Leaning my back against the bed, I fold both of my legs and embrace them while placing my head on top of my arms. Silence is the only thing that accompanies me as I look up and take a deep breath. Even the ceiling that's suppose to be in a white color turns to a black one because of the lack of lights. And all my eyes could see is just the darkness, contrary to what's been going on in my mind, because all I could think about is just that one certain someone. The one who always full of colors, full of life that my only goal is to make her always be that way, being the beautiful rainbow all the time. 

I want her to be happy, that's all I need. That's why, when she asked me to let her go, to break free from me, I didn't even stop for a moment to worry about myself, I just did what she wanted to. She wanted us to stay best of friends, I agreed to that. She wanted us to go back to what we were before this thing called love happened, I approved. She wanted me to forget that love between us, I nodded my head at that even though deep down I know that's impossible. But I can pretend it if it's for her sake.      

It all happened too fast, the times when my heart feels her love to me. Lots of things change but many still stay. The same as my tears that are still kept on falling down to the beating of my heart that portrays the emotion in me whenever she's around. Watching the drop of liquid landing on the polaroids spreading on the floor beside me, images of her smiling happily because of me would always remain in the deepest part in my heart, so even when I grow old and forget about everything, my heart would still remember the beautiful curves of her eyes to the cute little nose and lips that are opened wide to form the adorable gummy smile.

Then my eyes catch the body of my phone that peek out from one of the photos. Chuckling in bitterness like I'm mad, the metal thing reminds me of the news that break my already broken heart into other small pieces. Like the flow of the rain outside, my tears are streaming down faster than before, if that even possible.

'She is taken. But not by me.' 

.

"Jennie unnie, are you alright?"

"I'm okay, Rosie. Don't worry." I see Rosé nods her head, although with concern in both of her eyes as she's still looking at Jennie. Chanting in my head that I need to be the strongest person around here, I walk closer toward them as I nod my head at the chipmunk and try to communicate with her silently. The smart lady immediately catches it as she smiles at me and leaves the two of us alone.  

Looking at her in front of me who keeps on fidgeting with her fingers, my gaze immediately turns so soft as I sit beside her. "Don't worry. I'm here, we're all here with you. You're not alone." 

That pair of cat eyes that always succeed in weakening my heart, stares gloomily at me that makes me want to embrace her so badly. "Thank you, so much."

"Don't mention it." And I mean it. No need for her to thank me because I do it willingly, as she never asked me to do it. But I will always protect her, to cheer her up and to put the smile back on her face. Because to keep her safe and happy is my priority, even if it means to sacrifice myself.

Like how I cover up the pain in my heart with goofy grins and silly antics when we're watching the other artists performing on stage. As my eyes catch our fans that are cheering at us, my genuine smile naturally appears as I wave my hand back and forth while telling Jennie who's sitting beside me. The power of our fans reminds me that I need to be even stronger for people that I love so the next hours of the award show feel like a sweet dream as I successfully make the angel smile again. That real smile of her, not that uncomfortable awkward smile.

'I feel like we're slowly but surely going back to the way we were, when we're just best friends. And that's enough, I couldn't ask for more.'

===

She doesn't know how long she's been standing here, outside the cold frame of the wooden door, separating the two of them. Her whole body is shaking when her ears catch the sobs from inside, that she needs to grip hard on the doorknob to keep her weak legs from giving up. She thinks that's all her fault, the one that she loves is hurting because of her. She causes the other's pain that she believes this deadly feeling that's killing her inside can't even compare to how her love one feels right now.

Pressing her hand over her chest, she finally gives up and slides down to sit on the floor with her eyes never leaving the door, as if she's looking at the one inside the room. Her mind keeps on reminding her that the older person is really strong, will eventually get through this and even moving on without her help. But when she hears the sobs getting even louder than before, she starts to break down as well and she leans her forehead on the door, crying her heart out.

'If only you know, my heart is still yours. No one will ever replace you.'

.

"Thank you, so much." 

Words are full of meaning, that they can imply a whole different message. Just like the hidden hint inside of what she just said. 'Thank you' for her is not just a sign of gratitude, it's an expression that conveys an affection underneath it. For her, it's the same as 'love you'. She loves this person so much but the only words that she could say to show her feeling are just 'thank you'. And the soft gaze that she receives just suffocate her even more because she knows, she doesn't even deserve it.

"Look! The fans are