It's been little bit over a month since I confessed my feelings to hyung, he didn't want me to court him but with the help of Mark wanting me around he had no choice but to see me anyways. I thought it'll be hard to win Mark over but it was pretty easy, him and I have a lot in common, he reminded me of myself when I was a kid. I'm almost always over at hyung's place every weekend, only on Sundays since he works on Saturdays. I'm gonna stay with my words that I will wait for as long as hyung accepts me. 

It's a nice chilly Sunday and I suggested that we should go take a walk at the park which Mark was up for it and it took us a bit of begging to get hyung to come with us. Throughout the whole walk Mark held both of mine and hyung's hand and I feel a little happy inside by that small gesture, a group of old ladies passed us and chirped 'what a cute lovely family.' I have no idea if hyung heard it but I for sure heard it and I can't stop smiling. We ate ramen by the river since we all got hungry. I took out my phone and took a little selfie with them, Mark smiled so big and hyung, well he had that expressionless face that he always had ever since high school. I barely see hyung smile. 

The whole Sunday I spent my day and night with hyung and Mark, I want to do this for the rest of my life. We went back to hyung's place and it's already almost 9pm, Mark went and washed up and got ready to go to sleep since he have school tomorrow. Hyung and I decided to end the day with a cup of tea, it's still a bit awkward between us. "So...how did Johnny hyung took it when you told him that I'm courting you?" Hyung mentioned to me that he told Johnny hyung what I'm doing and knowing Johnny hyung I'm a bit scared to what he can do.

"He doesn't want to interfere with my life, said that I can make decisions on my own." he took a sip on his tea and I feel a bit of relief to hear that. It's a good thing I won't be torn into pieces from hyung for going after his best friend. Hyung seems to be relaxed around me, he doesn't stutter whenever we talk now and I take that as progress. After I finished my tea I took that as a sign for me to leave, we both got up and hyung walked me to the door. He patted me on my shoulder and said to be careful driving, I wish it was a hug but I'm good with patting each other as of now, I gave him a smile and he did the same. I started to walk towards the elevator and and before the doors could open for me to get in hyung said something. "Jaehyun-ah...text me when you get home. Just to make sure you get home safe." I nodded and went inside the elevator, when the doors closed I did a victory jump. The person watching the security camera might think I'm a weirdo.

When I got home I texted hyung right away and he replied with 'okay'. It's not like we're in an endearment phase, he hasn't even agreed to become my boyfriend yet, I can only dream for that day to come. After I took a shower I settled down in front of my computer just reviewing some files for tomorrow's meeting, while reading some papers I couldn't help but think about Mark. Hyung said Mark is 5 years old around the same time hyung got out of school, Mark's birthday is August 2nd approximately 9 months and that was also when the last time I had contact with hyung. The time I did it with hyung, unless hyung got into a relationship after we did it then Mark isn't mine but if he didn't then that means I'm Mark's father.

"What am I thinking? Mark as my child? That sounds impossible."

I could barely sleep a wink last night thinking that there's a possibility that I am Mark's dad, if that is so then why hasn't hyung told me or even told me about him carrying Mark. During lunch time I rushed to his school to talk to hyung, I have no idea if its the right idea but I want to get to the bottom of this, I could barely focus on the meeting thinking about it. I waited in front of his school like the usual and I think my heart is about to pop off my chest. I was thinking for a long time that I didn't even notice hyung in front of me. "Jaehyun? What are you doing here?

"Hyung I want to talk to you about something." We got inside my car so we won't be making a scene outside and it was getting cold anyways, I drove to the Han River and set my car to park.

"Hyung...I'll just get down to it...am I Mark's father?" he looked shocked and seemed like he was about to cry. "Hyung? Am I really?" he started crying and all I could do is put my head back and exhaled, taking a deep breath from the information I just found out. It took a few minutes for him to calm down, we both don't have much time since we both have to go to work in a bit. "Hyung why didn't you tell me?" my voice sounded cold if I must say, right now I can't think of anything.

"I am so sorry. I didn't know how you'd react. I didn't want to burden you with this so I kept it a secret so you can live your life fully. You're young I didn't want to put this down on you, I...." He started to talk fast and all I could think of is to grab his face and gave him a quick kiss to shut him up, I didn't think our first kiss would be in this situation. He just kept sniffling and kept looking at me with those puppy like eyes. "Are you mad at me?" I shook my head, I'm not mad at him at all, a bit upset yes but I could never get mad at him. "No I'm not mad, I'm just a bit surprised that's all and umm...sorry about the kiss. I just wanted you to stop crying."

"Do you kiss anyone whenever you want them to stop doing something?" I just shook my head, then again everything went quiet, don't know what to do now with the current information.

"I'll drop you off to work before you're late." Once I dropped him off I asked hyung if I could stop by at his place, he hesistated at first but agreed anyways. Being a father is hard but the relationship I have with Mark right now is more like a friend, I have no idea how he'll react if he finds out the truth. I just hope he accepts me as his dad.

I know I promised hyung that I'll stop by at his place but there was an unexpected meeting and I have no idea when it'll end, I was getting fidgety and just want to be out of here. By the time the meeting ended it was close to 12 am and I know it's way too late to go over at hyung's now. I called him up to apologize and explain why I couldn't come over and he said it was alright. I asked him if he would want to have lunch with me tomorrow and he agreed, since we're both busy I can only ask him for lunch. I was a bit dissapointed that I couldn't see both of them but I'll make sure I spend more time with them.

The next few weeks I asked hyung if we are ever going to tell Mark about me, he didn't want to at first but he knew that it would be unfair to both Mark and I. I understood that he didn't want Mark to be confused since he have only known me for a short while and I promised to hyung that I will always be there for him and Mark. Everytime I visit I try my best to be a father figure to him, he's only 5 so I don't think he really understand what I was doing. I've been coming to hyung's place almost every night since I found out and I'm not regretting it at all, I've never been excited to be out of work since I was kind of known as a workaholic at the office since I barely go home. That all changed when I met hyung at WinWin and Yuta's engagement party, I would be the first one to clock out just so I can get to hyung's place a bit early and spend a little more time with my family, it's kind of weird saying it but I like the tone of it. Spending time at hyung's place really feels like we're a family and it's also been a while since I had homemade food, I never knew hyung is such a good cook, duh Jaehyun that's why hyung is going to cullinary school, I could eat his food for the rest of my life.

Whenever I have to leave I already want the night to be over so I can comeback. I haven't even told my parents about hyung nor about Mark, I have no idea how they'll react, having a grandchild that's already 5 years old they will for sure be mad at me. I missed out 5 years of my son's life and from now on I won't miss a thing anymore. I'm also trying to convince hyung if I could meet his parents, I just want to do everything the right way, they might kill me cause I got their son pregnant but it'll be worth it for sure. Hyung wants to take things slow and I feel bad for pressuring him into doing stuff, everything is so new to me and for sure he feels weird too.

I don't know how I feel about this chapter...