I continued walking away from her, trying to ignore her desperate pleas. “Hyejin, I asked for the instagram of one of your close friends, you’re asking for me to go back to my old school, track down the girl and get her instagram.

She nodded, a lopsided grin on her face. “Exactly, then we’ll be equal”.

Giving her a few more seconds of my death glare I turned away and continued to walk in the other direction. She grabbed my hand, shaking it in the air like it was a pair of maracas.

"Come on Byulie! I’ll help you get with Yongsun.” I stopped in my tracks. No Byul, that’s stupid. Getting her instagram so that Hyejin can help you get with your crush? She probably doesn’t even like you back. Despite my subconscious trying to convince me that this was a really stupid idea that would probably end up with me being really sad, I accepted.

"Fine. Don’t ask me for any more favours after this.” Hyejin launched herself onto me, wrapping her arms around me. “Thank you Byul!! I love you!”

I pushed her off of me. “Now leave me alone you gay nerd.”

~

"Hi, do you know Seulgi?” A girl stopped to look at me for a second. With a Thrasher sweater and ripped jeans, I could tell that she was from SM. Giving me a slight nod, she spoke with a snobby tone. “Why?”

"Well my friend wants her instagram, can you give me her @?” A devious smile made a way onto her face. “Is it a guy..?” I shook my head, giving her a sheepish grin.

"Okay well it’s woah_seulgi, you might wanna DM who you are first, it’s a private account.” I nodded excitedly, “Thank you!”

Whoa_Seulgi

burntbyul - Hey it's Byul from JYP 

Whoa_Seulgi - Oh hey what's up

burntbyul - Suicide rates.

burntbyul - lol jkjk pls accept me and my friend's follow request

Whoa_Seugli - kk

Hwa.sa

burntbyul - @Whoa_Seulgi

Hwa.sa - What is that

burntbyul - Her @ like you asked for

Hwa.sa - OMG REALLY

Hwa.sa - TY BYULIE ILYSM

I looked up from my phone, content. It was always nice to do things for people. One of the bad habits I have is leaving people on read. A long time ago my crush always left me on read when she didn't want to respond. Me being the naive person I was, would text everyone back even though they sent me the dryest texts.

Long story short she led me on and for a while I didn't have the energy to respond to people anymore. Leaving people on read felt empowering. Maybe I'm just really insecure and have really bad coping mechanisms, but it's working out.

Of course, this method had it's cons. People would think that I didn't want to talk to them because I sent such dry texts and left them on read so much. Which meant that less and less people started conversations with me. Empowerment for the price of loneliness. 

But before I could continue talking about how I'm dead inside, multiple texrts from both Seulgi and Hyejin spammed my phone. 'Oh my god Byulie I think I'm in love with this girl. She's so ing cute.' I shook my head, so the cycle of Hyejin having a crush started all over again.

First, she would flirt with them. Usually they would reject her, but after her being depressed for a few weeks they would give in and give her a chance so that she wouldn't be so sad. After that comes the clingy stage. Hyejin had a bad habit of obsessing over girls she likes, by making all her posts about her and posting endless stories about how cute or how much she likes them. The end of this cycle would be her getting tired of said girl and moving onto another one.

Sometimes she would even obsess over multiple girls at once. Which was probably right now. Her current targets were Seulgi, a girl named Chaeyoung, and another random girl from Austrailia.

Over the next few days I suffered from Hyejin ranting to me endlessly about Seulgi and how cute she was. Annoying. Although, I also ranted to her about how cute Yongsun was, so I guess we're equally whipped for our crushes.

There was one problem. Yongsun was Bi, fortunately, but Seulgi was straight as a pole that could not be bent. No matter how much Hyejin flirted and begged, Seulgi would only respond with 'LOL' or 'ty!'. The result of this would be Hyejin whining for hours on end to me over text and call.

'Moonbyul I need to tell you something', the notification read. It made me worried. Whenever Hyejin used my full name it was usually to tell me bad news. 'What is it", I texted back.

She sent me a screenshot. Slowly I could feel my heart break into a hundred little pieces, with that one text message that Yongsun sent.

'It's not okay Hyejin, I don't return the feelings to her. Yeah I might have been expected to like her back but I don't. I'm not gonna lead her on because that's a ty thing to do so if she does confess then I'll have to tell her the truth.'

My phone hit the wall with a dull thud, as a result of me whipping my phone across the room as hard as I could. I stuffed my face into the pillow and screamed angrily. "Stupid stupid stupid!" How could I let myself get my hopes up? She would never like me.

I spent the rest of my day procrastinating and binging netflix shows. I was a mess. 

"No Kevin don't get divorced with Holt please you guys are my ing dads!" Sobbing hysterically while choking the life out of my shiba plushie. Who needs Yongsun when you have fictional characters am I right?

11:11 pm. "I wish that Yongsun would like me back.." I whispered into the air, hearing the cool winter wind blow softly on my hello kltty curtains. It was late and I had school tomorrow. Which also meant that I would see Yongsun..

I shook my head. It's fine. I was used to avoiding people anyways. I had experience with ghosting people after they confessed. 

"Wow I am such a ty person", I mumbled to myself. Squeezing my eyes shut, I could feel tears leaking out the corner of my eyes. I couldn't help but giggle at my patheticness and what I've become. "What happened Moonbyul..." I trailed off, drifting off to sleep.

~

 "Hey Byul!"

Yongsun. I froze up in the middle of the hallway, blankly staring at her. This wasn't supposed to happen. I went in the opposite direction of her locker so that I wouldn't have to see her. I turned around and walked away. Because that's what I did with all of my problems right? Run away.

"Byulie, are you avoiding Yong?" Hyejin suddenly appeared in front of me, one arm leaning on a locker. "Well no Sherlock."

She sighed, giving me a sad smile. "I get it Byul, but you can't just avoid her forever." I strolled past her, "Watch me."

I arrived in my French class, sitting down in a chair and putting my head down onto the desk. "You okay there Moonbyul?" I looked up to see Eric Nam with a smug smile on his face looking down at me. Eric was my childhood friend all the way back from grade 1, we've been best bros. We got along well because he was basically the guy version of me.

Although I wouldn't admit it, he was one of the most attractive guys in our school, with his innocent facial features and nice brown locks. He looked like a cute little boy, but everyone knew that he was a boy. 

Being the boy and girl that we were, we dated early in the year and our breakup ended up damaging our friendship. We always have our little fights, but in the end I would apologize and he would forgive me because he was a er for me. 

"Crush problems", I grumbled, putting my head back down. He sat next to me, patting my back. "It's ok, you have me." 

I giggled, not paying attention to anything the french teacher was talking about this time. No one actually took french seriously. The teachers gave us work sheets and you would have to beg the French immersion people to give you the answers. Lucky for me, Eric was a French immersion and he gave me all the answers I wanted. My french grades were higher than ever.

"Hey Moonbyul, I was wondering, wanna go to the library sometime together-"

"Eric! Arretez de parler s'il vous plait." He gave the teacher a cheeky smile and continued his conversation with me. "Seriously Byul, we'd make a hot couple. And plus, you're practically my girl friend-"

"Look Eric, I know that me and you dating wouldn't be bad, but I'm stuck over a girl right now. Maybe another time." He gave me a confused look. "How could she be that important."

"I like her a lot Eric. Probably more than I like myself."