Explanations, whoooo! Also, I was so slow when it came to this chapter, I'm sorry. I finally had some time off and I really ended up using it to relax and to take care of my mother instead of writing it.

And when I did have the draft ready, it took me forever to actually work on it, so... There are no excuses. I was just going through some mental relaxation. And now i finally picked myself up and here I am!

Enjoy!

No one would ever believe Ryeowook, if he told them when and where did he actually meet Kyuhyun for the first time. They probably automatically assumed it was when he transferred to their school, but that wasn't quite true. And it wasn't like anyone ever even asked, he would be completely honest about it if they did, but no one really bothered with the details. However, if they did ask, they asked all the wrong questions.

"Why do you go here anyway?" 

Kyuhyun's question, on the other hand, had been a spot on. Ryeowook couldn't chase it from his mind; it was too troubling to be forgotten. "Because of you," was what he had wanted to answer. "Because I saw you."

And it was true.

It happened when Ryeowook was just a second year high school student, and he still lived in the smaller suburban area near Seoul. The part of the city he lived in had all their junior highs and high schools crammed together because of the city's money saving plans, so there was little to no space left for any of them.

You'd get left behind in class if you didn't teach yourself the parts you didn't understand, so in the best case scenario, it helped them grow a lot more independent than some other schools did. But it was okay. At least the school festivals were always fun and full of life.

Too bad Ryeowook lost all his friends before his second year started, so he didn't really get to enjoy them properly. It was all for silly reasons, too, mostly for his uality but also because the people in the middle of these two sides started to feel exhausted of all the tension, so Ryeowook just simply cut them all out of his life, for their own good. 

It was the consequences of that that made it all happen, starting his ill fate with Kyuhyun. It was all the same. Right from the beginning, as if they were never even meant to be. Always so close, but always so far.

And all that because he was starting to get isolated from the incredibly large mass of students in his school, which caused him to lose motivation in everything, even the only subject he was actually really good at: math.

See, that was probably the part that would make everyone doubt his story. It was the fact that Ryeowook was actually good at math, a prodigy almost but not quite anyway. It just came easy for him. No one would ever believe him though, but it was true. He was one of his old school's best students in math. Not the best, but in the top three or so if he was being quite frank about it.

He even participated in a nationwide math competition between the schools of Korea last year with his friends, and their team barely lost and got third place because of a couple careless mistakes. Ryeowook wasn't that bothered by their loss, but he skipped the next year's elimination rounds anyway, really not feeling like participating again. He had no reason to do it anymore after all.

But it was when he was sitting in the audience of that year's competition, watching the match between his school and another, that he first set his eyes on Kyuhyun. It was then, that he started regretting his decision to not to join. Kyuhyun was part of the team from the first school they were competing against in order to see which school would advance further.

And he was wonderful. Tall. Serious. Kind. Well, sort of at least. Dressed in a fancy team uniform that their team lacked. Heck, Ryeowook's school wouldn't even offer free snacks if they won. It was all about the exposure of their school that they were after, and recognition from their teachers. Or, in some cases, even scholarships. 

This whole mess really started when Ryeowook first saw him smile though. Kyuhyun, in front of the whole audience, smiled. He had looked cocky before, obviously trusting his skills, but when he saw the effort Ryeowook's school's team put against theirs, he had smiled, encouraging them to continue even if it was clear as day that they were about to lose.

Ryeowook didn't know why it struck him so hard. It was like magic. But he couldn't forget it. Even after the contest ended and everyone went back home, he still replayed the smile in his mind. It was like a nice daydream that got him doodling on the corners of his notebooks, and got him waiting for the next year, wishing for the time to pass faster so that he could possibly see him again.

It was what kept him going, when felt like he'd rather quit; Kyuhyun became his source of motivation. 

Next year, after a long struggle to keep himself going, the competition finally came to be again, and Ryeowook tried his hardest to get in the team when the elimination tests started. He didn't even consider being left out of the team - all he cared about was that he'd see him again.

Cho Kyuhyun.

He wanted to battle against him, to test how far did his knowledge go, and how far could he take it before he himself would raise his hands in surrender. It was an impossible dream to accomplish during the competition, but Ryeowook wanted to win just to get himself noted. 

And he did it. He got in the team.

They won all the battles in their school against all the other grades, and then it was time for the battles against other schools to begin. The order didn't go the same way this time, and it wasn't till they proceeded to the finals that they battled against Kyuhyun's school again. 

But he wasn't there. 

Ryeowook's team secured the win, but none of that mattered to him. He had waited for Kyuhyun, wanting to meet him because he was the thing that kept him going, the hope that got him up again and again.

So it was no surprise that Ryeowook was really disappointed when he wasn't there, and he wasn't used to that kind of a feeling. He had never been in love before, so he didn't know what to expect. He didn't believe in love at first sight either, but Kyuhyun had given him more than he could ask for by just existing. 

And because of that, once he got offered a scholarship to the school of his choice, he didn't hesitate. There was nothing to stop him from doing it, no ties other than his parents, who wouldn't hold him back. 

He could start anew. 

And he took the chance. He transferred. He got out of the place that made him feel nothing more than lonely and abandoned, and decided to start his life over. But that wasn't what really happened.

Nothing changed, it only became worse if anything, just because he had been careless for a second. At first he had been so happy. He saw Kyuhyun more often now, even if they were in different grades.

He learned a lot more about the younger boy, too. Like that Kyuhyun hung out with his friends a lot when they had a free period, and he helped other students with math in exchange of study points. It was admirable, and Kyuhyun truly seemed like a nice person, but Ryeowook never approached him.

He didn't feel like he would fit in his company, and he sure as hell didn't want to bother his savior. He didn't even need to, he felt happy enough with seeing him from the distance every now and then. He never intended to confess to Kyuhyun either, or even say how much he meant for him, all because he was too scared it would end up like it did in his old school; with him being isolated from everyone.

So Ryeowook just distracted himself by getting busy and studying hard, even though he soon noticed that things worked differently in that school. He had more time to space off and scribble Kyuhyun's name all over his notebooks again.

Yeah, he never intended to actually confess. But then one time when he was being pushed around in his group project, forced to do all the work while the rest just ignored their responsibilities as usual, he just... lost it.

He had spent all his time after school working on it for hours and hours at a time, but he had barely made any progress. He wanted to cry. He had spent all his energy on it, but even if he worked so hard, it was all too much for one person. He was starting to lose his hope again, he felt so desperate.

So he did cry. He cried and complained to himself about how his team , how much work he's put in it but no one would ever even notice his efforts, and how stupid he felt for even trying. That it was just all too much, he couldn't do this anymore. Why did he come there? Why did he try? Who did he think he was? Superman?

"What are you mumbling about?" 

Ryeowook screamed when a figure emerged next to him out of nowhere, his bag in his hands.

"Thief!" 

His shrill shriek echoed in the hallways of the half empty school, and the stranger blocked his ears at the same exact moment Ryeowook finally recognized him. 

"I'm not a thief," Kyuhyun said with a frown.

Ryeowook didn't hear him though, he forgot how to function once he realized it was Kyuhyun in front of him, eyes wide as saucers. He couldn't believe his luck, out of all the people in this school, it was Kyuhyun he got to meet all of a sudden like this.

He wasn't exactly sure if it was a good thing since he was currently crying his eyes out, but just seeing him there made it feel like he suddenly had the strength to go through this day even with all the difficulties he was currently facing.

All because he saw Kyuhyun's face. That was all he needed to regain his strength. Amazing.

"Sorry," he said once he realized it had gotten silent, "I kind of... didn't know you were there."

Kyuhyun placed his bag down and stood up, dusting his pants, "I noticed. Well, it's a bit late, so I'm going to go now. I can't risk getting scolded by my mom again. Ciao." 

Ryeowook barely managed an awkward wave in return to Kyuhyun's saluting one, but Kyuhyun didn't even seem to notice, his back already turned to him. After a while of just standing there, Ryeowook let out a deep sigh, his shoulders sagging. 

"What am I going to do with myself..."

"Oh, hey." Ryeowook jumped in shock at the sudden shout. Kyuhyun was standing quite far away already, but he had turned around to say something, it seemed, "Your team sounds like trash, but don't let that get to you. Show them what you're made of."

Even when Kyuhyun finally left, Ryeowook stared at the place he had been standing on for a long time, a soft blush adorning his cheeks. "Show them what you're made of." Grinning, Ryeowook did an embarrassing little battle motion of his own, an old habit of his since he was a child, and yelled, "Show them!" 

It was only after he got home and started on his doomed project that Ryeowook finally realized how deep he had fallen for the boy. Smiling to himself, he drew a couple cherry blossom flowers on his notebook and sighed in bliss, writing the cheering sentence down on paper and then ripping it off and taping it to the wall to keep him going. 

"Show them what you got."

Ryeowook smiled. "I will," he softly promised, and then started working through many nights and days just to get one dang project done while juggling with his other tasks. Whenever he felt like giving up, he looked at that sentence on his wall and immediately gained some more strength to get through it again.

It was a month after finishing his project and secretly stealing glances of Kyuhyun from afar that Ryeowook decided he needed to come clean and confess. It wasn’t planned or anyway romantic. It was just a chance encounter Ryeowook took the full use of.

"Oh... hi."

Ryeowook was surprised to see Kyuhyun sitting inside the school's broadcasting room. He had applied to be the one doing the announcements after he noticed the spot open, mostly because people didn't bother to invade that place and he could be at peace, and he did, in fact, start it couple weeks ago.

He was a bit confused as to why Kyuhyun was there at that time though, since he didn't recall being informed about another student's announcement from the school secretary for that day.

"I'm already done here, so the seat is free," Kyuhyun assured once Ryeowook arrived, quickly gathering his papers. 

Ryeowook panicked, eyes wide but eager at the same time. "N-no, wait.. I.. want to say something..."

Kyuhyun stopped and looked at him. Ryeowook, unsure what to do now that he actually got his attention, wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans.

"Y-you should sit down," he suggested while avoiding his eyes.

Kyuhyun did, getting comfortable on the chair while waiting for him to talk. He didn't have any reason to be nervous after all. And Ryeowook basically lived in that room, so he should've known something was off. He should've realized what Kyuhyun was leaning on before opening his mouth. But he found it hard to even breathe around the other, so how could he possibly see something like that? 

Kyuhyun's eyes stayed on him, expecting. Ryeowook fumbled for words, trying to come up with something eloquent that he would not further embarrass himself with. 

“I love you.”

As unceremoniously as that, he dropped the bomb. He wasn’t sure what to expect after that. Would Kyuhyun laugh at him? Should he play it off like a joke? Should he just pretend he was talking to his hands instead? Or continue with an awkward “-r hair” ending?

But Kyuhyun didn’t really react in any way. His face stayed neutral, and Ryeowook was unable to read his expression. Then the younger just blinked at him, not even a bit interested in what he had just told him. Finally, after what felt like hours, Kyuhyun lifted a brow, “You’re gay?”

Ryeowook blushed and looked down, “W-well, y-yeah, I mean… I like you. I've always admired you, and I just really... You're amazing and I... Well, I like you.”

Kyuhyun nodded to signify he had heard him, and only then did he realize he had to get himself out of this mess. He sighed, dejected, and rubbed his face,

"Well... I think I have to be completely honest with you now... I don’t... I don't like you. I don’t even know you in fact, and I already have someone else I like. And I don’t know, you’re not my type?”

Ryeowook opened his mouth, looking like a fish on dry land as he tried to come up with anything to say. His mind was going hundred miles per hour but he couldn't focus on even one thought. His heart was hammering fast in his chest, he was puzzled, nervous and just too overwhelmed about everything going on right now, so he pretty much screamed the only thing his mind could think of when he looked at Kyuhyun's face.

"I LOVE YOU."

And just like that, it would forever remain as his most embarrassing moment ever. High pitched, trembling voice, and stupid stubbornness that only made him repeat the words like a broken record added to his petite frame and pastel colored jeans - Ryeowook became The Gay.

There were always rumors about people when two males got too close to each other or acted suspiciously, and they could get picked on for that.

But Ryeowook? Oh boy, Ryeowook just came out the most pathetic way – screaming it to the whole school and being rejected at the same time. A gold mine for bullies. He was new there anyway. He had been picked on before, but nothing compared to what followed his confession. 

No one wanted to be his friend. Anyone that was seen with him would be instantly labeled as gay and that was a big no-no. 

But none of that really mattered to him. Ryeowook might have wanted to hide away in shame and wish people wouldn't be so judgemental, but the way Kyuhyun behaved, acting like he wasn't even the least bit phased about his confession, made him wish he was currently six feet under instead of standing there.

“Okay,” was how Kyuhyun reacted to Ryeowook literally screaming that he loved him at his face. Then he left, giving a small sympathetic pat on his shoulder, and muttering a small "see ya." 

He left. After everything, Ryeowook only got a damn 'okay' and a barely-there pat on the back from him.

And then he left.

Ryeowook fell down on his knees on the floor, his trembling legs not enough to carry his weight anymore. He had started crying after a while once it all really started to sink in, and he wasn't sure at what point had he dragged himself to the seat he was supposed to sit at when he first came there.

It was only then that he finally noticed the red light and the button pressed down.

But it was already too late, and Kyuhyun didn't look back on that incident at all even when he found out. He even avoided him when their eyes met in the hallways. He could only avoid him till Ryeowook got him to tutor him though.

Because no matter how much of a douche Kyuhyun seemed to always be to him, and him only, Kyuhyun had been the strength he had needed to pull through the hardships in the past. And now he had to risk his shattered heart just so he could gain some strength to get through this familiar  all over again, and perhaps, if he got lucky, even gain a proper apology.

Pathetic, really. But at least Ryeowook could admit it. 

He sighed. It would've been better if he had never even come to this school. He should've stuck to his old circles and the never ending boredom of his hometown.

There was no one like Kyuhyun back there – all the bad and all the good counted - because none of them were interested in Ryeowook, and none of them even wanted him around. Then again neither did Kyuhyun, but Ryeowook decided to ignore it again. 

But now... He was at a loss. He hadn't even considered the possibility of Kyuhyun dating someone. Over the weekend he had tortured his mind with it, trying to get himself used to the fact that maybe he was taken. And he would have to admit, Kyuhyun really did have a good taste.

Sungmin was a really nice, cute guy any man or woman could fall for by just seeing his energizing, warm smiles. Ryeowook wasn't surprised when he learned Sungmin was actually super popular inside their school, he could really understand why. 

Sungmin was just all that: he was strong, having been the captain of the Taekwondo club from his second year till his graduation, and he was smart, succeeding well in physics. And he was full of charms that could get anyone under their spell.

Anyone but Ryeowook, because despite everything, Sungmin had one big flaw; he was not Kyuhyun.