“Be happy.“ Baekhyun spoke up through the silence of the room. “Promise me you will find happiness again. Promise me you will let yourself fall in love.“

The arms around him squeezed just a little bit tighter, and he closed his eyes at the feeling of the firm chest pressed against his back.

“I can’t do that.” His voice was deep as the words were whispered into his ear, making the others heart do a funny thing in his chest. He could listen to that voice forever.

“Lie then.” Refusing to open his eyes anymore, Baekhyun fought to keep the tears at bay. “Tell me you will be happier without me; that I will be easy to forget. Swear to me you never loved me, and promise you will love someone else. Lie to me, Chanyeol.”

Time ticked on in silence, minutes passing before the other spoke again, his voice strained. Nothing like it usually is. “I promise you I will be happy. I will fall in love again. My heart will never ache for you, and my mind will forget you easily.”

Baekhyun took a shaky breath at the words. “Okay.”

Lie to me.

“Be happy, Baekhyun. Please promise me you will find happiness again too.”

“I will.”

Lies. It was all lies.

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“Be happy, Baekhyun.”

The words became like a mantra in his head as years went by, one after another. Time didn’t stop as his heart was left broken. Time stopped for no one.

 

It was indeed a cruel mistress, and soon enough Baekhyun was drowning in his lies; in the promises he can’t keep.

“I promise to love and to hold. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.”

Lies.

“You’re never home, Baekhyun! Do you even love me?”

“I do. Of course I do. Work has just been busy.”

Lies.

“Is there someone else? Are you cheating on me?” She looked betrayed, broken, sad.

“No.” He refused to meet her eyes. Sometimes, when the light hit just right, they were a particular shade of brown that made his heart ache.

Sometimes it was too much.

“Do…do you even love me anymore?”

“Yes, of course.”

Lies! Lies! Lies!

“I want a divorce.”

He has seen it coming. It has been months since he did as much as kiss her. “Okay.”

She deserved better.

 

 

 

“I can’t believe she would cheat on you like that!” As his mother’s arms circled his waist and pulled him in close, Baekhyun just nodded numbly; taking in her rage without a single word. “My poor son, I’m sorry you have to go through this. If I knew she was such a snake…”

Tuning her out, the man fought the urge to roll his eyes and defend the woman who just walked out of his life forever.

He knew. He has known for a while.

Hyuna was just brave enough to follow her heart and leave with someone who actually loved her. She was brave and Baekhyun admired her for it.

A tiny hand tugged at his own, making him look down, meeting brown.

How many more lies will he have to tell?

Will they ever stop?

As he woke up to an empty bed, whispers of a summer breeze and rolling waves fresh from a time past, Baekhyun closed his eyes again thinking that no; the lies will never stop. Just like the pain in his heart.

 

 

 

Baekhyun leaned onto the door, eyes focused on the steady rise and fall of the small chest under the covers as he watched his son sleep with a heavy heart.

He cried himself to sleep again, asking for ‘mommy’ as tears streamed down his face. It has been months though, and the man made peace with the fact that she left him too. He really made a mess of things if she couldn’t even look at their son anymore.

Life goes on though, life always goes on.

“Be happy, Baekhyun.”

He has promised he will be, but they both knew it was a lie anyway.

 

“Why did mommy leave?”

“She had some important work to do.”

“Will she be back?” Eyes so like his own showed sadness as the boy looked up at him in a way no three year old should. Pleading. Miserable. Knowing loss before he had time to know love.

Baekhyun heart felt like breaking.

“I don’t know honey. Maybe.”

LIES

 

 

More often then he really allowed himself to admit, Baekhyun found himself remembering the good times. The years he was happy; summers when all he could feel was love.

With all the years past, all that was left now was regret. The what if’s keeping him up at night. What if he asked him to run away? What if he said yes? What if he was brave enough?

Some days those thoughts sent him to the bar as his parents watched over his son, the only good thing left in his life. Three years now he has been a single father and he regrets none of it. If he really thought about it, Baekhyun wouldn’t change a thing because if he said yes, if they ran, he wouldn’t have Jonnu. The little boy with a big heart and gummy smiles who makes Baekhyun smile in return even on the worst of days wouldn’t exist and no world deserves that. He will grow up to do some great things, the man knows it.

So he wouldn’t change any of it, he really wouldn’t.

Some days though. Some days he fears that if a magical genie appears before him, able to grant a wish, he would still give it all away in a heartbeat.

 

 

 

“You need to get back out there man.” The man’s speech was slurred as he slung an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders. “It’s been years man. You can’t be hung up on her anymore. It will ruin you man.”

Nursing his own drink, the words were left ignored. He wasn’t hung up on her. There was nothing to be hung up. Baekhyun just didn’t want to pretend anymore. There was Jonnu to think about now; he was priority.

Plus he has ruined quite enough lives already thank you very much.

The man continued his drunken babbles, not noticing his lack of response to them.

It didn’t matter anyway.

He won’t remember any of it in the morning.

Downing the drink, Baekhyun asked for another. Some days it’s best to just drink until you’re numb.

 

 

 

Living your life based on lies and broken promises you made when you were younger really isn’t the best way to go, he knew that; but it’s not like life really cared either way. Weather you were ready for it or not the clock ticked on and the earth kept spinning,

Another Christmas past, Baekhuyn sitting next to his mom as they ate dinner and Jonnu talked about that little card that came in the mail from his mom. She promised to see him soon.

It seems he isn’t the only one living a lie.

As the little boy slept on that night, clutching the card in his hand, Baekhyun drank himself to sleep in the living room. The tree was all lit up and there was still wrapping paper everywhere. And really, he should be happy. Jonnu was happy. His parents seemed happy that day too. It hurt though, it really really hurt.

Months past like nothing. Baekhyun worked, took care of Jonnu, did his best to be there for him for anything and everything his son could need. He also drank.

He drank and then it was Easter. It was Easter and he really had to stop. Jonnu only had him left. He has to stop for him. He’s happy like this anyway. Just him and Jonnu against the world. He can be happy with his life.

Baekhuyn flushed the whiskey down the drain even as he knew it was a lie.

Hyuna didn’t show up, but another card did. It ended up in the trash.

He needs to start over.

“Be happy, Baekhyun.”

 

 

 

 

Jonnu was starting school and was positively jumping from excitement. Baekhuyn smiled as he watched him enter the classroom with one last look towards him for encouragement. He gave him a thumbs up, and just like that he was gone.

The man was still smiling as he made his way back to the car.

He googled the meaning of happiness once. When his life was crumbling down and divorce papers laid signed on the table.

It said that Happiness is a sense of well-being, of joy; something that you feel when you just can’t help but smile. Jonnu can be his happiness now; he had thought back then. It will never be the same kind of happiness but it will be something.

They moved. He ran. He was happy.

There were still nights though…Nightmares wrapped in memories. Those seem to never be gone.

 

 

 

“Wanna know a secret?”

“I love you.”

 

 

 

Baekhuyn turned in bed, willing the tears away. There was no point to it. No point in mourning something long lost. No point in what if’s when he killed any and all chances for that life so foolishly almost ten years ago.

One day maybe. Maybe he gets that second chance.

Maybe that’s why he found himself driving through the all too familiar path as Jonnu chatted along excitedly about how fun camp will be. It was one of those stupid ideas of his again.

“Goodbye, Chanyeol.”

But then again his whole life is just a bunch of stupid ideas.

 

 

Baekyhun’s steps faltered even as Jonnu continued pulling him towards the entrance of the campsite, because suddenly he was right there and it was hard to breathe. It still looked the same.

“I always wait for you.”

His breaths came out harsh as his eyes fell onto the spot. Their spot. The man could almost see him standing there, all lanky and boyish with that damn smile of his and his name on his lips.

There was no one there though and his eyes were wet.

“Everything okay, dad?” The soft voice made Baekhyun snap out of it as he made himself continue walking even though the little boy wasn’t pulling him along anymore. Looking at him worriedly instead.

It was enough to make him snap his gaze forward and dry his eyes. This isn’t about him. He can break down when he gets back to the hotel, but not here. Not now. Not in front of Jonnu.

“It’s quite dusty here.” He did his best to smile down at his son in reassurance. “Something just got in my eye.”

Jonnu didn’t say anything to that, which was a good thing because the second they actually entered the campground the man felt like he was punched in the face as all air left his lungs at the sight.

Right there to his left was the cabin. Their cabin. The place he dreamt about on many nights. One where he lost his ity. Where he spent the best days of his life with the boy who stole his heart and refused to give it back.

It was their cabin. Next to their tree. One that he didn’t even have to come near to know that their initials were still carved into even after so many years.

Their lake. Their forest. Their camp.

Jonnu was talking animatedly again, but Baekyhun heard nothing as he looked around with his vision blurry again.

They kissed between those two cabins at 2am one night because their cabin was full of other boys and they had to sneak around for a quick make out. Chanyeol and Luhan spend many mornings sitting with him on that old creaky bench laughing as they watched the younger kids run around. Right where he just stood is where he poured yogurt on Luhan’s head because he blocked them that morning. Something he regretted immediately because he had to run and hide from him for the rest of the day while Chanyeol laughed his off, indicating exactly where they were hiding like the big idiot that he was.

All around the man were memories of the life he missed and it was too much. He can remember it all no matter how many years have passed since those days and it doesn’t hurt any less than it did that last year he came back to see that Chanyeol hasn’t.

Bowing his head down and quickly wiping the few stray tears with the hem of his shirt Baekhyun already knew that he will need a drink to fall asleep later. But that was later.

Jonnu was still excitedly pointing out the soccer field and the bonfire pit, that the man knows will be lit in a few hours when the sun starts going down, and so many other places that he can’t wait to explore and play at; making Baekhyun do his best not to break down just yet.

They turned a corner then though and there was nothing to stop the broken sound that left his mouth as his eyes landed on the back of a man.

He could hear his voice as he talked to a little girl that held his hand while a boy younger than her sat on his shoulders. Those shoulders that he will know anywhere no matter how much different and filled out he looks now.

The man wasn’t so lanky anymore; no longer a teenager after all. Voice was deeper then he remembered too. But it was still him. There was no one else that it could be.

Their eyes met and all that he could see was brown.

“Chanyeol.”

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol was married and had three kids. He worked as a music producer, mostly doing jingles in his little town because he never did get out. He still had the same laugh though. Still looked at Baekhyun like he is the best thing that ever happened to him.

And within an hour he was ing said man into the mattress of his hotel room like he never wants to let him go again.

“Are you happy?” It was a whisper as Baekhyun had his face pressed against the others chest, holding on for dear life like he did so long ago. His body was spent and sated, but mind shaken.

They shouldn’t have done this. Chanyeol is married and Baekyhun is selfish. So damn selfish.

He still didn’t let go when he answered the other man’s question honestly for once.

“No.”

He didn’t dare ask the same in return.

 

 

 

 

Their separation this time wasn’t quiet. No, it was loud and angry as Baekyhun threw him out of his hotel room after two days of and ‘I love you’s’. There was a lot of yelling and words that neither meant because even though he never wanted to let him go again Chanyeol was married with three kids and a house with a damn picket fence.

The fact that he took him from that for as long as he did made the man sick to his stomach enough to spend the rest of the week too drunk to think about it.

He never did dare ask Chanyeol if he was happy.

He’s just a coward like that.

Selfish selfish coward.

But then again wasn’t he always?

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol came back with a smile, a black eye and a suitcase.

He slammed the door in his face before he does something stupid like invite him in.

“Let me in Baek. Let me explain.” His words were desperate, and they made Baekhyun close his eyes as he leaned against the door. Not nearly drunk enough for this.

“Go home Chanyeol.”

“I am.”

“No.” His voice was shaking now, but he still fought it to sound like he means it. “You have a family you idiot.”

“So do you.” Chanyeol answered back unhelpfully, making the other hit the door with a fist so he does something other than open that damn door.

“All the more of a reason for you to leave.”

“No.”

“You can’t just say that.” His voice was weak, a mere whisper of a broken man.

“I love you. I miss you.”

“You can’t say that damnit!” Anger cut through his body like hot coal.

“I can and I’ll say it until the day I die.”

“You’re married.” A whisper.

“The divorce papers are on their way.” Chanyeol countered easily as Baekyhun took another shaky breath.

“We can’t be together Yeol. Not here. Not ever.”

“We’ll leave. Go to Seoul like we always said we will. We’ll run. Let us run.”

“I can’t make you leave your kids. You’re not leaving them for me.”

“You’re not asking. It’s done.” The words were a punch in the gut.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Baekyhun didn’t even have to look at the man to know that it wasn’t ‘just like that’. The pain of it was obvious even from behind the door, but the other didn’t let him point it out as he continued on in a whisper. Sounding as broken as he felt. “I can’t lose you again Baek. I would rather give up everything I have in this world then lose you again.”

And there, right there; was his answer without having to ask at all.

Be happy, Baekyhun.

The man’s forehead hit the door softly. How can I be happy without you? When you aren’t happy either?

Slowly the door clicked open.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun was running again.

When asked why he’s moving so far away all of the sudden, his answer every time was that it was a good job opportunity that came up.

It was a lie. He was lying again.

Honestly though, when has he ever stopped?

Their apartment in Seoul was tiny. They couldn’t afford anything big as his new job was not the best thing in the world money wise. And Chanyeol wasn’t allowed to see his kids ever again since his ex wife found out exactly who he left her for. But Jonnu liked his new school, and loved the other man, and Baekhyun hasn’t smiled so much in a long time.

Happy. The word appeared in his head one morning as he looked up from his breakfast only to meet warm brown eyes and a smile over the lip of the coffee cup that was brought to his lips.

It wasn’t perfect but he was happy.

Maybe he didn’t need perfect.

Maybe warm smiles and whispered ‘I love you’s’ were enough. Maybe they were always enough.

 

 

 

“Are you happy?” Baekhyun asked one night as Jonnu fell asleep and they were getting ready to do the same in between kisses in the darkness of their room.

Chanyeol; the boy that stole his heart at summer camp, the man that he woke up to every morning; smiled before answering. “Yes. Are you?”

It’s been two years since they ran away. Two years of happiness.

“Yes.”

For once, it wasn’t a lie.

 

 

 

 

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This took me a year to finish cause I kept stopping and picking up other fics. So I'm sorry if it's not my best work, but hey it's done!

Also hi :) If you're new here I'm the idiot who posts very sparingly but I get there in the end!

Anyway, this is the sequel to my other fic that you have the link for in the forward.

Thanks for reading!

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