lol i'm sorry

____

Jimin grinned to himself, giving his phone screen his full attention.

yoongi: 
oh hell no

yoongi: 
i'm not about to drive your crusty into town for that

yoongi: 
have you seen my car? it's this dark red mess that looks like it'll collapse if you touch it

yoongi: 
it's the pimple on the face of this earth

He took one last bite of his apple before setting it on his lunch tray. This text deserved the attention of both his hands.

jimin: 
But dude

jimin: 
Listen

jimin: 
Thai food

There was a pause in conversation, which really meant that Yoongi was typing for a second, and then he wasn't, and then he was again.

yoongi: 
you make a compelling argument

"Ha," Jimin whispered to himself, his voice full of quiet triumph as he went to type again. "I win."

jimin: 
Glad you think so

jimin: 
Because you're driving my crusty to get us some

yoongi: 
you're high maintenance

yoongi: 
why did i agree to this

"What are you smiling at?" Taehyung questioned beside him, his eyebrows quirked. It took every bit of restraint for him to not lean over and snoop. Jimin had been sitting there, grinning to himself about 'nothing' for the whole lunch period like he was being flirted with by Megan Fox, and his friends couldn't help but wonder what it was about.

Jimin just shook his head in reply, despite the stupid smile plastered on his chubby-cheeked face. "Nothing," he lied again.

Through text, Yoongi was so much more bold, using biting sarcasm that hit Jimin upside the head like a baseball. He liked it.

"Hey, Jimin," a fluttery voice chimed, pulling him back into his setting.

Halfheartedly, he glanced up to make eye contact. The task at hand was debating with Yoongi over getting food before or after covering thermodynamics, so he hoped this would be quick. "Yeah?" he replied.

Sojin, who was sitting across from him at the circular table, ran a hand through her blonde hair, smoothing it out and pretending she didn't realize how long and silky it was. Jimin almost rolled his eyes.

"I saw you in the hallway with that Yoongi kid yesterday," she brought up, and usually she was extremely easy on the eyes, but Jimin found himself not wanting to look at her. "You're not trying to make friends with him, are you?"

Jimin opened his mouth to reply, but then for once, he felt himself hesitating. Sojin could be hard to read, but one thing was for sure - her choice of words didn't sound congratulatory.

"Why?" he asked, almost curious, almost defensive. It was best to pretend not to have emotions in front of Sojin, so he just took another bite of his apple. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

A scoff, followed by an inspection of her nails in the most Hollywood way Jimin could possibly imagine. "You must not know, then," she concluded, nodding to herself, the way she always did when only she knew something.

That was enough to push Jimin's buttons. And it didn't help that Taehyung was just nodding silently beside her, as if she was a preacher and he had cause to say amen. Jimin, irritated, wondered why his -up of a friend didn't just applaud her.

"Enlighten me, then," he huffed before biting into his apple again, this time aggressively. Bits of the fruit threatened to fall to his styrofoam tray from the way his teeth tore in.

Sojin gave him a serious look. "Jimin," she said, as if she were telling him this for his own good. "He's a ."

Jimin could've choked on his mouthful of food. "What?" he blurted out without bothering to swallow it.

Sojin winced, as if the sight caused her physical pain. "That's gross. Please swallow your food," she scolded, the pitch of her voice climbing with every word. "And yes, he's...gay."

Jimin's thoughts were a blur, a complete blur. "Are you sure?" he asked, trying to save the freaking out for when he actually knew the truth. "He doesn't seem gay," he added, thinking back through the times he'd talked to Yoongi, considering the mannerisms and words he could remember.

No matter what he recalled, he couldn't think of anything that seemed to click. Nothing seemed to fit into the puzzle she'd just handed him. He grimaced.

"How do you even know?" he questioned her, just to be sure, because  why was he finding this out just hours before this same guy was supposed to tutor him, minutes before he was going to see him in chemistry? His stomach felt weird.

Sojin finished chewing an incredibly small bite of food before opening her red lips again. "A friend of his outed him freshman year," she explained, her face scrunched up in distaste. "He's bad news, Jimin."

Jimin looked to Taehyung, who nodded in confirmation, making a face similar to Sojin's, like there was a bad smell in the room. "I was in his class. I asked him about it," he recalled. "He didn't deny it, he just stared at me."

This was bad. And it only felt worse when he realized that Yoongi being friends with him and agreeing to help him with chemistry might be partly, if not solely based on Yoongi being attracted to him.

.

What was he going to do?

, , ,

That day, he walked into the chemistry room packed with discomfort and nerves. Those nerves were accompanied by relief when he saw the absence of a quiet boy with hipster glasses at their table, but it didn't help him all that much.

Coming into chemistry usually made him feel an ounce nervous. Maintaining a good grade in this class was like trying to balance twelve books on your head while riding a roller coaster, and it's a burden he wouldn't wish on anyone. But today, he was a different type of nervous, and it had nothing to do with academics.

His hesitant feet took their time finding his seat, and when they did, he did something that he rarely did. He ped his heavy backpack and pulled out his math textbook.

Borderline desperate, he flipped to a random empty page, picking a question and 'thinking' about it. Faking complete focus so it would seem - to his target audience of one person - like he was working.

His face twitched. These words and numbers and letters suddenly made no sense. It was pretty hard for him to think straight (no pun intended) when he had Yoongi biting at the back of his mind, and the fact that he might think about Ryan Gosling to get him off in the shower.

Dammit, Jimin. Graphs. Think about graphs.

"Due next period?" he suddenly heard from next to him, and what followed was a flinch so dramatic, it made him drop his pencil on the desk with a resounding thwack.

"Jesus," Yoongi half-chuckled as Jimin picked his pencil back up. "Did I really scare you that much?"

"Shut up," Jimin huffed, embarrassed. Why was he being so jumpy? No, he didn't know what he was going to do if Yoongi really was gay, but it shouldn't be making him nervous like this.

Yoongi frowned, pulling his earbuds out and setting them on the table. "The hell is up with you?"

Jimin's expression didn't change. "Nothing."

Yoongi looked away, confused and a little put out. What was Jimin all worked up about? And what was he supposed to do about it?

"Hey, wanna hear this?" he tried offering, holding out a familiar blue earbud.

The blonde was tentative about accepting this offer, partly because touching Yoongi, or even going within five inches of him felt tabooed now. But eventually he placed the earbud in his left ear and waited, statue-still, for Yoongi to start playing the track again.

And when he did, Jimin thought the music was great, just like before. Peaceful, enchanting, probably something that would ease him to sleep if he could focus on something other than Yoongi's uality. Unfortunately, he was finding that pretty difficult. He blamed it on how damn close they were sitting.

"I like it," he remarked halfheartedly, swallowing the lump forming in his throat as his eyes found themselves locked on Yoongi's foot under the desk. It could've been his mind playing tricks on him, but that foot seemed to be ever so slowly inching towards Jimin's own.

"Hey, Yoongi?" he asked a bit nervously when their feet were only a few centimeters apart, (they might've been like that the whole time but he's not taking risks) pulling the earbud out and setting it on the table. "I have a question."

"Okay," his friend replied, as he wrapped the blue cords around his phone. "Shoot."

Jimin swallowed again, his throat feeling like he'd just inhaled sand. "Are you, um..." he mumbled, eyes fixated on his mechanical pencil. It was a nice pencil. A good excuse to avoid eye contact. He clicked the eraser, causing more lead to pop out, then pushed it back in.

"Are you gay?"

Once he opened his mouth, the words just fell out, and there they were. Out on the table, and Jimin couldn't lie to himself. He was scared less of the answer.

Yoongi did seem surprised by the question at first, but not much could be told by his face. Which was normal, but not helping Jimin's nerves at the moment. "Why? You want a piece of this?" he joked after the impact of the question died down, elbowing his friend in the side.

He was trying to joke around like they usually did, to make the seconds ticking away less intense. Jimin could tell, but he felt pretty much nothing but torn, conflicted.

An indecisive Jimin continued to click and twirl that green mechanical pencil in his fingers, scooting less than a centimeter's distance away from Yoongi. "I just wanna know," he told him quietly.

Yoongi seemed a little confused now, sitting in complete silence but maintaining the blankest expression that he could.

Thinking about it now, it wasn't like Sojin and Taehyung hadn't told Jimin some proper bull in the past. This Yoongi being gay thing could be true, or it could be a part of that gradually building pile of bull that had been sitting in the corner of their friendship for years.

"Are you? Or are you not?" Finally, he stopped twirling that dumb pencil, and as soon as the small object came to rest, Yoongi stopped looking at him.

The immediate change in his demeanor felt like a dead giveaway, but Yoongi wasn't always predictable. "What?" his friend asked without purpose, pushing his glasses up on his nose. Those cogs must have been turning in his head a mile a minute.

"Can you just-" Jimin sighed, squirming around in his seat because this made them both just as uncomfortable as the other. "Can you answer?"

Yoongi's stare took refuge on the whiteboard. The red second hand on the clock ticked on and on, further and further around, but his mouth never opened up to answer.

"Yes or no?" Jimin urged for the third time, and he was starting to get desperate. No matter the answer, waiting was torture, and he needed it to end.

And end, it did, because Yoongi couldn't just stare at that whiteboard forever. What he could do was sigh, place his hands over his face, and wish he were somewhere else right now. "Yeah," he confessed, voice muffled by his fingers. "I️ am."

Jimin gulped. .

His thoughts all danced a confusing foxtrot in his head, and he couldn't seem to put any of them into words.

"Oh," was all he said.

And as he turned away to look straight at the board and scoot just a little further away from Yoongi, there was a long, painfully awkward silence, suffocating both of them.

They knew exactly what was happening. They both knew. What were they supposed to say to each other?

It felt as if their short friendship was coming to a screeching halt. And all because of Jimin's friends and an interrogation that lasted all of a minute and a half.

"Alright, guys. We're gonna get started here," Mrs. Jung announced, her voice breaking into the walls of their little world, half relieving Jimin of the strange pull at his heartstrings.

Yoongi felt none of that relief. He leaned forward, resting his head in his arms and trying to pretend like he was alone and okay.

____

a/n
okAY I sAID I WAS SORRY BEFORE SO DON'T HATE ME PLEASE AND THANK YOU

why do i hurt yoongi honestly. i'm a bad mom

(yay for fast updates tho)