“Dada, puple?”

“Aigoo, no purple, please. What about red? Or black?”

“Anyii, don't like. Puple.”

“Arasso. Let's put purple, neh.”

“Neh. Neh.”

They were currently lazing around the house alone. Others were going somewhere, enjoying the city before the holidays ended. Joonie was painting his dada's nails, but he certainly had too much fun. Not only his father's nails were painted carelessly, Joonie also happily drew on his father’s face, making he looked like an ugly clown that would only scare children out than make them happy.

“Dada, puple good!”

“Dada looks good in purple? Is that so?”

“Neh, neh!” Joonie gave him a small mirror so Jiyong could see his face.

"Oh wow! Dada looks handsomer!” Jiyong pretended to be shocked which brought out a glee squeak from the baby. There were a big purple heart drawn nicely by Joonie, encircling around each of his eyes. They were giggling happily.

“Say, Joonie. Dada needs to go back to studio this afternoon, will you let him?”

“Anyiiii!” Joonie hugged his father’s neck immediately which brought a laughter from Jiyong. 

“Of course dada will bring you with me. He will never leave you alone.”

“Dada go no no. Joonie alone. Joonie has dada only.”

“I won't let you be lonely, honey. I promise.”

“Dada no pomise.”
“No promise?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Momma pomise. Momma love Joonie no moo. Momma not go home.”

Jiyong could see his son holding his tears back so bad. His body was shaking hard. Jiyong caressed his back slowly.

“It's okay, Joonie-ah. Even a big boy can cry.”

There, he let everything out. Joonie cried loudly asking for his mother to be back.

x

“It's his loss.”

They told Seungri, his closest people, excluding his family. For them, Jiyong was a fool for letting Seungri go, srraight-out splitting up with maknae without any effort to repair the relational damage and redevelop the bond. However, without they knew, Seungri felt like his world was crashing down.

It took a moment for him to realize. The behavior that once seemed right, now felt very immature to him. The business trip that once sounded fun, adventurous, and benefited, suddenly struck him with shame of being so arrogant and self-centred.

Seungri was walking with his noona, when he saw a child – only slightly older than Joonie – crying. She asked for her mother not to leave her behind. The girl's mother only wanted to take the call from her office at the less crowded area – as Seungri heard – and left the girl with his father. But clearly, she didn’t want that. She kept being clingy at her mother.

Like Joonie.

Seungri thought the mother would scold her as it was her boss calling her for something important. Instead, she rejected the call and took the child with her buying a street food.

How could she simply do that?

Seungri couldn’t even make a direct decision like that without heaving a frustration sigh. 

“How could you do that?” Seungri couldn’t stop himself from asking loudly.

“Excuse me, but do what?”

“That. Rejecting your boss's call. I'm sorry I overheard your conversation, but I have a son too at home and he's very attached to me like your daughter to you.” Seungri said. He caught the surprise look at the woman's face before she changed it back to normal and kindly smiled at him.

“Oh, because for me, my daughter comes first. It frustrated me at beginning, because I have a bright career even before marriage and having a child. I feel suffocated, my moves were limited by her. But I learn, no matter what, I can't blame my child for this, she's not even reaching five yet, what she knows exactly about her parents' responsibility?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes. If children are demanding attention from their mother, it's a normal thing they do. So never blame them. They'll learn to understand someday, all we have to do is being patient. Over time, I'm the one who has changed my view of the situation. It comes naturally now. If I lose my job, so be it. There’s another plenty jobs and opportunities out there. If I lose my child, I think I will go crazy for sure.”

Seungri regretted everything. He was afraid of losing his baby, the business that he made from zero. His real baby that was born after his hard work. He thought he would be crazy if he lost all of the good opportunities coming to him on a silver plate.

He was so wrong and incredibly stupid.

He should have rejected Jiyong's offer for splitting up, if only he could be smarter.

He should have accepted Joonie's unconditional love, if only he wasn’t so greedy.

“I want to let go of my position and reduce my work as much as possible.” Seungri said. He was having lunch with his partners which he grew to hate now as they kept talking low about him.

“You can't, Ri.”

“You're the face of our business, Ri.”

“Without you, it will never work as good as today.”

Seungri rolled his eyes, being annoyed by the replies. The reason why he did much all this time was because they were using his image as superstar. The business would never move like a rocket if it weren’t for the help of his fans. Not many people knew about their existences no matter how rich they were in this life before they met him. 

“What should I do then?!”

“Let them go, they aren't worth your time.”

“I’m wrong all this time. No wonder, because I'm staying in the circle full of morons and selfish people. You keep mocking me and my role after my marriage. I don't think I can work with you guys anymore.”

“Yah, Lee Seungri! We help you building the business you want, sharing our links here and there and this is how you pay us?”

They used his popularity, so Seungri asked for important links in return. That was how their friendship worked. No honesty in heart. They wanted to gain something from each of their partner.

Business, that's how it worked.

“Yes. After this trip, I'll end everything.”

Seungri had enough. The miserable life he always shamelessly talked to his husband or closest friends wasn’t about his family or his role as a mother. He knew he was wrong. He wasn’t the only one at fault, but he was the one making the biggest mistake. The miserable life that made him felt frustated was this. 

Joonie was never a burden, his works probably was.

Joonie didn’t limit his movements, but the lack of prioritizing which one was the most important one hindered him for judging his condition better.

“You ungrateful brat. What's so important about your family, huh? You made us feeling ashamed of your uality and your spoiled adopted child.”

This wasn't new.

“Good to know I'm only giving you disgrace. I'm leaving whether you want it or not.”

“You'll lose everything.”

This one too. Seungri heard it a lot.

“Yeah. But I'll gain more with the important ones only. Or maybe, I should be the one making you all leave since you guys have been too noisy about my life so far? I have power in here.”

They cowered in fear. Because Seungri was always nice with people. He rarely let out his scary side, unless it was necessary. He learnt from the best after all, his husband’s domination could even make Yang Hyunsuk crouched down in fear. Seungri did the same in front of his colleagues.

He might not show it to people around him. He's still keeping his smile intact as if the marital problems didn’t have any side effects on him. The truth was, nobody could hear his heart breaking through every decision he made these days. It was as silent as the feather falling. 

“I'm going to be honest with you. This probably something that you don't want to hear right now, but you need to get lose. You need someone new. There'll be plenty of hot girls at our party tonight. Enjoy yourself for once, Ri! You need to be refreshed.”

He couldn’t do what one of his friends suggested. He sometimes felt like he wanted to breaking down in the middle of his DJ performance. It’s like he was seeing both Jiyong and Joonie in all the people in the club. Joonie was giggling and smiling cutel