"You went on a date with Jaehyun!? Lee Taeyong are you out of your mind!!?!?" Johnny came over at my place after finding out that I had lunch with Jaehyun earlier. Since I got home all I did is clean the place and Johnny has been on my tail basically yelling at me because I went out to lunch with him. He found out from Yuta who forced SiCheng to tell him what he was keeping from him.

"It wasn't a date Johnny, we were just having lunch." I can't believe I'm getting yelled like I'm still a kid, not even from my parents but from my best friend.

"Why didn't you call me then? I could've picked you up." after minutes of following me around and yelling at me he finally sat down on the couch.

"You had work and when did I ever call you to come pick me up from school?...And it's not like I knew he was going to be there anyways."

I told Johnny about everything that happned and what we talked about, he insisted I tell him everything since I don't like keeping things from him. I told him that he asked about Mark's other parent and I told him that that person is not in the picture and that he never actually asked for the name. "Are you ever gonna tell him who Mark's father is?"

"He doesn't need to know about Mark, I carried and cared for Mark by myself, with the help of you and parents of course, we don't need him in our life. Mark don't need him."

"How sure are you that Mark don't need another parent?" I looked at Johnny and I've questioned myself with that too but I just know we don't need him.

"Don't you remember when Mark was bullied for the first few days of school because the other kids found out he only has one parent? As much as I hate Jaehyun doesn't he need to know about Mark?" Johnny is right but I'm just scared and I never thought I was gonna see him ever again anyways. I slumped down ont he couch next to Johnny and tears filled my eyes.

"What if when I tell him...he doesn't want anything to do with Mark? Or worse...what if he takes him away from me?" I started to cry imagining Mark not being in my life. Johnny started to pat my back trying to calm me down, I'd die if he takes him away from me.

"You know what let's not talk about him, if you don't want to tell him it's fine."

After a few days he texted me that he's gonna come by to my work, I regret telling him where I work and giving him my number, he waited outside in the parking lot. I have to keep this from Johnny or he's gonna end up yelling at me again. "How long have you been standing there? You know you could've waited inside the car." I don't know why I agreed to see him, maybe I just needed closure?

I told him I have to go pick up Mark from my parents in a few minutes and he said that we'll just go pick him up so that it won't be a hassle for me later which is true since it's starting to raining and I don't want Mark to get sick.

We drove to my parents place and we barely talked on the way there, I really don't know what to talk about anyways. When we got to my parents place I told him to just stay in the car because I don't want to explain anything from my parents who he is. When Mark got into the car he said 'Hi' to Jaehyun thinking it was Johnny. "Hello Mark, my name is Jaehyun. I'm your appa's friend." Mark hesistated but greeted him anyways.

Jaehyun took us to a restaurant to eat since I guess he just got off work and didn't get to eat yet. When we were eating he seemed to take care of Mark, from helping him order his food to wiping the side of his mouth whenever theres sauce or something. In the middle of it I thought about what Johnny said a few days ago about telling him who Mark's father is. "Jaehyun-ah...why are you doing this exactly?"

"What do you mean hyung?" Mark got busy watching cartoons from Jaehyun's phone.

"Why take me or us out, what are you trying to do?" I don't want to beat around the bush anymore and just ask him directly.

"Umm...Honestly? I wanna court you hyung, I wanna get to know you and maybe get into a relationship?" he looked like a little kid that did something wrong.

"Even though I have a kid you're okay with that? I have school and work and barely have time with my own life, you're okay with that?"

"That really doesn't matter to me hyung, I'm pretty patient, I can wait for as long as it takes for you to accept me."

After the late dinner he drove us home I can barely see the road because of the rain, he carried Mark since he fell asleep and I carried mine and Mark's stuff. I directed him to Mark's room so he could put him down, we walked towards the door and we were about to reach it when a lightning flashed followed by a blackout. I can hear Mark crying looking for me in the dark, once I found him and lifted him up and he just burried his tiny face in the crook of my neck crying and saying he was scared. Jaehyun was telling me that he's gonna go and I can't believe I did this but I stopped him and told him that he can't go in this kind of weather. He argued saying it's fine but I can't be responsible for his death since it's literally raining cats and dogs outside and you can barely see the road.

I told him to just sleepover for the night or at least wait till the rain dies down till it's safe to drive, told him that he could sleep in Mark's room since Mark will be sleeping with me, I have no idea how long it's gonna rain but Mark hates the thunder and lightning.

When I woke up the next morning the rain calmed down, Mark is still in his deep sleep on my bed, it's a weekend so I let him sleep as long as he wants. I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and while I was preparing the ingredients I remember Jaehyun is in Mark's room sleeping, I peeked in the room and he's still in his deep sleep as well. Him and Mark have the same sleeping habits, they both like to hug the blanket, he really is Mark's dad. I closed the door and went back to the kitchen and finish getting ready. After a few minutes after I got done cooking both Mark and Jaehyun came out from the rooms both rubbing their eyes and yawning. "Breakfast is ready, sit down and eat."

After having breakfast Jaehyun offered to wash the dishes, I told him it's not necessary since he's a guest here. "No hyung please let me do it. You let me stay in your place for the night and even fed me breakfast." I can't say anything since he's basically pushing me away from the sink.

Jaehyun was about to leave and when Mark came up to us by the door holding my hand. "Uncle Jaehyun are you gonna come back and play with me?" He gave Jaehyun that puppy eyes that always work on other people but not on me, not anymore at least. He kneeled down to Mark's eye level and patted him on the head. "It's up to your appa if I can come back or not."

Him and Mark looked at me waiting for my answer and how can I say no to my son when he's having fun with Jaehyun, and he seem to have fun with Mark as well and doesn't seem to get tired from it. I don't think this is a good idea and I will for sure get yelled at if Johnny finds out. I agreed that they can play together but only on weekends when he doesn't have school. 

Once Jaehyun is gone I got Mark ready for him to go to my parents since I have work, all day I could only think about Jaehyun. He was so good with Mark that I think he'll be a good father but I have no idea how he'll react once he finds out that Mark is his. I wish I never went to that party so I wouldn't be able to meet him, everything was going great when he wasn't around and now I'm all stressed out, I don't know what to do anymore.

That night at the party that Johnny threw I didn't remember much but all I could collect from that next morning was that I woke up in the guest room fully dressed, I was so drunk that I didn't think anything happened but I do know that that was the only time I ever slept with someone. It was all a blur but a vague memory of Jaehyun on top of me kept popping in my head, we were both drunk at that time so we weren't in our right minds at all, it was a mistake from both our sides. Maybe that's why he avoided me in high school after that party because it was just a mistake, a mistake but I don't regret it at all, that mistake gave me my son the reason why I work hard just to give him everything he deserves.

I don't know why I still let him in our lives, I don't know why I can't push him away. He still have the same effect on me like back when we were in high school. As much as I want to push him away part of me want to hold on tight, I just don't want to get hurt anymore especially from him. That little fantasy I had in high school is coming back and I'm being drowned.

-I have no idea what to say on these things anymore