“Will you be my girlfriend?”… The words hung in the air between them. As soon as she said them, Yuju heard a sharp inhale from the other girl, and she started to wish that she hadn’t said anything. Like she could somehow reel the words back through the phone line and force them back down . She held her breath while she waited for SinB’s response.

“Y-Yuju… I… I. Am I dreaming?” the younger girl’s voice was light and airy. Yuju chuckled. “Because if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up” Yuju could hear shuffling on the end of the line followed by a sharp ‘OUCH’ “Okay… this definitely isn’t a dream”

“What did you do? What happened?” the worry evident in her voice.

“I- um” she heard SinB laugh quietly and could picture her sitting cross legged in her bed scratching the back of her head – the thought was adorable “I, umm… pinched myself to make sure this was real.” Yuju laughed gently.

“Stupid. You need to take care of yourself.” She let out a long breath “Well… what do you say?” the words were shaky, and she let them out slowly. She heard SinB let out an equally long breath.

“Umm… Yuju… the thing is… I umm… I’ve never dated before, and umm… I umm… I don’t know what I’m doing with someone else’s heart. I don’t want to hurt you, oh God, the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I don’t know if I could do that to you. I don’t know if I can do that. But I don’t know if I can be the person you think I am… I- I don’t know if I can be everything you deserve. Please understand that I don’t want to hurt you, I just… I umm… think we might be better as…. just friends” Yuju felt her heart sink. She couldn’t bear to hear the other girl talk about herself like that.

“SinB… You wouldn’t hurt me, you couldn’t hurt me, I know you.” she took a deep breath and paused for a couple of moments, enveloping them in a brief silence “I like you… I like everything about you. I’ve liked you from the very first moment I laid eyes on you. I remember when I first saw you I thought ‘wow, who is that girl? She’s gorgeous’ and then I heard stuff about you at school and I only wanted to know more. And then we met, and you’re nothing like anyone thinks you are – you’re kind and sweet, charming and honest, funny and endearing, and I think you’re the smartest, most talented person I’ve ever met. You’re cute and gorgeous and goddammit SinB I think I fall even more in love with you every time you smile. You bring out the best in me, and you make me want to be better. And… I think we could be great together.”

“Unnie, you’re not the only one. I think I fall in love with you more every single day. Every time I see you my heart races, every time you smile I get butterflies, every time you look at me I can’t help but smile, when we touch I feel my skin burning white hot, and when you say my name I want nothing more than to hold you close. But you see, this is why we can’t be together. Because I’ve fallen too hard, too fast, and… and I’m scared that if I can fall in love with you this quickly, that I could fall out of love just as easily, and God knows it scares me more than anything. I just don’t think I can take that risk. Don’t think I could risk hurting you.” From SinB’s end a sob tugged at the back of at the thought of hurting Yuju, but she did her best to swallow it back so that the older girl wouldn’t hear it, and wouldn’t be hurting any more than her words probably did. On Yuju’s end, a single tear fell down her cheek and into her lap. It was cold against her leg, but she didn’t brush it away because it was a distraction from the burning she felt in the pit of her stomach. At least she didn’t flat-out tell me she hates me she thought to herself, it brought a bitter smile to her face and she forced a fake laugh.

“I didn’t know you had it in you to be so serious, SinB. I won’t press you any further. But… we’re okay, right? Still friends?” she heard SinB chuckle at her attempt to be flippant, but it was hollow and the older girl just knew that it was forced like her own previously.

“Of course we are. I don’t think I could let anything so minor pull us apart, so don’t think you’re getting away that easily.” She followed this comment with a slight giggle which sounded more genuine than the laugh it followed. Her next comment came with a sense of hesitancy though, as if she was trying to figure out the best way to word it “So… ummm… I was thinking… can I ask a huge favour?”

Yuju grinned knowing that everything was okay between them. She was bummed that SinB had rejected her, but understood the girl’s reasoning and didn’t want to push her further and risk pushing her away altogether. She was also pleased that SinB still felt comfortable enough with her to ask her for something, so she hummed quickly before replying “Of course you can. What’s up?”

SinB was a bit stuttery in her response, but Yuju let her take her time. “You- your umm mixtape, it was fan- it was phenomenal, I- I loved it. Especially your umm your rendition of No Mercy; I never knew anyone could make the song sound so beautiful but… my God did it sound great! I’m getting side-tracked. What I was going to say was… you’re umm… well you’re an amazing vocalist and… I… I need an amazing vocalist – someone with a wide vocal range, with great control over their voice who can perform a range of styles, if nothing else you showed me that you can do all of that. I guess BTS were right when they sang ‘I need you girl’! OhmyGodIcan’tbelieveIjustsaidthat” this comment was followed by a brief nervous chuckle from her end, and Yuju could feel a smile tugging at her lips “Would you mind, and you can totally say no if you want to, but would you mind lending me your voice for my project? It’s not like I’m going to be distributing it or anything afterwards, it’s just for me to complete it. And like I said, you don’t have to say yes, I don’t mind if you say you’d rather not” Yuju could almost FEEL the nervousness dripping from SinB’s words, it made her laugh

“Of course I wouldn’t mind. Like you said, you’re not distributing it… unless Miss Kim’s friend decides to play it on her radio station – in which case I totally want 50% of the royalties on it!” this comment was interrupted by a laughing outburst from SinB and a brief ‘of course!” before Yuju continued “but for completion’s sake, I don’t have a problem with helping you out. And I kinda already told you I would earlier when I gave it to you, I just wasn’t exactly explicit.” If it were possible, Yuju was she would be able to feel the extent of SinB’s grin from where she was.

“Ohmygod ohmy god! Really? That’s amazing. Thank you!” Her words seemed to be coming out at ten to the dozen, with no filter, so when an ‘I love you so much for this’ came out, she stopped dead, and began to stutter. “I mean… I … I owe you… big time for this…” and just like that they were wrapped in an awkward silence. Yuju was the first to break the silence with a yawn, quickly followed by an apology because it was well past her bed time. SinB then also apologised for keeping the older girl awake and asked if she’d prefer to sleep, reminding her they could terminate the call at any time. So after many goodbyes, they hung up several minutes later.

Yuju glimpsed at her clock on her nightstand. It was past 11pm. She and SinB had been on the phone to each other for over an hour. She would really regret this tomorrow. She realised she’d regret it even more when sleep wouldn’t come because her thoughts ran in circles about a certain girl making a remix. No matter how hard she tried, her thoughts kept trailing back to SinB, and so she admitted defeat. She lay there and allowed herself to think about the younger girl until the early hours of the morning….

Author's note: AAAANNNDDD look who's finally decided to drag their lazy back to continue with their story! I know I said I'd be back as soon as my exams were over, but since they finished two weeks ago I've pretty much spent the entire fortnight catching up on all the sleep that stress  (and studying) deprived me of. So first of all, apologies are in order. SORRY GUYSS! But I'm back now. With three months of summer and nothing to fill it with, lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you feel about me) you, you get more of my annoying irritating you with infrequent updates and pointlessly long commentaries.

I'd also like to apologise for the kinda angsty chapter I've blessed you with this time - it's currently 1:30am here so not a lot of proper thought really went into this. I have some idea which direction it'll go from here, but I'm almost just as clueless as you readers are. I'd like to thank you all for putting up with such an unreliable author, and for sticking with me up to now - you coming back time and again (even if you're a silent reader) means a heck of a lot. As always, I appreciate your subscriptions, votes and comments so (DISCLAIMER: shameless self-promo ahead) please do feedback in one way or another because it really does go a long way with me, and I try to reply to all comments as my way of thanking you for simply being here and supporting me.

That's all from me this time, I hope you're all doing okay and are taking good care of yourselves. Stay happy and healthy and continue to take care of yourselves in the best way possible. And remember, try to be the best version of you that you can be every day so that you can live life with no regrets.  Until next time! Love and hugs, Lala xoxo :D