A/N:  Well, hello. I apologize for taking almost TWO YEARS to update this story, and I wish I had an excuse for you, but I'm just very lazy, lol. Also, maybe the fact that I've grown progressively further apart from Bigbang since I started publishing this story is another reason, and I'm sorry. Anyway, this time i decided I'm just going to publish the rest of the story in one sitting, instead of studying for my exam as I should. Also, this will probably have an horrid spacing, please forgive me.

I'm going to put disclaimers one last time: there are many things in this story that are based on true events, but they cannot be counted as speculations on my regard on what truly happened, and they're merely a fictional representation of real events, based on articles I've read and informations I've gained through what the members have said.

Anyway, this takes place in 2006, when Bigbang had just debuted. I don't really know much of this time, either. This is kind of vague and probably too similar to the last chapter, but I felt like I needed to write something about this.

Well, that's it, I hope someone is still reading this mess :)

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august 2006

“I can’t believe we’ve finally debuted!” he couldn’t say he didn’t share Seungri’s enthusiasm, but he was feeling strangely tired and was wondering where the  maknae  had gathered all that energy from; Jiyong was grinning from ear to ear, evidently happy that all their hard work had finally payed off and they’d eventually been able to start their career, especially considering everything they had to go through, including the loss of one member and being forced to have a camera shoved in their faces most of their time awake.
 
It was almost surreal to think that they’d finally done it, after overcoming all their individual and common difficulties, after feeling like there was no hope so many times, they’d fulfilled their dream and the future couldn’t have seemed brighter than in that moment; now they almost felt like they were invincible, even if they knew that they needed to keep working diligently and looking forward if they wanted to have the career they wanted in that industry, but they knew, that, as long as they were allowed to make music, they would happy, because that was what they’d decided to devote their childhood and entire life to.
 
Seunghyun felt content and relaxed like he’d never felt before, despite his sudden tiredness; looking at the others, he knew they were the people he would see every day for a long time and he wasn’t complaining at all, because he knew he could’ve ended up with far worse people than them.
 
All of them were amazing, he couldn’t even describe how grateful he felt towards them and how much he felt like they were extremely important to him, even if he’d know most of them for a little more than a year; if he needed to spend the rest of his life with them, he knew he would be happy, he already knew they were going to be there for each other for a long time.
 
Even if he’d known Jiyong the longest, he’d already started to appreciate the others more and more; from Youngbae, who seemed innocent but always had some witty remark up his sleeve when he needed to, who was always trying his best to teach them dance steps even when they couldn’t understand them even after a few times he’d already explained, who was shy around girls and admitted it shamelessly.
 
To Seungri, who, even thought he’d encountered a lot of difficulties when he’d joined the group, having been the last, and had found himself being ignored more times than all of them liked to admit because they’d always felt it wasn’t safe to talk to him if their leader couldn’t stand him, had always a smile on his face even when everything was dark, who always looked like an adorable panda with the deep bangs under his eyes, who laughed in the most ridiculous and loud way, who was extremely obnoxious when he wanted to be.
 
To Jiyong, who’d always had his objective clear right in front of himself, who’d worked harder than all of them ever did, who’d spent entire nights awake trying to fix everything that he thought needed to be fixed, because he was a perfectionist, who always tried to act though and mature even if he was only nineteen, because he was their leader and he felt like that was what he needed to do if he wanted to keep the group together and make it work; he’d known who he wanted to be since the day he was born, he’d known there was a path for him to follow, and he’d to accept many things he couldn’t stand because he would’ve done anything to reach his dream and snatch his own personal star from the sky, becoming a star himself.
 
To Daesung, who’d had to fight more than any of them had to achieve his dream, who’d had to run away from home because he just wanted to sing and had no intention of giving up, who’d had to hear harsh words about his appearance but had never let those words define him, who was shy and reserved, but was becoming more and more open every day that went by thanks to them, who always tried to smile and cheer everyone up when the mood was down because that was in his nature, who was always kind even to people who didn’t deserve it.
 
If that was possible, he’d started to appreciate himself more, too; he’d fought too for what he wanted, he’d overcome his difficulties with a strength of mind he’d never imagined he could have, he’d trained as best as he could even if never seemed to remember the dance sequences and had established that he hated dancing and, when they would be famous enough that everybody would stop caring, he would limit his movements how much he could, because he didn’t like to be forced to do something he didn’t want to.
 
He didn’t know if they would ever become famous, but the fact that they’d finally debuted was definitely a step forward and all he could do, all of them could do, was keeping working hard and never forget that the chance they got was incredible, but also that it was the result of a lot of efforts, pain and stress, and never rest on their laurels because of what they had achieved, whatever it would be. He didn’t know what the future would hold, but, in that moment, he could only see a bright light in from of them and they were walking towards it together, with their hands joined and holding on tight, because their team spirit, their friendship, had brought them where they were and they needed to remember how important it was.
 
He glanced up smiling and noticed Jiyong with both his arms around Seungri and Daesung, who were at his sides, laughing along with him, and he could feel their happiness from where he’d been standing mindlessly for probably the past minute; he cried out an ‘yah, Kwon Jiyong!’, and jogged towards them, while the leader turned around to look at him with a puzzled expression, as if he couldn’t understand why he was being so whiny in a moment like that, and he couldn’t really blame him.
 
But he wasn’t being whiny! He just wanted a bit of attention, too, he hated not being at the centre of the spotlight, even while knowing perfectly that, that day, the spotlight belonged to all five of them, not one less than the other (except Seungri, maybe, but just because he was being annoying; he’d actually always tried his best to be fully accepted into the group and, after all, all his efforts had actually payed off after some ‘due’ time when the leader had been acid in his regards because he’d been added at the last moment and was almost ‘as good as nothing’, as he’d once said a day he was particularly pissed with him); when he reached them, he jumped onto Daesung’s back without warning and the younger caught him in some miraculous way, succeeding in not collapsing to the floor by just a whiff of wind.
 
“Don’t try to steal my best friend!” Jiyong looked at him and rolled his eyes, but it was clear that he was amused by what had just happened; he and Seungri slowly started to walk away, but not before the  maknae  had time to pinch Seunghyun’s cheek saying that he was a big baby and he didn’t even have energy to argue, since he’d lost all his remaining one by running to them in a desperate attempt to save his endangered friendship.
 
Youngbae, who seemingly had enough of the childish side of the oldest member of Bigbang, ran after the others, who were too focused on each other to even notice him at first, and it wasn’t something which happened rarely, recently; the two of them stayed behind, and he suspected it was his fault, since he was probably slowing down Daesung considerably by weighing on his back.
 
They remained in silence for a while, walking like everything was normal, and, even if being carried on the younger’s back had started to become a strange habit for the rapper, he always wondered why he never complained about him doing that.
 
“Do you mean it?” his  dongsaeng  asked in a soft voice, and Seunghyun suddenly remembered that the others hadn’t really gotten used to his straightforwardness yet; he knew he had the bad habit to tell everything that went through his head, but he didn’t necessarily see it as a bad thing, it was useful from time to time. In that moment, for example, he didn’t regret saying those two words at all, he was happy he hadn’t even thought about it before saying them, because that was exactly how he felt and he didn’t see why he shouldn’t have voiced it aloud for the younger to know; and it was true, he would never admit it to anyone ever, but he’d always felt like there was something that connected him to Daesung more than to the others members, he’d always felt like that since the day they’d met, and he couldn’t give it an explanation, even if he felt like he didn’t need one, after all.
 
Maybe because their personalities were so different, almost opposite to one another, or maybe there was something that struck him and that he couldn’t even find; for some reason, he felt like that feeling was just going to grow as they did.
 
“Yes, you are.”
 
(He couldn’t imagine how many things he would be to him.)