a/n: Consequences by Camila Cabello

...

Sana woke up earlier than she probably ever has. 

To tell the truth, sleeping became harder in the past few months. The japanese girl wanted to believe it was only because of her excrutiating headaches from her constant hangovers, but something within her knew it was because she missed a certain korean girl. 

Sana looked at Dahyun with such a careful eye, afraid she might just somehow disappear. The younger girl was still wrapped up under her arms, the older wouldn't have it any other way. The position was the most comfortable she has ever been in the past few years. Just simply being in a position like this with her room mate was enough to make her entire being feel at ease. As much as she wanted to only focus on the way Dahyun breathed lightly, or how she ocassionally mumbled cutely in her sleep, Sana had other thoughts overwhelming her. 

Today was the day she'd take a giant leap of faith and place her trust on Dahyun. 

Sana was tired of having to live behind barriers since even before recent events, it just didn't prompt her to change any time soon. However, the need to change came to her abruptly in the form of Kim Dahyun. Sana wanted to change for the better, in order to fully be there for the girl. She desired to be able to come home from a tiring lecture, and let herself fall in Dahyun's embrace, or the other way around. 

It had been years since it happened, since the worst periods of her life. Sana figures enough time has passed for her to get back up and grow as a person. The ones who ruined her trust in the first place are most likely living freely, why can't her? Although she had made the decision, it didn't make her feel any less nervous. Most of her knew Dahyun would only make her feel comfortable, and would probably would like it better if she didn't push herself to do it, but the older knows she has to. It was time. 

Sana was so deep into thought that she hadn't notice Dahyun shift closer and squeeze her body tighter. 

"Are you okay? You seem on edge," the half asleep girl mumbled. Sana tried hard not to overthink about how cute Dahyun's morning voice sounded.

"Yes, I am. I was just... thinking."

Dahyun hummed, not wanting to intrude on the older's thoughts. "I think I might need for you to cuddle me to sleep every night now."

Sana chuckled lightly. "Oh really? Why?"

"Oh you know, who knows when my phobia might act up again? I need you here, just in case," Dahyun giggled quietly. 

Sana shook her head a bit, she really missed this girl. She wondered why she had ever decided not to come back in the first place. Her own trust issues had kept her away from what might just be the greatest thing in her life at the moment. She knew the younger was only joking, but when she recalled the events of her panic attack that she had witnessed, a pit grew in her stomach. Sana never wanted the girl to have to go through something of the sort ever again. She was willing to stay by the younger's side.  

"Something can be arranged."

Dahyun looked up at her and smiled. Sana also smiled, the girl had adorable tussled hair that only added to her morning cuteness. 

"Dahyun-ah, I want you to finally get to know me today. And not just what you know from Momo or Mina, but why I ended up being the way I am."

Dahyun's smile faltered a bit, "Are you sure? You don't have to. I know it must be hard for you, I don't want you to be uncomforta-"

"Dahyunnie, I have to tell you. If I don't I'll never get over it. Plus, I know I can trust you," Sana said softly, cutting off the pale girl before she began rambling. 

The younger girl smiled sweetly, "Should we talk over breakfast, then?"

Sana smiled back, "Of course, my treat. You deserve it."

"Woah, is this a date I smell? Miss Minatozaki just because we're in bed together it doesn't mean I'm easy," Dahyun teased. 

The japanese girl laughed, shaking her head at the younger's comment. "It can be a date if you want it to be, sweetness."

Dahyun's teasing smile faltered as she blushed at both what she said and the nickname on top of it. Sana cooed as she slightly pinched the girl's blushing cheeks. Dahyun whined and dug her face deeper into the crook of Sana's neck, not letting the older be able to see her now pinkish face. Sana chuckled at her actions. 

"Let's go for breakfast a bit later, yeah? I want to stay like this with you," Sana whispered. 

Although it took a few seconds for the younger to respond, Sana soon felt her head nod slightly. Sana chuckled some more. The older made herself more comfortable as she snuggled closer to Dahyun's smaller body. She was sure this was some kind of heaven. She once thought that waking up to Dahyun's face in the morning would be the best thing to wake up to, however waking up cuddled up to her had now taken that spot.  

Both girls remained in eachother's embrace blissfully, enjoying the time together. 

...

Sana and Dahyun sat in comfortable silence across from eachother after ordering their food. 

Sana could take her sweet time staring at the girl, but she wanted to rip off the bandaid as quickly as she could. She cleared , suddenly feeling a bit under pressure under the younger's eyes. 

"Okay, well I, I guess I should-" Sana's nerves were made obvious by her stuttering. Dahyun reached over across the table, placing her hand on top of Sana's own shaky one. The older coudn't contain her smile once the girl began to lightly caress her hand with her thumb. Immediately, the initially panicked girl was comforted. 

She cleared once again. 

"It started maybe around the beginning of high school, I was pretty naive back then. Back then, Momo and Mina weren't my only friends, in fact I had a whole group of them. Then, well I uh, I fell in love." Sana gulped, trying her best not to get overwhelmed over thinking about the times. Dahyun nodded and smiled encouragingly. 

"She was my first and only love. The thing is, we had to be a secret. My parents were homophobic, and they were already on bad terms with me- well, I'll talk about that later." Dahyun nodded once again.

"I was really happy with her, so naturally I wanted to tell the world. I figured, maybe I should tell my 'close' friends about it, right? Well, I told Mina and Momo first, they obviously loved me and accepted me. Then, I told one girl I thought I could really trust," Sana stopped mid sentence to let out a bitter chuckle. 

"I told her, and I assumed she was fine with it. Then the next day, I walk into school and suddenly everyone is looking at me weird. I thought something was off, but I ignored it. Then I go to where I always meet up with my friends, and they all suddenly look at me like I'm some freak and leave." She takes in a deep breath. 

"I'm left there confused, and go to Momo and Mina. Then, Mina pulls out her phone and tells me about this post the girl I told posted. Basically, she decided to broadcast it to the entire school that I was some dirty lesbian freak. And maybe, no one would've cared if I was a nobody, but I was popular." Dahyun held in her breath as she was growing angrier by the second. 

"The news reached everyone. And holy , it was hell. Everyday, I'd get called names by random kids I didn't even know. It was worse from the so called 'friends' I had known since middle school. I'd get bullied, shouted at, isolated, all you can imagine. God, everyday I still thank the universe that Mina and Momo somehow stuck by my side even through those times. Once, a boy went up to them and said 'I bet both of you are dykes just like Sana', and they looked him in the eyes and said, "And what about it?"

Sana stopped a bit to let herself giggle at one of the few good memories she had during those times. The giggle made Dahyun smile, also thanking the universe that Momo and Mina had been by Sana's side. 

"Then, the news somehow got to my parents. Mina says it must've been those girls. Either way, one day I get home and get greeted by loud yells and curses," Sana's frown returned, same with Dahyun. 

"My parents and I already had a rocky enough relationship as it is, and the fact that I'm gay made it even worse. During my childhood they were fine and everything, but it seemed like the older I grew, the less they loved me. I think, maybe, they forced themselves to let me in their lives. So already with all that, when I came home we yelled at eachother for so long, my dad calling me every slur in the book, while my mom was sobbing in the corner, wondering where she went wrong with me," Sana once again, chuckled bitterly. 

"At one point, I snapped. So my dad slapped me. I expected that kind of thing from him, what I didn't expect was my mom not defending me. I always thought that she might have some love for me. And I ran, ran wherever I could. I just wanted to be away. Somehow I ended up near Mina's place, she caught me before I could do anything stupid. That night, as Mina took care of me, I drank all the pain away. Took her mom's vodka, she let me since she figured I needed it, I guess that's how my drinking began. Mina's mom always did love me, so she offered me to stay and live with them. The next day I picked up all my stuff from my house when my parents were out working, and didn't see them since," Sana said simply, while Dahyun was fuming at the thought that her parents had done such a thing to their own daughter. 

"And yeah, school was ing hell and my parents were both good for nothing, but I still thought, 'Well atleast I still have the woman I love'," Sana looked at her drink, thinking back to the times of her first and only girlfriend. 

"Since she was a bit older, she wasn't in high school when everything happened. She had no idea, and I didn't want to tell her. She already didn't have enough time for me as it is because of college, so I felt a bit alone," Sana bit her lip. 

"One day, she asks me to go see her. I was so damn happy, I thought I might be finally getting something that wouldn't want to make me go somewhere and cry for the rest of my life. But holy , was I wrong." Dahyun looked at her anxiously, how could it possibly get any worse?

"She sits me down, with a frown. She looks me in the eyes and says, 'Sana, we have to break up'," Sana mumbled with a bitter, sad smile. 

"She tells me that she met someone else, and being with me just no longer felt right. I was already ed up because of everything else, and in my mind I said, 'She cheated on me'. I snapped a bit, and just got up and left. I didn't want to look at her again."

At this point, Sana was getting teary eyed over recalling all the events she had desperately wanted to forget. However, in order to forget, Sana knew she had to let go. All her barriers did was remind her, and isolate her. She finally got Mina and Momo's point after all these years. The older had unknowingly incased herself, not letting herself breathe. Now that she was releasing herself from her own isolation, she was desperately gasping for air.

Dahyun still caressed her hand with her thumb, frowning at the girl across with a worried expression. She knew something bad must've happened to Sana, but she didn't know it would be this bad. No wonder she was the way she was, in a span of maybe a year, everything around her crumbled. The younger wanted to go back and fight everyone who had done her room mate wrong. Her room mate, who fell in love and all it did was ruin the early years of her life. 

Sana looked up into Dahyun's eyes, taking a deep breath. "Well, yeah. That's why I'm the way I am."

Dahyun looked at her and hated seeing the pain in the japanese girl's eyes. Had it not been for the fact that they where in the middle of a restaraunt, she would've tackled Sana into a hug and made sure she knew she deserved all the love in the world. 

"Sana, please don't be afraid to let others in your life anymore. There's good people out there, you shouldn't miss the chance of having them in your life."

Sana smiled at the younger fondly. "I've already met someone, maybe the best person out there. I wouldn't miss her for the world."

Dahyun looked at her with a puzzled expression, then realized she was indeed talking about her. She gulped as she began blushing. Ever since Sana decided to open up once again, she had been a lot more...forward. Dahyun would be lying if she said she minded. 

"Then, I hope you know that girl wouldn't miss you for the world either. And she'll be there for you, always," Dahyun said sheepishly. 

Sana chuckled at the younger and how she was a flustered mess, the whole image was very adorable to Sana. It was very unknown to her as to how Dahyun managed to cheer her up so quickly after having to remember the most awful point in her life. Just maybe, Sana could no longer say she has fallen in love just once anymore. It was a bit quick, and very frightening for her, but just one look at Dahyun's smile and she was prepared for the worst. She trusted Dahyun, and she knew she was placing herself in good hands. 

"Dahyunnie, thank you. For everything. For making me feel safe, for allowing me to learn how to trust again," Sana smiled genuinely. 

Dahyun let out a wide grin, remaining silent. 

The waitress soon came with their plates, and the two girls hurriedly removed their held hands from the the middle of the table, a bit embarassed. 

They both looked at eachother, smiling, and began eating. They immersed in comfortable conversation. Dahyun still took the reigns considering Sana was barely letting herself be more open, however Sana let herself talk more about her own life. Although Dahyun already liked the mysterious and guarded Sana, she was excited to see the more free and happy Sana. She smiled at the thought that maybe some old personality traits Sana had to bury for the sake of protecting herself would emerge now that she was free to do so. Either way, Dahyun was sure she would come to like every inch of her even more. 

...

The two room mates had finished their breakfast, and were now walking through a nearby park. 

Dahyun fiddled with her fingers in happiness, she enjoyed Sana's company alot. This day was probably the most time she had ever spent with the older girl, but she already longed to have her for longer periods of time. 

She still felt some sort of resentment towards those who did wrong to Sana, and she hated that they were the reason her room mate had shut herself out from the rest of the world. Despite that, Dahyun couldn't help but relate to the older's past. From the school troubles to the issues with parents. Hearing Sana say it all out loud reminded her of her own past, and how she had to bury it in all deep with her own faux optimism. She couldn't help but compare how Sana chose to deal with her own hurt using isolation, while she herself dealt with it in the opposite way. Dahyun wishes Sana didn't have to deal with all the unecessary pain. Without knowing, she had begun frowning and stopped walking. 

Not feeling the younger girl's warmth near her, Sana turned with a curious face. Looking at Dahyun's slight frown, she furrowed her eyebrows. She took a few steps to where Dahyun had stopped. "Is something wrong Dahyun-ah?"

The pale girl was brought out of her thoughts and she stared at Sana's worried face. "Can we sit? I wanna tell you my past too, it's only fair."

Sana bit her lip, "Dahyun, I don't expect you to tell me things about yourself because you feel forced to."

Dahyun shook her head cutely, "No, I want to tell you."

A grin spread on Sana's face, as she took Dahyun's hand and led her to a nearby bench. As they both sat within close proximity, Sana couldn't help but remember the night before and how she witnessed Dahyun's panic attack. Just thinking about it made her heart drop, she never wanted to see the usually cheerful girl in such a state ever again.

"Alright Dahyunnie, I'm all ears," Sana said softly. 

Dahyun gulped a bit. She was a bit nervous. It's not that she didn't trust others with her past, no it was more so that Dahyun hated to remember it. She only ever once spoke about her feelings growing up to one person, and that was Chaeyoung. Dahyun didn't like thinking negatively, she didn't find it worth her energy to think about the darker side of things life had to offer. She'd much rather turn a blind eye to most of her unfortunate upbringings and look forward to brighter futures. 

"Ever since I could remember, I was scared of the dark. My mother thinks It's because I was left in the dark for a while when I was a baby and it scared me. My parents took care of me well when I was young, they bought me a night light and everything. But as I grew older, I was still scared of the dark. My parents thought I was ridiculous, I was already in middle school. So they took away my night light and forced me to sleep in the dark. It was horrible. Most of the time I had panic attacks."

Sana frowned immediately. Why did both of their parents had to be dickheads in one way or another? 

"In school, people found out I was scared of the dark. Because of that I got called names and stuff, and people would shove me and closets and leave me there without turning the light on," Dahyun bitterly smiled, recalling her life before she had met her best friend. A time she would much rather forget and bury forever. 

"Did your parents not do anything about it?"

Dahyun shook her head. "No, never. They'd scold me, actually. Tell me things like 'I should grow up already', or that 'I'll never be able to fend for myself'."

The older girl sighed, no wonder the younger girl had been so nervous about telling her about her phobia when they met for the second time. 

"I never really had friends, and it's not like I was able to talk freely with my parents. They thought I was weak, that I wouldn't be able to go far. They always did love my brother more," Dahyun bit her lip in efforts to hold back any slight tears from building up in her eyes.

Sana caught on to Dahyun's more sadder tone, and reached out to hold her hand just as the younger did to her earlier in order to comfort her. Feeling the new warmth from her room mate's hand, Dahyun looked up and smiled lightly. 

"I felt pretty lonely. I had no one to talk to most of the time, but I hated the idea of being sad all the time. So that's where my optimism and cheeriness was born. I tried to cope with everything by just, pretending to be happy I guess." Dahyun took a pause. 

"But , did it , " She chuckled. "Sometimes I just wanted to yell out in anger, I wanted to cry infront of people, I wanted to just show some other feeling that wasn't happiness. I felt like some machine. But I thought, well it's better to be fake happy than anything else." The korean girl sighed, then she suddenly perked up. 

"But then I met Chaeyoung! One night I couldn't take it anymore and ran. I didn't see where I was going, and ended up at some dark park. She was coming back from a convenience store when she saw me, all huddled up and a crying mess. She panicked and took me to her house, which was so weird since I was a stranger. I told her I was scared of the dark, she said 'Well that's better than you being a serial killer'." Dahyun laughed at the memory. 

"She didn't make fun of me for it. We spent the night talking about ourselves in her room. We found out we went to the same highschools, we just didn't know about eachother since we were different ages. Chaeyoung made everything better, she's way more stronger than me in multiple ways. She stood up for me against people who teased me, and she was always there for me when it all just got too much. For my birthday, she bought me a nightlight. I snuck it in to my room and used it without my parents knowing. I owe so much to her," The younger girl smiled wistfully, feeling a sensation of gratitude towards everything her best friend had done for her. 

Sana smiled as she listened to the girl. She was more than glad that Dahyun ended up meeting someone that made her life feel a lot less like hell. Sana believed what Chaeyoung was to Dahyun was in some way parallel to what Mina and Momo were to her. She smiled at the thought. Both groups of friends really were such good people. 

"Dahyun-ah, you are so much stronger than you know. I don't want you to feel like you have to always be happy around me, I want you to be able to come to me in moments of sadness or anger. I'm not planning on leaving any soon," Sana grinned. 

"Good, 'cause I wasn't planning on letting you leave again," Dahyun pouted, to which Sana laughed fondly. 

"Have I ever told you how cute you are, Dahyunnie?"

The younger girl blushed, "Why are you alot more flirty now?"

Sana laughed, "You don't like it?"

Dahyun shifted gaze back down to their hands that were still clasped together. "I never said that."

The older girl smiled fondly at the younger, once again feeling at ease with the girl. Sana had barely started this new chapter in her life were she would let herself breathe, and she already feels ten times lighter than she ever has. Dahyun tended to make every decision feel alot less intimidating. If anything, Sana was more than prepared to finally let her guards down. Although it would only be easy to do with Dahyun than with others, Sana was ready to try harder. She was willing to go through the unknown as long as she was holding the korean girl's hand, and she knows she would never think about letting go. 

...

Mina tossed and turned in her bed. 

She was having trouble falling asleep. It wasn't due to the disappearance of Sana, Dahyun had messaged her earlier that she was back and safe, much to the older girl's relief. If anything, it was because of her own guilt. 

Guilt that stemmed from a secret she didn't know would end up becoming something more. Something that might just ruin everything.

Due to all these thoughts, Mina has been having trouble doing everyday things as she regurarly does. For the first time in years, Mina had kept a secret from Momo and Sana. The very idea bothered her to the core. If there was anything that drove her off edge it was hiding things from her best friends. She knew better than to confess now, not when Sana barely came back and is freshly trying to get over her trust issues. All the truth would do is make Sana take steps back. That was the last thing Mina wanted. 

She sighed outloud, frustrated with herself. 

"Mina? Are you okay? It's really late," Momo's drowsy voice was heard from across the room. 

Mina hummed, "I'm okay, Momoring. Go back to sleep."

For a moment, Mina believed the older girl was going to protest, but fatigue had took over and she was soon back to sleeping. 

The younger girl sighed once again. Both her and Momo were extra tired due to the whole issue with Sana, it had wore them out both emotionally and physically. They didn't sleep at all the night before. Their minds weren't at ease until Dahyun had texted them. 

Mina was at a loss. Despite everything, she tried to sleep once again. She had to come out front be honest soon, or else it would be too late. She just hoped that whenever she did decide to finally tell the truth, it wouldn't cause too much trouble. 

Mina prayed to whatever god that was listening as she let sleep finally take over. 

...

a/n: WHEW ladies hello!! i wonder what mina's secret is??? ;)) 

If any of you would like to know my twt is @chaedahyuns

have a good day everyone! :)