me in her own angelic way. I was really into the idea of her new musings in a piece of paper that I would usually back hug her and kiss her cheeks, whilst checking everything that she is writing.  However, it seems like the privilege that was given to me by the gods above is limited to Taeyeon’s presence only.

I wasn’t able to read anything she is writing.  Rather than treating it as a curiosity that I would never get over, I considered that restriction as a mere reminder that Taeyeon is not here to stay.  Of course, I won’t allow that but things are a little bit out of the scope of my human capabilities.  If only there is a way to keep my angel beside me.  

Selfishness naturally comes out of the heart of a person who loves so much.

She can hold a pen, her pen to be precise. I don't know where she got it but one morning after I woke up, I just saw her writing on the table.  A white pen and this black notebook.  It’s creepy once you see it from a different perspective however Taeyeon is my angel and I know my angel likes to write. It is a simple kind of understanding. Just like how I know I fell in love with l the moment she was ready to have me, all for her.

During the spin the bottle, Yuri asked me the question, despite Jessica’s annoyance. These two have been equipped with an eternity of child games every time considering the fact that they are my bosses. It’s amazing watching them grow together. As a married couple. 

Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes I envy them. It is the kind of love I would want to have. I had the one. Had. It’s frustrating.

“Any new suitors perhaps? Come on that new writer is hot.”

Taeyeon was right beside me after that. Smiling with her eye on my hands. A teary-eyed angel is what I saw when Jessica, drunk and extremely sensitive to add, suddenly cried. 

“No one alive is worthy enough to be with Tiffany. Taeyeon made sure of that. Why does your fairytale just have to be a tragic one?” She looked into me, I can feel myself crying too.

“You deserve so much and you deserve what is best for you. And I know. It’s Taeyeon.  I’ll be here, ready to pay you a private nurse when you’re 70.” And she passed out. 

 Although riddles may not be my forte, I have understood every nook and cranny of Jessica’s sentence.  Perhaps, indeed my future is in a nursing home, without a family to hold my hand until the day I die.  But maybe at least my guardian angel would still be there, in a face where her youth holds her eternally.  Loving me and that is more than enough for me. 

Of course, when I looked at Taeyeon she was gone. Obviously, it isn’t just me who is clear in what I really wanted.  Nothing in this world can make me stay away, it’s not selfish. It’s what the heart wants.

————

I looked upon his face solemnly. 

Feeling my heartache knowing exactly what he is doing. It is not fair for both of us and my little angel beside me. Taeyeon has been quite different ever since that day, she was only following me and will