In the end, the members weren’t able to all fit, no matter whether or not they held their breath.  Finally, Kibum had put a stop to the madness by suggesting that they go in two groups. Leeteuk, finally seeing the light of reason, hastily ushered Heechul, Ryeowook, Kangin, Shindong, Eunhyuk, and Kyuhyun into the elevator along with himself.

“We’ll meet you at the front desk!” He yelled back at the remaining members. “Hangeng, you’re in charge, okay?” He just barely caught the Chinese member’s thumbs-up before the doors slid shut and the elevator lurched upward.

“Is it really okay for us to divide up like this?” Ryeowook worried.

Shindong frowned. “Now that I think of it, did we just leave all the Chinese members in the same group together?”

“I can just imagine them getting lost by themselves,” Kyuhyun cackled.

“Well, they do have Siwon, Sungmin, Hae, and Yesung with them,” Eunhyuk reasoned. “So at least someone should be able to read the map.”

Kangin shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. We still have our trump card, right?” The others stared at him blankly. “We split up the Eunhae couple,” Kangin explained. “And Donghae’s got a built-in Eunhyuk tracker, doesn’t he?”

“Ah…” The group nodded.

With a soft ding, the doors slid open, revealing the bustling terminal of the airport.

“Hurry!” Leeteuk urged.

“Aish! We know!” Heechul snapped. “You’ve been repeating that since dinner yesterday! Are you a broken record?”

The leader made no reply except to forcefully shove the members out of the elevator. With another cry about being late, he charged down the terminal in a blur of arms, legs, and bright blue suitcases.

Shindong leaned over to Kyuhyun. “One day, we’ll have to get him measured,” the older one whispered. “To see if he’s broken some kind of land speed record yet.”

“It’s especially impressive if we take age into account,” the maknae smirked, before following their leader to the check-in desk.

Sitting behind the desk was a blonde woman who looked to be in her early forties. Her hooked nose and double-lidded eyes showed that she was clearly not Korean. Every now and then, she would let out an enormous yawn and peer dismally at her long-empty coffee cup. Obviously, she had been working the night shift. She was pale as a ghost, save for the dark rings around her eyes and her blood-red nail polish.

Ryeowook took one look at the woman and let out a small squeak. He turned to tug on Leeteuk’s sleeve. “Hyung… She looks really scary! Like a dead person! Or vampire!” He trembled. “Can we wait in some other line?”

The leader shook his head. “We’re already running late,” he reminded the younger member. Leeteuk took another look at the woman a hesitated a bit. “No,” he decided, “Let’s check in here.” Bravely, he walked forward to the attendant.

Ryewook shivered and turned to Eunhyuk. “She looks like she eats idols for breakfast!” he squeaked. The rapper could only nod in agreement.

“At least she won’t recognize us,” Kangin noted. “It’d be troublesome to run into a bunch of ELFs if we’re already running this late…”

Wookie shook his head. “ELFs are much nicer than cannibal-ajummas!” he declared.

“Why is there even a foreigner working in a Korean airport?” Eunhyuk wondered aloud.

“The airline company probably transferred her overseas,” Shindong rationalized.

“She’s scary!” Wookie repeated.

“Excuse me!” Leeteuk said confidently to the woman. She glared up resentfully at him with bloodshot eyes. The leader quailed slightly under her baleful stare, but continued. “We’d like to check in for our flight.”

The lady just gave him a blank look. “Huh?”

Now it was the leader who looked confused. “We’d… like… to… check… in… for… our… flight…” he repeated slowly.

“Huh?”

Shindong sidled up to Leeteuk. “I don’t think she speaks Korean,” he confided. “Maybe English?”

At these words, Heechul’s eyes lit up. “Excuse me,” he slid right past his leader and leaned against the counter. “Yo, man! You are so gorgeous,” he smiled beatifically at the woman.

She stared at him blankly, sagging open slightly.

Heechul struggled for a second to find the words, and tried again. “You look like Whoopi Goldberg,” he offered.

Now the woman just looked confused. “What?”

Heechul turned away and faced the members. “I don’t think she speaks English either,” he declared.

“Try calling her a poodle,” Kyuhyun suggested.

“I collect cars!” Eunhyuk added unhelpfully. The woman began reaching under her desk to find the emergency button to call security.

“Are you all idiots?” Kangin reprimanded. “Just let the people who actually speak English do the talking!”

Leeteuk clapped his hands happily. “Ah! Good idea! Henry~!” His eyes scanned the members in his group. “…Henry?”

“We left him in the other group,” Shindong said glumly.

“Well,” Leeteuk struggled, “At least we have Kibum!”

“Other group.”

“Um… I guess Siwonnie is pretty good at English…?”

“Other group.”

“YAH!” Heechul exploded. “Why did you incompetent idiots get on the elevator instead of them?!”

“Oh, like your English is so great,” Kangin retorted.

The woman regarded the squabbling members curiously. “Um… Did you guys want to check in?”

At these key words, seven faces whipped around to stare at her in expressions of joy.

“Yes!” Leeteuk cheered. “Check in!” He bounded up to the woman and waved their passports enthusiastically. “Check, check, check, SUCCESS!”

The lady ignored him and began clicking away at her keyboard. “Names?”

Leeteuk looked helplessly at s.

“She’s asking who we are,” Eunhyuk translated uncertainly.

“How is it possible that your English is this bad?” Kangin criticized.

The leader turned back to the attendant. “Ah… We are Super Juni—“ he paused, “OR!” He his open palm in the woman’s face and grinned widely. The lady scooted back from the desk in alarm.

“Idiot,” Kyuhyun snorted. “She’s asking for our names, obviously.”

“Here, let me do it,” Heechul said impatiently. He pushed his way to the front and began ticking off the names on his fingers. “Park Junsoo. Kim Heechul. Hangeng. Kim Jongwoon. Kim Youngwoon. Shin Donghee. Kim Sungmin—“

“It’s Lee Sungmin,” Kyuhyun interrupted.

“Isn’t that what I said?! Kim Sungmin—“

“Lee.”

“LEE SUNGMIN—“

“You don’t seem to be very close to Sungmin, hyung.”

“YAH! STOP MESSING ME UP! Lee Sungmin. Lee Hyukjae. Zhou Mi. Kim Donghae—“

“Lee Donghae.”

“WHATEVER! Kim is a better name anyway!”

“Cho is actually better.”

“CHO KYUHYUN! I WILL STUFF YOU IN HANGENG’S POT AND DANGLE YOU FROM THE UNDERSIDE OF THE PLANE!”

Leeteuk nudged the other member lightly. “You were at Donghae,” he reminded.

Heechul let out a loud huff. “Lee Donghae. Choi Siwon. Lee Ryeowook—“

“Kim Ryeowook.”

“NOW HE WANTS TO BE A KIM?!”

“Who cares?! Hurry up and finish!” Kangin demanded.

Heechul narrowed his eyes but spat the last names out through gritted teeth. “Kim Ryeowook. Kim Kibum. Cho Kyuhyun. Henry Lau.”

“You forgot one~” Kyuhyun sang annoyingly.

“Are you stupid?! That’s fifteen! Who else is there?!”

Eunhyuk scratched his head. “What about Pot-hyung?”

Heechul turned slowly to the blonde rapper with an apocalyptic look on his face. “Which idiot…” he began dangerously, “reserved a first-class seat for a kitchen utensil?”

Eunhyuk raised his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t look at me!”

The lady at the desk cleared uncertainly and began reading off the names. “Kim Junmin, Park Heesung, Sigeng, Lee Younghee, Shin Sunghae, Choi Hyukwoon, Cho Midong, Kim Zhouwook, Lee Ryeohyun, Kim Kyubum, Kim Henjong, Kim Kiwon, Shin Laujae, Sunghan, Lee Rychul?” She squinted down at her computer screen for a minute. “Oh, and Pot.”

There was a stunned silence.

“Amazing.” Kangin muttered. “She got none of them right.”

“Except Pot-hyung!” Eunhyuk noted brightly.

Heechul threw his hands in the air in exasperation. “Great! We’ll all miss our flights! Oh, except Pot-hyung of course,” he added sarcastically.

“Here.” Ryeowook timidly shoved a list of all the members’ names into the woman’s hands. “Maybe this will help,” he offered.

The lady nodded and began typing again. Within a few moments, the printer spat out their boarding passes.

“Good job, Wookie!” Leeteuk beamed.

“Would you like to check your luggage as well?” The woman asked robotically. She noted the dumbfounded looks and began pointing to the objects in question. “Luggage,” she repeated. “Check.”

“Ah!” Leeteuk started. “Yes, yes.” He looked back at the members. “That means we give her the suitcases, right?” he confirmed.

The others nodded.

Shindong raised a hand cautiously. “Small problem…” he began.

“NOW what?!” Heechul snapped.

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, we’re kind of missing half of Super Junior,” Kyuhyun said dryly.

“And Pot-hyung!” Eunhyuk added.

“WILL YOU STOP BRINGING THAT INFERNAL POT INTO OUR CONVERSATIONS?!”