It's Just Lunch...
The House Play
In the evening Hongbin was away, you found your smartphone lighting up with periodic updates and even the occasional picture of Hongbin and Sanghyuk during their playtime. You found it more endearing than annoying; feeling your thoughts at ease that your son was in very capable hands. Taekwoon's messages in their own made you feel as though you were back in university assisting a friend with a project. Being new to the entire sleepover thing, he was full of questions that only made him seem cuter in your eyes - a fact that contrasted heavily with the way you viewed Wonshik, especially after your most recent meeting with him.
Due to the advantages of Hongbin staying with his friend from the same pre-school meant that you were free to get to work even earlier than usual the next morning. Due to the past week's events, your work and work ethic seemed to bear the brunt of your distraction. Glad for the opportunity to get yourself back on track, you reached the office before many of your co-workers and almost missed lunch hours later after getting lost in your old habit of productivity.
Nevertheless you left your office at your usual time, getting caught up in tying loose ends with other departments, barely escaping the bustling space before you heard the faint ring of the telephone at your desk. Your only focus at the time was to meet with Sanghyuk's father and thank him for his generosity and proactiveness when you reached the pre-school.
When you reached the school however; you found Hongbin playing with his teacher; his demeanour as bubbly as you remembered from the previous afternoon. You felt the prickings of disappointment when you were informed that Sanghyuk had already been collected earlier that afternoon and you brushed it off with the idea that you would see the pair the next morning.
In the meantime, as you took Hongbin home, you allowed yourself to listen to his adventures with maternal enthusiasm - every now and then correcting his grammatical errors. It warmed your heart to hear how much your son seemed to enjoy playing with both his friend and his father and brought you to laughter when Hongbin admitted that although he was scared of the older man at first, he was in fact "very funny".
Your resolution to see the father and son pair never came to fruition. Both in the mornings and in the afternoons, you would either see Sanghyuk on his own or already picked up; your son in the care of either his teachers or friends. For four days straight you either arrived too early or too late; unable to wait due to your ever increasing workload.
Just as you were about to give up on a particularly sunny Friday morning, you spotted that ever elusive tall figure with exceptional posture helping Sanghyuk put on his backpack.
"Hey!" you called, momentarily forgetting the ever watchful group of mothers gathered nearby watching with curious eyes.
"Hi." Taekwoon lifted his hand in a wave once he heard and saw the direction from which you were coming. That morning he was dressed in slate gray pants and a sky blue linen shirt with matching tie. You noted that it was probably too warm for any added jackets or coats.
Any further conversation was temporarily halted by Hongbin and Sanghyuk excitedly chirping away as though they had not seen each other in weeks rather than the mere evening they were apart and both mother and father watched the greeting with fondness.
"I've been meaning to speak to you but it seems we've been missing each other the entire week." you continued with a laugh; realizing how strange it seemed to your own ears. Did you seem too eager?
"Sorry about that." Taekwoon replied, his cheeks faintly coloring. "An urgent case came up; all my free time's been spent working on it." at that you took in his slightly tired expression, his usually radiant complexion dulled somewhat and the circles under his brown eyes were darkened.
"No need to apologize." you smiled in genuine understanding. "Work hasn't been exactly forgiving on my side either. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for the other night.
I know you're busy but maybe you and Sanghyuk would like to come over for lunch tomorrow?" you asked with the shy air of a schoolgirl, making sure your invitation was in no way attempting to strongarm the other party.
"Really?" "Can we please go Dad? Hongbin's Mama cooks so much better!" Hongbin and Sanghyuk exclaimed, the latter looking up at his father with a cute pout.
Looking both thoughtful and quite embarrassed, Taekwoon nodded. "I suppose I can spare a few hours." an amused smile creeped on to your lips as you could practically see the gears turning in his head.
"I'm not sure about that," you teased the young boy before continuing, "but it would be nice to have both of you over. If you need to work, I don't mind watching him for a while." you kindly assured Taekwoon.
"I'd appreciate that. Thank you. Let me know when I should come over." he answered, his smile mirroring yours before looking at his watch.
"Duty calls?" you nodded your head towards his watch with a grin; knowing the all too familiar feeling yourself.
The busy lawyer nodded with a chuckle. "I'll text you later?" he said as you both said goodbye to your children.
You flushed and admitted to yourself that you liked how that sounded. "Sure." you agreed with enthusiasm.
You went about the rest of you workday with a noticeable spring in your step. You felt more energized, the workload felt lighter and even your co-workers seemed more peacable than usual. Your ever observant friends pestered you about your uncharacteristic good mood but you knew better than anyone what they would say if you told them exactly what or who was responsible for it. Instead, you waved them off and just said you looked forward to your weekend in bed.
When you got home in the evening, you occupied yourself with the many recipe books you owned and all the internet cooking blogs you could name off the top of your head. As frantic as you felt looking for the perfect dish that was both impressive but would not come across as try-hard, you were nevertheless excited at the idea of entertaining once more. After paging, compiling and scratching out; you put yourself and your assisstant - who fell asleep early on in your research, to bed.
The next morning began early, your tradition of morning cartoons and sugary cereals exchanged for the packed spaces of the grocery store in an attempt to gather everything you would need before your guests came over in a few hour's time.
You placated Hongbin, who became quite disgruntled at having his routine interrupted, by indeed providing him with said sugary cereal and cartoons, a blessing as you needed your concentration for cooking.
Time flew by and just as your doorbell rung at one in the afternoon, you had just emerged from your bedroom, dressed in a casual yet fashionable outfit; absentmindedly smoothing down your hair and clothes wanting to present only the best part of yourself. Taekwoon was not the only one allowed to be cool, calm and collected.
"Mama, Mama they're here!" Hongbin yelled with all the rowdyness of a four-year-old boy as he ran to the door.
"No running." you chastised as you went to the door to answer it.
You opened the door to reveal Taekwoon and Sanghyuk - the latter bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement. The former - not on work hours - was dressed in a shirt and pants combination, the fabric of either the only indication he was casually dressed
"Good afternoon!" both you and Hongbin greeted simulatenously, your bows insync.
"Afternoon!" you received jovial greetings in turn and you gestured to the pair of guest house slippers for father and son to change into
"I brought these." Taekwoon offered shyly.
Though you naturally maintained that it was not necessary, you could not stop the leap your heart gave at the gesture. Receiving both packages, one in a tastefully chosen giftbag, you found a rather expensive bottle of wine and a cake from the same patissierie Wonshik patroned less than a handful of weeks ago.
While the children left to play in the living room, you gestured for Taekwoon to follow you to the kitchen as you placed the cake in the fridge and the wine on the wine rack nearby. Occupied with checking on the food in between, you barely noticed your guest's quietness until you turned around to see his gaze turned towards the photographs hanging on the wall. You did not find that fact strange in itself but his expression was pulled into one you could not even begin to identify.
"Is everything alright?" you asked, your head tilted in confusion as you brewed two cups of coffee and removed two juice boxes from the refrigerator.
"Oh...yes." Taekwoon seemed jilted from his thoughts and looked at you with a placating smile. "I was just looking at your pictures."
Passing by him with said juice boxes, your eye caught on a particular photograph of yourself, Wonshik and Hongbin in happier times. You both wanted professional pictures and hired a photographer to take pictures of your litte famiy while on a picnic one weekend. Smiles and laughter was everywhere you recalled. The photograph in question that brought all of those memories back was one of you and Wonshik under the tree. Neither of you knew the picture had been taken at the time, so lost were both of you in each other and the future that seemed to be sparkling with promise.
One Year Ago:
"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" Wonshik asked cheekily from beside you under the glorious shade of the tree; watching your son chase the photographer around a few metres away.
For the umpteenth time that day you blushed; a habit that was difficult to get rid of when your husband was a man of words.
"Only since I've gotten dressed this morning." you rolled your eyes playfully in response; a chuckle not too far behind. "Besides this is for a photoshoot so of course I had to put my best foot forward."
Wonshik scoffed. "You could've worn what you normally do and you'd still be the most beautiful woman in the world." he turned to plant a loving kiss on your cheek.
"You're such a flirt Kim Wonshik!" you accused teasingly, nudging him with your arm.
"Only for you." he returned the nudge and brought his arm around you so you could lay your head on his strong and firm shoulder. A peaceful silence reigned as the two of you watched Hongbin. "He sure seems to love the camera huh?" Wonshik added a while later; eyes shining with paternal pride.
You looked at your husband with excitement. "I thought I was the only that noticed! We should get him a camera when he's older." you resolved.
"On the condition that at least one hundred pictures be of you." Wonshik replied with mock seriousness; nodding at the pleasing thought.
"Why are you like this?" utterly flustered at his shameless words. You moved away from his embrace to flick his forehead.
"Ow!" he exclaimed in pain. "Okay okay, fifty! That's as low as I'll go." he bargained gripping his forehead laughingly.
You stuck your tongue out at him and moved to your picnic basket to serve a sweet snack to refresh yourselves after the delicious lunch earlier.
As you both ate pleasantly, enjoying the birds singing in the trees and the warm sunshine, you were surprised when Wonshik placed his right hand over your left one, his fingers grazing your wedding band.
"I know we've spoken about this before but I've been thinking lately...don't you think Hongbin would make a good older brother?" all traces of his earlier joking vanished, his dark eyes staring at your conjoined hands.
"What a thing to ask three years later." you smiled tenderly at him; love and affection for the man in front of you washing over you. "I'd love to, you know that but it's been put on the backburner because we've been busy, especially you." you reminded gently, covering his hands that held yours with your free hand.
"Business is going great right now, when I finish the rest of these projects how about we take a break and talk about this again?" he offered and it warmed your heart to see how excited he was about the idea.
You nodded with a grin. "You have yourself a deal."
The only response you received was a chaste kiss filled with gratitude and love.
"Mama! Papa! Ew!" your precious moment was disturbed by the exclaimation of your four-year-old.
Wonshik and yourself could only laugh, your smiles only widening when your eyes met.
You brought yourself out of your internal reverie. You turned to the collage area again, every single photograph where you looked at Wonshik and Wonshik at you was so filled with love that it only served to make you feel vaguely ill. You hated how tainted your memories felt now. He was not even cheating at the time yet the happenings of the last few months made you wonder for no reason at all. The memory in itself was so beautiful in the fact that you could barely believe it was real merely a year later. How some part of you would have given anything to return to that carelessly happy point in time. The sound of wild laughter reminded you of your task as you resumed your journey to the living room to check on both children and remind them to take a break before making your trip back to the kitchen.
"My husband and I are divorced." you explained from across the kitchen counter; your eyes directed nowhere in particular. Perhaps getting over the awkward conversation voluntarily would be better instead of waiting for the eventual questioning that was sure to come.
"You're still wearing your ring." Taekwoon noted, his eyes on the brilliant diamond ring adorning your hand.
Feeling as though it were burning your finger, you sub-consciously twirled the magnificently crafted ring. Every day you told yourself it would be the last and every morning before you left the house the diamond band would find its way onto your finger. It had nothing to do with the beauty of it, or even the cost; it had everything to do with what exactly it represented. Truth was, you were not ready to give up everything just yet. You lost enough as is.
"Old habits I guess." you shrugged, unsure if it was meant to be a joke or not.
"May I ask what happened?" he inquired with such gentleness and tact that you wondered if he really was a lawyer. Unsure of how to begin, the silence between the two of you stretched indefinitely. "I'm sorry I-" just as Taekwoon wished to apologize you began.
"He cheated." you answered simply. "I wasn't offended that you asked. It's just...no-one really tells you how embarrassing it is to talk about it, even when you've done nothing wrong." you gave a humorless laugh to emphasise the ridiculous thought. "Wonshik had a two month long affair with some young girl. I asked for a divorce three months ago when I found out. I guess I was lucky it wasn't as drawn out as I thought it'd be." you explained, occupying yourself with setting up the various things for lunch avoiding all the unpleasant memories of all the paperwork and meetings you had to attend with both of your divorce lawyer representitives.
"Do you know who she is?" Taekwoon asked, curiosity outweighing sensitivity.
"No and I don't want to either." you answered simply. It felt different having the conversation you were with Taekwoon. For one, there was no pity in his face which made you instantly grateful and two, speaking to someone not directly connected to the situation made you feel a peculiar sense of freedom. "It's bad enough having to deal with the fact that he had an affair much less wasting endless hours comparing myself to her." unable to keep the distaste you felt out of your words.
"I can't blame you." the lawyer agreed quietly, a look of approval on his face that only served to make you feel strangely vindicated. "Do you still see him?" he phrased the question as though he hoped that was not the case.
"Often unfortunately. As great as a clean break sounds, sharing a child makes that impossible and keeping Hongbin from him wouldn't be fair to either of them. He wasn't the greatest husband at the end but even I can't deny he's a good father. Still, keeping everything pleasant during 'family time' is difficult." you sighed, taking in a gulp of coffee. Just thinking of the last time you saw your ex-husband made your head prickle with an oncoming headache. Maybe if Wonshik was not so attached to the idea of getting back together, it would make it easier for you to let go.
"I'm sure once you all adjust to the situation, it'll be easier." Taekwoon advised tenderly. "As rewarding as it is to be a parent, it isn't always easy doing the right thing." he sympathized.
You laughed genuinely. "You could say that again. Dealing with my ex's persistance is a sight to see, that's for sure." you did not really mean to say it out loud but found yourself unwilling to take it back.
"It's only goes to show what a good mother you are." he replied, his face earnest and smile overwhelmingly reassuring.
Your own face coloured once more, the compliment flattering you more than you thought it would. You thanked him shyly, taking a seat as a thought occurred to you.
"And your wife?" you asked, your voice quiet; your eyes catching the the silver band he wore. It was not strange to have mothers that were busier than the fathers but it only occurred to you then that you had yet to see his wife. He did not seem like the cheating type either.
"...passed away three and a half years ago." he answered, his voice so low you almost missed what he said.
Your eyes widened. It seemed nearly impossible that a man so young would be a widower and single father and yet...you felt your eyebrows crease in thoughtfulness.
"She must've been lovely." you found yourself saying before you could stop yourself. Indeed, when you thought about it, Taekwoon's wife could only have been lovely. Another alternative could not have made sense.
"She was." Taekwoon's lips quirked up at the thought and felt envious at how much he loved her. "I met my wife in college, she was sickly even then, always sitting in shady spots to avoid the sun. I was even shier than I'm now but she never pushed me to speak when I took refuge near her between classes." he laughed ironically. "She never wanted to date because of her chronic condition but studying law at the time, I used every tactic I could to make her say yes. We dated and married soon after. Months after she had Sanghyuk her health declined but the doctor's couldn't do anything by that stage..." Taekwoon trailed off, his words strained. If he were any other person, for example yourself, he would have been crying.
You swiftly wiped away a stray tear or two that made its way onto your cheeks.
"Does Sanghyuk remember her at all?" you asked, your heart going out to the little boy at the thought.
Taekwoon shook his head. "He was too young when she died. I stayed in Japan in the hope of keeping some part of her alive but I realized it was more for myself than anything. There's pictures of her in our home and I tell him about her when he asks but more than that..."
"He'll appreciate it when he's older." you offered hopefully. "Did you live there long?" you asked instead, not wanting to impose any further on the grief he still obviously carried with him.
"We moved there after we married because of a job offer I received. I lost contact with my friends because I was so busy...my wife was everything to me. I moved back when Sanghyuk was one, closer to home but I thought it would be better to reconnect with my old university friends, for support." he expanded. You felt honored that he felt comfortable enough to share his past with you, a privilege that was not shared with everyone you figured.
Feeling an overwhelming tenderness come over you, you reached your hand across the cool marble of the counter and placed it over his much larger and warmer one. It was not much, you figured, but it was all you could do when you felt a kinship with him.
"I'm glad you moved. Family's important but having a support system of friends are even more so. And if you need to talk, well, I'm here too. Having another adult who understands makes all the difference." you responded. One could never have too many friends that was for sure.
Taekwoon regarded your youthful and smiling face, wondering how it was you remained so willing to help when you were going through one of the most difficult things a person could go through.
"I'll be here too." Taekwoon replied, his face more serious than you remembered.
A comfortable silence followed, your hands never finding the opportunity to part, not that either of you minded. The friendly comeraderie was exactly what both of you needed.
"Mama, Mama! We're hungry!" Hongbin and Sanghyuk came running in, their cheerful voices filling the previously silent room.
Causing the fragile moment to shatter, both you and Taekwoon quickly removed your hands and you immediately jumped to prepare lunch.
"You're hungry?!" you teased, with your fists at your hips; now recovered. "I wonder what's for lunch..." you quickly moved around the kitchen to gather the previously made lunches with cleverly disguised vegetables posing as cute animals and insects.
Lunch was an affair of note. There was not a quiet moment to be had with talking and strange childish questions filling each of them. You even watched in amusement as Taekwoon convinced both Sanghyuk and Hongbin to eat their tomatoes with a very entertaining little play starring them and the boiled eggs as newly hatched chicks. You both laughed at the lawyer joke you threw his way cleaning up after dessert later.
The one or two hours that were supposed to be spent in your apartment lengthened into long after the sun set that afternoon; the pair staying over for dinner and even a bath for both boys. The extra work was tiring but rewarding when you thought of all the games and chatting and laughter that filled your home. You actually felt a touch sad to let your company leave at half past eight that evening but after both children had fallen asleep after their baths, it was time to call it a night. And after you sent off the pair with well wishes, you decided to turn into bed yourself, if only for a moment's repose. The clean-up could wait for tomorrow.
When Taekwoon arrived home, he carried Sanghyuk to his room to collect pajamas for the sleeping four-year-old, bringing him back to his own bedroom to change him and settle him on the side designated to his son on the many nights the young boy chose to sleep next to him. Having used every ounce of his energy earlier that day, the lethargic lawyer lazily removed his own clothes and changed for bed, realizing belatedly that his promise to work that afternoon had not only been totally railroaded but the mere thought had never even entered his mind. He laughed to himself, when was the last time that happened?
As he climbed into his bed, he caught the sight of the framed picture that sat on his bedside table. The low lamplight showcased his treasured wedding picture. He looked at himself and his late wife, looking as though they were the first to discover happiness. Usually, it made his heart ache and every evening for the three and a half years he was on his own he would climb into bed feeling the gaping hole in his chest that only prolonged his insomnia.
Tonight however; he felt only fond nostalgia, your comforting gesture in the forefront of his mind as he placed the picture in its usual place. His mind trailed off to your laugh that he heard many times that day, your mothering nature that was brilliant in its gentleness and your wise words that were far beyond your years. He refused to think of the ill fortune that fell upon you because of your ex-husband, the unease and restlessness he felt at the man would only undo all the good that had been done.
Just then he heard his cell phone vibrate.
Kim (F/n) (21:30 pm): This was fun, though I'm sorry you never got around to your work. We should do this again (hopefully when you're less busy)! Sleep well!
He did not notice the smile on his face until he realized that he had been staring at the text message for an entire five minutes, finding your exclaimation points and way of texting utterly cute. It was at those times he was reminded that you were a few years younger than him. Flustered at the kind message, the widower fumbled a reply before turning to bed that evening, sleep finding him easily for the first time in a while.
To: Kim F/n (21:36 pm): Name the day and we'll be there. I enjoyed today too; I'll just catch up tomorrow. Enjoy your rest.
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