While Heechul was busy strangling the unfortunate rapper with an elastic luggage tag, things were slowly spiraling into chaos on the other end of the airport.

“I could have sworn we were supposed to turn at that last hallway,” Zhou Mi mused, peering curiously at the directory.

“No, that leads back to the parking garage,” Sungmin disagreed. He pointed plane-shaped icon on the far right. “This is where we’re supposed to go.”

Donghae scratched his head. “Isn’t that the runway?”

“No, this is a runway!”

“I thought that was an escalator…”

“Does anyone see a hippopotamus statue nearby?”

“I think that symbol is supposed to be a restaurant…”

Siwon, Henry, Kibum, and Hangeng had already given up trying to determine their location. The Canadian was reclining against Zhou Mi’s enormous suitcase with an expression of absolute boredom. Hangeng was lovingly polishing his pot for the fifth time that morning, and Kibum sat quietly contemplating the odds of the group getting to their flight on time. Siwon, it appeared, had begun preaching a small sermon to Sungmin’s pink carry-on bag.

“Heavenly Father,” he droned, “Direct the steps of the lost, heal the blisters of swollen feet, and fill the heads of the directionally challenged with Your infinite wisdom.” He lifted his eyes to the opaque ceiling of the terminal and began humming softly.

Henry, growing tired of picking at his hangnails, eventually looked up and glanced around. His forehead furrowed a bit and he carefully took in each of the faces of the other members. “Guys… where’s Yesung?”

The other members barely spared him a glance.

“Probably with the other group,” Sungmin said dismissively.

“No, Henry’s right,” Siwon answered. “Yesung was the one who pressed the wrong button in the elevator and sent us all to the sewage maintenance area, remember?”

“I’ll never forget,” Zhou Mi said darkly.

Donghae put a hand on the Chinese man’s shoulder as if to restrain his wrath. “Well if he’s not with us, where is he?” he asked.

“Yesung!”

“Yesung!”

“YEEEESUUUNNNNGGG!”

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

Hangeng glanced down at his pot. “It doesn’t quite have the same effect without Heechul, does it?” he mused.

“Yesung! Yesung…!”

“Excuse me,” a young girl’s voice interrupted. The group started suddenly and turned around. Before them was a girl who was perhaps thirteen or fourteen at most, clad entirely in blue and staring at them with awestruck eyes.

She reached out an uncertain hand and poked Donghae firmly in the nose.

“Um…”

“You’re real,” she whispered. “It’s really Super Junior!” At her words, and entire swarm of identical girls converged upon the members.
“KYAAA~! SUPER JUNIOR!” They shrieked.

“Oh, no…” Donghae whimpered. He ducked suddenly as ten hands reached out to claw at his hair.

“FISHY~! WE LOVE OUR FISHY~!”

“No! No! We’re not Super Junior!” Siwon protested, waving his hands unconvincingly.

“KYAA~! He waved!”

 Kibum tried, “I’m sorry, but you must be confused… We just happen to be a bunch of regular—”

“KYAAA~! He spoke!”

Kibum frowned. “I’m not mute, you know…” he muttered.

 “Oppas!” One fangirl yelled, “Where are the other oppas?”

“Are we not enough?” Henry grumbled.

“Where’s Kyu-oppa?” One girl protested.  Printed across her shirt were the words Gamer 4 Life.

Another girl holding a sign bearing the words Petal 4Ever called out, “What about our Heenim?”

Zhou Mi opened his mouth explain that they were all lost, but was cut off by a shriek. “OHMYKYU! It’s him!” The girl pointed her finger wildly at Hangeng.

“Me?”

“POT-OPPAAAAAAAA!! KYAAAA~!”

“POT- OPPA! POT-OPPA!”

“POT-OPPA! MARRY ME!”

“POT- OPPA!”

“POT-OPPA! I WANT TO BEAR YOUR TEACUPS!”

The fans turned away from the other members and swarmed around their new bias.

“I feel… forgotten,” Sungmin noted.

Henry nodded. “I never imagined that I’d be less popular than a kitchen utensil,” he admitted.

Donghae sighed in amazement. “I checked last night. Apparently, Pot-hyung’s personal fan café has over 150,000 members.”

Siwon let out a respectful whistle. “Impressive. What are they called again? Scoops?”

“Ladles,” Kibum corrected.

“Don’t tell Heechul, but HanPot has recently overtaken Hanchul in a poll on OTPs,” Zhou Mi confided. “And it’s steadily gaining on Eunhae.”

“Never!” Donghae declared.

“KYAAA~! POT-OPPA! I LOVE YOU~!”

“POT- OPPA~!”

“POT-OPPA! SING FOR US!”

Hangeng, arms still encircled protectively about the pot, cast a desperate look at the others. “Help me,” he mouthed. They could only shrug in reply.

“SING! SING! SING!” The fans commanded.

Hangeng paused uncertainly, and then raised one arm.

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“KYAAAAAAAA~~!” The fans all swooned happily. “Again! Again!” They cried.

In a flash of inspiration, Kibum, the great military strategist, realized their fatal flaw. He squeezed between the shrieking crowd to the Chinese member and leaned over to whisper furtively in his ear. “Do it again,” he murmured. “And when their knees get weak, run for it!” He gave the older member a knowing look and disappeared again to inform the others.

Hangeng drew a deep breath and gazed at the chanting crowd. “Sing! Sing! Sing!” They cried.

One… Hangeng counted.

Two….

 Three.

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAA~!”

“RUN!” Siwon yelled. The members grabbed their stuff and raced away as if a pack of angry Heechuls were on their tail.

“POT-OPPA! COME BAAAAAACK!” The girls screamed in disappointment.

“Go! Go! Go!” Zhou Mi screeched, sprinting down the terminal with carry-on bags flapping uselessly behind him. The group flew down the hall in a blur of frenzied movement.

In a rush, the members darted into the refuge of the men’s bathroom. All were completely out of breath and panting for air. All, of course, save for the eternal athlete, Ma Siwon, who stared at the dying members around him with an amused air.

“You guys should really come work out at the gym with me more often,” he criticized. Five pairs of eyes glared back at him.

“Don’t… you… say… another… word,” Zhou Mi huffed.

Sungmin clutched his chest as he panted. “I think… we may have… broken Teukie’s speed record… when we’re running late for schedules…” he gasped.

“I think… I popped… a lung…” Henry wheezed.

“Water…” Donghae croaked. He reached into Henry’s carry-on and pulled out a metal canteen. He uncapped it hastily and put it to his lips. But before he took a sip, he cast a suspicious glance in the direction of Kibum.

The eternal prankster raised his hands innocently. “I didn’t switch it with lemon juice,” he defended. “Do you really think I’d do such a thing?”

The fish nodded gratefully and poured it down his throat. Within seconds, he was retching it back up.

“Instead, I switched it with vinegar,” Kibum finished evilly.

Donghae spit the last drops out and stared at the younger man with watering eyes. “Yeah, I noticed,” he rasped.

Siwon muttered softly and made the sign of the cross in Kibum’s direction. “Lord, banish this demon from within his soul,” he said gravely.

Henry cleared his throat loudly. “As much as I’d like to stay in an airport bathroom all day, do you think we should get going now?”

“We have to find Yesung first,” Sungmin pointed out.

“Where could he be?” Kibum wondered.

Hangeng pondered for a moment. “Well, where can you find bugs in an airport?”

“I am not going back to that sewage maintenance facility!” Zhou Mi declared firmly.

Behind the members, a toilet flushed loudly. The stall door swung slowly open to reveal a green-faced monster with frail, shaking hands.

“AAH!” The members yelled.

“S’m’ne say my name?” The monster slurred.

“YESUNG?!”

“What happened to you?” Sungmin asked.

Yesung swayed on the spot. “Well… Long story short… I might have eaten waffles for breakfast this morning…”

Henry scratched his head. “What was wrong with the waffles?”

“Kyuhyun made them,” Kibum explained. “Fortunately, Leeteuk caught him before he could hurt someone with them and made him throw them out.” Kibum paused. “Well, before he could hurt too many people with them, at least,” he amended. Yesung clapped a hand over his mouth and rushed back into the stall.

* * *

When the group finally rejoined the others at the check-in desk fifteen-minutes later, they could all sense the change in atmosphere completely.

A dark cloud seemed to be surrounding the leader, who stood up slowly to face the new arrivals. “Where. have. you. BEEN?!?!” he screeched. “WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! LATE!!!”

Yesung stumbled out of the second group and launched himself at Kyuhyun. Gripping the maknae by the front of his shirt, Yesung began to throttle the younger member, screaming, “WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THOSE WAFFLES?!”

Donghae leapt into Eunhyuk’s arms with a cry of “Hyukkie! I missed you!”

“IF WE MISS THIS FLIGHT, I WILL TIE YOU ALL INTO A RAFT AND PADDLE US ALL THE WAY TO CANADA, YOU HEAR?!”

“Did you add arsenic instead of maple syrup?! Why am I dying?!”

“I missed you too, Fishy!”

“We got held up by a crowd of Ladles!” Sungmin tried to explain.

“I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS BAZOOKA-CARRYING DUST BUNNIES! DIDN’T I SAY TO MEET US BY THE—Wait. A crowd of what?”

“Ladles,” Hangeng repeated. “You know…”

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

“HANGENG!! I WILL STUFF YOU IN MY SUITCASE AND THROW YOU OFF THE PLANE MID-FLIGHT!”

Happy Valentine's Day! Or Single Awareness Day, depending on your degree of forever-aloneness. :P Just kidding, I love you~ <3

Special shout-out to my awesome dongsaeng ChoKyute, #1 Ladle. ^^