Kibum’s surprised at how well he sleeps. Whether it’s the fact that he’s in a seemingly safe apartment or the fact that he’s sleeping in an actual bed, he feels more well rested than he has in weeks. He checks the time on his phone: it’s 5:45. Getting out of bed, he unlocks his door and peeks out into the apartment. He assumes that since all the lights are out that Minho is still asleep. He goes back in his room, figuring that he might as well shower. He’s overjoyed at the fact that there’s not only hot water but also that there’s little travel sized soaps from hotels in a little bucket on the counter. It’s been a while since he’s had soap that smelled so nice. When he finishes, he puts on cleaner pajamas; while he doesn’t want Minho to see him in pajamas quite yet, he’s more afraid of ruining his work clothes. When he goes into the kitchen, the lights are still off and Minho’s door is still shut. He begins poking around the cabinets and in the fridge. While Minho didn’t expressly say that he could eat anything, something inside of him tells him that he’d be more upset if he didn’t. He’s vaguely disappointed at the lack of breakfast foods he finds. He spots maple syrup hidden in the back of the fridge. The clock reads 6:10; plenty of time to make some thank-you-for-letting-me-stay-here pancakes. He mixes up the batter in a minute and quickly gets to work cooking them. If he’s lucky, Minho will sleep just long enough that they’ll be finished. To Kibum’s vague disappointment, Minho wakes up halfway through the cooking. When he comes out, he immediately goes to the coffee maker on the counter. Kibum feels bad for not trying to get it to work, but was also too afraid of breaking it to try.

“Did you sleep ok?” Minho asks, voice deep with sleep. Kibum wonders if he’s just woken up and if not, whether or not his voice gets any lower. He could get used to waking up early, he thinks, if he got to wake up to this sound.

“Yeah, I actually slept really well. Thanks. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a comfortable bed.”

They both turn to look at each other, but immediately turn back away.

“I’m making pancakes, I hope that’s ok. I just wanted to do something to say thank you for letting me stay here,” Kibum says. While he’d been sure that Minho would be okay with it before, now that he was out here Kibum wasn’t so sure.

“Oh, you didn’t have to go to that trouble, dude. I’m happy to let you stay, to help out a friend.” While there’s no malice in Minho’s voice, Kibum’s worry about whether or not pancakes were a good choice grows. When Minho finishes making his coffee, he moves so he’s standing next to Kibum.

“I actually really love pancakes,” he confesses quietly, “I just feel bad making you feel like you have to do work your first morning here.” Kibum fishes the finished pancakes out of his pan onto a plate, pouring a new set to replace them. He hands the plate to Minho, who takes it but doesn’t move.

“Go eat, before they get cold.” Kibum instructs.

“Kibum, you’re my guest. I can wait til you’re done and ready to eat.”

Kibum doesn’t argue but also doesn’t look up. He’s surprised and a little touched that Minho’s willing to wait but is also worried of what he might do if he has to wait long.

“Is this the last batch?”

Kibum nods.

“I’ll set the table then.”

As Minho moves around the kitchen to get condiments and utensils, Kibum attempts to will the pancakes to cook faster. He doesn’t want Minho to have to wait too long. In his haste, he forgets to regrease the pan and the pancakes stick when it gets to be time to flip them over. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Minho fixing coffee. He accepts the mug but remains uneasy as Minho watches him. He gets all but one pancake flipped and he fights the urge to curse at it. When he finally gets it flipped, he can’t help but celebrate. He sees Minho smile behind his coffee mug and he feels a bit lighter. Though it isn’t uncommon for Minho to smile -- as Suho had said, it was weird to see Minho without some sort of smile on his face -- there was something particular about this one that made Kibum feel warm. Smiles like that, Kibum could definitely learn to live with.  With Kibum’s pancakes finished, they both sit at the table.

“So why did your last roommate move out?” Kibum asks. While he’s glad for the empty room, he’s also curious about why someone would move out.

“To put it shortly, he got engaged.” Minho replies, cutting up his pancakes

“What’s the longly then?”

“My roommate, Donghae, and I have been friends for a long time. Since high school, actually. He works as a social worker. We moved in here 5 or so years ago, before we were done with school. We tend to volunteer together a lot since we have similar interests and abilities and stuff. Anyways, when I was part of that group that helped attempt to repair your apartment building, he was in it too. He was assigned to a different area, like the 3rd or 4th floor. When we finished and came home, all he could talk about was the guy that he was teamed up with. How cute and interesting he was. They’d exchanged numbers and it was pretty evident pretty quick that there was something serious between them. They started dating within a week or two, and he started having him -- his name is Hyukjae -- over pretty regularly. Which was fine at first, but then it started feeling weird to be here when he was over. Anyways I mentioned it to Donghae that I wasn’t feeling comfortable with the arrangement and when Donghae mentioned it to him, Hyukjae proposed. They got an apartment within a month and it’s been just me here since then.”

Kibum nods, slowly eating his pancakes.

“What about you?” Minho asks, shoving a huge bite into his mouth.

“What about me?”

“Have you ever had a roommate?”

“I did once, when I was in college. He hated me.”

“I can’t believe that anyone would hate you but I also know college roommates are the worst. What happened?”

Kibum laughs bitterly and before he can decide how much he’s willing to tell Minho about the situation the whole story is falling out of his mouth.

“Well for starters he told me he hated me and that we wouldn’t get along on the first day. He then proceeded to vaguely terrorize me weekly with fun little pranks like stealing literally all of my clothes when I went to shower, throwing water on me if I happened to fall asleep while he was still awake, and stealing my textbooks on a regular basis. He was close to the resident assistant, so I couldn’t complain to her about it. She was close to the building supervisor, so I couldn’t go to her about it. The director of housing was on the brink of retiring and wouldn’t do anything unless the president of the university explicitly demanded that he do it, so I couldn’t go to him. I ended up buying my suitcase so i could lock all of my clothes and textbooks up and take them with me wherever I went. I slept on benches a lot and in my classes. I think a lot of people thought I was homeless, not that I can blame them.”

“That’s terrible, Kibum. I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

Silence ensues. Kibum shifts uneasily and attempts to stuff as much pancake in his mouth as he realistically can. What was he thinking, unloading all of this on Minho? He knows by the concerned look on Minho’s face that his own expression must be grim so he does his best to control it. After a few uncomfortable moments, Minho gets up and takes his plate to the sink.

“Since you made me pancakes, would you accept if I made you lunch?” he asks as he heads to the fridge.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I’m...I’ll be ok.”

Truth be told, Kibum doesn’t have any lunch plans. He’d had his last bit of food for lunch yesterday and since he didn’t get paid til Monday, his plan had been to just hide out in the administration lounge so he wouldn’t have to face Minho lunchless and then go to the food pantry after work. Minho grabs his supplies out and closes the fridge before looking at Kibum.

“Kibum,” he starts softly. “You didn’t bring any food with you, nothing’s going to be open before we get to work, and even though you’re admin today, I know you don’t have time to go get anything while you’re on your lunch break without sacrificing your entire break. I know you don’t want to be burdensome but I’d rather you have at least a little something to take with you.”

Kibum sighs. Though he doesn’t really know Minho, he knows him well enough that he can see that he won’t win this battle. After another bite of pancake, he concedes.

“I guess a small sandwich would be okay. Like half of what you normally take will be fine.”

Minho begins making his sandwich at the counter. Kibum’s grateful for the food, but he can’t help but be nervous as to what’s going into his sandwich versus what Minho’s putting in his own and tries to watch. Minho seems to notice, moving to the table much to Kibum’s relief. Now that he doesn’t have to worry about what’s going in, he uses the time to just watch Minho. There’s something charming about the way he focuses on putting each ingredient on the sandwich. He’s heard Kyuhyun and Suho rave about his sandwiches on more than one occasion and he’s quietly excited to finally try one.

“Are you going to come sit in the teacher lounge with me during your break?” Minho asks without looking up. Kibum is caught off guard by the question; no one’s ever asked him to sit with them.

“If you are, I’ll just put your stuff in with mine so you don’t have to worry about anyone taking it, and by anyone I mean Kyuhyun or Suho.”
Kibum laughs.

“Yeah, I’ll come sit with you.”

*

Over time, their relationship gets more comfortable. Saturday night, Kibum does his best to make dinner for Minho. The pasta bake he makes is one of the first recipes he learned as a child and he’s pleased with how much Minho seems to like it. On Sunday they go grocery shopping. He intends on using his last bit of emergency money to buy his own groceries, but Minho pays for everything and more. He’s grateful for Minho’s kindness but is also worried about what he wants as payment. When they get home, they start cooking freezer meals for the upcoming week. It’s obvious that Minho’s cooking skills aren’t as strong as they could be, but Kibum finds his well-intentioned-but-sloppily-executed aid endearing. Minho listens with interest when Kibum shares the story of how he learned to cook; he can’t tell if his interest is genuine or feigned, but either way he enjoys sharing the story. By the next weekend, they figure out a system. Kibum offers to make their breakfasts if Minho will continue making lunches; their team work on freezer meals means that neither one has to put in more effort. Kibum will pay as close to half of the rent as he can manage and put money in the grocery fund as he can. In turn, Minho agrees to do his best to stop disallowing Kibum to pay for anything. With the ground rules settled, Kibum allows himself to finally set in. He spends more time out of his room, starts using the appliances without major worry, and leaves his books out on the coffee table in the living room without fear.

While he’s grateful for the room and for Minho’s kind company, the whole situation is weird for him. As a former latchkey kid, it’s odd to have someone around all the time. He feels like Minho’s watching him all the time, though he knows he’s also guilty of the same. He hasn’t relied on anyone but himself since he started elementary school and he’s not sure that he has the ability to do so at this point. Whether it’s by luck or the universe trying to teach him to finally trust at the age of 26, Kibum is here now. He just hopes that soon there’s a sign to let him know.

*

When Kibum wakes up, he’s cold. Very cold. There’s a hand on his shoulder and someone talking to him. He tries to move but his body feels incredibly heavy all of a sudden. He blinks, coughs, and turns to see that it’s Minho sitting on his bed.

“Minho?”

“It’s 7:30 so I came to check on you.” There’s concern in his voice, which troubles Kibum.

“It’s what time?”

“Do you feel okay? You don’t look so good.” Minho asks, putting a hand to Kibum’s forehead. He takes a moment to assess how he feels.

“I feel cold. And sore. And...and gross.”

“I’m going to go get the thermometer out of my room, okay? Just stay here.”

Kibum tries to respond, but all he can think about is how cold he is.  He tries rearranging the blankets around himself while Minho’s gone. It takes forever for him to come back but just as Kibum feels himself start to fall back asleep, there’s a dip in the bed.

“I’m going to take your temperature, okay? It’ll probably feel cold on your forehead but it’ll be quick I promise.”

He tries to hum back a yes, but coughs instead. Minho doesn’t tell him what the thermometer says, but judging by his expression, it’s not a good number. Kibum reaches for Minho’s hand to get his attention.

“I don’t think I can go to work today” he croaks. Minho laughs.

“No, Kibum. I think you should stay in bed today. Are you going to be okay if I go to work?”

Kibum thinks about how he feels again. It’s just like old times, when both his parents would go to work regardless of how he feelt, so he hums a yes.

“I’m going to bring you some water and crackers, is there anything else you want?”

His stomach does a flip at the word crackers and he wrinkles his nose. He thinks he sees Minho smile before getting up to get whatever things he said he was going to get. At this point, all Kibum wants to do is be warm and go to sleep. He comes back with more things than he said he would bring and Kibum feels the bed dip again.

“I put it all right here for you. I’ll keep my phone on in case you need me, but if you really need someone and you can’t get ahold of me, here’s the neighbor’s number as well. His name is Siwon and he’s really nice.”

Kibum reaches for Minho’s hand again, and this time Minho holds it. Though he was sure he’d be okay alone just moments ago, he’s not so sure now. Either way, he’s sleepy and Minho’s fingers in his hair isn’t helping. There’s a squeeze on his hand and then Minho’s hand is gone.

“I’ll try to come check on you at lunch, alright?”

Kibum hums even though he’s too sleepy to understand what Minho’s saying anymore. He pulls the blanket over his head and as he hears the door click shut he decides that he doesn’t want to be alone but is too weak to call for Minho. He decides to sleep instead, hoping that Minho will be home soon.

The next time he wakes up, there’s clinking on his nightstand. It occurs to him that Minho must be home.

“Minho?” he tries calling out. He tries to move the blankets off his head but he’s too covered and can’t find his way out. Luckily Minho lends a hand and when he’s finally free of  his cocoon, he’s greeted by a soft smile.

“Did you get some more sleep?” Minho asks.

Kibum nods, coughs. He doesn’t feel any better but if Minho’s home then that’s okay enough.

“I brought you soup. Do you want to try a sip?”

It takes all of Kibum’s strength to whisper“what kind?”

“It’s beef bone soup. The lady at the corner store always makes it and everyone I know swears that it has magical properties.”

Kibum’s stomach does another flip and he wrinkles his nose again.

“That’s my favorite soup but I don’t think my tummy can handle it.”

“How about I put in the fridge for later and we try again when I get home.”

“Aren’t you home?”

“No, I’m on lunch break. Heechul is supposed to cover for me so I can make it back.”

“Oh.”

Kibum’s too tired to try and hide his disappointment that Minho has to leave again and does his best to pout as he takes his temperature. Minho’s face isn’t happy, so his fever is either the same or worse.

“I’m going to put this up and get you more water and a tylenol.”

The moment Minho’s out of the room, Kibum all of a sudden feels incredibly warm. He does his best to try to kick off the blankets but he’s too weak to do it. When he comes back, Minho helps pull them off. He arranges them so that they’re laying alongside Kibum instead of at the feet of the bed. Much easier to get into. He sees Minho check his watch and knows he has to leave again. Kibum does his best to get comfortable enough to sleep again before Minho leaves. When he hears the lock on the apartment door, he’s instantaneously cold again. He thanks Minho for putting the blankets to the side as he rolls into them, falling back asleep.

The third time Kibum wakes up, he’s alone. He can hear dishes clinking in the kitchen and takes it as a sign that Minho is home. Although he still doesn’t feel any better, he’s tired of being alone. He manuvears himself so that he’s sitting up. This proves to be a bad decision and before he knows it he’s reaching for the bucket Minho had brought for him. His grip on the bucket isn’t great; it slips out of his grasp and when he attempts to keep it from falling, he ends up dunking his head into it, getting vomit all into his hair. He’s crying by the time that Minho makes it in.

“You alright, buddy?”

Kibum hiccups and shakes his head. Minho walks in further and seems to assess the situation before sitting down. He offers Kibum his hand, which Kibum gingerly takes.

“I know throwing up isn’t any fun and it probably hurt, but it’s going to be okay,” he says in his kindergarten voice. He lets Kibum have his little cry, rubbing circles into the back of his hand. They both stay still until Kibum is able to sit up properly again.

“If I turn the water on for you, do you think you can manage to shower?”

Kibum takes deep breaths in an attempt to say ‘no’ before he simply shakes his head.

“Do you think it’d be okay if I washed your hair for you?” he offers.

Kibum turns to look at Minho. He’s never had anyone home to take care of him when he was sick, much less help him clean himself up.

“I promise I’m not going to try anything weird. I just want you to be able to get better and I’m sure you’re ready to have clean hair again.”

“I...that should be okay.”

“Are you ready or do you need a minute?”

“Yeah just...just give me a second.”

Minho stands, seemingly with the intention of emptying Kibum’s bucket, but he isn’t ready to let go yet. Minho doesn’t pull away but instead stays until Kibum lets go. He hands Minho the bucket, which gets set down on the ground before helping Kibum stand. Minho walks facing him, leading him to the bathroom. With Kibum’s hands on Minho’s shoulders and Minho’s hands on Kibum’s sides, it almost feels like dancing. Almost. Minho helps him sit on the floor and Kibum is content to lean against the tub as Minho gets water running and washes out the bucket. Though he’s mad that he’s sick and that Minho’s having to take care of him, he’s glad that it at least waited this long.

“Do you just use shampoo or do you like conditioner too?” Minho asks, putting a towel on Kibum’s back.

“I like both but at this point just shampoo is fine.”

When the water seems satisfactory, Minho kneels next to Kibum and helps him shift so that his head is properly over the side. The water is just warm enough to be soothing and when he feels Minho’s fingers on his scalp, he’s instantly relaxed. He enjoys having his hair washed so much that he’s almost glad that he threw up. Almost. If he died at this exact moment, he’d be okay with that, he decides. All too soon, Minho’s done and toweling him off. Kibum’s feeling well enough to sit up on his own and takes the towel to dry his face off. When he looks up, Minho’s looking at him with an affectionate smile. Kibum’s amused when he looks away quickly, as if he realizes he’s been caught.

“Do I look that bad?” he asks, voice stronger than before.

“You don’t look well, but you don’t look bad.”

“So if I don’t look good but I also don’t look bad, what do I look like?”

Minho studies his face again, the smile even warmer this time.

“Like a peach.”

Kibum attempts to laugh. It could be the fever, but the comment makes him feel warm.

“I’m going to go change your sheets, when you’re ready to get up just let me know.”

Kibum nods as Minho stands. He’s peaceful for a moment, but it’s quickly replaced with an immense cold feeling and dry heaving. Minho comes back with the thermometer, face once again disappointed. He brings a blanket to replace the towel around Kibum’s shoulders. Kibum’s grateful when Minho starts to rub his back.

“If you want me to stop, just say.”

Kibum manages to squeak out a “please don’t stop’” in between heaves, and he’s thankful when Minho continues until the episode passes. When it’s over, Minho grabs his phone to text someone.

“Are you going to bed?” Kibum asks, voice hushed. He’s slept all day but he’s still exhausted. He’s also worried about keeping Minho up, knowing that he worked all day.

“Maybe. Do you want to lay down again?”

Kibum nods, then adds “But I don’t really want to be alone.”

Minho looks out into Kibum’s room and Kibum’s worried that he’ll just leave him be again.

“Why don’t you come sleep in my room? My bed is bigger, so we could put pillows or something in between us. Then you’re not alone and I don’t keep getting up to check on you. I’ll be right there if you need me.”

Kibum looks at the floor, tilting his head.

“I...I think I’d like that. If it’s okay,” he says, looking up at Minho.

“Are you ready to move or do you need a bit?”

Kibum attempts to stand, but it’s clear that he isn’t strong enough for it. He reaches out for Minho who catches him. Kibum tries again to stand and move a few times but after a minute or two, Minho simply carries him from one room to the other. It takes Kibum by surprise, but in a pleasant way. Minho sets him down on the side of the bed nearer the bathroom then goes back to get Kibum’s pillow and things, grabbing all the extra pillows he has to put in between them. Once Kibum’s settled and the pillow wall is made, he goes to shower. As he lays in wait for Minho to get back out, Kibum does his best to reflect on things. Before he can get started, Minho’s already done.

“My bed not as comfy as yours?” Minho asks when he comes back into the room.

“I was waiting for you to get back. If you’re going to let me sleep in your bed with you, I can at least wait til you’re in it to sleep. Now that you’re out I make no promises though.”

Minho laughs at the response and gets into bed.

“Thank you for taking care of me today,” Kibum whispers as Minho turns off the light main light. He’s grateful for the nightlight that Minho found, though he’s not sure he’ll be able to get up by himself later to really need it. He reaches his hand out onto the pillow wall, hoping that somehow Minho realizes that it’s there.

“You’re welcome. I can confidently say you’re the best patient I’ve had to take care of so far, seeing as you just slept most of the time and didn’t throw anything at me.”

“No one’s ever taken care of me like this before so I just tried to do what seemed easiest for both of us.”

Kibum feels Minho’s hand find his, and he’s content. Eventually, Minho starts humming a tune. It’s incredibly soothing and somehow sounds familiar.

“What song is that?” Kibum asks when Minho reaches the end of it.

“A lullaby my mom used to sing to me when I would get sick. If it’s bothering you I can stop.”

“No, no. It’s...nice, actually. I like it. Your voice is nice. All of you is nice. Especially your personality and your hair.”

Kibum wants to say more but he stops himself; he is fevered, after all, and he doesn’t want to say too much that he’ll regret whenever he gets better. As Minho keeps singing, Kibum realizes that the only reason he can’t see him is because his bangs are in the way. He shifts his head around, trying to move them out of the way, and his heart flutters when Minho reaches over and brushes them away for him. Slowly he falls asleep to Minho’s humming.

When he wakes up again, it’s morning; there’s sunlight pouring in from the open blinds. He looks over to see Minho still sleeping and smiles. He watches Minho’s chest rise and fall, and in a moment reaches an epiphany. Since they’d met, Kibum had felt drawn to Minho. No one else had ever given him such a feeling of peace and belonging before and he’s been trying to figure out why he’s been willing to trust him to such a degree in so little time. The sunlight is just enough to soften his features and give him the appearance of a halo. There’s a warmth in his chest, and realizes that for him, in this moment, it’s love.