Yoonhyun's Love

 

 

***

 

 

Seohyun returned home with a heavy heart. She didn't hear her father's call as she went straight to her room with that stuff toy Yoona gifted. She slides down her body against the door and hugs her knees. Slowly but surely, her tears are starting to drop again as she recalls everything that happens for the past three months and she is guilty upon realizing that indeed, she was too busy helping and being friend with Yuri that she is unconsciously forgetting and hurting the doe-eyed. It hurts and at the same time she's ashamed of herself because she did it like she doesn't care about her anymore. As if it's Yuri her girlfriend not her. As if she is happier with her than with her girlfriend for the past years. She hated herself for that. "I'm sorry, Yoona." She began to sob harder and harder as she burried her face on her knees, feeling like the worse person in the world. She doesn't deserve such person like Yoona. She doesn't deserve anyone and she deserves to be hatred.

 

--

 

"I broke up with her." Yoona said wearily to after she calmed down. Nicole brought her to the park instead of talking in her house. She sighs, couldn't lift her head up to face the latter sitting next to her in a swing.

 

"Chincha?!" Nicole is stunned to hear it. "I-I thought... I thought you just saw them together again and left? Why?!"

 

Yoona's fresh new tears dropped freely but she hastily wiped it off. "It was too much... To handle. It had been months... I can't continue keep quite anymore. She needs to know what I am feeling otherwise, she will completely be forgot about me. Worse, I will hear her saying she doesn't love me anymore. It's better if it's me. I will go crazy if that will happen." She bit her lower lip and clutch into her chest as the pain gets worst. Feeling like she will have a heart attack at any moment.

 

Nicole slowly reached the deer's back and rub it gently. "I get it. And I know it hurts to break up with her also. Pretty sure she realized it now. It'll be alright soon." She softly comforted.

 

Yoona remained silent for the next couple of hours until she's the one who broke it. "It'll be alright without her anymore. It'll be alright, right?"

 

"You will still see her still since you guys are classmates but if you're determined with that, ignore her. Move on from pain coz that will not help you. I mean, use this as a motivation to keep going. You have a big future ahead it doesn't end here, okay? It's just a breakup. You can live without her. You can keep your studies going without her. We are still in high school so I believe time will heals and there's another opportunity to find love again."

 

Yoona take note on what Seohyun has said and it made her determine to move on and forget about her first love.

 

"It will be hard but I believe you can do this. Himnae, Im Yoona." Nicole added as she cheered for her.

 

 

***

 

 

For the first time since three months, Seohyun realized Yoona doesn't fetch her anymore. And she misses seeing her bright face that will instantly make her day. She let out a long sigh as she completely walked out the gate but she stopped the memories of hurting doe-eyed flashes back on her mind, just the same spot where she's standing. Her eyes are exhausted like she didn't enough sleep from crying her heart out for three days now but she refused to missed the day. Either way, tomorrow is Saturday and she can rest.

 

"Need a ride?" However, as she continues her way, she heard her father's voice. She smiled a little and did not answer anymore as she hoop inside the car. "She doesn't fetch you anymore, does she?"

 

Surprised by her father's question, she looked at him with eyes widening. "How-"

 

"She's always in front of our gate. How wouldn't I know? I think she began not fetching you anymore three weeks ago."

 

'Three weeks.' Seohyun sighs once again. Even though she thought months, it's still her fault why.

 

"What's wrong?" Mr. Seo asks as he glanced to his daughter and focus back to the road. "You don't like fine for three days now."

 

Seohyun forced a smile. "Nothing. I'm just tired." Reassuring him.

 

"Please don't like to me." Mr. Seo is worried. "You and Yoona, haven't seen you guys together. You can share to me whatever it is."

 

Seohyun shakes her head. "Nothing really. We're fine. We're just too busy that we can't see earlier in the morning anymore."

 

"Aigoo, speaking of her. I saw her father two days ago in a mall. We had a couple of minutes of conversation but we went up talking about you and Yoona." Mr. Seo shares as he recalls his conversation with a good friend also.

 

"Wae?"

 

"Well, he plans to bring Yoona with her in the U.S. after graduation."

 

Upon hearing the words, Seohyun's heart, aches. "Why would... he-he... bring her there?"

 

"Yoona mentioned to him that she wanted to take the entrance exam of Harvard that was recently reported on TV. It was a good timing that his boss is also planning to relocate his work in the U.S. I immediately mentioned about you and your relationship with her daughter. Because if that's the case, you guys will have a long-distance relationship. Unless you will also take the entrance exam and you two will study abroad together." Mr. Seo ended his small story but he did not hear any response. So, he took a look on the passenger seat. Seohyun is quiet and is spacing out. 'Something is really going on with them.' He did not continue anymore and focus on driving until they reached her school.

 

"Before I forgot, tell your girlfriend to come for dinner with her family."

 

Seohyun stopped form walking after hearing her father. She turned and took a couple of stepped to bend down and ask him, "Pardon?" As if she didn't hear it loud and clear.

 

"I missed them already. Ask her to come with her family for dinner. Don't forget." Mr. Seo said and rolled the window up and drives off, leaving his daughter dumbfounded.

 

Seohyun blinks a couple of times and shakes her head until she has on her right mind. She her back and continue her way to their school.

 

"Seohyun-ah!" But once again, she stopped. But this time, Yuri called her. She hastily turn to face her with an intense stare. "Wae?"

 

"Yuri, I'm sorry to say this but can we stop seeing each other?" She plans to ask her that but she can't wait for the lunch break anymore and blurted it out.

 

"Why?" Yuri is taken aback. "What did I do wrong?" And she's confused.

 

"It's not you, it's me. Let's stop the tutorial also. I think I helped you enough. I hope you understand."

 

"Wait, why? I don't get it."

 

"I'm hurting Yoona the more I keep close with you." Seohyun blurted bluntly.

 

"We're just friends, I thought she know that?" Yuri replied still confused.

 

"She knows but I am the one at fault. I wasn't aware of my changes until she told me. So please, just leave me alone from now on. I don't want to hurt her even more." Seohyun declared and walked away.

 

"What about me?" Yuri caught up that instant.

 

"Please understand. Yoona, she's hurting." Seohyun firmly said which caught few eyes from students passing at them.

 

Yuri mentally scolded herself. "I'm-I'm... sorry for that. It wasn't my intention. But, can I help you about this? I will talk to her if that's-"

 

"That will only worsen the situation. Don't not mind about this but please don't tell anyone."

 

"I promise."

 

"Thanks." Seohyun is glad and she walked ahead before Yuri does. But as she gets closer and closer to their closer especially when she saw the bicycle outside after three days of her absence, her heart is pounding so bad while it's in pain. It's unbelievable that she can still even smile to her friends and few teachers she passes through after what happened. Maybe because she is determined to ask for forgiveness.

 

Just as she reached their classroom, she immediately found Yoona, sitting on her usual seat, busy reviewing on her notes. But she has to stop from entering as she gives herself time to relax first and ready herself. It only took her three minutes and she resume. Her eyes are glued to Yoona as she made her way to her seat. She noticed her eye-bags and that only means she had been crying like her. It hurts to recall that again but she brushed it off until she has seated. But Yoona never left her eyes on her notes, unlike every time she arrived. She suddenly missed her bright smiles and the way she would proudly tell her classmates she loves her. That Yoona is no more and she blames herself for that. She can't help and bit lower lip and mentally cursed herself again and again. But quickly brushed it away, otherwise, she will break down.

 

Taking a deep breath and slowly out, she slowly turned her head to Yoona but before she can open to speak, the latter get up and left their room. It was... cold. And it hurts so much. It's like she was stabbed on the heart that she almost forgot to breath. But somehow, she thinks she deserve it. Everything that she did has consequence and she's now experiencing it. 'This will be a long day.' She just busy herself by reading but from time to time, she will stop and just feel depress, especially when the good memories cross her mind.

 

Will she able to ask for her forgiveness or will they completely parted ways? Just by thinking the future without her, it's hard to imagine. It's bringing tears in her eyes again but she refused to be seen and wipes them off away.

 

 

***

 

 

"She keeps staring at me during lectures." Yoona shared to Nicole while they're having lunch together. Compared to the last time, Seohyun is not around and if she even sits with them, she will just ignore her.

 

"That's good then." Nicole said. She's disappointed with Seohyun and she believes she deserve it. "You will get used to it. Just keep doing it." But part of her also wanted to see them back together. She thinks the more Yoona ignores her, the more Seohyun will find a way to talk to her. It's something she realizes after advising her friend to ignore her ex-girlfriend.

 

Yoona couldn't handle and she got teary again. "But I miss her. I miss her so much." and she just sobs as she broke down. It was so hard for her to ignore her especially when she can smell her perfume and her presence killed her inside. She got up and rushed to the comfort room where she locked herself and cried. Unknown to her, on the third stall, Seohyun was crying also but stopped when she heard muffle sounds of cries from the distance and she recognized it well that it pains her more. She once again confirms how bad she is as a person for hurting someone that she loves.

 

"She's fine. She just had a hard time studying." Nicole tried to explain to few students that looked at her in concern. She sighs and continue her meal.

 

 

***

 

 

"Seohyun, Yoona."

 

Everyone except the named students are happy to hear the couple's name. It's not like they're happy to see them fighting in taekwondo class but it's fun to see Yoona getting all the hit because she obviously doesn't want to hurt Seohyun.

 

"Can you change that, Teacher Kang?" Yoona unconsciously requested. As much as she wants to ignore her, it seems she can't. They're in the same class and their teachers are fond of them. "I don't-"

 

"Come on Yoona. It's your time to take a revenge. The last session, Seohyun had the advantage." Their teacher insists which makes their classmates help her to pursue the deer.

 

Seohyun didn't say anything. She slowly stood from where she's sitting and walk to the center. Yoona is across her not even staring at her. She doesn't want to do it also but she can't pursue their teacher if she also joins the deer's request.

 

"Im Yoona! Im Yoona! Im Yoona!" Everyone cheered loudly.

 

"Fine." Doesn't have any choice, Yoona got up and she walked to the center to finally have an eye-contact with Seohyun, who is obviously not happy to be in the position. She bowed so deep and the latter followed. However, unlike the last time, she just stood in front of her, staring at her deeply like she's speaking through her eyes. "Wae?" She got annoyed and wanted to snapped her out. Then she noticed she's biting her lower lip are her eyes started to show tears. Doesn't want anyone to see it, Yoona advances and kicked her on her right side which she didn't dodge and almost loses her balance. Everyone did not expect it and started cheering for Seohyun.

 

"Yah! Seo Joohyun! Wake up!" she advances again and was able to hit her on her stomach. She took few steps back before dropped on the floor. "Aish!" She walks forwards and check on her but the latter smile.

 

"Hit me more." Seohyun told her as she get up.

 

"What?" Yoona is stunned.

 

"Hit me more. I deserve it after everything I did."

 

"Are you insane?" Yoona did not except to hear that.

 

Seohyun just smile and took her hands and used it to hit her in the face. But Yoona quickly pulled her hands away.

 

"Teacher Hwang. Can we excuse ourselves first?"

 

"Yeah." Yoona dragged her outside and brought her to the roof top. "GET YOURSELF TOGETHER!" She can't help it and shouted, got annoyed. "Why can't you just pretend we're fine?! Is it hard to do that?"

 

Seohyun's legs weakened and crouched down, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Yoona." she once again broke down. But this time, she is in front of her, apologizing. "Please forgive... me." she chocke at her own words. "I admit. I am guilty about it. And I know I should suffer just like how you suffered handling me. I'm so stupid. I'm so ing stupid... I really am... But I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry. Please... I can't handle this... we're like this... I never... intend to do this... to you. I swear." She gets up and rushed to Yoona, grabbing her hands. "Give me a chance please. Give us a chance. I promise, nothing will happen like this anymore. Hmm? Yoona, please... pretty please... "

 

"Yah! Let go!" Yoona tried to let go but she refused and she even hug her.

 

"Yuri and I are just friends. Nothing is happening to us. I don't even like her romantically. It was just me who is so stupid for being too ambitious that I'm helping someone but it's helping me also be worse. It was just me and my stupidity. I didn't realize it all until you told me. I'm glad you did otherwise I will be completely lost and forget about you. Please Yoongie, let's fix this and don't breakup." Seohyun cried in her shoulder, not letting go of her.

 

Yoona almost give in if it wasn't for Nicole's words that crosses her mind again. She let her cry for a couple of minutes and when she loosened up, she slowly let go and she help her wipe her tears. "Get yourself together. That's all I'm asking for." She whispers softly and turned her body around.

 

Seohyun's arms finds its way to her waist again. "Andwae. Andwae. Andwae." But this time, she's back hugging her. "I'm not letting you go. I'm not, Im Yoona."

 

Yoona didn't give her minutes anymore as she tried to get rid of those arms around her. It was hard but she was able to free herself and walk away from her.

 

Seohyun loses her balance and dropped on the floor, sitting, as she cries her eyes out even more while Yoona's behind the door, silently crying also.

 

 

***

 

 

Yoona did not expect that she will be standing in front of the Seo's household, with her parents and little brother. She tried to skip what her father said earlier but she couldn't escape and here she is, feeling anxious, knowing she will see Seohyun again. The day ended bad but her night will somehow end the same thing.

 

"Oh there you go guys." Mr. Seo greeted the Im family the moment she saw them making there way to their barbecue table at their backyard.

 

Upon hearing her father's greetings to someone, Seohyun turned and was ready to pay respect when she realized who is coming then her eyes just automatically landed on Yoona. She quickly turned to face the grilling. 'Aish, did appa call them?' She hated his father for doing it. She was supposed to tell Yoona earlier in school but since she really was occupied by what happened last night, she decided to not invite her and her family for dinner. She literally glared at her father who smile victoriously. She rolled her eyes and did not mind paying respect even for Yoona's parents.

 

"Seohyun? It's you, right?" Mr. Im asks softly to catch the attention of the youngster.

 

Doesn't have a choice, Seohyun turned and she bowed twice for Mrs. Im also. "Good evening, Auntie, Uncle."

 

Yoona who just took her seat silently with her brother was smack by her father on her head. "Ouch! What was that?!" She literally cried.

 

"Go there and help your girlfriend." Mr. Im said in demand.

 

"Aish." Getting up, Yoona quickly went to help Seohyun. She took the extra tongs and helped her with the grilling. She can't help and took a glance to see her face and the latter also did. Both of them looked away, while they're both feeling that heartache again.

 

Seohyun had enough of crying the entire day and just want to do as what Yoona told her. Even though it hurts that she's hurting and that she can't be forgiven right away, she understands the situation and wouldn't cause a scene. Standing side by side with her without saying a word is enough for her. She wouldn't dare to let their parents worry on them, not a chance.

 

Yoona wanted to speak to ask if she's fine now but she couldn't ask her. Either way, she looked okay to her eyes at the moment.

 

"Look at them, they looked so good for each other, aren't they?" Mr. Im said as he took a sip of water while watching in joy.

 

"Of course. They're the children of good-looking parents." Mr. Seo added. He can't help and felt concerned inside because the two are not talking which confirms his suspicion.

 

"Aren't they odd? They're not talking." Mrs. Im blurted what in Mr. Seo's head which made the two-gentleman looked at her.

 

"It's so hard to talk when the smoke is all over your face, Omma!" Yoona fake a chuckle to kill the break the awkward moment right away. "Right, Hyun?" she nudges the younger one and smile at her.

 

"Y-Yeah. It is. Don't worry about us, Auntie." Seohyun took a look on Yoona's mother and smile reassuringly. "Also, we have to make sure these are well cooked." she added and smile back to the deer.

 

"Right." Yoona put the tongs down and brushed off Seohyun's hair that was covering her eyes. Their eyes meet and her heart painfully skipped a beat. She forces a smile and pinch her cheeks so it wouldn't be weird for their parents anymore. She returned to the meat while Seohyun can't take her eyes off of her.

 

Apparently, Seohyun's heart is fluttering that she's speechless. She took that moment at heart despite their situation and happily finished the grilling with her.

 

---

 

"So, what do you plan to take if you pass the exam, Yoong?" Mr. Seo asks the quiet deer casually and her father's eyes lit as he looks at his daughter.

 

Yoona smiled back and also to Seohyun who pays attention. "I'm planning to take... law too." she looked down to her food immediately after sharing it. She had been thinking it but she plans to take it in Harvard instead of the same school as Seohyun.

 

"Omo, so you are going to be like Seohyun?" Mr. Im proudly shares his smile to the mentioned girl, who shyly smiled back to his wife as well.

 

'Law. Why would she? I thought she loves theater and arts?' Seohyun thought at the back of her head.

 

"See how you're influencing her, Hyun." Mrs. Im said feeling proud as well. "You guys are really a match. One day, I will see you guys in a gown."

 

"Wait, that's too fast." Mr. Im chuckled. "Take it easy."

 

"Right. They still have a bright future ahead. But I'm with you, Youngi-ah. I can't imagine our daughters not wearing if they're not meant for each other." Mr. Seo added as he gladly supportive such idea. "And one day, I can see them in one roof doing stuffs like... Hahahaha" They end up laughing.

 

Yoona just sighs audibly as she glances to Seohyun across the table. She noticed her cheeks are blushing and she find it adorable. It makes her heart smile a little. She realizes, it's really going to take a long time before she'll completely moved on, since their parents are good friends. There will always be another time they'll have dinner together.

 

--

 

After bidding farewell with the Seos, Yoona has to returned because she forgot to bring her phone. She left it on top of the table. "Why aren't you still... here?" But it's not only her phone that she saw, Seohyun is still in her seat, alone and is looking to nowhere.

 

"Uh, you're still here?" Seohyun get up as she snapped out of reality.

 

"I left my phone." Yoona pointed to it and picked it up. "It's... cold here. You should return inside." She suggested.

 

"I'll... have some fresh air first." Seohyun softly replied. "Maybe later." 'She always cares. Why???' She thought at the same time because it hurts to see how she cares for her still when she's the one who hurt her. It's annoying her. But she couldn't stare with her anymore, feeling ashamed of herself again.

 

"Okay." Yoona sighs as she mentally scolded herself for doing that. She's supposed to be cold but after that dinner, something changes unconsciously. She her back but stopped when she heard her voice again.

 

"One day, I hope to hear from you, that you forgive me." Seohyun said bitterly. "But I won't stop to apologize until you find that in your heart."

 

Yoona heavily sighs as she turns to face her again. "How many times have I heard that from you? If you're really sorry then don't do the same thing again. It's annoying. It's you who should find that in your heart. The truth about apologizing if you want to be forgiven." she mock her to let her know.

 

"I'm crazy, I know. Thank you, for telling me that and I admit that. I will not apologize from now on." Seohyun sighs as she pauses to look at Yoona in the eyes. "I'm not really for you, indeed. We're not meant for each other." she painfully added.

 

Yoona clinch on her fists as she gritted her teeth. "Reflect on what the mistake, you've been doing. Then maybe you can fix yourself also."

 

"Can you just stay? Help me fix this? Help me fix us? I think breaking up with you will only worsen this. I need your help, Yoona." Seohyun thought she had enough of her tears but it still drops as her chest tightens and she chokes on her own saliva. It's amazing that she's telling this to Yoona but she wants her to know also what she feels. "I don't know where to begin. I don't know how to do this. I just feel like suffocating with all that I've done... that I think I have no right to be even alive. Last night, I thought my world ended and thought pain will also end but when I woke up, it feels like hell and I have no way out. Worse, it's hard to show what you're feeling inside in front of people that cares for you."

 

Yoona is speechless. She never thought she will say those words and hurts to see how it affected her. She her back and was ready to walk away when something tells her to stay with her. She debates with herself quietly and a few minutes later, she turns to face her again, only to see her getting up and is slowly walking pass at her. She exhaled deeply and quickly stopped her by taking her hand and pull her for a hug. "Please don't feel like you're not worth of living. No one is." she whispers comforting words. She hated it when she always knows how to melt her.

 

"Stay." Seohyun whispers back as she sobs in her shoulder, tightening her arms around her. "Stay please."

 

"I will." Yoona decided breaking up with her will be non-sense. They're still young and will encounter more of it. She will help her grow just like how she's doing to her with their relationship.

 

After a couple of minutes, she pulled back slowly and wipe away her tears gently with her two thumbs. "Don't cry anymore please." She begs her. "It hurts to see them."

 

"You too." Seohyun whispers back, wiping of the deer's tears a