I had often pictured how we would meet. You and I.

Maybe in a coffee shop down town? In a library while looking for some textbooks in the same aisle? Perhaps at a convenience store while running an errand? Or at a restaurant while falling in line to order some takeout? During high school when I am old enough to recognize you? Or at Sunday service at the lo cal church? Maybe at a party that we are both invited to? What about at a concert with our favorite artists? It can also be at the theater, though, while watching a movie. Or maybe during college on the first day of classes, or at various meets.

I dreamed of meeting my soul mate in a very normal way. At the perfect timing. Our eyes would connect and then we would easily recognize each other. We would feel gravitated towards each other and just as we touched those sparks would ignite the feelings that had long slept in the confines of our emotions. A mark would be forever engraved on our skins, sealing the promise that was chosen by fate.

It should be that simple.

But life was a zigzag. It didn’t always go a straight line.

Just like when you woke up in the morning and didn’t know the road ahead. It was simply just the task of opening your eyes at first, but then outside your home, there the real battle would start. You had to ready yourself for a war you weren’t too sure you’d win.

For me, the war hadn’t even started and yet I had lost without a fight. So, why would I go for something I already knew the outcome of? I could just simply forfeit it and go the easiest way out.

Light flickered through the cracks of my eyes, which I slowly opened with effort, and blinded me. The feeling was just like when you were in the dark for too long and had to wait for your eyes to adjust to the amount of light present. I had to squint as I glared at the whiteness around me.

How come all I saw was white?

My vision was still blurry, not sure why. And then, the smell of disinfectant just flooded my nostrils, making me scrunch my nose at the unwelcoming smell. It was as if someone had poured out an entire bottle of alcohol in this place. It was quite revolting, but what made me snap back to my senses was the unfamiliar surroundings.

Where was I?

I wanted to speak, but my throat was parched dry. Water. I looked for water in the haziness of my mind and sat up slowly to find anything, but what I only found as my sight got clearer were empty side tables, a brown leather couch at the side, a cabinet adjacent to it, a tall lamp next to the cabinet, some blinds to block out the sunlight coming from outside, some frames on the walls with some friendly sayings and—

My breath hitched at the vision in front of me and I widened my eyes as I took in the surreal image that my brain had conjured in the haze I was in. If fate wasn’t mocking me enough, it just had to make me see an image of him sitting on the couch at the other side of the room, which I didn’t really pay much attention to until now.

Perhaps this was all a dream?

A beautiful nightmare I would have happily stayed in to cherish how my soul mate looked like. He was too perfect that I thought I wouldn’t be able to look him straight in the eye if he was real. He just had those eyes that spoke a thousand of emotions and yet had perfected a perpetual sharpness in his gaze. A perfectly shaped nose and lips the color of pink, allowing it to stand out as his pale skin faired.

I didn’t miss the furrow in his eyebrows; the way I wanted to run my fingers on his skin and straighten those creases, or how younger he looked with the black hair he was sporting. The last time I saw him, he was a blond—that had been nice on him, but I thought that this vision of him was better. It made him look so innocent I wouldn’t think he was capable of hurting me—

Then the vision spoke. “Hi.”

The voice was surprisingly deep and husky.

I opened and closed my mouth to speak, but couldn’t. How could a vision speak? I was riddled by this thought while the part of me that was in denial was starting to lose its confidence that everything was just a conjured image.

He pushed away the blanket that was thrown over him. He must have slept on the couch. My head was full of mixed thoughts that I wasn’t able to react when he stood up right away and aimed for the glass with water on the side that I didn’t realize was also there. He lifted it in his hands and handed it to me.

“Water,” he simply said, easily taking a hint of the state of my dry throat. It must have been the bond—that had instantly formed that moment our eyes connected—that made him react this way towards me.

I hesitated taking it, realizing that this was the closest I ever was to him. I didn’t even realize I was already holding my breath as I stared at his round eyes, which were staring back at me—this time with concern in them if I wasn’t even dreaming.

I looked at the glass of water he was offering and then back to him. If it was just not illegal to ogle at this guy and if I still had the right to, I would have done just that the entire day. But then, maybe it was just rude to stare so I looked down on the mattress covered with the white sheets and shook my head.

I refused to receive anything that would come from him.

He sighed, placing the glass of water on the side table. Then just when I thought he would leave, instead he pulled a chair to the side of my bed and sat down, for sure boring a hole at my skull. I sensed his stare even without looking at him. The bond that soul mates shared made it pretty obvious to the one at the receiving end.

“You fainted after the party,” he informed me. I realized how everything was starting to become more real the more he spoke.

The nightmare had become my reality. My beautiful nightmare.

He would have been all mine.

But what was this strange feeling in my chest?

“What are you doing here?” My voice wasn’t angry. I should have been, that even I was surprised at how calm I was meeting him like this.

How dare he?

He ignored me though and continued with bearing the news, “the doctor said it was food poisoning.” His voice had a bit of an edge to it. “They have yet to know the cause, but I have already fired the cooking personnel at the palace.”

I gasped, widening my eyes at him. What was he talking about?

“I wouldn’t have allowed my mother to plan all this and endanger your life if—“

My ears had tuned out his voice as I became consumed by the feeling settling in my chest. What was it? I didn’t know it before but now it was suddenly very clear. Anger. Disappointment. Hurt. They were all coming back to me. His voice, his face, everything about him reminded me of his unfaithfulness.

“Get out.” I surprised him with my words.

He stilled, his eyes widening at me as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What are you—“

“Get out!” I shouted, wanting nothing but for him to leave me alone.

Did he think it was going to be that easy? That I would forget what he did last night and forgive him because he was my soul mate?

As realization sunk in of what the tantrum I was throwing was all about, he stood up almost knocking the chair behind him and gripped on my wrist. Sparks flew between us and I pulled back at the intensity of it, the weight of what these signs all meant. We were finally connected. Soon enough I’d bear the same mark that would also be engraved on his skin.

“No,” I persisted, trying to pull away, but his grip was tight around my wrist.

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

I scoffed, unable to stop myself. I was on a roll today. “You don’t say something you don’t really mean. I can’t be around someone who doesn’t want me.” I didn’t even know how I managed to say it, but he just made me want to be truthful.

He loosened his grip as our eyes held each other’s gaze, his expression akin to one which had lost battle. Again, regret appeared in them. Regret that he was here? Regret that I was the one paired up to him by fate? Regret that he brought me to the hospital—

“You shouldn’t have done this.” His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. My heart clenched at the realization I had. He had followed me when I ran away and brought me to the hospital. “You should have just allowed me to rot on the streets. If you don’t reall