“Well that was...” You couldn’t properly string words together to express how the movie made you feel. “Why don’t I feel happy? I feel like I’m supposed to be happy but I’m not.”

“Maybe because the escapism is harder to relate to when you’re older and the context hits home hard.” Minseok suggested, and you felt uncomfortably aware that he was not holding your hand. It was upsetting that it was that important to begin with, but what was there to be done about feelings?

“I thought you majored in music. You’re so multifaceted.” You hummed, stepping outside of the theatre. It was dark out, and also a lot colder than before. In spite of your desire to hold his hand, you stuffed yours into your pockets to keep them warm.

“I have a lot of interests, music was like a jumping off point, I guess. How did you end up in... Lung studies?” He asked, turning right. You followed along. A gust of wind hit you in the face and you shivered. Why was winter so stupid cold?

“How about hot pot?” Minseok added suddenly. Hot pot? If there ever was a time then this had to be it, you agreed.

“Hot pot sounds good. As for the pulmonology, I’m just a nerd.” You winked at him. “It’s a good word for scrabble.”

“I like nerds. Besides... Aren’t we both nerds for even doing PhD’s to begin with?”

“I like nerds, too.” You felt your cheeks glow at the statement. That tiptoed a little too close to the line. Playful flirting was one thing, but you couldn’t just confess the feelings you weren’t even sure of yet. As you were regretting your life’s choices, you didn’t miss Minseok’s small cough. “Spicy or non-spicy?”

“Non-spicy.” Then there was silence for a while. You dug your fingers deeper into your pockets and tried to hide your chin behind your scarf. Another gust of cold wind hit you in the face and you shivered. Minseok turned around and pulled you aside, forming a shield from the wind.

Suddenly you didn’t feel the cold anymore. Your heart thumped as you looked at him. You almost had to look away because it was painful to look at him. Time seemed to slow as you looked at each other. It felt like there was something you had to say, or something he had to say, but your brain couldn’t do anything but scream.

“Oh hey guys! What are you doing out here?” You recognized the voice and instinctively recoiled from Minseok. Indeed, as you looked to your left, you saw the slender figure with perfectly styled hair and a smile that said ‘I know what you did last summer’. To make things worse, Soojin was hanging on his arm, smiling cheerfully.

“Hey Baekhyun. We’re going out for dinner.” You answered curtly. Minseok coughed awkwardly, then nodded in agreement.

“Oh really? You two are… Going out.” Baekhyun smiled maliciously. Soojin nudged him, and he winced in a manner you suspected was meant to be adorable. It worked on Soojin, who cooed at him, and you took the moment to exchange glances with Minseok. He gave you a small nod, and stepped in to close the conversation.

“We are indeed outside, and we’re doing stuff together. What are you two up to?” He asked, keeping his tone airy. His hand, which rested close to his pocket, was shaking. You moved closer so you could take his hand behind your back and squeeze it. I’m here with you. It’s okay.

“We’re going out. Since we’re all of us going out, how about you two join us for dinner?” Baekhyun suggested, eying you specifically. There was nothing going on, you reminded yourself. You were just having dinner with your flatmate because you forgot groceries and the movie was just a coincidence that Baekhyun didn’t have to know about. So, in spite of your best interests, you nodded.

It became normal to see Minseok around the house. You wished you could say it diminished the butterflies somewhat, but given how Minseok had taken to being disturbingly charming, it really didn’t help your fledgling feelings. Even sitting by yourself watching television, you were reminded of him by the scent and taste of your coffee, because he’d made it for you previously.

Just as you allowed yourself a moment to think of him, the door unlocked and you heard him sigh as he stepped inside the apartment. You were no expert, but you could discern that this wasn’t a ‘I’m so glad I’m home’ sigh. Minseok had a bad day. Almost on auto-pilot, you got up from your chair and walked to the cooking area, pouring coffee into his mug, and walking over to the door as he was taking off his shoes.

“You don’t have to be up early tomorrow, right?” You asked as you held the coffee out for him. Minseok stepped into his slippers and took the mug from your hands, then paused.

“No, I don’t.” He stated, placing the coffee down on the shoe rack and stepping forward. You could have backed away if you were uncomfortable. There was time for you to react when he hugged you, you just chose not to. His arms came to rest around your shoulders and his head dropped right next to yours. His sigh went right through you, and you felt the goose bumps forming all over your neck.

“Good.” You managed, then wrapped your arms around his waist. He was upset, you reasoned with yourself, he’d had a tough day and he needed some support. “Do you want to come sit with me?”

“You’re great, you know that?” Minseok said, squeezing your shoulders before straightening himself up and picking up his mug. “I’m so glad I come home to you.”

He gave you a glance, then put his mug down again and cupped your face in his hands. Your heart leapt up, and you felt it beating against your ribcage. Those warm brown eyes were making it difficult for your knees to stay strong, and the intensity of his gaze made it worse. And there was something else. Deep down in your stomach, you felt a flicker of heat.

“Kiss me you fool.” Came the arguably well-timed line from the television. It wasn’t funny, but you were too nervous not to laugh all of a sudden. But only for a moment, until you got yourself back under control. Your hands still rested on his waist. When you made eye contact again, your stomach flipped. He hadn’t laughed, he wasn’t even smiling.

“I am going to kiss you.” He whispered, leaning closer to you but stopping just an inch short of actually kissing you. It felt like torture, to have him so close to you that you could feel the heat his body was radiating, but for him to still be out of your reach. Was he doing this on purpose? You decided to close the gap. First by hugging him, then by kissing him lightly.

He responded instantly, and the kiss went from a light peck to his lips pressing fiercely against yours. Adrenaline rushed through your body and the sounds that typically bothered you in romantic scenes in movies suddenly all felt right. His lips pressed to yours again and again, sometimes trapping yours, sometimes pushing and prying them open.

“I want you.” ! Did you actually say that? There was no time to feel embarrassed, though, because Minseok’s hands affirmed your statement. They were no longer on your face, they were on your waist, slipping under your shirt. And then…

“I’m all yours, Hana.” Just the way he said it, the sultry tone when he breathed your name… It was all too much. You let go of him, just briefly enough to move your hands to his chest and his shirt. Occasionally, as your fingers moved diligently, your skin would press to his. And he was so warm and perfect. It took far too long to unveil him, but when your palms pressed to his shoulders, it was all worth it. Even your lips felt like they were pulsing with your heart rate as you looked at him.

“I love that… I love…-” Whatever you were about to say in a lust-induced stupor was not so thankfully cut short by the doorbell ringing. The sound made the both of you jump, but Minseok pulled you close to him before you could trip over the step leading into the living space. His heart was beating just as rapidly as yours, it seemed. And he smelled so, so good… You couldn’t help but press just the tiniest of kisses to his collar bone, now that you were close enough to do so. His chest reverberated and from the corner of your eyes you noticed he was smiling.

“We’re not home.” You mouthed up at him, to which he nodded.

The doorbell rang again, impatiently. It was starting to feel strangely good and fun to be standing so close to the door, but still be ignoring the sound. It felt like you were a kid playing hide and seek, and the seeker was passing by just in front of you. As you waited, Minseok’s hands played with the hem of your shirt, curling and folding it as he rolled the fabric upwards over your skin.

The doorbell stopped ringing. For a few seconds you thought you got away with it. Then a new ringing started, from Minseok’s pocket. Damn it. Minseok sighed as he reached for his phone, pulling it out. Just then, you had a thought. Before Minseok could answer the call, you placed your hand over his.

“Let me answer. You’re asleep.” You whispered. Minseok eyed you curiously but nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he tip toed towards his bedroom. You waited a few more seconds, then answered the phone.

“Hello?” You did your best to sound innocent.

“Minseok I know you’re…- Oh. Hana?” A man said. The voice came through the phone, but you could also hear the same voice, dimmed somewhat, through the door. This again? You tried to reason with yourself that he couldn’t have known what he was interrupting, but given his personality he would definitely have interrupted had he known. So you gave up on trying to justify your instinctive reaction and ran a hand over your shirt to smooth it out.

“Hey, Minseok is… Can I take a message?” You glanced over your shoulder to make sure Minseok’s door was closed before opening the door. You hung up the phone and continued, in person, to your unfortunate visitor. “I think he left his phone in the living room on purpose. He looked upset when he came in.”

That wasn’t necessarily a lie.

“Well… The thing is…” Oh no. Baekhyun looked awful. He sheepishly ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to hide his red, puffy eyes from you. Immediately you felt guilty for even trying to avoid him.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, your tongue felt numb in your mouth. Baekhyun bit his lip, taking a deep breath.

“Soojin… Really needs you right now. I don’t have the right to tell you anything else.”