Jinyoung felt his heart as it starts to pound upon hearing the ringing from the other line. 

He doesn't know why exactly he came up with the idea of calling him. He should've just packed his bags and left a note that will ought to tell Jackson that they're done. The moment that he found out that his boyfriend for five long years was cheating on him with some guy, he should've decided right there and then to end their relationship and just leave. 

Jinyoung knows himself as not being a huge fan of confrontations and dramatic s. In fact, he always opted to dodge everything that might complicate things for him and all the more, just hurt him. Well, as far as he's concerned, no one enjoys getting hurt. Now Jinyoung, for one, doesn't want that. When he feel things are going downhill and is bound to break him, he'll choose to walk away.

Just like now.

"He's with the guy again." 

Those were Bambam's words when they met and talked over a cup of coffee. Bambam is his bestfriend since college, after his parents took responsibility of him when the younger's parents sent him off to Korea to study. 

It was this afternoon, when Bambam called him to meet up, just to bring him this wonderful news. Bambam has been telling him about Jackson, cheating with some guy. Bambam said he'd never seen the guy, but Jackson always gets in the guy's car after work. Bambam has a lot to say about this because he works with his boyfriend.

"Just stop turning a blind eye on this, hyung. He's cheating on you, for christ's sake!" 

It's not the first time Bambam talked him into breaking it off with Jackson. It's not because Bambam hates him cause, as a matter of fact, they're also good friends. But of course Bambam values him more, so he keeps on talking some sense into him. "You cannot stay in this relationship just because you're scared of letting go. There's still a lot of guys out there, hyung! Good and deserving guys."

Another ring snapped him back as he gripped on his phone a bit tighter. Jinyoung is waiting nervously for Jackson to pick his damn phone up. Is he still with his side guy? 

Jinyoung held his breath when he heard Jackson's low voice. "Jinyoung?"

But before he could even speak more, Jinyoung started talking. "I've put up with you and your s for five long years, Jackson. Five long years of me, adjusting to what you could only give, what I could only take. I've been patient, actually more than patient. I've been stupidly patient, that's more accurate." 

"Jin-"

"No." he interrupted Jackson. "You're not one to talk now. Just ing listen." Jinyoung inhaled a large amount of breath as he felt his eyes b with tears. He feels his heart clenching but he needs to talk. "I know that I don't deserve this because all I did was love you in all honesty, and my efforts will attest to that. I loved you truly, Jackson. But you just broke my heart. If you weren't happy, then why didn't you just leave? Why'd you have to cheat on me? If you fell out of love with me, you should've just told me. I would understand. I would, Jackson. It will hurt me, but not this much." The tears he was trying to hold back are now freely rolling down his cheeks. "Not this much."

There was a brief silence from the other line after Jinyoung's last words. Jinyoung too is trying to stop himself from becoming a crying mess. He's at the bar for goodness' sake. The last thing he wants is for people to be staring at him with pitiful eyes, only to make him realize how pathetic he looks right now.

"I'm. . . I'm sorry, Jinyoung." And right there, he heard Jackson's voice break. No, Park Jinyoung! Don't you dare melt for him again!

Jinyoung sniffed as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. "I am sorry for myself too." Gathering up all his remaining courage and right sense, Jinyoung heaved a deep breath before letting the words slip from his mouth. "I'm breaking up with you."

"No." He could hear a sense of panic in the older's voice. But no, he cannot be shaken. "Jinyoung, please don't-"

"I'll go and get my things from your place in an hour. By that time, I hope to not see you there." Jinyoung still hears how Jackson keeps on saying no but he continued. "This is all you could give me. I do not want to see you but I still have my stuffs there. Please give this one to me and give me enough time to pack my things. After this, we'll be gone from each other's lives."

"But I don't want that." Jackson is still insisting. "I want you to stay Jinyoung. Please. I can't lose you."

Jinyoung shook his head although he knows Jackson cannot see it. "You should've thought of that before you started with someone else."

The line went dead as Jinyoung ended the call. He did a good job, didn't he? If Bambam was here, Jinyoung knows his bestfriend would've congratulated him and patted his back. 

As he closed his eyes, Jinyoung felt hot tears streaming down his face. So what, if he's here crying? Jackson wouldn't know. He wouldn't know that their break up just broke his heart into a million pieces, probably making it impossible for the poor thing to function normally again. 

What matters is, he was able to do the thing which he was so much afraid of to do. Good job, Park Jinyoung. 

"One more glass of this, please!" He asked the bartender pointing to his glass of whisky. 

He still has an hour before going back to Jackson's place. Might as well spend the whole hour, drinking his sorrows away.

**********

Jinyoung might be seeing zigzag lines right now, but it's not for anyone else to know. His feet cross one another's as he take steps after steps to get to the side of the road, after getting out of the bar.

It's past 12 am already and he might've spend more than an hour drinking. But he remembers about his things which he sti