Little one…

 

She was burning. She could not breathe; she tried, but failed due to some kind of acid that was burning and lungs. Her body systems were shutting down and somehow, she knew that she was dying.

 

You have to make a choice.

 

She squeezed her eyes, but it seemed as if they were full of sand, so it did no good. Everything hurt, and she wanted to scream, but she only managed to whimper slightly instead.

 

There is no time.

 

She felt as if she was in a dark tunnel, one without an ending. There would be no light waiting for her. Instead, she had to make herself comfortable in the endless darkness.

 

You have to do it now.

 

She did not know where she was, or when she was. She struggled to remember what had happened before she started dying.

 

She remembered Yifan’s call through their bond. He urged her to fight, to come to him quickly, but Barbara stood in her way.

 

She remembered the bite. She remembered taking a gulp of Barbara’s blood without hesitation, and how it burned her lips and mouth immediately. At the moment, she had not cared about it, not one second. All she could think of was how she had probably murdered Tao, and nothing else mattered.

 

Not even Yifan telling her to stop.

 

She remembered his strong, cold arms around her, pushing her away from Barbara. She had screamed, hissed, and clawed at him, attempting to break away from his grasp and return to her sole purpose - making her disintegrate.

 

Barbara’s body was full of bites. Her skin was full of scratches, and dark, thick blood was gushing out of many places at once. She knew it would not be enough, though - only a stake through the heart would finish the job.

 

“It’s enough,” she heard his deep voice resonate around her. It made goosebumps appear on her arms and she would’ve wanted to do nothing more than just hug him tightly to herself and rejoice in the fact that he was alive and appearingly not a killing machine anymore, but it was not enough.

 

It would not be enough until Barbara was dead.

 

So she screamed again and again and trashed against Kris until he was not holding her anymore, and of course, at that point, Barbara was not on the ground anymore.

 

“You need to stop!” He was now shouting, too, and Lamiya turned, baring her teeth at him, because she was now doubting his intentions and wondering whether he was still on her side.

 

She had ignored the bile already rising up , and the throbbing of her head.

 

Now, she was consumed by it, and as her heartbeat slowed and she felt the life slowly seeping out of her body, she knew that it wouldn’t have changed a thing, had she listened to him and stopped when he’d told her to.

 

Lamiya… Please.

 

She attempted to breathe again, overwhelmed by some strange feeling that she knew did not belong to her, and the breath got stuck in .

 

She tried to cough, but gurgled instead. She was suffocating, gasping, struggling to make her lungs work, but they refused.

 

Whatever you choose, I’ll understand.

 

To escape from the pain and the fact that she was going to die, she went back to her memory, not quite sure how she’d found herself in this position yet.

 

She remembered stumbling on her feet, from the feeling of light-headedness or because she had still not fully recovered from the previous wounds, she did not know. With Barbara out of her eyesight, the adrenaline rush subsided and now she was stuck with its after-effects.

 

Yifan’s arms were ready to catch her before she had a chance to fall and hurt herself further. “Your body cannot take this, so stop,” he said in a low, gentle voice, and it finally reached her. “Trust me, I know very well how you are feeling right now, and it is only going to get worse.”

 

“Step away from her!” Barbara hissed, and Lamiya felt a new rush of power. This time, though, she could not take Kris by surprise, and experience overruled raw strength - he was now using her whole body to pin her to the ground, and his body was shielding Barbara from her view.

 

She wanted to see how battered the red-headed witch looked with her own eyes. “Let me go, Kris!” she said as she trashed against him.

 

Kris calmly ignored her. “Barbara, this is over. I am claimed, and you see very well what is going on with her, so let the change take place in peace.”

 

The change?

 

She stopped thrashing against Kris. So she really was becoming a vampire… Out of all the thoughts that could’ve popped into her mind, she found herself thinking how she had thought for such a long time that he’d understood her, but of course he was happy that she was going to become one of his kind.

 

“No,” she hissed. “It is not over and we both know it. Not if I kill her before she drinks your blood.”

 

Then she laughed in that annoying way of hers, and if Lamiya wasn’t fighting the urge to throw up, she would’ve lost it. “You think I haven’t noticed the fact that you don’t reek of her scent?” She then tsked. “No, darling. Her neck is sealed, but yours…”

 

She could not really remember what happened next. There was an awfully familiar shriek, one that reminded her of the time when she’d been attacked by the Order, half-sane, talking to a non-existent Kris on a regular basis and disoriented after having run from Kris’ servants who were calling her Queen, thinking they were lunatics.

 

Then she was thrown back into reality because Kris was shouting. His body stopped shielding her from the unfolding events, and though she was free to get up from the cold ground, she found that she could not, and…

 

She tried to move her head, to wish the memory away, to go back to her temporary blissful ignorance, but it was over.

 

Just know that…

 

She remembered being able to sob, through the bile and the fire burning in her stomach, and the feeling of being paralysed. She remembered being able to scream, “Tao!” as if that would change anything.

 

She remembered his blood being scattered on the floor, and the boyish look on his face as he looked at her, as if trying to tell her, What do we do now? How do we fix this?

 

She did not care whether she was going to die. She did not care what they were going to do to her, or even to Kris - she did not have enough time to even realize that he was alive.

 

But Tao… Tao was like a son to her. He was the only completely pure thing in her life that did not get tainted by her past, present or uncertain future.

 

And now she had to see this happening to him, the shocked expression on his face and fear in his eyes. Now she had to see him with Barbara’s hand sticking out of his chest, his pierced heart clutched in it.

 

And she was laughing.

 

She gurgled again. It seemed that time had slowed down to let her relive the recent past, or perhaps she was still able to get enough air into her collapsing lungs to be able to survive. But she would have to let go eventually.

 

As she remembered the way his lifeless body fell onto the floor, with his brooch seemingly staring at her mockingly, smeared with blood just like in that dream she had had some time ago, she welcomed the moment when that happened and she let herself go into the darkness.

 

Know that I want you to do it.

 

What happened after that? She did not know. All she could remember was Yifan’s hands around her frame, attempting to get her away from Barbara, Yifan’s hands around , cutting her breath, Yifan’s fists connecting with her jaw, and pain, so much pain…

 

And then a female scream, and she was sure that she’d gotten Barbara and carved her heart out of her chest, but she could not remember how. The memories of Yifan fighting her must’ve been just some crazy figment of her imagination.

 

Now, she mildly felt the sensation of someone holding her hand, briefly returning her to reality. It must’ve been Yifan, happy and elated that she was going to become a vampire…

 

She knew what she’d do the moment she opened her undead eyes.

 

The silver stake was hopefully still secured around her belt.

 

She did not want his closeness now. Not when he was not whom she’d thought him to be, not when he was happy because she was going to spend an eternity cursed like this.

 

But then she remembered that it could not be true. It simply could not.

 

“Madam,” a low voice appeared out of nowhere, startling her out of reading the book named Vampire Laws. Contrary to its name, the book was actually really interesting, mentioning all kinds of vampiric traditions that were followed so strictly as if they were laws. She was just reading about vampires’ relationships with children and how it was not uncommon for them to adopt human children as their own and turn them after they’ve reached grown age.

 

When she turned, she saw that a figure was looming behind the trunk of a large pine tree, just barely lit by the flashlight that she was using to light her surroundings while she read her book.

 

She found herself at the remote areas of the campus often, especially after what happened with getting bit by a vampire and surviving without becoming one or dying, which was still unexplained and the cause of many rumors.

 

This was the first time someone was actually not afraid of her suddenly growing fangs.

 

“Yes?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed. “What are you doing so close to the woods? Come closer so that I can see you.”

 

The man stepped closer while she was trying to identify him by the sound of his voice, and she wondered how she could not remember a voice that distinct-

 

She gasped.

 

It was the vampire. The one who’d saved her.

 

“Damn it,” she muttered, leaning her back on the trunk of the tree she was sitting under, putting her book down next to her leg. “I knew it.”

 

“Knew what?” he said, still coming closer to her, an eyebrow raised. If he wasn’t a vampire, she would’ve described him as handsome, not murderous.

 

“That your behavior has to have a rational explanation. You did not save me out of the goodness of your heart. You were just waiting for another chance to finish the job!”

 

The way he’d smiled back then…

 

Even though in that moment she’d truly believed that he was going to kill her, she could now admit to herself that she’d fallen in love with him right then and there, holding a book about vampire laws in front of herself as protection while the flashlight shone a light onto the two of them.

 

She remembered the night at the lake. Him telling her she still had a reflection. And then the dam protecting her from the memories of him - the dam she’d deliberately created because it was the only way she could live without him - finally broke, and she remembered a million small situations.

 

“If you close your eyes right now, I’ll come closer,” he said while she played with the butterfly in the field. They were sitting leaning on the same tree as on that night when he’d sought her out, and she wished their arms were touching. “Just because I’m closer to the blood flowing in your veins doesn’t mean I have to lose control, unless I am very hungry. And even then… I never lose control.”

 

“Alright,” she said and closed her eyes, fear and excitement intertwining in her stomach. “Let’s test your theory.”

 

When she opened her eyes again, she could see nothing but the redness of his eyes. It was the first time she’d noticed that the red was just the outer ring; instead, his eyes were mostly brown.

 

She feared the red, but the brown, oh the brown…

 

“Aren’t you scared?” he’d whispered back then, his cold hands settling on her knees. She’d used to hate the coldness, too.

 

She could do nothing but breathe, “It’s beautiful.”

 

The fact was, they never taught them this at school. That vampires were not machines made just for killing. That their eyes were not always entirely red. That they could be kind and…

 

She loved him. With her whole being, she loved Yifan.

 

Chen was right - she really had been out of her mind when she’d tried to kiss him. It felt like a lifetime ago, that bedroom and that woman dreaming of having children with a human and running away from their curses.

 

“Do you have children?” she asked, pouting underneath the umbrella which Kris was holding way too high above her head as they walked through the woods.

 

Kris laughed, seemingly taken aback by the question. She often surprised him with strange requests such as wishing to see his bat form or touching some of his scars. “What? No, of course not. Vampires can’t have children, remember?”

 

Then he stopped for a second. “Oh, you mean if I have an adopted child… No. It’s kind of a taboo amongst vampires, kidnapping infants. We might be seen as sinister, but there are boundaries which we do not cross, and laws we abide by. Only messed-up couples would steal a child from their parents. It’s disgusting.”

 

Another question popped up in her mind, and she was suddenly embarrassed. She knew the situation would become awkward if she asked what she wanted to, but her curiosity got the best of her. She always felt comfortable around Kris, so she knew she could ask him this.

 

“And, uhm…” She looked down, as if it was the middle of the day and he could see her face. “Can you have children? Like in Twilight? If you were with a human woman… you know…”

 

They stopped walking.

 

Then rain was falling onto her, because Kris had moved away from her with the umbrella.

 

The rumble of laughter coming from his chest made her smile, too.

 

I love you, she tried to say. No matter what happens. I love you.

 

But she could not say anything. There was no more air in her lungs, and her heart gave out.

 

Little one… I’m here.

 

There was no lullaby to help her fall asleep this time.

 

Just nothingness, as the fire consumed her and made her burn out.

 

Nothing.

 

Emptiness.

 

She was floating in it, without pain, without any thoughts, without feeling. Was she going to stay here forever? Was her soul so tainted that it did not even deserve a verdict? She’d expected to be thrown into hell to pay for her sins, to pay for letting the allies die, for letting Tao die…

 

Then, as if invited, the fire appeared. It burned her suddenly, strongly and completely, and she could not run away from it.

 

She could do nothing but scream.

 

“Shshhh.”

 

“It’s okay, my love.”

 

What?

 

She knew that voice… she could recognize it everywhere.

 

But how was he here? And where was it, even?

 

The fire disappeared, leaving only tingles on her skin. She felt that she had one, and her stomach sunk - this meant that…

 

“Can you open your eyes?” he hummed, and she felt a warm sensation on her face. “Come on, I am here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

 

She listened to him instinctively, and though she did not understand how or why, she managed to open her eyes. It hurt, as if her eyes had not been used for a long time, and she once again remembered that…

 

“Shshhh,” he whispered again, as she looked at him for the first time. He was beautiful, and his eyes were almost entirely brown. They were warm and happy as they looked into her own, and she wondered what he could see.

 

She realized that the warm sensation on her face came from his hand on her cheek. But his hand was cold; how could it…

 

“Kris,” she whispered. It was a plead, an apology, a question, an exclamation.

 

He shook his head. Then his mouth turned up in a smile, and she could see his retracted fangs. For some reason, she thought they looked beautiful - everything about this man whom she’d buried so long ago was unreal and made her feel giddy.

 

If this was a dream, she wanted to stay in it forever.

 

“Don’t try to talk. The antidote, it’s still… It’s still fighting off the venom. I can still sense that a part of you is vampiric.”

 

She did not understand what he meant. What antidote? And what did he mean by, a part of you is vampiric? Wasn’t all of her vampiric?

 

He grinned at her, and kissed her cheek. She realized that the heat was not coming off him, but that it was…

 

“Close your eyes, little one, and empty your mind. Can you hear it in your ears?”

 

She did as he told her. And then she realised that she was breathing, and that she was warm, and that…

 

Her heart was beating.

 

She gasped, making him say, “Shshhh” again, which in turn made her open her eyes again.

 

They were both alive.

 

Kris was alive, and she was not a vampire. And everything was over.

 

Was it, though? Or was this just a temporary win? Would she come back to destroy their lives further? And they had lost Tao…

 

“I know you have a lot of questions, but you are still too weak to talk,” Kris said, waving his fingers through her hair. She did not care where they were and did not take a single look at her surroundings. Instead, she just watched him, she watched his mouth move as he spoke, and his eyes grow smaller as he smiled, and his facial muscles move as he made a grimace.

 

He was alive.

 

“Kris…” she tried again. “What…” She felt as if she didn’t have enough strength to talk, but apart from that, there was something else making constricted.

 

“Don’t try to talk, little one,” he said again, this time putting a small, shy kiss on her forehead. She felt as if everything was the same as ten years ago, but also as if everything was somehow different. She felt… happy.

 

Kris grinned at her again. “It’s… the bond. I can feel you’re confused. I still don’t quite understand how it works, but I think we will find our way around it.”

 

The bond? But wasn’t bond something that only existed amongst vampires?

 

She thought about it. But humans were prone to vampiric magic, and, if she put it that way, vampire blood affected humans in a special way too - a way that led to their death or poisoning, but nevertheless.

 

But how on earth did they form a bond? And how was she even alive?

 

“Hey,” he said, his hand on her cheek again, making goosebumps appear on her neck, “Don’t think about anything right now. Everything’s alright. We’re alright.”

 

She felt as if things were too good to be true, though Yifan was obviously doing his best to make it seem as if this was true. Suspicious of his positive mood, she finally took a look at her surroundings, expecting a hospital or an underground bunker.

 

There was light in the room. Sun was coming through the holes in the blinds of several windows.

 

It was daytime. And a vampire was sitting next to her in that room as if everything in the world was alright and there was no threat in the form of sunlight there to incinerate him at the first touch.

 

Something was definitely not alright.

 

His head turned towards the patches of light on the wall she was staring at in horror. He chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry about that,” he said through another smile, turning back to watch her with his warm eyes again. They were definitely rimmed with red, so he hadn’t magically turned into a human either. “I just thought you’d want to see the sunlight when you woke up. It doesn’t bother me. I just avoid it if I need to… Though I mostly don’t. I just sleep next to you.”

 

Sleep next to her? It sounded as if this was something out of his schedule book. How long has she been out? Had she been in a coma or something?

 

“Ah, just stop thinking about everything,” he said, rolling his eyes at her furrowed eyebrows. “I’ll explain everything when you get better. You’re worse than Jongdae sometimes, I swear-”

 

Jongdae.

 

Lamiya gasped.

 

She remembered…

 

“For you,” he said fiercely as he pushed the silver stake deeper into her chest, “It ends right here.”

 

Barbara stopped screaming. Lamiya knew that it was over. Now, it was finally over.

 

The constricting feeling on disappeared, leaving her breathless, gasping for air on the ground. She heard Kris shreak uncharacteristically. “Oh no! Little one, are you alright?”

 

She tried to look up at him, to see whether this was some kind of act or he was normal again, but her eyesight was blurry. She just saw the silhouette of a man who’d just had his hands wrapped around .

 

Kris had punched her. Multiple times.

 

“She…” She heard him fumble for words as his arms came around her. “When Tao…” He tried again for the third time. “Without any of my allies there to protect me, she could bring my defenses down and cast her magic. She’d tried for years, but at the beginning all she could do was make me sleep for long periods of time and drug me temporarily. Now, though…”

 

He trailed off while she kept gasping for air. The feeling of being closed had subsided; this was something entirely else.

 

“I can’t…” she breathed. “I can’t see… Air…”

 

“Oh no,” she heard another familiar voice say. “It’s beginning.”

 

“I’m afraid so, Jongdae,” Kris answered in a robotic voice devoid of any emotion. “There is nothing we can do now.”

 

She wanted to scream at them to kill her, to end this before it began, before she killed someone and became one of the unholy creatures she’d spent her life fighting.

 

A part of her, though… It wondered whether she was making the right decision. This way, she could stay with him forever. And since it had already happened, it seemed like the decision was already made for her - she wouldn’t have to kill humans to feed, she would find some other way…

 

“I must disagree, my king. There actually is a way to reverse this. But we don’t have time.”

 

“What do you mean? By the looks of it, she has another couple of minutes before her heart stops beating. What could we possibly do in that timespan?”

 

Chen actually sounded excited, as if she wasn’t writhing on the floor and gasping for air. “My king, as you know, I am a descendant of a family of vampire hunters.”

 

She wondered what it had to do with anything. She’d thought Chen was scheming with Barbara against her… She’d thought Kris would want her to become a vampire. How many more of her beliefs would prove to be entirely wrong?

 

How many more people would have to die in order to protect her just for it to prove as futile in the end?

 

“Yes, I have known that since the very beginning, yet I still accepted you in my ranks. I have never regretted that decision, Kim Jongdae.” Kris’ voice seemed far away, as if he was moving away from her. She kept feeling more nauseous, and though she blinked multiple times, the darkness in front of her kept growing bigger and bigger.

 

It was the poison, working its way through her body, beginning the irreversible process of turning her into a vampire. She’d read so many descriptions of the whole process back at school, yet somehow she couldn’t remember anything that would help her as it happened to her.

 

“I have found an ancient text that claims that the blood of a vampire hunter repels the vampire venom. I have tested it several times, and…” Lamiya remembered how awful he looked, how he hid his arms, and how he eventually revealed that he was giving her his own blood, “It worked.”

 

“Are you implying that she should drink your blood again?” Kris’ tone was skeptical, if even a little arrogant. “But a mouthful would not make a change - to fight off this amount of venom, rapidly spreading through her veins, she would need a lot more-”

 

Kris suddenly paused, as if he realised something. “Oh.”

 

“Exactly,” Dae answered.

 

“But you will die,” Kris said matter-of-factly.

 

“I will,” Dae answered in an equally bland voice.

 

And then she realized what they wanted her to do.

 

They wanted her to bite Jongdae, like a vampire would, and drink his blood. All of his blood.

 

This would act as an antidote to the vampire venom and reverse the whole process.

 

They wanted her to kill Jongdae.