Boracay ocean was indeed beautiful. If only he could live at tropical island, he didn’t have to suffer from cold winter or spring allergies. He was sunbathing with the crew. It’s very relaxing.

How long was it since the last time he enjoyed life like this?

The life he had right now was beyond amazing and incredibly awesome. He sometimes thought that he was actually born to be a businessman, he was the best in this league.

However, he felt something was wrong after he went back to his perfect life. A part of him was missing. He clearly knew what it was.

Love.

How long was it since the last time he left his married life behind?

Jonghoon and his mother were right about making a choice. He told him about GD's irrational demands. The latter came to the couple house that afternoon and all he got from his best friend was a pity stare.

“You still could work things out without being the one who handles everything. You have your own crew. Jiyong hyung also owns businesses but he wasn’t the CEO. Gee eun noona holds PMO, but it doesn’t mean Jiyong hyung loses his control over his brand, right? Everything would be easier if you weren’t so greedy, Ri.”

He wasn’t greedy. He just needed his life back, to be in his original fast track again. He wasn’t ready for marriage and slow house-husband life after all. He rushed things out.

However, Jiyong was the one who decided things in the end. Seungri chose to stay, although with a heavy heart. Maknae knew exactly where his heart was.

“I'm impressed you haven’t walked out yet.” Jiyong said as he sipped his coffee. Seungri was annoyed but he ignored him. There’s a reason why he stayed.

Joonie's love. 

Still, Seungri wanted to sign the paper. 

“Let’s take a break from each other and think things thoroughly.” Jiyong said after awhile. “You can go.”

Seungri looked up. “What do you mean?”

“I notice your heart is no longer belong to us. But we both know that Joonie will be having more traumatic breakdown if you leave just like that. Abandoned by his mothers twice, that’s too much for his heart to handle.” Jiyong sighed. “I'll give him a slow talk about your situation, he will understand. Just don't abandon him. After awhile he will be fine living without you, then you can leave us completely.” 

“Will you be okay taking care of him alone?” Seungri asked lowly.

“I will adjust just fine.”

Seungri nodded, hesitating. “What about us?”

“Let's just see what will happen next.” Jiyong patted Seungri's head as he was preparing himself to sleep. 

“Will you be here when I'm away?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” Seungri noticed Jiyong's face has changed as he looked very excited right now. “Pharrell contacted me. He wanted to work on music together with me. So, I'm heading to United States maybe next week.”

“I'm happy for you.” Seungri smiled softly, because he really was indeed happy for Jiyong. Pharrell was one of Jiyong's favorite artists. To be able to work with someone you admired so much must be going to be an ecstatic journey and experience.

“Thank you.”

Jiyong was laying down on the bed. Seungri was beside him. 

“But, what about Joonie?”

“I'm taking him with me. I plan for a simple family trip with him. Maybe we could visit Disneyland after working. Joonie likes Buzz Lightyear, remember?”

Seungri chuckled and nodded a bit, although his heart was breaking because he was no longer part of this small family anymore.

“I'm sorry, Jiyong.” Seungri whispered to the night air. “For not loving you despite everything you've done for me.”

Jiyong faced the wall, Seungri could only see his back. It looked lonely once again like before.

“I'm sorry too, Seungri. For no longer be able to pretend being a nice guy and avoid the feeling I have about you and your love for GD. I'm also sorry for trapping you into this marriage.”

That was the last night they slept beside each other, no touching and cuddling. Talking to Joonie the next day was a big challenge. He could see the boy's face looking dejected. Jiyong then told him he would take him to meet Buzz Lightyear. The sparks in his eyes were back, but it would never be the same again.

The three of them were trying to be happy in their own way, but they knew exactly a piece of puzzle has been missing from each of their life since that day.

Seungri took Jiyong's offer with the way out and left the broken home behind. 

Jiyong promised him, once Joonie could completely let go, he would proceed the divorce plea. But until then, the paper was saved in Jiyong's closet. Nobody’s signed it yet.

"Sajangnim, let's take a picture together.”

“Sure.”

Everything was perfect. He was in a very good mood today, he could feel that tonight’s show would be lit. He was in his best condition after this short relaxing time.

“Should we post this one?” Glory asked.

“Go ahead. I look good on it.” Seungri joked.

“Seungriya, let's take a walk with noona.”

Seungri smiled widely. He brought along his noona to Boracay with him since she knew the country the best.

“Wait a minute, noona. I'll change my clothes first.”

“Do it quickly. Don’t make a lady waiting.”

“Sure!” Seungri yelled as he ran to his closet, changing for a comfortable outfit for walking around the city. 

His days has never been feeling better than today.

Seungri got his freedom back. At what cost? When he came back home – to his parents' house – he was getting disgusting stare from Hanna, his mother clearly showed disappointment, and his father was silent all the time but Seungri could read from his eyes that he has been foreseeing this since day one.

He couldn’t stop chanting sorry that night before he went to the business trip to Joonie's sleeping figure. He didn’t hear from Jiyong and Joonie since then. 
They must be having fun in the States. Seungri hoped so, because he was having the time of his life too in here.

That was what he thought.

This was what he wanted after all.

He ignored the screaming of pain inside his heart asking for updates about his husband and son.

But he was no longer part of Kwon family's picture.

x

Unconditional love began from loving one's self before it went to the bigger process like acceptance, something that Jiyong was lacking of. His mother thought.

“The thing is, Jiyong, you blame GD for all of this.” His mother said out of sudden in one afternoon. She helped him packing stuffs for their trip to United States. Kwon omma would join them per Jiyong's request. He would spend so much time working before he could get free time to take Joonie around.

“Why you said that, omma?” Jiyong was surprised. He tried to choose clothes that suitable enough for both of him and Joonie.

“Jiyong and GD are one person, but you don’t love GD as a part of yourself. You're the one who make him exists, but also the one who throw him away. It's the same as hating yourself, Jiyong.”

Kwon omma looked at him worriedly. Jiyong frowned.

“Why people look at you as two different persons? Because you make them thinking like that. They see you as different characters." Mrs Lee stated.  "I know deep inside you're scared, Jiyong. Being gay isn't your fault, but it’s not perfectly fit our norm. You're fine and happy before when you’re still being in your own world as Jiyong. But when everything has