Let Sleeping Dogs Lie
The House PlayYou laid your head on the cool marble counter, feeling the warmth of your coffee cup against your cheek. It was a bright and sunny Saturday morning. As usual, Hongbin was seated before the television accompanied by his favourite cereal. You were still getting rid of the vestigial exhaustion from your bout with the out of season cold you had the week before.
On top of that Wonshik was late.
“Mama, where’s Papa?” Hongbin asked, shuffling quietly into the kitchen as though he read your mind.
You sat up straight and held out your arms for your son. You gathered him onto your legs and played with his unruly bed hair.
“Papa’s on his way. He’s just like you. Loves to sleep in late.” you teased and tickled your son for good measure. You were unsure why Wonshik was late but you only hoped it was for an inane reason like the one you gave.
Ding dong!
Trust your ex-husband to make a fashionable entrance.
“Papa!” Hongbin gaily hollered as he hopped off of your lap and ran to the front door.
“No running.” you called after your son as you followed him. In the meantime, you smoothed your hair and crinkled pyjamas. You could only hope that you did not appear to be as dishevelled as you felt.
By the time you reached the father and son pair, Wonshik was holding a now very cheerful Hongbin. You noticed the older man had only had the time to change into his house slippers.
“Good morning.” you greeted politely. Since the evening you were sick and after having the heart-to-heart with Wonshik, it felt easier to talk to him.
As such, you approached the pair and gave him as much of a hug as you could with Hongbin occupying one of his arms.
Your ex-husband revelled in your initiated contact. Pretending to want to be friends again was certainly one of the better choices he made as of late. He did not hesitate in bringing his arm around your waist in reply.
“Morning.” he grinned down at you. You still looked adorably sleepy. “Sorry I’m late.” he apologized.
You observed his face and noted the dark circles under his brown eyes. If it was possible he seemed even more fatigued than you were.
You waved a hand in front of you, showing you held nothing against him for it. “Did something happen?” you asked conversationally as the three of you moved into the lounge.
“Do you remember that big proposal I told you about?” you vaguely remembered and nodded your head accordingly. “We’re pitching in two weeks. There was a crisis, so I had to go in early this morning.” he explained. It was obvious he was not lying; something you drew great strength from.
You both watched Hongbin play with Wonshik’s shirt for a moment.
“Will you make the deadline?” you asked, sympathizing with his plight. You remembered what he was like when he was under pressure. He was the type that would disappear into his office and not come up for air until he was done. He would forget to eat and if he thought he could do without it; would not sleep either.
“If I forget I’m human for two weeks.” he joked with a quirk of his lips. You were unable to hold back a laugh and Wonshik thought it was the most pleasant sound he heard all week.
“Don’t forget to eat or sleep.” you reminded. No matter what happened with your relationship with him, you could not forgo the part of yourself that still cared for his well-being.
“I’ll try.” For you, he thought. Wonshik revelled in your reminder. It had been so long since he had the chance to hear you nag him like you used to. He could barely believe how much he missed it.
“I’m guessing you have to get back to work?” you deduced, sparing a look at your son. You were sure he was going to be disappointed. Since the separation you noticed how much more he longed to see his father.
Following your gaze, he nodded apologetically.
“Hongbinnie, Papa has to go back to work but I promise we’ll spend lots of time when I’m finished okay?” he bargained with the little boy and upon seeing his son’s downcast face, he produced a white bag from out of seemingly nowhere. “I got this for you.”
Hongbin opened it with a saddened air and when he found the toy he had been asking for, he brightened a minute amount.
“Thank you!” he replied, hugging his father.
Wonshik turned to you, sitting so close to him that he could feel the tips of your hair touch his shirt covered arm.
“I was thinking we could take Hongbin to Jeju Island on vacation once this pitch is over with?” he looked at you with hopeful eyes; a feeling you could not help but share.
“Can we Mama?!” Hongbin exclaimed, back to his usual cheerfulness at the suggestion.
You thought about it. Having Wonshik as a friend rather than a foe had its advantages and you quickly realized that you would be able to give your son every family joy without compromising your fledgling friendship with Wonshik.
“We could go to the beach there?” you suggested and your ex-husband brightened. “You’ll love it there.” you smiled at Hongbin. It reminded you of the vacation you had taken with Wonshik when you were newly married but you trusted that he had the purest intentions with the holiday.
The nostalgia shining in your eyes was exactly what Wonshik was hoping for. Perhaps revisiting a place where the two of you were happily in love would mend some of what had been lost during his infidelity.
“I can’t wait.” Wonshik expressed, standing up from couch with renewed energy. “But I have to get going now.” the man glanced down at his watch regrettably.
You took Hongbin from him and your son sadly tucked his head into the crook of your neck.
“Say bye to Papa?” you encouraged quietly.
“Papa needs a hug to get through work.” Wonshik dramatically added onto your comment and both you and your son chuckled.
Hongbin leaned over to breach the chasm between his parents and hugged his father for all he was worth.
“Thank you. I’ll call you later okay?” Wonshik grinned and ruffled his son’s hair. The younger between them agreed enthusiastically.
“I’m sorry to leave like this.” he apologized to you once more. “Are you feeling better at all?” he asked. For some reason, you were surprised that he remembered you were ill the week before.
“I am. Thank you for asking.” you sent a genuine smile his way and cordially parted ways with promises to contact each other whenever the opportunity arose.
It had been an hour since Wonshik’s visit and you and Hongbin were now cozied into your shared couch, watching re-runs of your son’s favourite cartoons.
Jung Taekwoon calling
A smile immediately showed up on your face as you answered without hesitation.
“How lucky am I to receive a call from you so early on a Saturday morning?” you teased. Interacting with the lawyer seemed to come as easy as breathing over the last few weeks.
You were blessed with his laughter over the phone.
“How lucky am I that you answered?” he countered and you were glad that he would not be able to see you blush. “Are you busy today?”
“Not really,” you shrugged. “Hongbin’s home with me.”
“Didn’t Wonshik pitch?” it was difficult to miss how irritated the lawyer sounded.
“He’s busy with work but he did pop in for ten minutes earlier.” you all but defended. Wonshik was putting in the effort to be a good father and you would not fault him on that.
“Would you two like to do something?” Taekwoon offered, internally relieved to know that his friend was not lying. The last time he spoke to Wonshik he remembered the younger man bringing up his busy and packed schedule.
You chuckled. “My mini-me and I are protesting any productivity today. We’re holed up on the couch in our PJ’s. You and Hyukie are welcome to join.” you replied, stifling a yawn.
“Still tired huh?” he answered, already making his way to Sanghyuk’s room to prepare him for the day’s adventure.
“You have no idea.” you huffed out a laugh. “So is that a yes Lawyer Jung?” you asked again. You could not help but feel excited.
“You had me at unproductive.” he teased. In all honesty however; any excuse to spend time with you sounded perfect to him. “I’ll be there in twenty?”
“I’ll be waiting.” you eagerly replied.
You would soon discover that the small reprieve of having Wonshik, Sanghyuk and his father visiting would be just that, a reprieve. More and more, Hongbin would ask for his father; a request that you could no fulfil no matter how much you or Wonshik wanted to. At most, your son’s father could manage a quick call here and there and the occasional pick up after school. It weighed on you more than you wanted to admit. Hongbin was never a fussy child; even when he was a newborn, he would never cry unnecessarily or act out like other children his age. Now to see your son throw one tantrum too many was disconcerting.
“What’s wrong?” Taekwoon asked, his dark eyebrows furrowed in concern.
He had taken you to the café near your workplace during lunch but once he observed your lack of appetite, he could no longer hold back his curiosity.
“Hongbin.” your eyes fluttered to look at the man seated across from you. “He misses Wonshik a lot. Always wants to see and hear from him but it’s difficult. He’s been acting out lately.” you sighed.
A warm hand covered your own. You stared at both of your hands before looking up at Taekwoon with vulnerable eyes. The lawyer prepared to take his hand back, thinking the contact was unwanted but before he could think to move a finger, you gripped his hand like a life line.
“Isn’t there something he can do about it?” he asked, loftily pretending like he did not know the specifics of the situation. It was beginning to become harder for him to keep the truth from you. It was one thing to be a cold-blooded lawyer and another to be a compromised man with strong feelings.
You shook your head. “He’s a graphic designer. The pitches that he has to present at times are really involved and in depth. Doesn’t help he had a crisis a few days ago. He’s been trying but there’s only so much he can do under pressure.” you explained.
Taekwoon nodded. He and his friend did not always see eye to eye but he could clearly see where Wonshik was coming from.
“The pitch won’t be in your lives forever. All you need to do is just keep Hongbin patient for a little longer. If you need some time off, you can send him to me. I like having him over.” Taekwoon offered with a grin.
You squeezed his hand, feeling positive for the first time in a long time. “You know how to make everything sound easy.” you complimented, now looking at your lunch with relish.
Taekwoon laughed. “It isn’t.” he denied. He liked that you had to let go of his hand and that he no longer felt the ring that you chose to no longer wear. Even better, you were starting to eat.
“That must be your superpower then.” you complimented; cheeks on fire. There was a glint in his eyes that made it difficult to look away.
You were bustling around your apartment like a headless chicken. It was your first evening meeting since a few months ago and you had forgotten how stressful it could be. Suddenly, you could not find your favourite pair of heels or that specific shade of red lipstick just had to be in that one handbag you could not remember where you placed. On top of that you had to ensure Hongbin had something decent to eat for supper on top of ordering the notes you had to take with you that evening.
Ding-dong!
Relief! You were saved. Padding in your stockings to the door, you opened it to find your teenaged neighbour Shin Hye. She was seventeen, lived with her parents and though she did not necessarily need the money in the strictest sense, her parents refused to support her hobbies that involved multiple male idol groups.
Apparently, one of her favourites were having an end-of-year concert and she was saving up to be as close to the stage as possible.
The thought led you to Taekwoon. You felt grateful that all you had to do to talk to him was pick up your phone and you laughed. You wondered if you should bring up the fact that he was handsome enough to be in an idol group.
“Shin Hye! Just in time.” you rushed the girl in with a welcoming smile.
“Hi Mrs Kim! Sorry I’m late, classes ran overtime.” she explained kindly. The teenager was so sweet that you had not the heard to explain that you were no longer Mrs Kim. Strangely enough, the slip ups no longer bothered you.
“That’s okay. I have to leave in about five minutes. Hongbin already had dinner so all that’s left is just to bath him and put him to bed.” you explained hurriedly whilst packing your handbag.
“Sure thing.” she replied and made her way over to your son.
Taking a much needed breather, you mentally went over the list of things you needed and finding that you were in order, made for the couch Hongbin was on.
“I’m going to my meeting now Hongbinnie. I’ll be back soon okay?” you spoke to your child and kissed him on the temple, leaving a visible kiss mark there.
Hongbin nodded. He seemed so withdrawn lately. It made you feel guiltier for leaving him that evening but you had to be present at your meeting that evening.
Aware that time was ticking, you again greeted your son and his babysitter before rushing out of the door.
“Of course. I’m sure we can work toward that objective.” you agreed with your client rather distractedly.
Your phone had been vibrating in your handbag for the past five minutes and the sinking feeling in your stomach did nothing to quell the fears circulating around your head.
“You should get that.” Your boss kindly gestured toward your handbag stationed between the two of you.
Thanking him, you bowed deeply to both men and excused yourself.
Shin Hye calling
“Shin Hye what’s wrong?” you answered as soon you picked up the call.
You heard the poor girl hiccupping and was she crying? “M-mrs Kim! H-hongbin’s missing!” she exclaimed, sounding far too distraught for a girl her age.
Your heart stopped and promptly dropped like a stone into the pit of your stomach.
“What do you mean Hongbin is missing?” your hands were shaking.
“I-I put him down for five minutes….when I came back to check on him, he was g-gone!” she wailed.
“He ran away?” the words were so soft, you did not want to acknowledge that you had even uttered them.
“Y-yes. His schoolbag’s gone too.” she explained with clarity; no doubt she realized it for the first time.
Your head was spinning. Get a grip, you mentally admonished yourself. “I’ll…be right there. Calm down okay?” you comforted the young girl; taking none of your own advice.
You waited a few moments to reassure the girl before ending the call.
When you re-entered the private restaurant room, you immediately got onto your knees in a formal apologetic fashion.
“I just received a call of a family emergency. May I please be excused?” you asked your boss and client.
“Of course!” “If you’re unable to work tomorrow, please call.” Your client and boss replied. You sighed in relief. The last thing you needed was a chaotic professional life as well.
As you drove home, you felt as though you were held together by a thread that was quickly beginning to fray.
“Call Jung Taekwoon.” you commanded your smartphone with a shaky voice.
You waited, counting out the rings. One, two –
“(F/n)?” Taekwoon’s voice sounded through the speakers of your car. His tone was so reassuring that you could almost believe that everything would be okay.
“Hongbin’s missing.” you choked out. Then you shook your head sadly, the road almost disappearing before your eyes. “He…ran away.”
“When was this?” you half-expected him to be as panicked as you were but his calm tone endured. You barely caught the nuanced worry and you were assured that this was his way of keeping you focused.
“Uh…about half an hour ago?” you replied, your heart slightly lifting at the sight of your apartment building. “Could…you…come over?” if anyone overheard your conversation, they would have sworn it was a woman far younger than you. And you felt that way. Scared and vulnerable.
“Already on my way.” he returned not a moment later. “And (F/n)? We’ll bring him home.” Taekwoon assured with so much confidence, you could not seem to doubt him.
If only you could stop doubting your parenting skills.
Immediately after, while simultaneously comforting a hysterical Shin Hye, you called Wonshik relaying the news that broke your heart all over again.
“I’ll leave in five.” Wonshik’s frantic voice came through your speaker. You could hear the rustling of papers and files in the background.
“But your work?” you softly reminded.
“To hell with work. My son is more important!” he snapped and you were taken aback. You heard him sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried. You must be too. He’s a smart boy.” he reminded you and as inconsolable as you felt, a smile tugged at your lips. Wonshik was right.
In the next twenty minutes, you sent Shin Hye home and Taekwoon and Sanghyuk arrived. The older offered to take a drive around the area and not wanting to drag Sanhyuk into the cold night air, you agreed to travel with them.
You sent a message to Wonshik to man the station at home just in case your son decided to come home while you were gone.
In the time Taekwoon slowly patrolled the area around your home, the feeling of helplessness began to engulf you. Anything could have happened to your precious child. Was he cold? Hungry? Safe? Did he at least remember to put on a coat?
You stared out into the lamp lit street, your first supporting your chin as tears trailed their way down your cheeks. The thin thread snapped fifteen minutes ago.
“Don’t do that.” Taekwoon commanding voice broke through your revolving thoughts.
You looked to him. You long ago stopped caring that you were openly crying in front of him. This was a time you could not pretend to be as sunny as you usually were. You were thankful that Sanghyuk already drifted off in his car seat.
“Don’t blame yourself.” he expanded. His serious brown eyes never once leaving the road ahead of him.
You shook your head. “I’m a terrible mother. He’s been so withdrawn lately, I should’ve known he’d do something. I shouldn’t have gone tonight.” you furiously wiped your eyes to the point that your cheeks were even redder because of it.
One hand still on the steering wheel, Taekwoon grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers. He brought your hand to his lips and kissed it. In your entire acquaintance he had never been so bold.
“You aren’t. You never were. I’m a better parent because of you. Hongbin’s going through a lot and he acted out of impulse. If he knew how much it hurt you, he wouldn’t have done it. He loves you.” Like I do, Taekwoon mentally added as he looked at you.
“You think so?” you meekly sniffled.
Taekwoon disconnected your hands to gently wipe your tears away and cradled your face like you were a priceless piece of glass.
“I’d never lie to you.” the car significantly slowed down to allow the lawyer to draw closer to you. He hated the bitter irony of his words. Then again, he defended himself internally, he never actually lied to you, he simply did not disclose all the information he knew.
When his lips were a hairs’ breadth from your own, your phone rang.
Wonshik calling
A flash of white hot guilt surged through your body at the caller I.D. You did nothing wrong.
“Y-yes?” you answered, averting your gaze to your window.
“We found Hongbin. Jaehwan said he showed up at the office. He’s bringing him home. He’ll be here in a few minutes.” he relayed excitedly. He was so relieved that you heard him laugh.
“Thank God!” you exclaimed, your hand on your racing heart.
Judging by the speed of the car, you had no doubt Taekwoon heard the good news.
“Get back soon.” Wonshik urged happily.
“I will.” you responded in like and hung up.
“Told you.” Taekwoon smugly commented; shamelessly taking your hand in his once more. The time to be passive about his feelings for you were over. Wonshik’s presence in your apartment was a good enough motivator.
“You did.” you smiled; your good mood unmistakeable.
Be that as it may, your confusion only mounted. Taekwoon was affectionate in a way that startled you – not in a bad way, because you delighted in each and every interaction. But he had suddenly gone on the offensive that you were left a little winded. You had a bad feeling that it had to do with your ex-husband and not in the way you were expecting you were sure.
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