We spend the weekend at my grandparents' house in Busan. They live in a small house in an upper-middle-class neighborhood. Which may sound nice, but it's so boring, and it doesn't take long for me to feel unmoored and restless. As though my life is going backward instead of forward.

As though we've been fighting a war and lost.

Halmeoni feeds us constantly, and that seems to help eomma. She's not completely falling apart like I worried she might, but she's crying a lot, and that makes me cry. And all the conversations between her and Halabeoji makes me feel ineffectual.

Everything's chaos. I'm homeless. Our family's broken. My entire future is up in the air. And I'm missing Jungkook desperately. Even though he made it home from Aspan Park just fine, and we text constantly and occasionally talk on the phone when I can get away from everyone, it's not the same.

I miss him in a way I never have.

I miss his deep voice and dark sense of humor. I miss his face and the feeling of security I have when he's nearby. I miss the way he holds me, and the thrill of his fingers down my back. I miss him so much, I feel physically ill.

I don't want more food or a nap or to watch a movie. I just want to go home and see Jungkook. Only, I don't know where home is anymore. I think about how Jungkook and I spent the last year avoiding each other, and what a waste that was. We didn't know how good we had it, living so close. We were both stupid. I wish I could erase the entire year and start all over. Stop him from getting that hotel room. Stop my father from cheating and ruining the business and our credit, because now Halmeoni is saying that he's the reason eomma was having trouble with the bank before I left on the camping trip. He secretly spent all my parents' savings and credit on his affairs. Trips. Hotel rooms. Expensive restaurants. Gifts. He was living large while eomma was trying to keep the business afloat.

My grandparents say they're going to sue him for all the money they gave him to invest in the business. Halmeoni is sure the judge will grant eomma full custody if my dad fights it. The good thing is that he won't; the sad thing is that he won't. I can't decide how I feel about him, and I'm tired of trying to figure it out and weary of my life being in limbo. Something has to give.

And on Tuesday morning, it does.

Everything changes.

I'm restless and a little depressed, watching Damon lounge listlessly in a dog bed that's too small for her while Halmeoni's energetic dogs unsuccessfully try to coax  her into playing. Eomma appears in the doorway, and I think it's probably to check my hives again, because she's been monitoring me like a doctor.

But Eomma is not interested in my allergies. She has a strange look on her face. It's like happiness, but a little angrier. Happy angry. Hapry.

"Get your stuff," she says. "We're going home."

"To Dad?"

"Your father has moved in with one of his mistresses in Seoul. You and I are going home, changing the locks, and I"m going to figure out how to keep the clinic running without him."

It sounds too good to be true. "Can you do that?"

"Suzy, I can do anything I damn well want." she says, sounding unexpectedly confident and positive. "And what I want is to go back to Daegu and be Daegu's best acupuncturist while raising my future astrophysicist daughter. So that's what I'm going to do."

"Maybe sound a little surer of yourself, while you're at it," I mumble, smiling.

And for the first time since all of this chaos exploded, she smiles too. Just for a second.

"I'm not sure," she admits. "Not yet. But I have to have faith that I will be one day. We will be. We'll make a plan and take action. And that's how we start."

Her words click into place inside my head, and I realize something.

Planning can't save you from everything. Change is inevitable and uncertainty is a given. And if you plan so much that you can't function without one, life's no fun. All the calendars, journals, and lists in the world won't save you when the sky falls. And maybe, just maybe, I've been using planning less as a coping mechanism and more as an excuse to avoid anything I couldn't control.

But that doesn't mean preparation is altogether bad. Planning can be useful when you've come out the wrong side of a cave and need to figure out a new way to get back on route.

When all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and push forward.

"We'll be okay," Eomma tells me, and I believe her.

"All right," I say. "Let's go make a plan."

(∩。·ｏ·。)っ.ﾟ☆。

All I wanted was to go home and see Jungkook. So of course the Jeons would pick now of all times to leave their assistant manager in charge of Egoistic Toys while they go visit friends in the city - some old musicians who knew Jungkook's mother. I want to scream. I need to see Jungkook. It's not optional. Need. And I know we spent an entire year apart, so a couple of days should be nothing. But it's not. It's painful.

Jungkook briefly considers taking the train across the provinces to meet up with me. But we decide it's best to wait until he comes back on Thursday, when we can have an actual real, live date. Funny that we've never had one.

Meanwhile, he has tickets for a concert in Seoul - Ariana Grande Sweentener tour - and I'm insanely busy. Halmeoni is staying with us for a couple of days to help with something she'd dubbed the Purge. It's not the horror movie by that name, but it might as well be, because it's endless hours of work that involves getting rid of everything that doesn't help us move forward.

It's as bad as it sounds. And as much as I love Halmeoni, she's starting to drive me crazy. Apparently, eomma feels the same way.

"I'm going to kill her," she tells me privately.

"Please don't," I say. "Her body would be just one more thing we'd have to carry to the porch. She looks lightweight, but so did that boxes of shoes I just took downstairs."

"Right. Good thinking. We'll wait until she's outside. You trip her, and I'll push her into oncoming traffic."

"Who will cook for us?"

"Dang it, Suzy. I'm trying to plan a murder!"

"I don't think you can kill her. She has too much energy. It's unnatural."

"Imagine growing up with her," she says. "It's a wonder I'm not in jail."

By the time we're finished with the Purge, we're pretty sure Daegu is going to charge us extra for excess garbage pickup, because the curb outside the apartment is overflowing with black plastic bags - and that's not counting the stuff we gave away to a local charity. I never knew we had so much literal baggage. I even take down the old glow-in-the-dark stars from my ceiling, and Eomma helps me paint my room a new color, a sunny yellow that contrasts nicely with all my night-sky photos.

All my homemade wall calendars? I threw them in the trash. But I'm not ready to give up on blueprints altogether. Instead of obsessively bulleting every detail of my schedule for every day of the year on multiple calendars, I use star-patterned washi tape to map out a single grid on a corkboard, and pin fun paper cutouts on major holidays and planetary events.

Baby steps.

Solbin comes by on Wednesday with her mother. They bring rice cakes, homemade kimchi, and a tray filled with kimbaps. It feels like someone died, and when I point this out, eomma jokes that she should get divorced more often.

In her defense, it's really good kimbaps.

While our moms chat, Solbin tells me in detail what happened after we left Aspan Park - and everything that happened the two days before we arrived. Apparently, I missed both everything and not that much, all that the same time. It's only when she shows me some of her photos of the meteor showers that I feel a little envious. But there will be other meteor showers, other star parties. For the first time, it really hits me that if Jungkook an I hadn't stayed in the forest that second night, no one would have worried that we were missing, and we may not have set off the chain of events that led to all of this.

The important thing is, I don't have any regrets.

When Thursday arrives, Halmeoni leaves after buying massive amounts of toilet paper and laundry detergent as a housewarming gift "for good luck." I'm sad to see her go, because of all the home cooking, but also glad, because the murder fantasies were starting to get out of control. And I have better things to think about than bumping off nice old ladies.

Like Jungkook.

I'm so eager about him coming back into town that I'm shifting into anxiety mode. It's been a week since we've seen each other - the longest, weirdest week of my life - and so much has changed. What if all that alters the way we feel about each other? What if that week we spent in isolation was an anomaly? Sure, we reconnected in the wilderness, but what if we can't make it work in the real world? I worry that the delicate balance of our friendship and our more-than-friendship can't withstand the weight of everyday life.

My parents couldn't make it, and they were married.

How can two of us fare any better?

The longer I'm away from him, the more a particular thought niggles: What if we were just seduced by nature? The magic of twinkling stars. The scent of wood. Majestic mountains.

What if this is what influenced Jungkook to kiss me that first time at the top of the granite staircase? If we were here at home without the alluring rush of waterfalls in the background, would he have still made that first move?

Would I have been receptive to it?

Is there a nature-related equivalent to beer goggles?

Making out on a blanket under starry nights certainly is more romantic than groping each other on a park bench while Damon watches.

The thing is, we had a chance to make this relationship work last year, but neither of us wanted it hard enough to try. I allowed my dad to talk me into shunning Jungkook. Instead of wallowing in pain, I could have gotten off my and forced Jungkook to tell me what happened at homecoming. And Jungkook could have come told me what happened. If he was brave enough to confess stealing RM's credit card for the hotel room to both his dads, he could have faced me.

But he wasn't.

And I wasn't.

And after all that time together in the woods, neither of us came up with a plan for what to do after we got back to civilization. No promises were made. No pacts. No I love yous were whispered in the dark. Does he still feel the same way about me, now that we're home?

Can we make it as real couple in the real world? Or are we better off staying friends?

It's easy to think you're falling in love out in the wilderness, where everything is beautiful and a tent full of condoms is just steps away. Did we just have one weeklong one-night stand?

How do I know for sure if what we shared together is fleeting or real?

It probably doesn't help that I haven't heard much from him over the last couple of days - only a few brief texts to make plans for our date when he gets back. I try not to let uncertainty get the best of me and do my best to ignore random thoughts of him meeting someone hipper than me in the city and deciding I'm not worth the trouble. I know that's just my monkey mind, chattering away, restless and distracted. But when he texts me that he needs to delay our date until after dinner, I have flashbacks about homecoming last year.

What if I'm being ditched again?

I know it's not logical, and eomma tells me to relax before I'm covered from head to toe in massive welts. But I'm dressed and ready, wearing my most flattering outfit; a white knitted tank top and an aqua pencil skirt. The sun is setting, and still not Jungkook.

It's eight o'clock

Eight thirty.

Eight forty-five.

The doorbell rings.

I nearly fall on my face, racing to answer it. And then he's there, standing in front of me. Black hair. Ripped jeans. Boyish smile.

Jungkook.

My emotions go haywire, and I'm so happy to see him, my voice dries up and vanishes. We're both standing here stupidly, and I need one of us to say something - anything!

"You're late," I finally manage.

He looks dazed. "I had to arrange some stuff. God, you look beautiful."

Fireworks go off in my chest. I think I might faint if he doesn't touch me.

Just when I can't take it anymore, his arms are around me, and my arms are around him, and he's warm and solid, and he smells good, like freshly laundered clothes hanging in the sun. I'm overwhelmed with relief. Gratitude. Joy.

I know right at that moment that it wasn't just the twinkling stars. I don't want to be Just Friends. But what about him?

"Hi," he murmurs into my hair.

"I missed you," I say, tightening my arms around his back until I can hear his heart thudding inside his chest.

I want to tell him, I miss you so much, it felt like I was dying.

I wanted him to say that to me.

But we're both silent, and I feel his arms stiffen. He pulls back, looking over my shoulder. Eomma is standing behind us, arms crossed.

"Hi, Jungkook," she says. "It's good to see you."

"You too."

She hands him a bag with something in it. "Here you go."

"Thanks," he says, smiling.

I look back and forth between them. "What's going on? Is this some sort of drug deal?"

Jungkook's brows waggle. "You'll see."

Eomma and Jungkook in cakoots? That's definitely interesting.

he gives her a shy look. "Are you . . . ? I mean, is it okay that we leave?"

"It's fine. I'm fine." She makes a shooing gesture. "You guys go on out. I'm actually looking forward to some peace and quiet. Just come back at a semireasonable hour."

"We will," he tells her, lifting the bag she gave him in thanks.

As we head down the steps, she calls out, "And, Jungkook? Keep her safe."

"Don't worry," he calls back. "I always do."

He leads me toward his car, which I haven't been inside since he got it last summer. The heavy door creaks - loudly - and the inside of the car smells like old leather and engine oil. It's not entirely unpleasant.

"No dead bodies in the back, right?" I ask when he slides into the driver's seat next to me.

"Not this week." He smiles at me, and I feel like I'm melting into the seat.

For goodness' sake, get ahold of yourself, Bae.

"Now, buckle up," he instructs me, "so I can make good on my responsibility for your safety."

"Where are we going?"

"That's a secret, Sujireongi."

A tiny, electric thrill shoots through me when he uses my nickname. "I don't like secrets," I remind him.

"You'll like this one. I think. I hope. Let's find out."

He drives down Big Hit Ave and won't give me any hints as we speed across town. I try to figure it out - a movie? A restaurant? Coffee cafe? - but he just says, "Nope," after each guess. Honestly, I'm so happy just to be close enough to reach out and touch him that I genuinely don't care where we go. But when we pass familiar landmarks and the car's engine strains climbing a hill at the edge of town, I think I realize where we're headed.

The observatory.

He pulls into the parking lot, and we're the only car here. Not surprising, because it closed half an hour ago. But Jungkook parks, and he pulls me across the parking lot toward a zigzagging cement pathway on the left side of the building, which heads to the public rooftop area. We head up inclines bordered with painted metal railings until we get to a locked gate. Jungkook punches in a key code.

"How did you know that?" I ask.

"Guess I got lucky."

"Jungkook," I say, serious.

"Suzy," he says, not serious. "I did not come by the code illegally, nor did I promise to do anything illegal in exchange for it. Now, please, if you would, Miss Bae . . ." He holds the gate open and gestures.

I squint at him and step through.

Red lights border the low wall around the dark viewing platform. Below us, at the base of the mountain, the city unfurls to the landscape, a grid of white and yellow lights, sparkling like fallen stars on black ground. The wind blows, and I smell the woods and air pollution.

It's a beautiful view. A breathtaking view.

And it's our view; we are alone.

When the observatory is operational, a connecting oxidized green dome opens up to allow a large, high-powered professional telescope to scan the skies. That's closed right now, but the two smaller public telescopes that normally are rolled into a small metal shed every night are still sitting out.

"What is this?" I ask.

"I'm not positive," he says, scratching his chin, "but I think it's an observatory."

I slant a hard look at him.

He flashes me a smile. "Solbin helped me arrange it with Dr. Choi. We talked a lot after you left the meteor shower. I thought he'd hate me after the big scene with your dad -"

I groan. It's still humiliating.

"But Dr. Choi was surprisingly cool about everything."

"He's a cool guy," I say.

"He likes you an awful lot," Jungkook says. "Which makes two of us. Here. You'll need this."

I accept the bag that eomma gave him and look inside. It's my good camera. "My mom's in on this?"

"I wanted to make sure she was okay about where we were going. Things were weird between us in the past, and I didn't want her to hate me like your dad does."

I shake my head. "She always stood up for you."

"Are you okay? I mean, about your father moving out. I know it's not easy - for you or your mom."

"It's weird," I admit. "I'm not sure it's hit me fully yet."

"I wish things had been different. As much as I've fantasized about horrible things happening to him, I never wanted to see you or Younghee hurting."

"I know," I tell him, crinkling the paper bag that holds my camera. "At least something good came out of it."

"What's that?"

"I'm not banned from seeing you," I say, feeling inexplicably shy.

"Not yet," Jungkook says, eyes merry. "The night is young."

I set the bag with my camera on a stand next to one of the telescopes. "I can't believe you did all this."

"Pfft. I just got a key code," Jungkook says. "Dr. Choi said you'd know how to use a camera mount or jig or tripod, or whatever the hell it is you use - it's supposed to be in the shed. We just have to lock everything up before we leave. And if we break anything, we're in huge trouble. I'm talking beheadings. Or lawsuits. I'm not sure which would be worse."

"Probably the lawsuit," I say, looking around. "I've never been up here alone."

"There's a lunar eclipse tonight," he says.

Huh. He's right. There is. I remember now.

He gives me a soft smile. "I know it's not as good as a meteor shower and the view isn't as good as Aspan Park, but I did promise you I'd take you to see the stars. I'm making god on that."

My breath hitches. I struggle for words, and after looking around the rooftop dumbly, I blink up at Jungkook. "I don't know what to say. It's one of the most thoughtful things anyone's ever done for me."

"I don't know . . . I'd argue that rescuing you from an angry bear should get me a few points."

I laugh. "That's true. But I let you win at poker and gave you most of my M&M's stash. If that's not love, I don't know what is."

I suddenly realize what I've said.

He realizes it too.

Still holding my hand, he slings his other arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "I'm so glad to hear that."

"Are you?" I whisper.

"Yes, I am. Because I love you too."

Goose bumps rush over my arms. "You do?"

"I've always loved you," he murmurs. "And I probably always will. You're my best friend, and you're my family. The year I waited for you was the worst of my life, but it was worth every second. If I had to do it all over again just to hold you in my arms, I would."

"Well, I would not," I say, bleary-eyed. "Because I love you too, and I can't stand to be apart from you for another minute. So stop jinxing it."

"You love me," he says, smiling stupidly. He dips his head lower, until his nose brushes mine.

"Of course I love you. You're mine, and I can't go back to being just friends. So if we have to sleep in the woods or fight with our families, then that's just what we're going to do. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it."

"Tell me again," he says as he kissed my neck right below my ear.

Warmth rushes across my skin. "I can't think straight when you do that."

"I'll stop, then."

"Don't you dare."

"Tell me again," he repeats, kissing my jaw.

"You're mine."

"The other thing."

"I love you."

He pulls back to look at me, pursing my lips as he blows out a hard breath. Then his smile is monumental. "That's the best thing I've ever heard. I'm going to need to hear it a lot. My ego is fragile."

I laugh, pushing away a tear. "You're ego has never been fragile."

"It is around you."

I kiss him under his chin, and he shivers with pleasure. "I can't think straight when you do that either."

"Good. Let's not think. It's overrate."

"I know we promised your mom that you'd be home at a decent hour, but that eclipse won't be happening until midnight -"

"You did say there were no bodies in the back of your hearse."

"It's sooo body-free back there," he assures me. "And it's no tent in the middle of the forest, but it's pretty private. There may even be a blanket and a pillow. You know I follow the Boy Scout motto. Be prepared."

"It's my favorite thing about you."

"When we were in the tent, you said it was something else," he murmurs, smiling as he pulls me closer.

"I was starving and scared and not in my right mind. I probably said a lot of things. You may have to remind me."

"Yeah? Well, I'm in the mood to solve a mystery. What do you say? Want to do some detectiving with the boy you love?"

I do. I absolutely do.

I'm working on a Sehun and Suzy fanfiction, hope you guys will also read with open interest!

Thank you all for reading!