Black bear.

Big black bear.

Big black bear tearing up Bogum's tent.

The group catches up to us as shock winds through me. Seolhyun runs into my back, and I nearly topple over. Hyejeong makes a terrified sound.

"Oh my," Bogum whispers, spotting the bear. "Oh bloody hell, oh freaking heck."

My mind empties. Every nerve in my body sings.

As if he can hear my panicked thoughts, the bear lifts his head to sniff the air. His small eyes glow chartreuse in Jungkook's headlamp, reflecting the light.

"Don't move," Jungkook says over his shoulder. "Don't run. He might chase you."

What the hell are we supposed to do, then? The wind blows the bear's musky scent in our direction, and my feet want to flee, despite Jungkook's warning.

We all stand silently. Staring. The bear stares back. he sniffs the air again, and a huge pink tongue the side of his muzzle. He's curious about us, and completely unafraid. In fact, whatever he smells in the air has made him brave. He steps out of Bogum's tent, paw ripping the fabric as his leg swings around.

He's going to charge at us.

We're going to die. If I was scared during Jungkook's story, I'm petrified now. I inhale a shaky breath. I really wish Damon were here. She would bark this bear into submission.

Or she'd tuck tail and run, which is exactly what I want to do.

"Hey!" Jungkook shouts in a booming voice that makes me jump. "Get the hell out of here! Get out!" He's waving his hands over his head as if he's dressed up like a vampire on Halloween and trying to scare little kids. Only, he sounds absolutely furious. And because his big voice is so deep, it carries over the river and bounces back in a thundering echo.

The bear is now paying attention. He pauses midstep, one enormous paw in the air, and his head stills.

Jungkook jumps forward - just one long stride. But he bellows once more as he does it, and images of him stupidly throwing himself at the bear flash behind my eyes. Blood. Screaming. Horror. I see it all unfolding, and I'm too terrified to do anything to stop it.

"I said, get out!" Jungkook shouts, clapping his hands loudly several times. He quickly scoops something off the ground and throws it at the bear. A rock? I can't tell. But it hits the bear on the nose.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

The bear shakes off the projectile. My body prepares to flee. And then -

His big, furry body slowly turns around. The bear shambles away, crushing the tent beneath him in two steps.

Jungkook claps again and starts walking toward it, slowly, casually. Shouting as if he's trying to get a horse to gallop. And then the bear picks up speed and runs into the dark woods.

Gone.

I stare at the edge of the forest until my eyes sting. Is it really gone? or is he faking us out, only to turn around and race toward us on his hind legs? Wait, so black bears stand on their hind legs? Is it just grizzly bears? I don't know. Why don't I know?

"It's okay now," Jungkook is saying. His hand is shockingly warm and firm on my neck. "Hey, it's okay. He's gone."

I look at him, dazed. It takes me several moments to find my voice, and when I do, my tongue thick in my mouth. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure," Jungkook says, looking over his shoulder at the woods. "Listen. You can hear it retreating. Those are pinecones making all the noise under his feet."

I barely hear anything. Which is good. I don't want to hear bear feet making noise.

"Holy , that was intense," Minjun says. "He's really gone?"

"For now," Jungkook says.

"What do you mean?" Seolhyun asks. "Will he come back?"

Jungkook shines his headlamp on the destroyed tent. "If he's after something, maybe. Whose tent is that?"

"Pretty sure it's Bogum's," Hyejeong says, flicking on a handheld flashlight.

She's right. Seolhyun and Bogum both chose tent spots that were next to the river.

Jungkook grumbles under his breath and cautiously walks toward the fallen tent as we follow to inspect the damage. I suspect it's pretty bad, but when Jungkook picks up one side of the nylon, I now see that it's irreparable. This is no tear. A gaping hole extends down the length of the one-man tent. Jungkook crouches and looks beneath the flap of fabric. "Are you kidding me?"

"What's wrong?" I say.

Jungkook holds up the remains of a package of store-bought chocolate chip cookies. Crumbs fall. The whole thing's ripped wide open. It's not the only thing. When Hyejeong shines her flashlight on the tent's floor, she illuminates the pouches of tuna. Candy. Pretzels.

Bogum's entire food stash.

It's spilling out from an open bear canister - one that Jungkook forced him to get. The lid is several feet away, buried under the food rubble.

"The canisters aren't even supposed to be inside our tents," Jungkook says. "At the campfire - that's where they need to be stored. And why is this open?"

"Maybe the bear opened it?" Hyejeong says.

"They can't be opened by a bear," Jungkook says. "That's the whole point!"

I look around. "Um, where's Bogum?"

"I'm here," a voice says. Bogum's hair peeks out from behind a tree, and he puts up a hand to shield his eyes from the dueling lights of Jungkook's headlamp and Hyejeong's flashlight.

"Did you not put the lid on your food?" Jungkook says, suddenly livid.

"Of course I did," Bogum says, surveying the damage with his phone. He's videoing everything. "Holy crap. That bear really went to town, didn't he?"

"This isn't funny," Jungkook says. "And you didn't put the lid on, or the bear wouldn't have smelled the food."

Bogum's eyes tighten. "I said I put it on, dude. The canister was defective."

"Hmm," Minjun says, squinting at the tent. "I don't know. I mean, it's a lid and it screws on. How could it be defective?"

"It's not. He forgot to put it on," Jungkook says.

Bogum bristles. "Are you calling me a liar?"

"I don't know," Jungkook says. "Are you?"

"Whoa," Seolhyun says. "Everyone calm down. Jungkook, is Bogum says it was defective, it was."

Jungkook stands and gets in Bogum's face. "Where were you?"

"Hey, stop shining that damn headlamp in my eyes," Bogum complains.

"Just now. You weren't with the group. Where were you? Did you run from the bear?"

"Um, no."

Jungkook gestures dramatically. "I told you not to run. They see you as prey, and they'll chase you. Black bears can run faster than humans."

"Not Seolhyun," Bogum says, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yes, even Seolhyun," Jungkook insists. "Even freaking Usain Bolt, if the bear was angry and charging at full speed. That one there was easily three hundred pounds. it could have killed any one of us."

"Dude, you need to chill," Bogum says, getting annoyed. "Your holier-than-thou is starting to stink."

"Yeah, well, I'll stop preaching when you pay attention and quit treating this like a game."

"I haven't done anything."

"You neglected to put the lid on your canister," Jungkook says, stabbing a finger in the air accusingly. "Then you ran from the bear after I said not to."

Bogum roughly pushes Jungkook. "Guess what? You aren't in charge, dude."

Jungkook shoves Bogum's shoulder. "You put us all in danger, dude."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Minjun says, getting between the two boys and forcing them apart. "We're not going to do this. Let's all relax and figure it out."

"There's nothing to figure out," Jungkook says.

Seolhyun steps into the circle. "Hey! Maybe you need to consider that Bogum's telling the truth."

"Thank you, Seolhyun," Bogum says, still angry. "I'm glad someone here trusts me."

Everyone tries to talk at once. Minjun wants people to settle down. Jungkook wants Bogum to admit that he's wrong. Seolhyun wants Jungkook to leave Bogum alone. Hyejeong wants to know if the bear is going to come back - which is something I think we all need to consider. So with her help, I start packing Bogum's food remnants inside the now-empty bear canister, sweeping up cookie crumbs into my palms. My eyes fall on the canister lid, poking out from the rubble.

It crosses my mind that all I'd need to do is pick it up and test it out on the canister to see if Bogum was lying about it being faulty. Do I want to know? If Bogum was lying, he'll look like an idiot. Or Jungkook might kill him. Conflicting emotions swirl inside my chest, so I continue cleaning up, avoiding the lid.

"This is a wreck," Hyejeong says when the arguing dies down, lifting up a piece of shredded tent. "I know we talked about wild animals, but I swear, in a million years, I never really believed we'd see one. Like, maybe some squirrels or rabbits. But not this."

That makes two of us.

Sullen, Jungkook kneels at my side and picks up a dented can.

"Did you see any bears when you were out here before?" Hyejeong asks Jungkook. "Is that how you knew what to do?"

He shakes his head. "I've seen them alongside bigger trails in other parts of the park, but they always kept their distance. This one is way too comfortable around people. I think I need to report it, so that the rangers can keep an eyes on this area. But right now, we need to make sure the food is contained so that it doesn't come back."

"And figure out what to do about this tent," I say, looking at Bogum. "I don't think you can sleep here."

Hyejeong shrugs at Bogum. "You can just sleep in Seolhyun's tent. I mean, you'd end up there, anyway, right? No biggie."

My body foes rigid.

"Uh-oh," Hyejeong murmurs. "Sorry, guys. I know I wasn't supposed to say anything."

I look from Hyejeong to Seolhyun and Bogum. "Are you two . . . together?"

Bogum turns around and mumbles something to Seolhyun that I can't hear as he takes a couple steps toward the river.

"Seolhyun?" I say. "Is it true?"

"Suzy . . ." She squeezes her eyes shut.

Omo. It is true.

"You two are together? Why didn't you tell me?"

She lifts a hand to gesture and then lets it fall back down to her sides and shakes her her head. "I don't know. Because."

"Because why?"

"I knew you'd flip out, okay?" she says, suddenly defensive.

"I'm not -"

"You are doing it right now. Don't you see? You always get freaked out when things don't go exactly the way you've planned, with all your stupid blueprints and checklists, and maybe I just didn't want to deal with that."

I'm humiliated. And confused. If she was seeing Bogum, why did she encourage me to go after him back after the kiss at the party? "How long have . . . ? I mean, since when?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Why?" she says, exasperated. "Don't you get it? I was trying to spare your feelings. That's why I made Bogum invite Jungkook along."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you guys dated last fall. One of Hyejeong's friends saw you guys mauling at each other's faces near the skate park. Everyone knows!"

Omo. I want to die. I can't even look at Jungkook. I'm utterly humiliated.

"And the thing is," she continues, "you insisted that the two of you were just friends, even when I asked you point-blank if you were seeing each other. I even ask Solbin - because God knows you tell her more secrets than you've ever told me - but she covered for you and said nothing was going on."

This is impossible. Solbin never knew, so there was no reason for her to "cover" for anything.

Seolhyun crosses her arms. "Apparently, I'm not part of the inner circle anymore. I'm just someone you use when it's convenient, like when you need a place to sit at lunch."

"That's not true!" Right? I'm not using Seolhyun - at least not more than she uses me. She cheats off my tests in class. She calls to ask for help with homework. Do I not help her?

"Clearly you don't trust me with your secrets," she says. "So why should I trust you with mine?"

I want to respond, but I'm stuck in place, dumbly staring.

"Seolhyun . . . ," Hyejeong says in a tentative voice.

"You just couldn't keep quiet, could you?" Seolhyun says, turning on Hyejeong. "A couple more days, and she would be gone on her stupid astronomy club meet-up. All I asked what that you not to say anything about Bogum and me until after she'd left, but you couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"I -"

"I just wanted one nice thing this summer. Just one!" Seolhyun's eyes gloss over with tears. "None of you has any idea what I'm going through. You have no idea what it's like to train every single day for years - years! Then my foot slips for a fraction of a second and I have to give up on my dreams."

"You aren't the only person here with dreams," I tell her.

"But I'm the only person here with the talent to back them up."

"Aish," Minjun says. "Listen to yourself, Seolhyun."

"I don't care what you think of me," Seolhyun says, giving him a defiant shrug as she swipes away tears. "Your family has money - big deal. So does mine. But I don't see you trying to do something big with your life. I was headed to the Olympics, okay? The god-damn Olympics!"

"We know you were," Hyejeong says, sympathetic. "And we're sorry."

"I don't need your pity," Seolhyun tells her. "The only reason Minjun is interested in you is because you piss off his parents."

"Hey!" Minjun says, agitated.

"This is my trip," she says, thumping her chest. "I paid for all this stuff and I arranged everything. This was supposed to make me feel better. It wasn't about any of you."

"You're being a huge , you know that?" Jungkook tells Seolhyun.

"I'm being real," she says. "And while we're getting everything out in the open, let me just say what a complete and utter you've been to Bogum on this trip. He wanted you to come."

"Did he? Because he wants to glom onto my mom's frame? Or to distract Suzy from the fact you and Bogum are seeing each other because you knew she'd be hurt by this? Either reason is ty."

"Really uncool, man," Bogum says. "I was just trying to help Seolhyun play Cupid. Everyone knows you're carrying a massive torch for Suzy, so why are you complaining?"

What? No way is that true.

Seolhyun points at Jungkook. "See? Bogum likes you, and you've been nothing but a prick to him since we left Daegu. You should be grateful he's impressed by your has-been punk-rock mother."

Jungkook's lips thin into a straight line. "Keep my mother's name out of your mouth."

"No one cares! No one even remembers her."

I've seen Jungkook angry plenty of times. But right now, he's furious. He never used to be so defensive about his mother. His dads, yes, but every time someone had brought up his mom, a storm cloud drops over his head.

"Everyone, please calm down," Hyejeong begs.

Bogum steps forward. "Look, we're all saying things we don't really mean. Suzy, I'm sorry we didn't tell you about us. But that doesn't mean we can't all enjoy each other's company. Seolhyun and I both want the same thing - for everyone to have a good time. Is that so wrong?"

"A good time?" Jungkook repeats. "You could have gotten us killed tonight."

"You'd like to make everyone believe that, wouldn't you? Maybe the problem is that you led us out into bear country. Maybe you're a ty wilderness guide."

This is the tipping point for me. All the revelations that have surfaced in the last few minutes line up in my head like coordinates on a map:

Seolhyun not only failed to tell me about her relationship with Bogum, but she also tried to con me into starting something up with Jungkook - just so that she could have Bogum for herself.

She's been holding a grudge against me because I'm friends with Solbin.

Hyejeong has spread gossip all around school about me and Jungkook.

Bogum is definitely not interested in me.

I'm definitely not interested in Bogum. Not anymore. The thrill is so gone.

All of these things stack on top of each other, incremental scraps of trash, piling up on the heap of garbage that is my life right now. Because back at home, I still have to face my cheating father. My unaware mother. The embarrassment of the Jeons knowing about our sordid family problems.

And Jungkook. Being around him has awakened a dormant hope inside me, and to know that my interactions with him were manipulated is the worst kind of betrayal. I thought I was starting to enjoy his company again, but was I? Or were we both being scripted to talk to each other inside Seolhyun's puppet show?Looking back now, I can't tell what was real and what's been forced.

Something snaps inside my head.

I pick up the lid and slam it onto the canister, twirling it into place until the safety mechanism double clicks. Then I walk the container over to Bogum, shoving it into his hands. "Not faulty."

Bogum blinks at the canister, then at me. No one says anything for a long moment. It's Seolhyun's voice that breaks the silence.

"You want to be petty?" she says. "Fine. You can forget about sitting with me when school starts back next week. We're done. Go back to Solbin."

I turn around and face her, angry tears welling. "Solbin never abandoned you. Solbin still likes you, for some stupid reason! You're the one who started hanging out with private school kids after your parents got rich. You're the one who thought training for the Olympics was more important than hanging out with your friends. And what did that get you? A bunch of friends who only hang with you out of pity or social obligation. Wake up, Seolhyun. No one even cares that you failed the stupid Olympic trials. Running isn't even a talent - it's just moving your legs!"

"Suzy," Jungkook says quietly.

I look around and everyone is staring at me as though I've just insulted them. It takes me a second to realize that maybe I did. And you know what? I don't think I care. Maybe it was unfair to drag Minjun into this, but the rest of them can go to hell. Right now, I hate Bogum for ever kissing me, filling me with hope. I hate Hyejeong for trying to manipulate me. And I definitely hate Selhyun for ruining my summer.

Until I look at her.

For one glimmering moment, she looks as though she might cry. And that makes me feel . . . horrible. I'm not this person. I don't get in nasty fights with people. Arguing gives me hives.

I want to tell her I'm sorry.

I want her to tell me she's sorry.

I want to rewind back to the morning eomma told me about this awful trip and tell her no.

Just when I open my mouth to apologize, Seolhyun says, "Thanks for destroying this trip." She gestures toward Jungkook. "You can both go and screw yourselves." She pivots, about to turn around, but then stops. "Oh, and by the way, your disgusting dad tried to sleep with Jung Soyeon's mom after the Olympic fund-raiser in Busan this spring. I never told my mom, because she'd stop patronizing your parents' stupid clinic, but you can bet I'm telling her now."

Time stops. I don't move, don't breathe, don't even blink. It's not until I feel hot tears sliding down my cheeks that I realize I'm crying. And for a second, I'm still frozen in place, trying to summon a response. But I can't.

My head is empty. I just want it all to go away. Seolhyun. Bogum. Jungkook. This disaster of a camping trip.

My father.

All of it sticks painfully in my throat, unable to escape. I feel as if I'm drowning while tiny piranhas nip at my skin, eating off chunks of my pride. And because we're out here in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of night, with a hungry bear and God only knows what else nearby, I do the only thing I can do, which is to retreat to my tent.

I barely can find my way in the moonlight. It seems far darker out here than it does in the city. And after I nearly break my neck, stumbling over dead wood and rocks, I somehow manage to get inside and zip myself away from the rest of the group. It's an ineffective substitute for a door slamming, take that! moment, especially when I realize that I can still hear voices in the distance. I can't make out what they're saying, but it really kills the illusion of privacy.

If my hives were bad before, they're going to rage now. I scavenge around in my pack for antihistamines and take two, swallowing them dry with no water. Exhaling a ragged breath, I lie back on my sleeping bag and stare into nothing. The ground is hard and cold beneath me, and I can feel a sharp rock poking into my hip. 

The fight tumbles around in my mind, and I'm wounded all over again by everything that just happened. And then there's my dad. Does everyone in Daegu know about him? Are Eomma and I the only ones who've been in the dark? Aish. How stupid are we? An empty pang stabs my chest, and I wish Eomma were here now, so I could talk to her. Or maybe so she could talk to me.

Wind rustles the side of my tent as I take off my hair tie and wiggle into my sleeping bag. Everything inside here smells strongly synthetic, like nylon and plastic. Maybe I have it zipped up too tightly. Should I open a vent flap? What if the bear comes back and smell me in here, like he smelled Bogum's cookies.

I decide that it doesn't matter. I suddenly overwhelmingly tired. No sleep last night. Getting up early. All that hiking. The antihistamines. I feel myself falling asleep, and after a while, I stop fighting. I just let it take me under.

(∩。·ｏ·。)っ.ﾟ☆。

When I wake, the inside of the tent is pale gray and chilly. My fingers and nose are Popsicles, and when I try to move, I realize I feel asleep in my clothes. I also never did anything about that rock beneath the tent, and now my hip feels as if I've broken something.

On top of that, I had weird dreams about Jungkook. Very screwed up, very dreams. He was killing that bear, and dear God, why is my brain so messed up? It must have something to do with Bogum's comment last night about Jungkook carrying a torch for me. Which is stupid, because Jungkook's not carrying any sort of torch for me. And how could he be, really, because I'm the one with the unrequited feelings. I'm the torch carrier. Jungkook left me.

I'd like nothing more than to stay cocooned in my sleeping bag and go back to sleep so that I can maybe redo those dreams in a different, non direction. But I sit up to check my hives - present, but under control - and soon I realize I have to pee. Badly. There's room enough for me to get into a crouching position, but I can't really stand in here, so after rummaging through my pack for supplies, I crawl my way across the sleeping bag and my way to freedom.

All is quiet. It's gray outside, but a marigold light shines through the eastern trees. Everything is damp, and the subtle scent of pine fills my nostrils when I walk. I've never been more awake in my life. I'm on edge, thinking of the bear, eyes flickering to every bird call, every rustling leaf. I don't see anyone. No bear, no people. Just the flattened husk of Bogum's destroyed tent next to Seolhyun's.

After a trek into the forest to relieve my aching bladder,  I walk back to base camp and spot movement across the river. Anxiety over last night's fight seizes me, and I dread seeing Seolhyun or Bogum. It takes me several panicked heartbeats to clear away the antihistamine fog and recognize Jungkook in a black hoodie. He's crossing the rocks from the opposite bank, a hatchet holstered to his hip and an armful of firewood. When he spots me, he lifts his head briefly, and I'm surprised how relieved I am to see him.

Don't think about the bear dreams.

He's headed for the granite shelter area, and I catch up with him there. He dumps the pile of gathered firewood near the pit. When his back is to me, my eyes roam the backside of his figure. Muscular. Tall. Mature.

"Hey," I say. "Guess we're the only people up, huh?"

"Yes and no." He squats near the pit to arrange tinder int he center, bark and dead leaves.

"What do you mean, yes and no?"

"Are you hungover?" he asks, squinting. "You sound slow."

"Antihistamines."

"Ah. Hard drugs. Are your hives acting up?"

"Sort of. What do you mean, yes and no?" I repeat, looking around the camp.

He sighs. "Over there, on the bear canister."

They're stacked in a row near the boulders we were using for seats, along with some camp cookware. Then I stop a strip of toilet paper sitting under a rock. Something's been written on it, a message in what appears to be eyeliner. It's Seolhyun's handwriting. I remove the rock and read the note:

Find your own way home.