Title : Lie
Characters : You as Amy X Kim Namjoon (Rap Monster)
Genre : Angst
Based on : Love The Way You Lie by Eminem fest Rihanna

"I love the way you lie..."

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“For god sake, she’s one of my colleagues! How many times should I tell you?!” You hung your head low when suddenly his tone turned mad. He realized your expression darkens and guilt hover him within seconds. He came few inches closer and held your chin.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it. It just…” You stared into his gaze. It’s unexplainable. Is he lying or saying the truth?

“I hope you’re understand, babe. You’re the only one for me, okay?” You received a little peck from him. You forced a smile and nodded.

“Me too. Sorry,” You replied short. A wide smile crept on his face and you can see his dimples, his best charm.

“I got to go now so dinner?” You inverted your gaze onto your watch only to find the time was already 15 minutes passed 6. You knew him too well. He won’t make it if he leaves now.

“Nah, I have appointment,” You chose the safe card. You don’t want to risk your time for an unsure promise. He raised an eyebrow, clearly asking confirmation from you.

“Just go. You’ll late for the meeting,” Yeah, ‘meeting’. He nodded and smiled again.

“Yes madam. I’ll call you,” He gave a charming wink for you before taking out his phone and headed away from the park. You didn’t move an inch after he left. You just followed his back with your gaze until he disappears at the corner.

“You must call me this time. You must,” Heavy feelings rushed into your heart as your body sank onto the bench. You grasped your cold palms, trying to give it more heat. Christmas was coming soon and he still busy with his oh-so-called meeting.

You, a normal girl with an average look, and that tall guy with best body proportions called Kim Namjoon have been together for two years. You didn’t expect him to ask you for a date after both of you happened to join the same company few years aback.

He’s the head of his team at the company. You saw him more in suits than casual outfits. He even was wearing suits just now. You can guess that he escaped the work to meet you and you’re thankful for that. At least he saw you happened to see him intimating with a y woman when you creeping into his office.

But since he said she’s his colleagues, well, just accept it. You experienced this little quarrel like 4 times a week where you just asking him out of curiosity.

“Stay strong, Amy,” You muttered, cheering up yourself. You decided to go home as the coldness was beyond your expectation. You pulled out a pair of hand gloves made with wool from your long strap bag but instead of wearing it, you stared holes into it. It’s Namjoon’s first gift for you on your first date.

The good thing about him, he never forgot your birthday. You finally wore a small smile and slipped your hand into the gloves. You sighed in satisfaction after the heat warmed your freezing palms. Keeping your shoulders straight, you walked down the pavement alone towards your home.

XXXXX

You let your landed beside Namjoon who were busy with his phone. The tv was on but he didn’t bother about all the new about the crimes and storms. You clapped your hands silently to break the silent and he still pasted his gaze on his phone. You risked your life when you stole your glances on his chats.

“What are you doing?” He pulled his phone away and looked at you with puzzled expression. You blinked and realized your action wasn’t so pleasant to be seen.

Your face flushed in embarrassment. Following your instinct, you coughed few times to cover your red face.

“Auw, why my throat feels so dry..?” Quickly you stood up while caressing your throat and entered the kitchen. You grabbed the jug and poured water in your pink colored mug. Did you lie about your throat just now? Yes, you felt distress on your chest, not your throat.

After finishing the cold water in one shot, you put down the mug. You took a quick look on Namjoon who just grinning on his texts. You gritted your teeth and balled your fist. You looked at the mug and your mind clicked.

“PRANG!!” The sound of glass shattering echoed throughout the apartment. You heard Namjoon cursing, surprised by the sound.

“Amy! What is that?!” You pursed your lips.

“I’m fine… My hands slipped,” You lied again.

“Don’t drown in your thoughts. You’ll hurt yourself,” You scoffed at his little concern. You bent down to your knees and picked up the glasses. You just ignored your bleeding fingers after the sharp edges cut off your skin. Your heart hurts more. How can you compare that hurt with these small cuts?

You stood up again with broken glasses in your hands. You looked at the glasses and somehow you feel that you’re the same. You wish he realize how much you’re hurting like there’s steel knife in your wind pipe. You can’t breathe but you want to fight as long as you can so you can protect this love.

 

The red liquids flowed down to your wrist and dropped, caused small red stains splashed on the floor. You can’t deny the stinging sensations. Without taking any care to the first-aid-kit box near to you, you just move passed it to settle the glasses.

(In the bathroom)

“Yeah, sure. See ya,” You heard his deep voice from the outside. You don’t want him to see your wounds. In a flash, your hand reached the door knob and locked it. The door shook when he tried to open it.

“Amy? You’re inside?” He asked. You gulped and answered.

“Yup. Use the other one,” You sighed as his footsteps move away from the bathroom. You the water heater. While waiting for the water to ready, you grabbed some tissues. The tissues turned into reddish as it absorbed the blood on your fingers.

Your pupils turned to your reflection at the mirror. Did he really didn’t care about you? That question wandered every day and every night in your mind. You felt like a fool. He should know this but you have no courage to talk to him.

“Amy! Open the door!” The door was banged with full force. You jumped when the door was unlocked and Namjoon barged in. He was frowning so much and he pulled your hands right away. Before he can take a good look on it, you pulled away and hide your hands.

“Give me your hands,” He instructed but you just shook your head. Your face turned pale cause you’re aware how scary he would be if he’s mad.

“Give me your f***ing hand,” When he included the curse word, you surrendered. You handed your hand and he grasped it. He bent down his body to get a closer look.

“I told you to be careful! Look what have you done!” Namjoon won’t stop complaining as he traced his fingers onto the scratches. You mouthed silent yelp when the pain hit you again. He noticed your hurting expression. He then on them to ease the pain a little.

“Is it better now?” Namjoon locked his gaze with yours. You just kept your mouth shut without any reaction. You only showed how you’re surprise by his sudden concerns. He pulled your hand toward the sink and the tap. He let the warm water rushed over your hands and you still clenching your teeth to hold in the stings.

“If I didn’t see that blood on the floor, you won’t tell me, don’t you?” He questioned. You bite your lips and left the question unanswered. After he done cleaning the blood, he reached a towel from the top rack and dry your hands in care.

44933. Let’s put some ointments,” He grabbed your wrist and exited the bathroom.

XXXXX

You missed him. He ignored your calls for a week but he read your messages. What exactly does he wants? He said he’s going on a business trip but still, is it that hard to answer your call and tell you what’s he been up to?

You did a decision full of risk. You packed up your things and bought a flight ticket. Yes, you’re going there with an excuse to visit your parents who happened to live around that area.

You arrived at the evening and its 7pm. You walked through the busy airport while pulling your luggage towards the exit. You drew your phone out and opened the chat between you and one of the head managers, Seokjin yesterday. You observed the address that he gave you before you got in a taxi to go and see Namjoon.

XXXXX

“Kim Namjoon,” You said to one of the workers at the receptions.

“Can I know your relationship with him?” She asked. That’s weird. Why would she need that?

“His girlfriend. Just say that and he’ll know me,” The worker nodded and makes a phone call. You tapped your fingers on the desk, waiting patiently. When the worker ended the call, you focused on her again.

“Sorry miss. He said his girlfriend was already arrived. He told anyone else to leave,” Your eyes widened. He what?!

You almost curse out loud at the moment but your rational mind stopped you from doing that. You inhaled deeply and your face turned red. Not because you’re humiliated, it’s because he’s cheating on you. Is that a same thing? You don’t care.

“Amy, is that you? I didn’t expect you to come here this fast. You just arrived?” You turned to the source and saw Jin standing not so far from you. Without answering his questions, you rushed to him and held his coat. He was about to push you away but you have a strong grip on anything if you’re in your serious mode.

“Where’s Namjoon’s room? Tell me! Now!” You asked. Jin held onto your hands, grasping it. “Easy, okay,”

You pulled your hands away and became calmer. “I’ll take you,” Jin grabbed your suitcase and stepped to the elevator.

“Here,” He put down your suitcase in front of the door. You froze there, not really know what to do next. You jolted when a hand touched your shoulders.

“Should I stay?” He asked, knowing what’s waiting. You shook in determination. “No, I should face it myself. If I need to end this, it’s my own fight,” Jin stepped few steps back and walked away.

Finally, your heart was ready. You raised your hand and balled a fist. Knocking slowly, you heard someone voice from inside.

“Who’s that?” It’s Namjoon’s. You felt like he must open the door no matter what so you said, “Room service,” with faked voice.

The door clicked open and a figure greeted you.

It’s not Namjoon. It’s a woman. Covered with bathrobe only.

Her face was so caked with thick makeup and strong perfume scents rushed into your sense.

“Room service? Are you serious? With this outfit?” She looked at you from top to bottom and looked at your face again.

“What’s wrong, babe?” You heard him again. Your eyes stings and watered.

“I don’t think it’s the room service,”

“Then wh-,” The door was pulled wider, revealing Namjoon with a bathrobe too. He stood there, surprised. You looked at his exposed torso dripping wet hair.

“Am-,”

“Don’t call my name with that mouth. That dirty mouth that you use to lie to me,” You said between your clenching teeth. He pulled that woman inside.

“Go and stay inside,” The woman smirked at you and walked in.

“Who told you to come here?” His gaze, his brows, his expressions. He’s mad? He’s mad! Woah. You can’t believe it.

“Me, I’m the one who told myself. I did a great decision tho,” You sneered. Your breath became unstable and tears were falling through your cheeks.

“Look, it’s not like what you see. She’s-,”

“She’s what? Your colleagues? Your boss? Your childhood friend? Your classmates? And you’re just hanging out together? In a hotel room, without proper outfits? HAHAHAH…! I’m impressed how you still want to lie. You’re a pro liar, Kim Namjoon,” You cut him off. Your wide smirk can’t deny the fact that you’re crying for him.

“Stop calling me a liar,” He frowned while scratching his head. A small laugh came out from you.

“Let’s end this, should we? I love you so much but what can I do? Every time I asked you who that girl is, you said she’s just a friend or you didn’t even know her name!” You argued. Namjoon just stayed there, listening to your anger.

“WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS? You ignored me. But when I feeling like dying, you appeared and resuscitate me. I’m ashamed and confused right now. You said you love me but you didn’t even bother to convince me and say it to me. You showed your love only once in awhile and just let me hurting for most of the time,”

He still keeping his lips sealed. Your face was a mess and you don’t care if the security camera caught this scene.

“I’ve gone mad, you know? You just gonna stand there and watch me burning in this hell of love. But I just accept it cause I love the way it’s hurting me. Why? Because I love you, Kim Namjoon,” His hard expression softened little by little.

“And now I’m crying like this. I know you just gonna stand there and watch me cry. I’m suffocating in these tears, in this hell. You won’t save me, right? Even if I handed out my hand, you won’t grab it,” Weakly, your right hand makes its way to you left hand, grasping your most precious ring. You pulled it off and stared it for a long time.

“You remember this? You said you bought this only for me but I know you bought more for some other girls,” You caressed the ring before you put it in Namjoon’s hand. You looked up and saw his shock expression.

“ I know all those girls. I know most of them but I haven’t told them about our relationship. But I just want to know what you did with those girls. I know that house we’re living in was your ex’s. I know everything, Kim Namjoon,” You stepped nearer to Namjoon and cupped his cheeks while looking into his gaze deeply. His pupils were shaking, showing fear and guilt.

Without hesitation, you stood on your toes and attached your lips onto his. You felt his warm lips against yours but you know it’s not only yours. He kissed tons of girls besides you.

“I love the way you lie,”

You passed out right after that. Namjoon who was still mesmerized by your words gasped at the sight. No one knows. No one ever knows about your sufferings and your struggles to keep your body and heart stronger. Your solo fight against cancer was not easy but you’re glad at least there’s someone who can make you experience love for one last time. You’re glad that you did let him go so you can…

Rest in peace….

 

[END]