Chapter 05

Bottle after bottle the side of Taeyeon and Tiffany’s table was been filled with empty bottles of beer that apparently Tiffany was able to drink by herself. They’re were in a bar with mild jazz music playing in the background of the dimly lit room setting the cozy and light ambiance.

“Are you sure you can still drink? You’ve managed to drink a lot already.” Taeyeon frowned, looking at Tiffany who was only smiling at her with a beer bottle on her hand.

“I’m fine Taeyeon, I told you I have a very high tolerance when it comes to alcohol so don’t worry. I’m not even half way to feeling tipsy.” The eye smiling woman chuckled. “Besides, I’m guessing you have something to ask? That’s why you called for our drinking session.”

Taeyeon swallowed, “I do but it’s also because I want to get to know you more on a deeper level— you know.”

“Then go on, ask me anything” Tiffany urged, chugging the drink on her hand.

“You once told me I remind you of someone you know, you never really managed to finish that story— and then you have a daughter.. I-Is he the father of Irene the person you were talking about?” Taeyeon cautiously asked.

Tiffany laughed, “Taeyeon when I first saw you, I said you look like someone I know— that probably means I’m talking about a woman too. Irene’s father is a different person.” The smiled on Tiffany’s face darkened a little.

“O-oh, y-yeah. Right, so what does it all mean— if you’re just comfortable talking about it that is.”

“Don’t worry, I’m prepared for this.” Says Tiffany. “Before I had Irene, I was in a relationship. A long term relationship with a very special person, we’ve known each other since grade school and became the bestest friends— until you know, it happened. We fell in love along the way. We dated since senior high school— that’s how long we’ve been together. We love each other, she loved me too much actually, I was just damn lucky to have her.” She paused, smiling while looking at Taeyeon. “I think it was love at first sight.”

“You fell in love in grade school?” Taeyeon got confused.

Tiffany chuckled, “No silly, I meant I fell in love with her when I saw her completely— the kind of person she is. Not the clichè you looked at someone pretty at they catch your attention— it wasn’t like that. Ours was deeper than that.”

“Ohh”

“I didn’t have a complete family, my mom died early and I felt like she gave me her before she left. She took care of me best, understood me best and loved me best and yet— I..” Tiffany looked straight into Taeyeon’s eyes, whatever smile or twinkle her eyes possessed a while ago vanished in an instant. “I made a mistake— there was a company dinner. She told me not to go because believe it or not, she knew that my boss sort of liked me. He was actually married and has his own family— but he looked way too young for his age. She knew, she warned me not to go, she told me not to go because he might make a move— and that because she also knew I sort of was crushing on him because he was a good man. But I would never leave her for him, I swear I would never.” Tiffany frowned. “I didn’t listen to her, I followed my stubbornness thinking that it was a company dinner, what could go wrong? Right?” She scoffed bitterly, “After dinner a few of us stayed because my boss invited us to a karaoke, we drank— all of us did. Somewhere in between all those bottles I finished, I got tipsy, he was already flirting with me, making a move and I— I was no longer sane enough to stop him. Flirting led to whispering to touching and the next thing I knew— I woke up in a room with my boss.” A tear escaped Tiffany’s eyes. “We both knew it was a mistake, we both panicked and judging by the amount of missed calls and messages I missed that night— she knew something was wrong.” She stopped, she could feel it, the lump in getting bigger.

Taeyeon reached out her hand to hold Tiffany’s, “I’m sorry— it’s okay you don’t have to finish it.” She hushed, moving closer to Tiffany to engulf her in a hug.

“N-no” Tiffany’s voice cracked. “I couldn’t face her after that day— so I went home to my family and hid from her, she tried to call me and all I said was ‘I’m sorry I’m busy right now’ and then I asked for space. She kept trying to find me, asking me what’s wrong or if she had done something wrong— I couldn’t tell her, I didn’t have the heart to break hers. Until I realized something, I was supposed to have my period a week after that, but 2 weeks passed and I was late. I didn’t want to think I was pregnant so I thought of other reasons but I had a feeling— a bad feeling about it. I took a pregnancy test— and then my world shattered right then.” She stopped, she knew her tears have been pooling on Taeyeon’s shoulder but she wanted to finish her story. “T-that was when I knew, I couldn’t hide from her any longer. So I came to see her, I felt so terrible when she wrapped me in her arms because she missed me and I came to shatter her heart.

I was crying in her arms, the moment I saw her-- I was already crying— it took me a while, I couldn’t say anything so I just showed her the pregnancy test. She laughed at first, thinking it was absurd because she won’t be able to get me pregnant and when I reminded her of the dinner— that was when everything around her darkened. She stopped moving, she stopped looking at me, and she stopped holding me in her arms. She stood still like the way my heart stood still afraid of what was gonna happen next.

I started to apologize, I was still crying, I tried to hold her but all she did was move away from me. I wanted to explain, I wasn’t even able to tell her I didn’t do it on purpose, that I was just so ing stupid for getting drunk and making the biggest mistake of my life. She tried to walk away and I could only follow her, begging and pleading to forgive me but she didn’t— she couldn’t even spare a glance anymore.. not even when she told me ‘We’re done’ and she ran to her car and drove away as fast as she could.

That was the last time I saw her, it was the last time I talked to her. She just disappeared and I never heard from her again. I was so angry at myself, I felt so miserable without her that every day that passed I just sear