Chapter 1:

Pitch black, the world was always in dark colours in my eyes. My life felt like an endless dark tunnel leading to nowhere. Time passes but my heart is dark. I felt stuck in the dark. As time goes by, I was getting bored.

I had always wondered what love was. The feeling where people have expressed to bring colour into your life. I had always wondered how that feeling felt like. Would it colour my dark skies and stop the rain from pouring endlessly and cover it with a rainbow instead?

Love was subjective, just like beauty. It all depends on the eyes of the beholder. I never had encountered such feeling but I had heard stories about love from people that have had their fair share of relationships. Listening to such interesting stories, I couldn’t help but feel curious. Those stories fuelled my interest in love. Love was something I wanted to feel, something I would like to cherish.

How amazing would it be to love like it was destiny? To have meet under weird circumstances. To have happenings worth writing in a book. I had always been known to be feeling-less or maybe heartless. However, I find myself to be a secret romantic. Instead of not having emotions, I had too many of them. Too much and too strong that I didn’t know how to embrace them. I thought time would change me. That in time I would be able to express my feelings like others do. I guess the time truly haven’t come. My emotions are just a mess, all jumbled up.

One fine day, the day I have hoped would come finally did. A fate-like love. A love that made my heart beat erratically. A love that made me feel alive. It was a rainy day when I first saw her. I was busy reading a book near the window at a nearby café when suddenly my eyes met hers. A young brown-haired girl with hazel eyes.

“Can I take this away miss?” Her hazel eyes bore into mine like no one ever did. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest the moment her eyes looked into mine. The sound of the cup falling on the ground pulled me back to reality. I just gave a simple nod to her before I hid my face behind my book, covering soon to be pink cheeks from her view. She just took away the plate from my table before resuming her work.

Days went by and I never failed to step into the café everyday just to see the beautiful young lady. I would always save up in school just to get myself a cup of tea and a slice of cake from the café. Sometimes if I was lucky, she would be the one serving me. Without fail, she would reward me with her beautiful smile. It didn’t take a fool to know that I was head over heels for the young latter.

It was all going by smoothly until suddenly she stopped working there. It was only then that I realised that I knew nothing about the girl except for her face. With a heavy heart and a messy mind, I brought myself home. My mood went down tremendously that my parents couldn’t help notice. It was stupid to say that it was because I forgot to ask the lady of my dreams her number and now, she’s gone. I wouldn’t want to be the loser of the century so I lied and said that I was just tired from school. Thankfully both of my parents brought it and never brought up the topic again.

My days were never the same again. There was nothing to look forward to by the end of the day. There were no smiles to greet me as I entered the café. There was no one to make me feel alive and to paint my life in her colours. My life just flowed that way. I lived only because I had to. Living was only breathing and I wasn’t even doing that well with my asthma. I groaned as my body dropped to the bed. I hated myself for being such a fool. They say love makes you a fool but I guess I’m a fool without love.