The four eats their food in silent. Sneak in some conversation once it was too awkward. But mainly it was engaged by Heechul and Siwon , leaving Kyuhyun to stare at Yesung intensely.

He lost his appetite. Yesung playing with his food without even actually taking a bite out of it. Only once he notice Heechul’s glare he shove half spoon of the meal.

“You still feeling dizzy?” said Heechul, poking the younger softly.

Yesung only nod. He hates how he been placed next to Siwon even with the table was big enough for him to avoid it from happening.

‘Something not right in this picture.’ thought Kyuhyun. Sitting across Yesung had him full focusing on the smaller.

On the other side, Siwon was feeling comfortable having seated next to Yesung.

‘Changmin was right. He does look a lot like Jongwoon hyung. So small and cute..’ thought him as he steal a glance at the smaller.

After the dinner, Heechul lead them to the living room. Settle with an after meal drink, Heechul ask Siwon to begin his word.

“It’s about Changmin. I know that guy since I was a kid. Together with him were.. my ex. Urgh I don’t know where to start… it’s all happening because of my mistake..” said Siwon, rubbing his face in frustration.

“Ex? Okay what do you mean by it was your fault?” said Heechul.

“Please listen to this until the end. What I did was stupid but I have my own reason. Don’t judge me. Promise me,guys.” said Siwon, waiting for their agreement.

“Okay we promise, please continue.”

“Thanks. So 10 years ago, when I was still living in Cheonan, I had a boyfriend who I love dearly. Our family were so close to each other that we actually got blessing from our parent. His parent trust him to me but I betray that. Because of Changmin. That guy…” Siwon clench his fist hard, reminded by the stupid thing he had done years ago.

“Why would he be the cause of it? Who is he actually?” said Kyuhyun, feeling oddly knew where the story going.

“We keep our relationship in secret from the public. On my bo-- ex request. He was afraid of the stereotypical society. Afraid of humiliating his family. We actually didn’t mind any of that but of course stupid me trusting Changmin’s word. He had move tot he neighbourhood and became friend with us. But the more we got close to each other, the further I’ve became with my ex. So, with a plan in my mind, I thought I could convince Changmin to accept us as a thing and goes with the life as usual. He did not take it well. He threat me to break up with my boyfriend so I can become normal or anything bullsh*t he told me of. So I did. But the thing is… what we did to my bo-- ex is unacceptable… we… we almost him.. I mean Changmind does. I was too coward to protect him and letting that psycho do what he want. Fortunately, someone saw us and avoid Changmin from continue his dirty deed.”

Siwon’s word got Kyuhyun gasped silently to himself. It was awfully close to what he knows that happen to Yesung years ago. He glance at the smaller and true to his thought, Yesung was fidgeting uncomfortably in his seat. He knows how the said ex in Siwon’s story match Yesung past. He sneakily sling his arm on the smaller shoulder, channeling some comfort and the smaller gladly accept it.

It was different reaction on Heechul. The older had no idea who was the said ex. Until he ask Siwon to continue.

“So the thing is. I don’t know what happen to my ex afterward. Alli knwo was he move few days after the incident happen. I had lie to my parent about our break up. Of course I did receive some punishment from them since i was the one who engaging the relationship in the first hand. But that was nothing. After that. I heard that… Changmin and his family move too. I thought it was because of the guilt or he got busted by his mom but it wasn’t the case at all. His mom commit suicide.”

“The what?! So how… I mean. Of gosh I’m so confuse.” Said Heechul in defeat.

“She’s a single mother, a divorcee. People thought it was because of the stress in workplace and the household. After that I heard nothing from him. We assume they were send back to their dad. And now, after 10 years he show up again in the same university as we did. The reason why I told the backstory of us is because… Changmin who I know was a homophobe are now going crazy for Yesung hyung who he thought was my ex… I don’t know how he even change because heck. 10 years wasn’t a short time to change someone. He even become more psycho than before after he broke my relationship.”

“So this all happen because he now become just like us(gay) and going after Yesung? I thought he just a jock who having fun toying with people…” said Heechul.

“What do you mean like us?” said Kyuhyun in protest.

“You not(gay)?” said Heechul in mockery.

“I’m gay for Yesung hyung only!” said Kyuhyun, trying to cheer up the smaller but nothing happen. Only Heechul were throwing displeased look towards him.

Just only then Heechul realize that his cousin was awfully quiet. 

“Yesungie? Hey are you still feels sick?” said Heechul, pulling the younger into his arm.

“Yesung ah.” he shakes the smaller again, only then Yesung turn to him with confuse look. Heechul shakes his head, feeling headache by the younger weird behaviour.

“So you saying he will not stopping harassing Yesung from now on? What does he said else? My friend did saw you guys talking before.” said Heechul again.

“Yes. We did talk before. It’s the same thing. He said he will take Yesung hyung from us and some weird stuff. He even said he will proof that Yesung hyung is my Jongwoon. He does become more crazier after all this year.”

“Wait… come again…” said Heechul, thinking he had misheard the younger.

“emm? He will take Yesung hyung?” said Siwon in confusion.

“No. The name. Your ex name. Who that bastard trying to proof?”

“Oh Jongwoon. My ex name. He thought Yesung hyung is Jongwoon from our childhood.I know he is crazy so please don’t mind him. I just didn’t want him to force the idea of proving someone that not Jongwoon. Of course I want to meet him too but this--”

‘Blam’

The sound of banged table got him startled.

“What is your ex surname.” said Heechul, not looking anywhere other than the smaller who begin to shudder from the frightening sound.

“K..Kim. Kim Jongwoon… wait why are you mad, hyung?” Siwon ask. The older sudden snaps got him shivering. He swear he can see some black mist coming from the fuming older.

He finally snap for real. Heechul look at Siwon with a smiles. “No. I’m not mad. So what else does he said? It’s seem like you have more to say just now?”

The older sudden change had Kyuhyun scowling near Yesung, hugging the older in frighten. “Yesungie… we’re dead after this…” whisper him as Heechul keep talking to Siwon.

“Why we gonna die…?” said Yesung softly in Kyuhyun’s hug. The younger only shushed him down to listen more to the conversation.

“So you’re saying there’s another one who had the same intention as Changmin? And he told you himself?”

“I don’t think he intended to do that. He seems to slip out at the moment because after I ask him again, he become nervous and avoiding the question…” said Siwon.

“Huh… why is it hard to live your life, Yesungie… I just want you to change…” mutter Heechul softly.

“It’s late. You should go home Siwon ah. Kyuhyun, you stay. I need to talk to you.” said Heechul, Kyuhyun just nod as an answer.

“He stay?” said Siwon, clearly shown a jealousy expression on his face.

“Yeah. Why?” said Heechul genuinely clueless for the younger question.

“Oh nothing. I’ll go first. See you guys tomorrow.” said Siwon, looking dejected as Yesung didn’t even turn to him until he was leaving the house.

As soon as the guest were out of their sight, Heechul turn to both Kyuhyun and Yesung with unquestionable face.

“Wha--what hyung?” said Kyuhyun nervously.

“You two had a lot questions to be answer. First thing first, Kyuhyun. You seems to know Siwon’s story. You did tell me you know something about Yesung past but that day you end up falling asleep and we forget to discuss. And you Jongwoon. You need to explain so many thing tonight. I won’t let you go until I know the truth!”

“I told you we gonna be dead by midnight….” whisper Kyuhyun, joined by a nod from Yesung.

.
.
.

“Urgh… why..”

Both kyuhyun and Yesung were avoiding the older looks. Knowing their wrong in hiding the truth.

“Why you didn’t tell me.. Jongwoon ah… you don’t know how long I’ve been trying to find what’s went wrong with you years ago… why don’t you reach out to us? Does imo doesn’t love you? Does your dad ever punish you just because you were a victim? Don’t you know how serious this is?”

Yesung hang his head low. Feeling massively guilty for the older and for his parent.

“And Kyuhyun. You know this long enough for us to avoid thing from happening. I thought you care about Yesung.” said Heechul, there’s sorrow in the older look, fishing out more guilty feelings from both of them.

“I’m sorry… I thought I can handle this alone…” Yesung speak too soft, try to hind the tears from falling.

“You thought hah. You not even trying. Here I am, years thinking what’s wrong with you. What’s make you change drastically. I know you never care about me but please think about yourself. Are you that suicidal?”

The older words hit him hard. Unable to control his feeling, he try to walk towards his room. Emphasize try as Heechul grab his arm and pull him into his seat again.

“We’re not finish yet. Kyuhyun, I don’t care what time now. Go home.”

“But hyung! Yesung hyung has his reason!”

“Kyuhyun! Go! Before I drag you out!” shouts Heechul in anger.

Kyuhyun glance once at Yesung before unwillingly leave the house. As he wear his helmet, he glance once again at the house and pray for Yesung.

‘Please be okay, Yesungie…’

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.

The two sat silently inside Yesung’s room. Heechul staring out into the night from the open window. Mind were chaotic from Yesung’s and Siwon’s story.

The younger were hugging his knees, back were resting at the bedhead. Crying softly with eyes focusing to nothing, sight were blurred by tears. He had been crying for hours now. And it’s been hours too since they last talked to each other.

Nothing. No disturbance other than the soft sobbing. No voices, only the cricket from the outside world accompany them. No thought. Minds were full of question even with the answer were already there.

“Am I that untrustworthy?” whisper Heechul into the night, still focusing on the dark sky.

“Am I that bad to you?” no answer. More sobbing escape from the younger lips.

Heechul get up from the numbing sitting position. Closing the window and walk towards the bed.

“Sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” said Heechul.

Only then Yesung realize the older had been crying. Eyes were red but compare to him, he himself was much worst than the older.

“Goodnight.” and so the older left him alone to cry more into the night, cursing himself for unintentionally hurts the older from trying to take everything by himself.

“Good..night.. Heebongie…” whisper him as he letting the darkness take over his sight, tired from every burden he had carried that still seems weighing his heart.

A/N: slight angst lol. Poor Heechul. He felt betrayed by his yeye.