CHAPTER 3: CHOICE

SAVE ME

“Save me”my voice suddenly went frail as I read. My knees weakened and it met the ground shortly after. I tried helping myself up, only to see that I’m shaking involuntarily. Darkness started looming and tears started to build up.

Breathing became harder, as if someone’s the air out of me. I began counting from one to ten to help me calm down. But it’s not helping.

“Jia” I heard a faint voice, not like mom’s voice earlier this morning, but a voice more distant. I conjured all of my strength and tried to calm myself down.

“Hey…” I felt a familiar hand at my nape. I looked up and saw RM oppa’s face. I smiled a bit as I saw him. Amongst all the other guys, he’s always the one who resolves the turmoil—but it still doesn’t change the fact that he wasn’t responding to my messages.

“I hate you guys” I said in a small voice. He chuckled as he helped me up.

“Yet here you are” I crossed my arms at his comment. He smiled showing off his dimple. If Jung Kook hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend, I’d go to RM oppa.

“Where are the others? Where’s Taehyung? How come you don’t respond to me at all?”

“woah woah woah, one question at a time okay? Let’s go meet up with the others first” he wrapped his left arm around my shoulder as we walked. The small restaurant that Jung Kook’s family owns is just right around the corner. As we’re nearing the restaurant, my heart beat went crazy.

“You okay there champ?” RM oppa asked. I just nodded and RM oppa removed his arm on me. I opened the door, almost too quietly that the servers didn’t even heard me.

“Jung Kook’s dad isn’t around, let’s go meet the other at the back” RM oppa whispered to me and again, I just nodded. We walked through the kitchen before being able to access the back side.

“I’m nervous” I said as I looked at RM oppa. He smiled softly as he lead the way.

“There’s no backing out now—you told Taehyung that Jung Kook can come” Rm said nonchalantly. I closed my eyes and held the hem at the back of RM oppa’s uniform. I don’t know what to feel and its nerve wrecking. I’m glad but I’m scared because I don’t know if they actually want to see me again.

“You worm!” before I can open my eyes again, I heard Taehyung’s voice. He ruffled my hair, and it wasn’t long before the other guys joined him. My heart suddenly felt heavy and I can’t fight the tears.

“I’m sorry” Ho Seok Oppa said as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m Sorry” Yoon Gi Oppa followed and wrapped his arms around me and Ho Seok Oppa’s

“I’m SoRRi” Jin Oppa said as he engulfed the 3 of us in a bigger embrace.

“I’m Sorry Champ” RM Oppa as he did the same—and I’m starting to get suffocated cause they’re all squeezing me so tight and they’re all so sweaty.

“I missed you, I’m an , I’m sorry—but you still look like an earthworm, love” this time it was Taehyung.

“Come here!” I said as I signaled him to join our bear hug, and he happily obliged. Now there was only one person left.

“Well what are you waiting for?” Ho Seok Oppa asked Jung Kook, though his voice was little muffled. Jung Kook, scratched the nape of his neck.

“I—I’m giving you guys free food. Get off my—” Jung Kook stopped himself from saying ‘girlfriend’ cause we both know that things have ended between the two of us.

“Gay!” Yoon Gi basically shouted at my right ear. Jung Kook sighed and spoke once again

“I’m sorry… Jia—Now get off her, you’re squeezing the life outta her!” The guys peeled themselves off of me and settled themselves in the stools. I glanced up at Jung Kook and gave him a timid smile—after all, he said so himself, he’d be giving us free food.

We didn’t really speak about the reasons why they acted like s and why they’re not responding to my messages or answer my calls—instead they made me do all the talking. Every time I get the chance to ask, they’re dodging it almost completely as if they actually had prepared for my arrival.

“Now tell me why you guys are acting like s and ignoring me” I said with my arms crossed. They all tried to dodge my gaze. Yoon Gi and Ho Seok started cleaning up the mess. I focused my gaze to Taehyung, he just smiled goofily like it was just some prank the guys and him pulled. I rolled my eyes at him ignoring him completely and redirected my gaze to Jin Oppa instead.

“Well? Is this some kind of prank? You guys better tell me right now.” Jin Oppa looked down instead. Oh wow… they’re really not going to tell me. RM Oppa’s not yet back, but I plan to grill him too. Which only leaves me with the person who I don’t really want to talk to.

“Well?” I asked. Jung Kook sighed in defeat and nudged Taehyung and and Jin. He scratched the nape of his neck refusing to look at me.

“while you’re gone, the guys started to date—and the people they’re dating aren’t really—how do I put it nicely” Jungkook said without even looking at me. Unbelievable—these dorks are dating people?? Who would even date them?—Oh wait, half of the population in Bangtan High are throwing themselves at them. But more importantly, Jung Kook made it sound like I’ve been away for too long.

“Seriously? I haven’t been away that long. You guys better sharpen your lying skills, cause I ain’t buying it.” I said. Then my ring tone echoed.

“, my mom’s calling—did anyone of you told her that I’d be coming here?” we exchanged glances. Another call was placed, and this time if I don’t answer this, I will never be able to come down here and see the guys, nor will they ever be able to see me again.

“I need to answer this, no one breathes!” All of them went dreadfully quiet.

“Hello mom.” I said in a quiet tone—pretending that I was still at class.

“You forgot your breakfast today—” she said, she was somehow rattled. Something must have happened for her to sound like that.

“I actually had ramen earlier—with someone, who’s also late” I said as a matter of fact. I heard my mom sigh at the other line.

“Who?” she asked.

“Park Jimin.”

“Oh… what time does your class end? I’m picking you up”—unbelievable, she could’ve offered me a ride earlier and I could’ve made it to school earlier. And now she wants to pick me up?

“Mom, you don’t have to—J-Jimin’s taking me home, bye!” and with that I hung up on her. I haven’t noticed that the guys were all back and looking at me with confusion painted on their faces.

“It’s only the first day of class and you’re already unto someone? Sweet baby Jisas” Taehyung commented

“Should I be jealous?” – Jung Kook

“Is he taller than me?” – Yoon Gi

“I bet Park Jimin doesn’t exist at all” – Ho Seok

“Hey champ who’s this kid? Is he any better?” – RM

“You’re already starting your little harem over there? I’m hurt” Jin

I slammed my hand on the table and they all laughed their asses out.

“Well since you guys aren’t giving me the attention I need, I decided to look for it—happy now” I asked agitatedly.

“hey, we’re just messing with you. You know that, c’mere.” Taehyung said as he drapped his arms over me.

“but do know that if he ends up hurting my only best friend, he’d be sorry cause you’re gonna beat him up so bad, that Jung Kook’s hospitalization would be a joke” I winced as I rested in his shoulder. I actually didn’t beat Jung Kook—though the night after our break up, he was hospitalized due to some sort of ‘accident’

“You’re well aware that I’m right here.” Jung Kook said

“And you’re also well aware that we’re still accepting you as friend cause you give us free food?” Ho Seok commented. Jung Kook made a face and we all laughed in unison.

It was 3 pm in the afternoon when we finally wrapped up. Jung Kook volunteered to walk me back to the station leaving the cleaning to the other guys. He looks the same, from his hair down to his lips, it looks the same. But the familiarity of it died the night when we called it off.

“Here’s your stop” he said to me. I gave him a brief smile. The bus hasn’t arrived yet so we sat at the pavement—since there were no seats available for the two of us.

“So… the guys are dating huh” I said, trying to break the awkward bubble. He nodded twice before looking at me. And as he did, his gaze melted on mine.

“I’m glad that you came down” he said as he broke off our gaze.

“I’m glad that I did… I- I really missed you guys” He sighed and looked back at me. He’s still wearing the same earring I gave him when he got his ears pierced.

“We were happy… why did we ever had to break up?” He said in soft voice. He reached for my hand and placed small kisses on my knuckles—like he used to. I covered his hand with my other hand to stop him from what he was doing. Because the night that we decided to end things, I knew he made his choice—and that choice wasn’t me.

“we were happy… I get that, but we both know that you’re happier with Taehyung. And we both know as well that I’d be the happiest knowing that you and my best friend would be happy” He held my hand tighter as he let out another sigh.

“I thought I’d be able to set things straight with you. I really love you Jia, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved like this—that I thought I’d be able to… somehow forget what I felt for him” he offered me a smile, but a traitorous tear escaped his right eye.

“Hey… if anyone sees us, they’d think that we’re having a part 2 of our break up.” He chuckled a bit and the tears started to dissolve.

“Your bus is almost here, let me help you up” Jung Kook said. He went up first before offering his hand. I was about to reach for his hand when another wave of nausea hit me. I shook it off right away knowing that the bus is approaching. I grabbed his hand and helped myself up quickly.

“I’ll visit again soon… I do hope that things are better for you when I come back” I said as I started walking towards the bus. He just smiled there idly as he watched me walking away from him. After all this time… I thought I’ve made myself immune to the pain, though at this moment that pain is searing at my very core.

I thought that after some time, I won’t get hurt. But the fact that he’s always just standing there, smiling—as I was walking away still pains me. Just once… I prayed that he’d run after me and stop me from leaving—and choose me.

I stopped walking and called out his name. “Jung Kook” I said with tears b out my eyes—and yet he still stood still.

“I love him too… but not as much as I love you” I counted to ten….

One

Two

Three

Four – he blinked

Five

Six

Seven – he blinked again, and the bus driver started calling the remaining passengers.

Eight

Nine – choose me…

Ten – he smiled at me. I smiled back like the total idiot that I am—and everything halted